THE BIG LIE GOES ON AND ON AN ON AND ON......

As a fan of The Simpsons I tend to watch it whenever it's on. That means every night on Sky, where episodes are repeated time and again. I enjoy the programme so much that I don't mind seeing the same episode many times; I still laugh even though I know what's coming! I was thinking recently about one particular episode, where we discover that Principal Skinner is a fraud when the real Seymour Skinner turns up. Nobody likes the real Skinner and prefer the one they're used to. At the end the real Skinner is sent off while a judge pronounces that everyone is to forget all that's happened and go back to the counterfeit Skinner as being the one and only Principal Seymour Skinner. In subsequent episodes the whole tale is wiped from everyone's collective memory.

Does this sound familiar? It's been the same with Rangers. Old Rangers died and went into liquidation and Green bought the assets and started a new club called The Rangers. Some time afterwards it was decided, by our football authorities and our press, to do the same as was done in the Simpsons: pretend that Green's team is the same Rangers and that none of last year's events happened!

Despite the deranged assertions of Loony Leggat, and others, that our media and football authorities have it in for Rangers, the fact is that everybody has fallen over backwards to keep the Big Lie going. For example, in Monday's Daily Record one Neil McLeman (no, I'd never heard of him either) reported on Green's latest snake-oil sales pitch about moving to England within the next five years. McLeman resorts to the usual fawning attitude. He calls Green's team the 'most successful club in Scottish history,' and blames Rangers' woes on 'falling out with the Scottish authorities!'

The problem with this fawning self-delusion is that it plays right into the hands of Green and his merry band of bigots. Loony Leggat rants on practically every day about how Lawwell has taken over the SPL and SFA with the sole aim of destroying Rangers. Given how our powers-that-be and our media have erased what happened to Rangers from the history books, it is easy to see how the Sevilles lap up everything Leggat, Traynor etc say and actually believe that they have been wronged!

With their usual single-mindedness, (well, you can't expect more from a single brain cell) Rangers bloggers and posters on online media jump on the ridiculous idea that Celtic is a different team from the one that won the European Cup! This notion is based on all the jiggery-pokery about 'holding companies' that we've come to know and love. Their contention is that if Rangers is a new team then Celtic became a new team in 1994. Again, this is all down to the wide acceptance of the lie that Green 'bought' Rangers.

Does anybody else remember Victor Kiam? He was the guy that loved Remington so much that he bought the company. Many individuals buy over companies as going concerns and keep the company running as before, or even expand the operation. Corporate takeovers are also common, where companies buy over other companies. What happened in the case of Rangers is entirely different.

When Woolworth's was in administration some Donald Trump-like character could have bought the company as a going concern and kept it going as the same thing with an unbroken history. When the company was wound up the assets were all sold off to pay creditors. If somebody bought the shops and called them The Woolworth's they could hardly claim that it was the same company with all Woolworth's history intact!

It's the same with Celtic and Rangers. McCann bought Celtic as a going concern and kept the club running as usual. Green, on the other hand, did not buy Rangers; he bought the assets from Duff and Phelps, albeit in an underhand way that left the creditors with nothing. He called his new team The Rangers. And it is a new team, no matter what our media would have us believe. 

This fact, however, is unlikely to penetrate the skulls of the supporters of Green's team. They would prefer to believe that Rangers is the same club and have been punished unfairly by a gang of Taigs, Tarriers and Fenians!

Meanwhile, Loony Leggat is now telling us that the SPL, under the leadership of Celtic, is about to break the rules of UEFA. Cue all manner of teeth gnashing and hand wringing from the Peeppell. The irony is that UEFA's rules have already been broken. Allowing a team without three years audited accounts into the league ahead of others flies in the face of all the rules of UEFA and FIFA!

THE SIX COUNTIES MARK TWO

There have always been conspiracy theorists about. Even in Ancient Greece Socrates was accused of corrupting the young, while Athens was always convinced that oligarchs were plotting to take over their democratic state. In the Nineteenth Century many Americans voted for the Anti-Masonry Party, while there are many nowadays that believe the Illuminati are running the world. 

Some conspiracy theories make no sense; like the idea that the trip to the Moon in 1969 never happened and was filmed in the desert. This begs the question as to why they would bother! Other conspiracy theories are more sinister, like trying to blame a certain race, religion or political party for all society's ills. The Nazis blamed the Jews for the economic crisis in Germany, which led to millions of them being murdered. In America in the 1950s Communists were accused of trying to take over the state and many people's lives were ruined because of the ensuing Witch Trials.

Generally it is right-wing extremists that look for somebody to blame. They cannot offer any reasonable solutions so promulgate the simple-minded belief that their favourite scapegoat has caused everything that is going wrong. Today's scapegoat of choice is the unemployed. Unemployed people are portrayed as lazy and feckless, sponging off the honest tax payer. This helps to deflect from the disgusting facts of the rich dodging out of paying tax and incompetent bankers get paid millions in bonuses.

Another dangerous mob is the one that seeks to blame Catholics for everything wrong in the country and in the world. Bloggers, and their followers and contributors, have been vocal in their condemnation of the disgraceful adoption scandal that happened in Franco's Spain. They have gone on an on about how evil the Catholic Church is and how something needs to be done about it. For the children, you understand. If you challenge any of them on their obsession with all things Catholic they say that they are just reacting to what is in the news and that they care for children, as everyone should. Strangely, however, they were all silent about the news of the forced adoption scandal in Australia. So much for their overriding concern being for the children!

Equally strange is the fact that all these budding Esther Rantzens are prepared to believe the story about what happened in Spain even thought it was the BBC that broke it. Other stories coming out of the BBC are dismissed as lies. The BBC, you see, are 'Rangers Haters.' Not only that but it is full of Catholics looking to undermine Scottish and British traditions and culture. This is all part-and-parcel of what the 'Rangers-minded' believe is happening in Scotland. They honestly believe that there is a great Catholic conspiracy going on to take over Scotland. Phase One seems to have been 'demoting' Rangers to Division Three!

These McCarthyites are even suggesting that the SNP and the vote for Scottish independence is part of this Catholic conspiracy! 'A vote for independence is a vote for Rome,' one of these nutters suggested. Nobody on the site disagreed with him! It all smacks of the same kind of rhetoric that was about when the Liberal Party tried to introduce their Home Rule Bill for Ireland before World War I. No doubt there are politicians ready to ship arms to the Scottish Volunteer Force if the vote next year goes in favour of independence!

Perhaps there is only one solution to assuage these madmen: partition. If the vote next year results in Scotland breaking from the United Kingdom then a conclave could be set aside for all these Unionists to live and still be part of the UK. Such a conclave already exists. There are huge chunks of Lanarkshire, formerly Monklands, where shops can't have green signs, limeade is not on sale and green traffic lights have to be protected with thick wire mesh. Sorted. Rangers can move to Larkhall and play games against Linfield. The whole area can be decorated with murals of King Billy and they can all pretend that they are still living in the Seventeenth Century. What's that line they sing? 'Every day's like the Twelfth of July.' They can get their wish! I'm sure they'd all be much happier there than in a Catholic-loving, Rangers-hating Scotland. 

And I'm equally sure that the rest of Scotland would be much happier for this lot to be away from civilised society!

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

 

Remember those words? Celtic had asked for help in their European campaign and that was Traynor's reaction. Conversely, he was the first in line to support Walter Smith's call for help in 2008. The words came back to me when I read Charles Green's latest tirade against everybody in Scottish football. Jabba, as is usual of late, has had nothing to say.

Green has decided to demand that Rangers be placed in the second tier if league reconstruction goes ahead. Some might say that he doesn't actually use the word 'demand' but he certainly doesn't ask! According to him, Rangers deserve to jump the queue, like they did when they entered Division 3 in the first place. To him, however, this is not Rangers jumping ahead of others but merely natural justice!

In Ancient Greece rich young men would go to philosophers to learn how to do public speaking and how to construct persuasive arguments. The top dogs, like Plato and Aristotle, would sneeringly refer to many of these teachers as 'logic-choppers.' The way Green makes his argument you would think that he'd gone to one of these characters.

His argument is that Rangers winning Division 3 means that they deserve promotion to Division 2. League reconstruction would mean them staying in Division 3, which is patently unfair. Others have jumped on this bandwagon and trot out the 'sporting integrity' line. This is the phrase that Traynor was fond of belittling so it is easy to smell his clammy hand behind Green's latest diatribe.

Green says that it would be more just to wait until next year to bring in reconstruction. The problem is that he would try to play the same game then, demanding to be put into the top tier since Rangers had won Division 2!

The fact is that, as things stand, it will take Rangers two more years to get into the top tier. With league reconstruction it would take Rangers two years to get into the top tier. This is the proper way to look at things, instead of Green's twisted logic-chopping.

So how does Green think he can get away with making his demands? It all comes down to allowing the lie to be perpetuated that Green's New Rangers is the same as the old one. Letting Green array his team in the same strip, complete with kid-on stars, has allowed him, and others, to claim that Rangers were demoted as a punishment. With this in mind Green feels that he is perfectly entitled to demand that Rangers do not deserve to be where they are. Our football authorities need to come down firmly and tell Green that his is a new team, which was graciously allowed into the SFL and which has no voting, or any other powers. Surely that will shut him up?

And stand by for Traynor coming out of hibernation soon. As I predicted, he disappeared after the Nimmo-Smith announcement. He no doubt already had his polemic written about how everyone was out to get Rangers but had the rug pulled out from under him. His whole agenda depends on nothing more than finger-pointing and hatred and he needs something new to foment this. Green's latest nonsense is Jabba dipping his toe into the water to see how things are. If, as he hopes, there is a backlash against Green his huge head will once more appear above the parapet to tell us all that everyone is out to get Rangers, they're all bad, boo hoo hoo etc. etc.

Loony Leggat ignores all this and instead decides to concentrate on the Green Brigade march. He has a go at the Herald for daring to suggest that the police might have been heavy-handed. Isn't that the excuse trotted out by Rangers apologists for smashing up Manchester and rioting in Barcelona etc? He also, with a perfectly straight face and with not a hint of irony, calls the Green Brigade 'Fascists.' Hasn't he seen the EDL people on the telly? There's usually at least one Rangers top to be seen among them. There is also the Rangers link with the SDL, an association that has links with far-right groups in Europe. There is also the fact of the Orange Lodge's links with the BNP, the Ku Klux Klan and other racist groups. Also Leggat's fellow Presbyterians in South Africa brought in the Apartheid regime and carried out terrorist activities on behalf of Nazi Germany. The words pots and kettles spring to mind!

A READING FROM THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO LEGGAT, HATELEY ETC. ETC. 

And God said, 'Let us make unto ourselves a football team that it might reflect glory unto us.' And God did tell His peeppell to make unto Him a temple. And they built the temple near the river and packed it with asbestos so that it would not catch afire. And they did call it Ibrox and God turned His countenance upon it and saw that it was good. And His peeppell did attend the temple and praised His name, singing songs unto Him and singing songs of peace and love unto their fellow man.

And then Satan, that old snake, did look upon the temple with envy and said unto others, 'Let us do something to rid ourselves of this temple and the peeppell within.' And the tax collectors heard the words of Satan and said, 'Let us invent a way to cheat money from the peeppell and their temple will close.' And the tax collectors did invent new taxes that only the peeppell were to pay and did sorely afflict them. And the evil-doers in the land did ridicule the peeppell and call them cheats. And the Pharisees at Hampden did call for the temple to be destroyed.

And Pontius Regan did ask all the people in the land, 'What shall be done with them?' And the people did cry, 'Crucify them! Crucify them!' And Pontius Regan did wash his hands and Rangers was put to death.

And on the third day Rangers rose again and the prophet Green said, 'Behold, it is the same Rangers that has been resurrected.' And the peeppell did rejoice but the others in the land were sore afraid and the Pharisees at Hampden did say, 'Let them be banished from the Promised Land!' And verily Rangers were sent out from the Promised Land to wander in the wilderness. And they did wander to the land of Esseffell, where King David Longmuir did say, 'Let them reside in the city of Divthree.' And the peeppell were angry at being banished but settled in the city of Divthree in the land of Esseffell.

And the peeppell did gird their loins and prepared for war with those who had triumphed in the Promised Land and did resolve to take it back for themselves. And the prophets Green and Tray-norr did say, 'Verily, verily, I say unto ye, ye shall triumph but for a short time. The peeppell will be back.' And the Pharisees and their followers were sore afraid and did inflict punishments and curses on the peeppell. But the peeppell did not flinch, knowing that God and the prophet Leggat's old, Presbyterian granny were on their side. And the peeppell said nothing against their tormentors but merely trusted in God to deliver them back to the Promised Land.

ST DAVID TO THE RESCUE!

David Longmuir, the SFL supremo, has come up with a stupid idea that has been brought up, and dismissed, before. He seems to think that Celtic and Rangers are going to disappear to England so there should be 'Colt' teams in the Scottish League. Quite how UEFA would view a club maintaining teams in two separate leagues is moot; it'll never happen!

Time and again we've heard all this stuff about Celtic and Rangers going to England but, time and again, it has been made crystal clear that England doesn't want them. Despite all Green's posturing Rangers, and Celtic for that matter, are going nowhere. If they were to move to England it would involve some kind of league reconstruction there, since there are no teams that would be willing to give up their league place, and all that lovely money, to accommodate them. The whole idea has been a non-starter for decades and nothing really has changed.

As to the idea of Celtic and Rangers having 'B' teams in the SFL, this also is a non-starter. If they go along the proposed route of neither team being allowed promotion then it is hardly going to encourage fans to pay their hard-earned to watch a load of meaningless matches. On the other hand, if they do allow promotion then there is always the chance of one of them having two teams in Europe. And how would it work if either team used the same players in both leagues? The whole thing would be a nightmare to organise and legislate for; another reason why it is never going to happen.

Meanwhile, Loony Leggat is full of praise for Longmuir and the 'honest burghers' as he calls them, of the SFL. Apparently the whole SFL is going out of its way to help Dunfermline in its hour of need. That'll be why Raith Rovers refused to give Dunfermline a ticket allocation at their last meeting in case they didn't get their money back! But I digress. Loony draws comparisons between the altruism of the SFL and the way Rangers was 'treated' by the SPL. Needless to say, he offers no evidence of the magnanimity of the SFL. He does provide evidence of  how Rangers was treated, mainly from his own fevered imagination!

The big problem for those, like Loony Leggat, who try to fabricate the myth that Rangers were denied help is the fact that Rangers did not ask for any; instead they threatened everyone. During the Whyte regime nobody was allowed to question what he was doing; remember the demonstration outside the BBC? When things went tits-up did the Rangers faithful demonstrate outside Ibrox calling for answers or Whyte's head? No. They stood outside Ibrox and declared themselves, in song, to be up to their knees in Fenian blood. And then along came Green.

All through administration all we heard were threats. Scottish football would be dragged down along with Rangers. Rangers would remember who their enemies were, including a pub that served ice-cream and jelly! Then came liquidation and Green's demand to be admitted to the SPL. He did not turn up, cap in hand, to ask for help. He vociferously demanded that Rangers be admitted and so did the support; with dire threats of what would happen if things didn't go their way. And this was supposed to endear them to the rest of Scotland?

I've pointed out quite a few times that our football authorities, and our sports media, have been quite happy to go along with all this 'holding company' jiggery-pokery and the lie that Green bought Rangers. The result of Nimmo-Smith's investigation also shows that Rangers is still the Establishment team. It is difficult to see, then, what the likes of Loony Leggat is moaning about. I suppose, in their eyes, what should have happened is no points deduction for going into administration, Celtic being deducted points for...well, for being Celtic, Rangers being awarded last year's SPL championship and Green's team being shoe-horned into the SPL with no consultation with anyone! Maybe they could have been given a twenty-point start at the beginning of the season as well!

Rangers brought everything upon themselves; not just by mismanagement and not paying bills but by alienating everyone with their arrogance and threatening behaviour. As Loony Leggat's old Presbyterian granny would say, 'Hell mend them!'

P.S. Jabba still seems to be in hiding. What are they paying him for?

MR ANGRY AND MR HAPPY

Have you ever seen Alex Ferguson smile? Any time you see him his face is absolutely tripping him; that's if it's not red with anger. He shouts at officials, shouts at interviewers and shouts at his players. Players speak of getting the 'hair dryer' treatment and he even kicked a football boot into David Beckham's face! Likewise Walter Smith was frequently to be seen shouting at officials, spraying spittle into their faces and moaning and griping about decisions going against him and even trying to physically attack another manager.  Many football managers show anger and bad temper, even, in the case of Jim McLean, punching an interviewer in the face. But it's a man's game, we're told. These men are passionate about the game, about their respective teams and about winning. It's all part-and-parcel of the game. And then there's Neil Lennon...

In Monday's Daily Record, Keith Jackson decided to regurgitate the myth that Lennon is somehow constantly angry. "Lennon loves his work at Celtic. Of that there is no doubt at all. It’s just that you would struggle to think so sometimes, so dour is his general demeanour," Jackson claims. Strange how that 'general demeanour' is called passion when it comes to Alex Ferguson! He uses phrases like 'brooding intensity' 'on the edge' and 'his anger erupted' to show what he thinks of Lennon. And yet his evidence for this is sorely lacking. The same phrases could equally be applied to practically any football manager you care to name.

According to Jackson, however, there is one manager to whom you could not possibly apply these epithets: Ally McCoist. We are treated in Jackson's piece to the myth of the 'Cheery Chappy,' who, apparently, is too nice to lay into his players in the way that is needed. He tells us how McCoist is liable to 'smile through a crisis' and 'needs to take things...more seriously.' 

This will come as a surprise to those of us used to seeing McCoist's red, beelin' face on the sidelines whenever Rangers are playing badly, which is practically every week. There is also his display at Hampden last year when he whispered something disgusting and inflammatory in Lennon's ear. The fact that Lennon has been too much of a gentleman to tell us all what McCoist said is conveniently forgotten when any of our hacks decide to write about Lennon. 

While Jabba keeps his head down, Loony Leggat is still wriggling angrily in his strait-jacket, banging at the keyboard with a pen clenched between his teeth. His evidence this week for his theory that Scottish football is now run from Parkhead is that none of the papers had a go at Neil Lennon for losing to Juventus. According to old Loony Tunes, this is the worst aggregate score Celtic have ever had in Europe and the fact that nobody reported on this proves his insane point. 

Probably the fact that nobody bothered to write the Gospel according to Leggat is that everyone can see that Celtic performed well in Europe; certainly better than anyone expected. The first leg at Celtic Park was a disgrace, with the referee letting Juventus away with murder. The commentators could see this and even sports journalists in England and elsewhere agreed that Juventus cheated and that the referee was, at best, incompetent. Everyone could see this clearly except the supporters of Rangers!

Which brings me to the Barcelona v AC Milan match. AC Milan tried the same tactics as Juventus but did not get away with it, although Barcelona should have had a penalty in the first half. After watching the magic of Barcelona, are Rangers fans still going to tell us that they are not the force they once were? Envy is a terrible thing!

Ally auditions to play Mrs Brown

WHITHER TO SLITHER...

The question needs to be asked: Where is Jabba hiding? While Rangers bloggers rejoice in their supposed vindication and the newspapers call for the heads of Regan and Doncaster, Traynor is strangely quiet. Green's 'Director of Provocation' should be doing his triumphalist bit on Rangers' website; but no. He's keeping his head down for some strange reason.

A good propagandist should know that he can't keep his audience waiting. Goebels, Molotov and Squealer from Animal Farm would never have behaved like that! 

So what's wrong with him? The only explanation I can see is the one I offered before on here; he was expecting Nimmo-Smith's judgment to go against Rangers and he could then keep on playing the victim. His previous tirades about our footballing authorities and the Scottish press being against Rangers have been shown up for the falsehoods they were and are. Even Loony Leggat has had to resort to twisting words and quoting people out of context to keep the lie going! 

Traynor has frequently shown himself to be nothing more than a buffoon, desperately trying to guage the zeitgeist of his readers. After Rangers went into liquidation he automatically assumed that the supporters would blame Green and rally behind Bomber Brown or some consortium that might try to patch together a New Rangers. This is what he had to say on June 13th last year:

"Rangers FC as we know them are dead. It’s all over. They are about to shut down for ever but not a single person among the game’s hierarchy was open for comment.
No matter how Charles Green attempts to dress it up, a newco equals a new club. When the CVA was thrown out Rangers as we know them died.
They were closed and a newco must start from scratch although their fans will insist the history will be boxed up with the strips and balls and carried into the future with the new club."

Later, when he saw that the supporters were going along with Green's assertions that it was the same club and that our football authorities and the Scottish press were going along with this nonsense, he changed his mind. His pieces in the Daily Record for the rest of 2012 were cringeworthy to say the least! Then he got his dream job and tried to put himself at the forefront of the Big Lie.

 So that's what he's doing at the moment. He is waiting to guage what way the wind is going to blow. Will 'The Peeppell' still feel as if they are hard-done-by? Or will they revert to the old club's sense of entitlement and brag about how they ARE Scottish football? 

Traynor is absolutely hopeless as a propagandist. Rather than try to mould opinion he has to wait to see what others say and then try to claim that this has been his stance all along! A reed bending in the wind! 

Meanwhile others want to keep the anti-Catholic thing going. Under the guise of being campaigners against child abuse, the hatred pouring out of some people against the Catholic Church is disgusting. As I have said before, I have no drum to beat for the Catholic Church and anyone guilty of child abuse, or covering it up, should be jailed. The contributors to these blogs, and The Sun's forum, however, are only using child abuse as a rationalisation for their hatred, not a reason.

Considering the bigotry being displayed by many among the Rangers' support, they will be pleased to know that there is one priest that will not be making an appearance down Govan way for a very long time, if ever again. His name is Zadok.

WHERE ARE THE MEN IN WHITE COATS?

As I predicted, Big Jabba, the Goebbels of Rangers, has gone missing. The Nimmo-Smith verdict and the SFA's insistence on proving Rangers' innocence have shown that Rangers is still the Establishment team, protected by our footballing authorities and by a dark, Masonic organisation. Our media too fell over themselves to claim that Rangers had been vindicated. This, however, does not fit in with Traynor's propaganda and he is probably, at this very moment, trying desperately to find some other way to show that everybody is against Rangers. Loony Leggat has perhaps shown the way; lie and twist what is said in the papers to fit your own agenda!

Further to his fawning over the Rangers verdict and toeing the party line over Rangers being picked-on by everyone, Keith Jackson in the Daily Record decided to repeat his call for the resignation of Regan and Doncaster. In Monday's edition of this 'newspaper' he decided to have a pop at them over league reconstruction. This, it seems, is a proposition that is solely for the benefit of Celtic.

"The cash-rich champions can afford to fiddle while Rome burns as has been proved by chief executive Peter Lawwell who is one of the driving forces behind a reconstruction plan which will see his club giving up a small fortune in prize money – and yet still emerge relatively unscathed compared to the rest of his top-flight rivals...

The champions will be out of pocket by £315,000 – but with the chance to make up the difference and much, much more with a crack at the Champions League. Using the figures from this current campaign, that would leave Celtic, oh let’s see, about the guts of £20million up. A decent bit of business, I’m sure you’ll agree."

So, according to Jackson, the whole reconstruction and redistribution of wealth is a sham. Celtic stand to make millions while every other team in Scotland will suffer. The runners-up in the SPL will suffer the most, with Celtic, again, the beneficiaries.'

"And the gap between the haves (or Celtic) and the have nots (everybody else) will continue to widen, year on year. Tell me, where’s the sporting integrity in that?"

 That little piece sounds as if it is straight from the pen of Traynor and would not look out of place on one of those mad Rangers' blogs, where they see a huge conspiracy against Rangers, involving the SPL, SFA, Peter Lawwell, Cardinal O'Brien, the Vatican and the SNP! Which leads on nicely to Loony Leggat's latest pronouncements.

He has his usual swipe at Graham Spiers, for whom he has a pathological hatred. A decent psychiatrist would have a field day with Leggat's obsession and have enough material for ten PhD theses! According to Leggat, Spiers was totally humiliated on STV by Chris Graham, another psychologically unstable individual, who called a Glasgow pub an 'enemy of Rangers' because they served jelly and ice-cream!

Leggat then turns his attention to the Daily Record, continuing with his vendetta against what he imagines to be a friend of Celtic and an enemy of Rangers! Amazingly, he cites the Keith Jackson article on Monday as evidence that Jackson, and the whole Daily Record, is in the pocket of Peter Lawwell!

"For it seems, according to the Daily Record's new top man Jackson, that Celtic - as title winners - are willing to fork out an extra £315,000 to help other clubs in a bid to boost the hopes of re-organisation. Again, according to Jackson, this appears to be some sort of philanthropy which puts Peter Lawwell on a par with Andrew Carnegie." (Please note that the poor grammar is Leggat's; not mine!) 

Anyone with half a braincell to spare can see that what Leggat has written has no relation whatsoever to what Jackson actually wrote! And yet, he uses this twisting of what Jackson said to further his ridiculous agenda! So is Leggat an idiot, does he have some inability to take in what he reads, or is he cynically manipulating things for the hard-of-thinking? I'll let you decide. A more pertinent question is: will Traynor follow suit?

With an irony completely lost on himself, Leggat gives the following words of wisdom:

"Get the facts wrong and any view you offer loses its credibility."

I couldn't have put it better myself!

L-O-R-D-N-I-M-O-U-S-E

A few months ago Charles Green said that the investigation into Rangers' use of side letters was a 'Mickey Mouse event' and that he wanted nothing to do with it whatsoever and had no intention of respecting any of its decisions. Sooperally agreed:

'I stand by what the club have said, 100 per cent,' he said. 'You know it's not a decision that has been taken lightly.'

They both ranted and raved constantly about how nothing Nimmo Smith had to say would make any difference. They both also indulged in pathetic 'whatabootery;' Green claiming, with no evidence whatsoever, that other clubs in the SPL had used EBTs,  while Sooperally desperately pointed to Juninho's EBT. 'It's no' fair' they railed. 'It's a witch hunt!' Ally cried, going on and on and on about the Juninho business. He was certainly happy to drag Celtic into their sorry saga and hinted that Celtic were behind the 'witch hunt.'

It's amazing how much difference a few months make! Nimmo Smith is now one of the greatest men of this, or any other, century. Green claims that he has exonerated Rangers and seems to be now all for respecting the 'Mickey Mouse event.'

Sooper, meanwhile, has come straight out with his respect and admiration for the judge:

“It’s what Nimmo Smith does for a living. He makes decisions – and I’d have to say he’s very good at it. And I would rather take his decision as opposed to anyone else’s. We’re delighted with it.”

He also, hypocritically, decides to have a go at Celtic for voicing an opinion about the verdict. Did he expect them to be delighted with it when his only defence for Rangers misdemeanours was to point the finger Parkhead way? 

Now the Daily Record has decided to step up its campaigning on Rangers' behalf. No matter what Loony Leggat has to say on the matter, the Daily Record has constantly been behind Rangers all the way. Practically as soon as the verdict was announced Keith Jackson was calling for resignations in the SFA. (Strangely, nobody at the Daily Record has ever questioned the integrity of Ogilvie, the recipient of an EBT!) Now we've got Craig Burley suggesting, nay, demanding, that Rangers get put back in the SPL as soon as possible! Have these folk got no shame at all? 

To be honest, the best thing for all of Scottish football would be for Green to get his wish and enter the English Conference League. He and his supporters would be in for a massive shock. No longer would they be the Establishment club, no longer would the authorities bend over backwards to accommodate them, no longer would the media be on their side no matter what and no longer would they benefit from 'honest mistakes.' They would just be another football club among many and I doubt if they would progress very far without the 'special understanding' they seem to have in Scotland. And nobody in England is going to be impressed or overawed by the waving of Union Flags!

So let's all write to FIFA and UEFA and petition the Government: let Green take his team to Engurland!

THERE ARE LIES, DAMN LIES...AND THEN THERE'S NIMMO SMITH...

Like a lot of male teachers, I got roped into running football training at a school in Glasgow where I was doing supply. I wasn't too keen at first but, after a while, I got into the swing of things. Our school was involved in a league with about another eleven schools in the North-East of Glasgow. The thing that struck me was not just how seriously some of the folk running the teams took it, but how some of them would do anything to win!

Every Wednesday afternoon we would play either at home or away and usually had great fun. A team from a school in Parkhead came to visit us and we beat them 6-0. The boys in the losing team couldn't have cared less! A woman teacher had been saddled with the job of trainer and admitted that she had no idea what she was doing! The lads in the team had no idea of formation or tactics but they were just enjoying a day out. We gave them a couple of cartons of our orange juice at half-time and you would have thought we had given them the Earth! As one of the boys said to me, 'Ah don't care if wae get beat, sur. It's an' eftirnin' playin' at fitba' insteedy daein' work an' wae goat a free drink-a orange juice!' I encouraged the same spirit in my own team and so did most of the other schools. Two schools, however, could not have been any different!

One team was run by a wee teacher that obviously saw himself as the next Alex Ferguson. He encouraged his boys to moan about everything and would shout and bawl from the sidelines if any decision went against his team. When he was refereeing some of his decisions were debatable to say the least. I wasn't the only teacher that commented about him and no school liked to play against his boys.

The other school's team was run by the janitor, who also made sure that every decision went his team's way when he was refereeing. When we were due to go to his school to play, I phoned to ask what type of pitch they had. He assured me that it was a blaes pitch, 'red ash' we called it in Glasgow, so I made sure my boys were wearing moulded boots. When we got there he led both teams across the road to what was supposed to be a grass pitch. There was hardly any grass and the previous day's rain had left it looking like Paschendale! I, of course, confronted him about this. His answer was that the school's pitch was, in fact, blaes but he had never said anything about playing on it! Needless to say my team just slid and fell everywhere and was soundly thrashed!

When I moved to Edinburgh I continued to run the school's football training and encouraged girls to take part as well as boys. There was no league or anything and local schools were not interested so I was constantly on the lookout for competitions to enter. There was an interesting one taking place at Meadowbank one year and I made sure we entered both our boys' and girls' teams. It was open to any under -twelve team, not just schools, and was a knockout competition. It was also a real eye-opener.

The pack we got about the competition told us that the games would be played on astro-turf and that teams should not wear boots but trainers instead. Of course, come Saturday, there was one team, as there always is, wearing moulded boots. This was some team, not a school team, run by a wee, fat guy dressed in the regulation puffy jacket. He went mental when I said his team should be wearing trainers and shouted, 'Mouldies! Mouldies!' at me. We went to check with the organiser, who was apologetic. Yes, teams should be wearing trainers but it wasn't in the rule-book, an ad-hoc document just drawn up for the competition. He thought he could rely on the integrity of the people running the teams. The wee guy in the puffy jacket, feeling vindicated, refused to remove the football boots and, of course, his team won every game it played, mainly by stamping on the feet of the other boys!

Sunday, and the girls' competition arrived. Taking heart from his Saturday triumph, Mr Puffy-Jaikit turned up with a team of big heefers, who looked like they had been working on the oil rigs for a year or two. A quick check of the rule-book told us that the organisers had omitted to put in a maximum age, relying again on the integrity of the coaches. So, even though it was a competition for under-twelves, there was nothing anyone could do about these huge women sweeping all the girls aside. It was sickening to watch Mr Puffy-Jaikit celebrating his 'double' while his boys and 'girls' teams did a lap of honour in the tee-shirts they had won. The organisers were sickened as well and decided there and then that they would not be holding another such competition. They never did.

Quite a few parents, and kids for that matter, boldly shouted, 'Cheats!' at Mr Puffy-Jaikit and his teams. His retort was that the games had been 'won on the pitch!'

Any of this sounding familiar yet? There are always folk that will try and cheat, some that will comb the rules to exonerate them and others that are helpless to stop the cheating.

Lord Nimmo Smith was given the task of investigating whether Rangers broke the rules with their side contracts. The judgment he came up with is full of legal gobbledegook, intended to obfuscate the fact that his findings defy all logic. He found that Rangers did, indeed use side contracts and that they deliberately did not tell the SFA or the SPL about these side letters. So they were guilty but, in an amazing piece of legal jiggery-pokery, he says that they did not gain an unfair advantage. He says that he would have needed to have seen evidence of how the other teams did without these side contracts. So if he were judging the competition at Meadowbank I spoke of above, for example, he would argue that he had no evidence that the girls' team full of grown women did not constitute an unfair advantage since he could not guage how the other teams suffered from not having grown women on their teams!

Nimmo Smith has previous when it comes to overseeing a whitewash. In 1993 the police in Scotland were concerned about some judges, known as the 'Magic Circle,' who appeared to hand out softer sentences to certain people. Nimmo Smith, to the amazement of all, concluded that there was no such corruption taking place and accused the police of homophobia, even though there was evidence that some of the judges were closet homosexuals that were being blackmailed!

Nimmo Smith is also a practising Freemason, which should have excluded him from taking any part whatsoever in this investigation. Those Rangers fans, like Hateley, who talk of conspiracies would do well to remember that the appointment of Nimmos Smith is just another in a long line of ways in which our football authorities have tried to help their team.

So the triumphalist prose in our newspapers rather sticks in the throat. Green demands apologies, Sooperally demands the same, while David Murray calls it a 'witch-hunt.' Keith Jackson, in the Daily Record, calls for the resignations of Neil Doncaster and Stewart Regan. Of course, nobody in our media is interested in asking questions that need to be asked; the succulent lamb seems to be still on the menu. 

But no word from Traynor yet. He'll be cursing Nimmo Smith. His whole propaganda machine depends on Rangers being hard-done-by and this decision hardly fits his agenda. For years he told all and sundry that they were paranoid if they suggested that our football authorities were biased in favour of Rangers. He is the only one in this sorry saga that has ended up with egg on his face. We've just had further proof of the Establishment bending the rules to suit Rangers, while he desperately tries to claim that the opposite is true. What is he going to do now?