THE FILTH AND THE FURY

I haven't written anything for a week now but nothing much has changed. Bisto FC is still on its way down the crapper, Auld Pishy is still missing, the Bisto Kids are still ranting about 'State Aid' and McMurdo is still spouting bigoted filth about the Catholic Church.

I think everybody had a good laugh at the story of Nottingham Forest trying to buy Lee Wallace from Bisto for just under £1m. Bisto knocked back the offer, looking for £1.5m. Forest have instead signed Danny Fox from Southampton, refusing to be held to ransom by a third-tier club. It was good PR for Bisto and makes one wonder if that's all it was. Nottingham Forest's website has absolutely nothing on the proposed deal; it's all in the press, with, strangely, not one comment from Forest. Methinks the hand of Jack Irvine is involved.

They're desperate to make everybody think they're not in trouble but, if that were the case then what was the point of the 15% reduction in wages they asked the players to take? The Bisto Kids might boast that they're debt-free but that's not necessarily a good thing; it means that no bugger trusts them enough to extend them credit! Some folk are saying that liquidation beckons. If it does happen then the Bisto Kids should be afraid. There will be no fraudulent, backstairs deals, like that between Green and Duff and Phelps, this time. Two hedge funds have got their foot in the door and they couldn't care less about bravado, bluff and defiance about 'Savin' Raynjurz.' All they will want is the maximum return for their investors, which means selling the assets to the highest bidder. Asda, perchance?

Idiots on McMurdo's site might brag about 'Coming down the road' and that Celtic should be afraid. The reality is, however, that the only ones 'Coming down the road' are HMRC. As a lot of people are now pointing out, Bisto FC is effectively a phoenix company and could actually be liable for the tax frauds of Rangers. Interesting times ahead.

The only crumb of comfort the Bisto Kids have is the desperate hope that the EC will dig up something on Celtic. The attempts of dinosaur jockey Gregory Campbell to get the Treasury to look into Celtic's dealings with the Co-Op Bank took a hammering when he received the answer that loans are a matter between the two companies concerned and nothing whatsoever to do with the government. When last seen Campbell was back in Derry, kicking hell out of his pet velociraptor.

So their only hope is the land deals that they claim were stitched up between Glasgow City Council and Celtic. Even then they can't get things right; they were going on about GCC selling the land in Lennoxtown to Celtic, even though it was actually Greater Glasgow Health Board. There is also the small matter that all land was independently valued, in some cases by a government agent. That doesn't stop their whining, though. Apparently the whole country has been taken over by Catholics. It's a conspiracy I tells ya!

This is a recurring theme on McMurdo's blog, where the man himself decides to talk about the initial findings of the Historical Institutional Abuse inquiry in Northern Ireland. If the stories about the Sisters of Nazareth's childrens homes are even partly true then condemnation is in order. The abuse suffered by the children reads like something out of a horror story. The fact is, however, that the HIA inquiry is not, as McMurdo and his cohorts seem to think, an investigation into the Catholic Church. They will be looking at all instances of abuse, including the notorious Kincora Boys' Home. If they discover the truth about what went on there, do you think McMurdo will have a blog recounting the abuse and condemning it? Somehow I doubt it. Anyone that goes on his blog to argue that other organisations have been, and are, involved in child abuse, gets their post deleted and are accused of 'Whatabootery.'

The bigots that regularly post on McMurdo's blog take the opportunity to rant and rave about how evil the Catholic Church is. They quote Reformers like Calvin and Knox, as if that proves anything. Knox would be apoplectic if he could see his church today, with women ministers and same-sex marriages. It is also unclear whether he would have the nerve to go on about child abuse, given his penchant for teenage girls. Anyway, one clown quotes different popes going on about a 'satanic influence' in the church. What this is supposed to prove I don't know. If the Pope was the Antichrist then he'd hardly go about complaining about satanic influences, would he?

Others claim that all the child abuse in the world can be laid at the door of the Vatican, while others go further and say that all the abusers in the Catholic Church worldwide are Irish! Do you detect some kind of theme here? The fact is that child abuse is endemic throughout the world and only an absolute bigot would try to use it as a stick with which to beat one race of people or one religion. The same thing happens elsewhere. In England a paedophile ring that included Muslims is often cited as proof positive of how evil Islam is. Like any bigot their hatred comes first and then they look for rationalisations. Such bigoted assertions have been around for centuries. Google the words 'blood libel' and you'll see what I mean.

One nutcase bangs on about how there should be a King James Bible in every school and that children should be taught about the 'heroes' of the Reformation and what Protestantism is all about. That'll be in the non-denominational schools that they all claim to want their children to attend, eh? Teaching about Protestantism, moreover, would cause more problems than it solved. How do you explain to children that they should behave and live good lives when God has already decided who's going to Heaven and who's going to Hell? And what about Calvin's assertion that, out of the billions that have inhabited or will inhabit the Earth, only 144,000 are going to be saved? I think most children would be able to work out that the odds of being saved are slim; so what's the point? And if God has already saved them, then why should they worry? They can go on the rampage secure in the knowledge that their thieving, vandalism and even murder is okay in God's eyes. Mind you, that sounds like your average Bisto Kid at present!

Meanwhile Leggat is still missing. Either he's ill, dead or in the mother and father of all huffs. Perhaps Phil Mac Whatsit could get onto his NUJ cronies to check if the auld alky's still breathing. Then again, he got kicked out of the NUJ, didn't he? Maybe a wee post on the Vanguard Bears website would not go amiss. I'm sure one of them would go and check that he hasn't done himself a mischief.

WHERE'S LEGGAT?

(HE'S THERE SOMEWHERE - HONEST!)

THE REEK OF DESPERATION

McMurdo and his merry band of followers were all slapping each other's backs yesterday because, finally, a story about Celtic's alleged financial chicanery has appeared in printed form. They've been desperate for this to happen for ages so it's like all their birthdays have come at once. Unfortunately, said article does not appear in any newspaper but in Private Eye, the rather snooty satirical magazine, edited by the bald, unfunny one on Have I Got News For You. Is that the best they can do? Still, I suppose they need their petty triumphs the way things are at the moment.

More than a few of them ask the question as to why nobody in the Scottish media is picking up on this story. I would ask more than that; why is none of the right-wing press in England running it? I'm sure the Daily Mail would be more than willing to take a break from blaming immigrants for everything from global warming to the common cold to run a story that paints Labour and the Co-Op bank in a bad light. The fact that they are not even mentioning it speaks volumes. All these papers have teams of lawyers advising them on the truth, or otherwise, of every story. I would imagine that's what's happened in this case. What other explanation can there possibly be? The idea that the Bisto Kids have of Peter Lawwell having all the media in his pocket is risible at best. Do they honestly think all the media in Britain are running scared of Celtic?

Meanwhile, back at Bisto FC, The South African crook has shoved his nose in, saying that they need to spend more on the team to challenge Celtic. Even Sooperally has come out with this one. They are absolutely obsessed with Celtic. None of them seem able to sleep at night with the knowledge that Celtic are going to be champions for the foreseeable future. They don't care if their club is run into the ground again, as long as they stop Celtic getting ten in a row. Just wait until you see how all the Bisto Kids turn on the chairman, Mr Blobby, when he's not throwing money at the team. They can't seem to accept what's happened and think they have a divine right to be on top, no matter what.

And now comes news of Sooperally's attempts to hide the extent of his salary, because it wouldn't look good. Apparently he refused point-blank to take a pay cut but wanted his salary kept out of the IPO documents. At one point he wanted his salary stated as £200k, with the rest made up in bonuses. He did take a slight reduction, for a few months, and then demanded his pay be backdated at the proper level! I think even he knows where this is all heading and wants to rake in as much as he can before the gravy train gets derailed.

I think I've touched before on the seeming desperation of McMurdo and others to hold onto the Union at all costs. Some of them have even made veiled threats of violence if we all vote for independence in September. So what are they all afraid of?

Some of them try to use economic arguments, which are half-baked at best. Their opinion seems to be that we rely totally on England and will all starve to death if we break away. Without the block grant from Westminster, they claim, we will have no money. They don't seem to understand that we would be keeping our own tax money and wouldn't need handouts. Then again, I doubt if they really believe this nonsense.

They'll lose their queen, they say. That's a load of rubbish as well. The German family that currently 'reigns over us' got the job because of their descent from the Stuarts/Stewarts, the Scottish royal family. They are actually monarchs of Scotland first, England second. And the fact that they became monarchs in Scotland before Scotland joined any Union means that it is a totally separate issue from Scottish independence. So that scare story goes nowhere either.

Others claim to want out of the EU. It looks highly possible, maybe even probable, that England will pull out eventually, dragging us out with them. If Scotland became independent then we would remain in Europe. They all profess to be mortified at this; they want nothing to do with Europe and hate the whole concept of the European Union. It didn't stop them from sending e-mails, letters and even Gregory Campbell to the European Commission with wee tales about Celtic, though, did it?

So what's the real story as to why they're so desperate for a 'No' vote? The fact is that it comes from Bigotry HQ in Belfast. The vast majority of English people couldn't give a gorilla's fart about the Ulster Loyalists and would be perfectly happy to wash their hands of the whole affair. They see it as an embarrassing leftover of bygone, imperial days. Only in Scotland do you get the drums and fifes out in support and only in Scotland do you get people that actually care.

The Ulster Unionists rely on their 'brothers' in Scotland as a link to the United Kingdom. If Scotland were to become independent then Ulster would have no official tie to Scotland and only be connected to the largest part of the United Kingdom, which wishes the Ulster Unionists would just disappear. This is the great fear. What would happen to them then? That is why their supporters in Scotland are so terrified of a 'Yes' vote, although you will never hear any of them admit to the real reason for their fear.

And finally, Lee McCulloch came out with one of the most stupid comments ever. He claimed that the standard of football in the Premier League is no better than that in Division 1! Of course, Bisto FC has struggled to beat the part-timers in that league, relying on sneaking a goal or two near the end of the match when their opponents are tired out after doing a day's work. Failing that, the referee usually gives Bisto a penalty or reduces the other team to ten men. Since everybody connected with Bisto FC can't handle the truth of their situation and think they're on a par with the best Europe has to offer, it stands to reason, as far as they're concerned, that the opposition they face every week must be fantastic teams. The reality, however, is rather more prosaic: Bisto FC is shite!

The Pish-Stained Alky

(With apologies to Matt McGinn)

Auld Leggat was greetin' when he went to the meetin'
He shouldnae have gone there at aw.
'Cos the proxies made sure that the board was secure
An' Leggat he then shot the craw.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

His blog disappeared and The Peeppell all feared
That he might just have done himself in
For the ones that he courted and praised and supported
Had failed despite all his spin.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

Everyone that did hear, and even Graham Spiers
They all thought it was such a shame.
The Peeppell assented and then they consented
To give Peter Lawwell the blame.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

They told Panorama and even Obama
To see if they'd get something done.
The story unfurled to the rest of the world
And it hit the front page of The Sun.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

In Govan and Partick and even the Arctic
They searched o'er every scrap of ground.
They looked far and wide, even dredged up the Clyde.
But Leggat just couldn't be found.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

And then oot past Milngavie some folk they did spy
A leg stickin' ooty a skip.
The terrible smell made the people no' well
And they had to go hame for a kip.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

The polis were called and from the skip hauled
A body all covered in shit.
There was sick every place, even over the face
So they couldnae identify it.

Have you seen an auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
Have you seen an auld alky wi' pish-stained troosers?

They jumped with a start when the man did a fart
And proved that he was still alive.
They cleaned aw the puke, and had a good look
And then gave each other high fives.

For it was the auld alky, auld alky, auld alky
For it was the auld alky wi' the pish-stained troosers!

 

POINTS

A further insight into the mindset of your average Bisto Kid came from McMurdo a couple of days ago. I already wrote here about his bigoted blog concerning child abuse in the Catholic Church but he decided to go one better. Somebody tried to post expressing the same concerns as me and, of course, his post was not allowed. He tried again and this time got through:

"Bill.. yesterday I offered my views on your blog. There was nothing abusive or offensive in the post so I am at a loss as to why you ignored my post. i think the feral rantings of regulars like vampers need to be challenged at least now & then. The Northern Irish child abuse scandal would suggest that the Catholic church is not the only Christian institution protecting child abusers. Surely you agree it is entirely reasonable to point out that there is a huge investigation underway?"

Now read McMurdo's reply:

"What investigation?

Your post was refused because you are trying to score points

I see no need to “balance out” the topical matter of RC clergy abuse by digging in to history to find instances of abuse by a non-Catholic

If you do, start your own blog"

Talk about hypocrisy! McMurdo and his ilk do nothing but shed crocodile tears, professing to only be concerned about the children, when it's plain to see that it's nothing but bigotry and hatred, pure and simple. Notice the reticence to talk about child abuse in other areas and the disingenuous way he pretends to know nothing about the investigation in Northern Ireland. It is absolutely disgusting the way these folk use child abuse as a focus for their bigotry. And if anyone is constantly trying to 'score points' it is these creatures.

Speaking of points, there is a debate going on about how many points Bisto FC should be docked if they go into administration. Since they keep harping on that it's the 'same club' then they would be happy to be docked 25 points, instead of a lower penalty for a first time. The argument, however, is moot. It's obvious what the excuses will be: 'The club never went into liquidation, it was the company. This is a different company so it's the first insolvency event.' The SPFL rule on the matter is clear:
 
E5 Where a Club, whether owned and operated by the same or a different Member, suffers or is subject to an Insolvency Event which results in a deduction of points in terms of these Rules and within 5 years of the date of such Insolvency Event suffers or is subject to a further Insolvency Event which is not part of the same Insolvency Process as the Insolvency Event then suffered, the points deduction applicable in terms of Rules E1 in respect of that second or further Insolvency Event, shall be 25 points with the 15 points in Rules E2 and E3 being 25 Points.

But this is Ibrox we're talking about, The Peeppell and all that. Do you honestly think this rule will apply to them? Then again, other folk could be right and they're trying desperately to have a huge points difference at the top of Division 1 so they can then go into administration and still get promoted. Whatever happens it'll all be to the benefit of Bisto FC.

It wouldn't be the first time the rules were bent to help the team at Ibrox and, in one case, the rule was swept away altogether. SFL rules were quite categorical about the number of over-21 professionals you could have in your squad. I would imagine that this was in the spirit of competition and making sure that certain teams could not just spend their way to success. The new SPFL did away with this rule and now there is no limit at all to how many over-21 professionals you can have. Can anyone think of any other club in Scotland that benefits from this rule change apart from Bisto FC? No, me neither.

Sooperally, meanwhile, amazingly tries to justify his players spending the day at a four-star hotel before the match against Forfar. He says they are professionals and should be treated like kings. He also whines that the Forfar team also went for a meal. No doubt they did - at the local chippy. This is the big problem at Bisto FC; they just can't seem to get their head around the fact that they are not a big club. The big club died and this Frankenstein's Monster, made up of the scraps of Rangers, is a small-time operation, with no credit lines and no big investment. They try to behave, however, as if they're still playing with the big boys and spend accordingly. No wonder all the cash is disappearing fast.

A further laugh is provided with the news that Barry Ferguson is to be made player-manager at Blackpool. Who the hell thought that would be a good idea? You can just hear the team talk:

"Mind noo, 'n 'at, if embdy's playin' better than you then ye jist kick thum wan. An' make sure ye faw ower if sumdy so much iz coughs. The referees ur aw oan oor side 'n 'at. Any questions? Aye, you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

The Daily Record currently seems to be running a campaign to get the season ticket money rolling in at Ibrox. The sickening articles about it not being possible for Bisto to go into administration go hand-in-hand with sob stories about how hard things have been for poor Sooperally. Just such an article appears today, penned by somebody called David McCarthy. He plays both sides of the Bisto card: Neil Lennon is wasting his time in an uncompetitive league, while Sooperally has worked miracles with everything he's had to contend with. Aye, it would bring a tear to a glass eye, so it would. How they can make out that a manager on the best part of a million quid, with a squad of fifty-odd players to play against plumbers and social-workers can be deemed hard-done-by is beyond me.

Tam Cowan plays with fire again when he's describing a trip to the circus. He says, "Would it seem like an anti-climax after two years of following the Rangers saga?" Jesus Christ, Tam! Think of your postman. The poor man must shit himself every time he reads a comment like that.

Ally wonders if Wallace noticed those extra steak-bakes on the hotel bill.

NODS, FRAUDS, WADS AND BIGOTED SODS

Sooperally seems determined to dig himself into a deeper and deeper hole. Coming hot on the heels of his assertions that he doesn't know what's going on in the board room he now claims that there is conflict among the directors. He says that not everyone is pulling in the same direction, according to the article in today's Daily Record. In a direct quote he says, “The chief executive is aware that some of the problems are there because some of the decisions were made for the short term, maybe a year ago.” The interviewer then asked if the decisions were made for other people's benefit, Sooper nodded.

As Chick Young will tell you, the folk that work at Ibrox have previous for agreeing with a nod and then denying that the nod actually meant anything. It shows, however, that, despite Mr Blobby's protestations to the contrary, Bisto FC are hurtling towards financial meltdown. Even Sooper himself talks of "going down a similar path."

So what's going on? Well, given all the secrecy surrounding investors, apart from the two hedge-fund operators, it's difficult to reach a definitive answer. Even the position of the Krays is not altogether clear. We heard throughout last year how they had the option on Hughie Green's shares and that they would be buying them in December, the earliest date when Hughie could sell. There's still, however, been no sign of the readies being handed over and it looks like the Krays are only in power through using the proxy of Green and others. No doubt, though, they'll be taking a hefty salary in the process.

The 'Scottish' Daily Express ran a story on Friday about how the Krays are going to plough £20m into Bisto. This, however, seems to depend on the sale of their bus company, for which they are looking for 100 million big ones. As far as I know this bus company doesn't operate anywhere outside of Inverclyde, which, if a reasonably large area, is hardly on the scale of Greater Glasgow. Anyway, the article, contrary to the impression given in the headline, admits that the Krays are 'considering investing massively' in Bisto. I would imagine that all this refers to is Green's shares and will mean no extra cash for Bisto, merely another chateau for Hughie.

Speaking of the Krays, I had to laugh at the massive double standards displayed in the Daily Record yesterday. A guy called Christopher Ireland, whose firm Scotboys had a sponsorhip deal with ICT, went to jail for a year in 2012 for fraud. His firm is a  booking agency for male strippers, which is neither here not there these days. The Daily Record couldn't wait to get in touch with ICT to tell them that one of their sponsors was a convicted fraudster, with the result that his firm no longer is a sponsor and its advert has been removed from the ICT website. The Daily Record is rather smug and self-satisfied about the whole thing.

Contrast this with the way the Daily Record has treated Sandy Easdale, who was imprisoned for fraud in 1997. In numerous pieces the DR has gone out of its way to say that he has 'done his time' has 'repaid his debt to society' and the conviction has no bearing on his being a director at Ibrox. Surely the same could be said about Christopher Ireland? It seems, as always, that there's one rule when it comes to Ibrox and another for everybody else. Or perhaps they just didn't like the sound of his surname!

Another worrying aspect of this is that it seems those working at the DR have nothing better to do than trawl websites looking for people to investigate. All the current trouble at Bisto FC is being handled with kid gloves, with nothing but anodyne questions being asked, while they desperately try to deflect attention away. The Bisto Kids would reply that there is no big deal being made about the 'land deals' scandal at Celtic. The reason why this is not being covered is simple; they all know it's a load of pish!

One or two desperate Bisto Kids still try to bring this subject up on newspaper forums but I think they all know it's dead in the water. Stand by for all the keich about 'cover-ups' and 'Vatican-led conspiracies.' Whenever any of them brings up the subject I always ask the same question, which none of them is able to answer. If the 'evidence' dug up by this guy in Belfast is so damning and conclusive then why didn't he hand it over to the police? Why did he have to hide behind the parliamentary privilege of Gregory Campbell? It only proves that his 'evidence' adds up to the grand total of nothing much!

McMurdo decides to concentrate on a much bigger problem; that of child abuse. Of course, such a subject is far more important than the fate of any football club but, to McMurdo and his fellow bigots, they are inextricably linked. His blog is not about child abuse per se, merely about child abuse in the Catholic Church, as part of a bigoted, sectarian agenda.

I used to think that child abusers were more to be pitied than condemned; sick individuals that were abused themselves as children and grew up with a warped sense of sexuality. I no longer think that. When studying history I discovered how prevalent such abuse was in Victorian times and beyond. It was organised and the pretence was that it didn't happen or, if it did, the children were willing participants. Even Freud's writings are now seen as attempting to justify these abuses.

In modern times stories are emerging of organised child prostitution taking place in countries where UN peacekeeping forces have been operating. The powers-that-be either turn a blind eye or are involved themselves. It is a worldwide problem that nobody wants to tackle and that nobody wants to admit even exists.

In Britain we are now learning about cover-ups at the highest level. Cyril Smith has now been shown to be a predatory paedophile, whose crimes were covered up by the establishment. Journalists etc were warned off by the police and the security services whenever they got close to the truth. Stories about Edward Heath, and other top politicians are everywhere but the protection still goes on. The Elm Guest House, where, allegedly, a top-level paedophile ring operated in the 1980s, seems to be a no-go area and investigators find themselves up against a brick wall of silence and collusion. Who is maintaining this silence and why? How high does the collusion and involvement go?

Various children's homes, in England, Northern Ireland and Jersey were used as recruiting grounds for children to be abused. The stories coming to light about Jimmy Savile and Cyril Smith using children's homes and hospitals as their own private brothels are sickening but also show that a network must have been in operation to organise this and also to cover it up. At the moment a few erstwhile celebrities are being thrown to the wolves but will the investigators be allowed to go further and expose everyone involved?

Ian Paisley has admited that he was told what was going on at Kincora Boys' Home a long time ago, but chose not to act. Senior police officers in Northern Ireland have pre-empted any full-scale inquiry by saying that any names supplied by the ones already in prison would be 'mischief-making' on their part. Files concerning the abuse at the home have mysteriously disappeared, while potential whistleblowers have been conveniently shot dead by 'Republicans.' There are stories of Edward Heath visiting Kincora as well and even Lord Mountbatten being involved. The latter is particularly worrying, given the friendship between Jimmy Savile and members of the Royal Family.

One poster on McMurdo's blog asks why no Catholic priests have been arrested. The answer is simple if you look at the facts. One of the few people arrested in connection with the abuse at the Elm Guest House happened to be a Catholic priest. This suggests to me that Catholic priests that are involved in paedophilia are not involved qua Catholic priests but as part of a wider-scale organised abuse of children. It is safe to say that very few are arrested in case they make a deal and expose others involved in this scandal.

Organised child abuse seems to be prevalent both nationally and internationally and the perpetrators are of all races, creeds, colours and political persuasions. Accepting this might go some way to encouraging some proper investigation into the problem. McMurdo's and the rest of the bigots' insistence on seeing it as purely a problem in the Catholic Church only serves to cover up and perpetuate the real problem. They say they act only in concern for the children, which is highly debatable. I'm sure Alan Brazil and the other victims of Jim Torbett are heartened by the rousing choruses of 'Who shagged all the boys' that normally emanate from the 'caring' Bisto Kids.

Apologies for getting all serious again. In closing, might I suggest a way out for Sooperally and the Bisto Board? They all say that Rangers were exonerated and found 'not guilty' by Lord Nimmo Smith. Surely this means, then, that they were quite entitled to use EBTs and the dual-contract system. Perhaps they could save a bit of cash by introducing the same scheme at Bisto FC. Just a thought.

"Well, of course the playurs hiv my full support. Abslootly. An' eh, whatsizname, aye, Graham Wallace hiz my full support. Abslootly. An' Ah think sumbdy's causin' trouble in the board room, but they hiv my full support. Cutbacks? Sellin' off playurs? Naw, Ah'm no' doin' it. But they hiv my full support. Abslootly. Noo, is Greggs open oan a Sunday?"

SLASHES, NASHES, SASHES AND GNASHES

Great hilarity ensues again with the news that the Bisto players were asked to take a 15% pay cut. Of course, Sooperally couldn't break the news himself, leaving McCulloch to do the dirty work. He probably could face them; after all, his own pay cut still leaves him with the best part of half-a-million quid a year. The players, quite understandably, said no.

Now Mr Blobby, the Bisto chairman, is trying to claim that they weren't asking the players to take a pay cut at all; it was merely a suggestion that was being mooted. There is no danger of administration, he says. Of course there isn't; not yet anyway. The two hedge-fund operators that have got their claws in will want their pound of flesh first. You've got to laugh at Mr Blobby, wanting to slash costs when they've just hired another snout for the trough, in the shape of 'Financial Guru' Philip Nash.

So what are they going to do now? If the players won't take a pay cut then Bisto is going to have to offload some of them, for free probably. The main thing is to get them off the payroll. Then we come to next season's Championship campaign. Is a depleted Bisto FC going to be able to manage? After all, they won't be playing against teachers, policemen and social workers any more. Season books are going to have to jump substantially in price but will the Bisto Kids be willing to pay full whack to watch a struggling team?

Remember why Sooperally wanted to sign all those players in the first place? He hardly needed them to win the lower leagues but that wasn't why he signed them. The real reason was, as he said himself, to build up a team to stop Celtic winning 10 in a row. That's all that matters to Sooper and The Peeppell; they're willing to bankrupt their club as long as they stop the enemy setting a new record. There is also the fear that Celtic might surpass Rangers' 'world record' 54 titles. That's what keeps all the Bisto Kids, including Ally, awake at night and they'll do anything to stop it happening. The old club went into liquidation trying to surpass Celtic and the new one looks like going the same way in a desperate attempt to stop Celtic putting the dead club into the shade. It looks like they never learn.

The Daily Record, meanwhile, continues with its desperate attempts to lay the groundwork for Bisto getting help. It runs a poll today asking 'Are Scotland's young footballers in danger of burning out?' They're trying to make the case for young players to be rested. How this is going to achieved they don't say but it would certainly involve bending the rules, if not breaking them completely. The emphasis in the article is all on Dundee Utd and Hearts but we all know where this is going. If, as seems likely, Bisto has to offload its high-earners then it will be left with its younger players to hold the fort. The help that the DR is bleating about is really, as is always the case, help for Bisto FC. It's so easy to see through their agenda!

Further to the stuff I was saying yesterday about the Ku Klux Klan, McMurdo has decided to throw away his mask of respectability and get straight down to the bigoted agenda. Apparently, Catholics have wormed their way into positions of power and are effectively running the country according to the dictates of the Vatican. He says that the PUL (Protestant, Unionist and Loyalist) community is being demonised. Unfortunately he equates this PUL community with the Protestant community at large when, in reality, it is actually only the Orange Order that comes under this heading.

He, like a lot of those that post on his blog, cannot see the essential difference between a Protestant and an Orangeman. For one thing, I'd be entirely welcome at any Protestant service, with the possible exception of those of the Wee Frees. I've been to many Church of Scotland services, as a child when in the Boys' Brigade and as an adult when going to services with the school or attending the weddings of friends and family. I have never been made anything but welcome. Would I be as welcome at a meeting of the local Orange Lodge?

Two occasions stick out in my mind of my years as a teacher. The first is when my class was studying places of worship. We visited different churches, where we were made extremely welcome. We were going to visit a mosque, but our visit had been organised for the middle of September 2001 and, understandably, many parents were too scared to send their children after the events of the 11th. We did, however, visit a Catholic church. Again, we were made welcome and the children had a great time, tasting the communion wafers, dipping their hands in the holy water and dressing up in the altar servers' outfits. One child's parents actually have a picture of their daughter dressed in this outfit up on their wall. Only one pupil did not attend that day. No prizes for guessing which organisation his father belonged to!

The other occasion was when each class was to sing a carol at the Christmas service. My class was learning about the Romans so I taught them Adeste Fideles. (They liked it so much that they even sang it on the bus later that year on our summer trip!) The minister thought it was great and congratulated the children on their hard work and was impressed when they were able to translate it for him exactly. Can you imagine how that would have gone down at an Orange Christmas party?

The thing is that the majority of Protestants in this country are happy enough getting on with their lives, and their worship if they attend church, and don't really care what anyone else is doing. Why should they? Nobody is posing any threat to them. The way McMurdo bangs on you'd think that believing in Justification by Faith Alone had been outlawed and that government ministers turn up at the General Assembly every year to tell them which motions they can and can't pass.

The real fact is that what McMurdo and his disciples are bemoaning is not the loss of Protestantism in this country but the Protestant Ascendancy. The Church of Scotland has apologised for its racist comments and behaviour of the past but the Orangemen can't stand that. To them even one Catholic in the government, or on the council or running a business is one Catholic too many. Like the Ku Klux Klan, they see a fairer society as being a huge conspiracy by their enemies to undermine their superiority.

A lot of them yesterday were discussing the possibility of Protestants standing for election qua Protestants. No decent member of any Protestant faith would have any time for this so, effectively, what they are proposing is the Orange Order fielding political candidates to look after its own. Or maybe they want to resurrect the old racist and sectarian Scottish Protestant League, which turned down overtures from Oswald Mosley because he was not bigoted enough!

In keeping with the KKK theme, McMurdo, rather unfortunately, decides to play the victim card in the shape of saying that all Protestants will have to wear yellow stars soon. Of course, this panders to the usual element among the Orangemen, who point to Adolf Hitler being brough up a Catholic to somehow prove that the whole Nazi and Fascist phenomenon was a product of the Catholic Church. This, of course, ignores the millions of Frenchmen and Poles, Catholics all, who suffered under the Nazis. Cetainly there were Catholics, like the Croatians, the Italians and the Spanish, who embraced the ideologies of Nazism and Fascism. Equally, however, the Lutheran Church in Germany was complicit and the Dutch Presbyterians in South Africa ran a terrorist campaign in support of the Nazis. And it was the British and American governments that helped many leading Nazis to escape capture.

The leader of the Scottish Protestant League, moreover, became a fervent supporter of the Nazis during the war and was under the constant surveillance of the security services. Even after the war he never wavered from his beliefs and was a Holocaust denier until his dying day. Speaking of Holocaust deniers, McMurdo has a link to one, Alistair McConnachie, on his blog.

The fact is that the majority of people in Scotland don't care which, if any, church you attend. We all have freedom of choice these days and can go and do the shopping, go to the beach with the kids or even go to the pub on a Sunday if we so wish. McMurdo and his fellow bigots would like to see this freedom disappear. They want a return to the totalitarianism of the days when the Church of Scotland was the Established Church and poked its nose into every aspect of people's lives. McMurdo says that Protestantism stands for freedom. Maybe it does but what he is advocating is not Protestantism; it's a one-party, Orange state where you'll do what you're told or suffer the consequences. The Dead Kennedys' song 'Holiday In Cambodia' springs to mind!

Anyway, enough of all this seriousness. Let's finish with a joke. The problem is I can't remember if I posted this one before. I'm sure somebody will let me know.

How many Bisto Kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. And thousands more to swear it's the same bulb!

The Pope takes time out from organising the agenda for this year's General Assembly of the Church of Scotland to say,

"It's gonny be ten in a row!"

GATHERING OF THE KLANS

I noticed somebody, somewhere saying the other day that a large chunk of Bisto shares had changed hands. Today the Daily Record announced that the 2.2m shares were 'snapped up' by Damille Investments Ltd, a Guernsey-based hedge fund. The shares were apparently bought from Richard Hughes of Zeus Capital for the princely sum of 24p a share. Since Hughes got his shares at 1p each he has made a good half-million quid profit. The words rats, sinking and ship come to mind.

As if it is not worrying enough for the Bisto Kids that another hedge fund has joined the party, this one has an especially grim story to tell. Damille Investments applied to the London Stock Exchange in September 2013 to be delisted. This means that they are not trading shares anymore. The company is preparing to go into voluntary liquidation quite soon. It's quite safe to assume, therefore, that this company will be looking for a quick return on its investment and will be selling up sooner rather than later. It certainly doesn't augur well for Bisto FC if this is the standard of investment they are attracting.

Speaking of investment, there's still no word about the Krays handing over the readies for Chateau Green's shares yet. That was supposed to happen in December, the earliest date that Green could sell his holding. What's the delay? The Krays have made a minimal investment in Bisto FC, operating with the proxy of major shareholders, despite noises made in certain quarters about them being major players. The reality is that Green still owns these shares and, until there is news to the contrary, will continue to own them. Perhaps he's waiting for the price to go up again. He might have a long wait.

Meanwhile the propaganda machine is in full flow, telling us all how we need a strong 'Rangers,' even if it is the Frankenstein's Monster that is playing at Ibrox now. Stewart Reagan, of the SFA, has called on Mr Blobby, the Bisto chairman, to 'fix' his club so it can progress to the Premier League. Strangely, Reagan hasn't called for a strong Hearts, or any other club for that matter. It seems they're still trying to peddle the myth that Scottish football will go down the drain without the Govanites.

Our media is continually shoving the idea down our throats that the Premier League is uncompetitive. The only answer they can come up with is to have Bisto challenging Celtic. Given the fact that the new club is already living well outside its means, it's difficult to see how this is going to be achieved without some kind of helping hand. Don't be fooled by all the guff about needing to help Hearts; read between the lines and you'll see that they really want to prepare the ground for handing out massive aid to Bisto FC.

What form this aid might take is difficult to say, but if they were to go back to Plan A and fast-track Bisto into the Premier League then it would go some way towards helping them to get more investment and possible credit. Neil Doncaster said in an interview on STV at Hogmanay that there would be no jiggling with the leagues and promotion would only be on merit. Our Fourth Estate is gradually trying to chip away at this, however, with the interviewer claiming that a club with a huge following deserves to be in the top tier. This is a constant theme in our media; 'Rangers' ended up in the fourth tier due to 'blood lust,' the SFA and SPFL should be there to help clubs and a strong 'Rangers' is essential for the good of Scottish football. Stand by for these calls becoming more shrill as the season progresses.

If, as seems likely, Bisto FC goes into administration, or even liquidation, what will happen then? If the rules are bent once again then you will have the ridiculous situation in Scottish football that clubs can spend, spend, spend without fear of having to pay anything back. All that any club need do is liquidate and then start again as the 'same club.' This, of course, will result in no bank or business being willing to extend credit to any football club in Scotland. This is what they think Scottish football needs?

I need to share a couple of posts that were made on Phil Mac Whatsit's blog. One sums up the situation perfectly, the other does it succinctly and is hilarious to boot. They are by 'greenmaestro' and 'robertm2803.' You can read them here: http://www.philmacgiollabhain.ie/no-special-treatment-for-sevco/#more-4323 I did try to copy and paste these posts but could not. They're easy enough to find, though.

I was bored the other night and started having a look round the internet. You can end up a long way from where you started when you start clicking on links. Anyway, I found this stuff on a website for the Loyal Knighs of the Ku Klux Klan.

"We do not hate any group of people. However, we do hate some things that certain groups are doing to our race and Nation.
But rather than focus on hate; we try to focus on the love of our race. Love for our God and Country. Our goal is to help restore America to a White Christian nation founded on God's word.
We are not evil; hateful people as our enemies would have you believe.
We are common white people from all walks of life who have recognized the problems that our race is facing. We have chosen to stand and fight for those things that we hold dear to our people.
They crept right into our Government and changed its whole out look on the world.
That is why our government continues to pass Anti-White laws such as the Hate Crime Bills. Where if a white gets jumped by members of another race nothing happens most of the time charges are not even filled. But let a white get into a fight with a member of another race even if it is not the white persons fault. You will get charged with Racial Intimidation or another Hate Crime Bill."

If all that sounds familiar it's because it's the usual guff you hear from the Orange Order and read on McMurdo's website. No wonder Phil Mac Whatsit calls them 'The Klan'! Oh, and there was one other statement I thought was interesting. This was part of a paragraph where they were saying how everyone should stay where they belong.

"The White Race used to have Europe and the U.S. now we have no white homelands to call our own"

So what about the Native Americans, or the Indians as they used to be called? They just make up this stuff as they go along. It also reminded me of the ridiculous guff you get from the bigots in this country, where they call for 'timmigrants' to go back to their own country. Meanwhile, they see Ulster as their 'wee country' even though they were immigrants foisted on the indigenous population. It seems they want it all ways. And it just goes to show that there is no essential difference between a white, pointy-headed hood and an orange sash! Have a look at some of the comments here if you don't believe me: http://billmcmurdo.wordpress.com/2014/01/14/the-myth-of-sectarianism/

'And I can state categorically that the SFA is not here to help one club over another. Fairness and integrity are all we strive for. Wait. What's that, Skippy? Bisto FC are nearing administration? Well, let me be quite clear, Scottish football cannot survive without a strong Bisto FC. We need competitiveness etc etc etc ad nauseum.'

YES, WE HAVE NO SECTARIANS

McMurdo, in his blog today, persists in his crusade to try to somehow prove that sectarianism doesn't exist. In a tortuous piece he tries, with what he thinks is logic, to show that the fault lies with the victim and not the perpetrator. His ridiculous assertion that if the victim of abuse is not religious then the abuse is non-existant is offensive in itself. What really counts is the intention of the abuser. For example, if I were to call the owner of my local shop 'a Paki' then, according to McMurdo's logic, if the guy happens to be Indian then he has no right to feel offended and no offence has been commited. It really is a nonsensical argument.

He also makes the usual mistake, whether deliberate or intentional, of trying to see it as a Catholic/Protestant divide and then arguing that it doesn't exist. This, of course, is correct. Most Protestants have moved on from the conflicts of centuries ago and nowadays couldn't care less what church, if any, other people go to. The fly in the ointment is the Orange Order, which persists in its sectarian and racist beliefs even in this day and age. Protestants and Protenstantism can be taken right out of the equation, the real problem is between Catholics and Orangemen. It's exactly like American blacks and the Ku Klux Klan; that's not a conflict between blacks and whites.

According to McMurdo, David Limond is an atheist so cannot possibly be a sectarian bigot. In that case, why is he not, as a Bisto supporter, just slagging off Celtic and Celtic supporters? Why the need for the anti-Catholic and anti-Irish bile? It says a lot about McMurdo that he feels the need to try to excuse this vile individual.

McMurdo's supporters resort to downright lies to attempt to agree with him.

"...it has become apparent that someone having a go at a Rangers player or indeed the manager is treated a lot lighter than anyone who directs abuse at Neil Lennon."

Is this guy joking? The guy that posted threats to Lennon on Twitter was let off the hook, while the Hearts fan that assaulted him was treated leniently as well. I take it this idiot wants the would-be bombers admonished too!

Another contributor states that his niece had to turn her 'Rangers' top inside out while the other children at an RC school were allowed to wear their Celtic tops. This is a downright lie as it is policy in all state schools that football tops are not to be worn - even Scotland, Juventus or Man Utd. Another poster claims that you can't be a godparent to an RC child if you are a Protestant. My own daughter was baptised a Catholic and both her godparents are Protestants. The priest didn't bat an eylid; in fact he said that it was good to have godparents that were real Christians!

The fact that they need to lie to justify their opinions shows that those opinions are flawed from the outset. At least they've stopped crowing about Celtic being investigated. They all know in their hearts that having Gregory Campbell fighting your corner is not a sign of a strong case!

An example of the bigotry evident on McMurdo's site was seen a couple of days ago when one poster was rejoicing over the start of the enquiry in Northern Ireland into child abuse in various institutions. This contributor said that there woud be 'no more cover-ups,' citing the fact that Catholic children's homes were being investigated. It shows the mentality of  this type when that's all he can see as relevant; a chance to get one up on the 'Papes'. What he fails to mention, or perhaps not realise, is that this enquiry is not an anti-Catholic crusade but a thorough investigation of what happened in all institutions, including Kincora Boys' Home.

Meanwhile the Bisto share price continues to fall; 27p was the last I saw. It doesn't matter though since Celtic's world is about to come crashing in on them, isn't it? In a clear disply of how worried everyone is at Celtic Park over this matter the club is in the process of signing Stefan Johansen for £2m. Bisto's only signing has been a 'financial guru' to stop all the cash leaking out. I think any outsider can see which team is in financial difficulties!

I see Silly Season has arrived. Apparently Majid Bougherra has been saying how he would come back and play at Bisto FC for free. The guy got away with absolute murder when he played in Scotland before, so it's hardly surprising that he has happy memories. Remember his wee winks over to the bench as he got away with his fifth offence in a match without so much as a yellow card? It would be good to say that this wouldn't happen again but, as Baby Dallas and his cronies have shown, there's still one rule for the Ibrox team and another for everybody else.

An even bigger laugh was provided in the Evening Times, where it was claimed that Lee Wallace would be a 'big hit' in the Barclays Premier League. This is the view of Gary Naysmith, after watching Wallace play against East Fife! 'He's too good for Division 1,' says Naysmith. So are a lot of players in the leagues above but they'd struggle like hell in the English Championship, never mind the Premiership. If there's one thing you can guarantee about football it's that there's always somebody ready to come out with a pile of shite like this!

'Keep It Clean.' That's the name of the new SFA scheme to keep corruption out of the game. Talk about shutting the stable door etc! Does that mean no more 'temporary licences'? They've set up a hotline for whistleblowers, called the 'security and integrity' hotline, so that folk can tell of any concerns about the game. What's the betting the lines will be jammed with Bisto Kids, greetin' about everything being 'no' fair'? They'll be watching every televised Celtic match and phoning up every time somebody falls over. Somehow I can't see this hotline lasting very long.

Diamond Dan says, 'Remember, my little Clementines, always treat people with respect. Unless of course they happen to be Fenian or Taig bastards!'

MARTS, HEARTS AND AULD FARTS

Loyalty is a big buzzword among companies that provide services these days. Yes, you get special offers and short-term deals to get you to sign up with mobile-phone companies etc but they all know that the hard thing is holding onto a customer for the long haul. It's easy to change electricity suppliers, mortgages and television providers and the companies all know this. That is why most of them have loyalty schemes. For example, I've been with the Clydesdale Bank for thirty-odd years and have been offered preferential rates on a mortgage and loans many times. Equally, Scottish Power will send you a substantial cheque as a bonus from time to time if you stay with them. Even Sky will make you some kind of deal if you are going to leave them for Virgin or whatever.

Since it's never been easier to change mortgages and loans, banks are desperate to hold onto customers, especially large, corporate ones. Celtic falls into this category. The Co-Operative Bank was there when Fergus McCann needed them and Celtic have stayed with them ever since. Such loyalty does not go unrewarded, which goes to explain the more than competitive rates that Celtic has managed to secure. There is nothing sinister about it; it's simply how business works these days. Gregory Campbell can stick that up his tyrannosaurus rex!

A more dodgy situation is revealed in yesterday's Daily Record. In a piece from his new book, The Official History of Celtic Football Club, Brian Wilson reveals some hitherto-unknown details about Fergus McCann's takeover of the club. The most interesting aspect is the way the Bank of Scotland dealt with Celtic. At a time when David Murray's cronies at this bank were handing him money willy-nilly, with no real collateral except would-be's and could-be's, the Bank of Scotland appears to have gone out of its way to shut Celtic down. Maybe this is what Murray meant when he said he was going to 'Wipe Celtic Football Club off the face of the Earth.' If you haven't read the article yet, you can see it here. It makes fascinating reading. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/fergus-mccanns-battle-save-celtic-3013568

Although this might not count in the arena of 'state aid' it certainly qualifies as unfair competition. I think UEFA and even the European Commission might be interested in this disgusting scenario, where one business is looking to dominate by persuading another business to put the squeeze on it rival. Do you think Gregory Campbell would be interested?

Which leads nicely to the Quote of The Week. Amid all the premature jubilation, not to mention ejaculation, among the Bisto Kids, somebody on McMurdo's blog put a fly in the ointment. Apparently a guy called Andy Muirhead, who runs the website Fanzine, has put in a Freedom Of Information request to Glasgow City Council for all land deals done between them and Rangers. The clown that posts this gem on McMurdo's site goes on to call Muirhead...wait for it...'Obsessed'! Are these idiots for real?

Sooperally, meanwhile, admits that he is 'in the dark' about the finances of Bisto FC. No big surprise there, since he is in the dark about tactics, the fact that his club died and about the real world in general. The only finances he's not in the dark about are his own. His pay cut is going to take effect soon; I wonder if it'll be backdated. Surely that's what somebody with the club's interest at heart would do?

Today's Record has the story of a young guy that had sick posts about Fernando Ricksen on his Twitter account. He claims that his account was hacked but the Bisto Kids have already condemned him. Amazingly, the Record decides to quote some of the angry Bisto Kids as they detail their searches into the boy's social media sites. Admittedly the boy seems a bit of a dick, being a member of a Republican flute band (as if we don't have enough bloody flute bands already)! The police are investigating and it is to be hoped that said investigation is more successful than the one into the sick, sectarian posts about the people killed in the Clutha disaster.

The Bisto Kids are already putting the boy's face, workplace and where he lives out on the internet. Just to let everyone know, of course (nod nod wink wink).

Also in today's Record is more on serial woman-beater James Boyd. Apparently the BNP is trying to claim he is not a member, even though there are plenty of pictures of him at meetings and rallies. He is obsessed with Adolf Hitler and Nazism, is sickeningly racist and has convictions for racially-motivated attacks. He has tattoos that seem to imply that he is a member of Combat 18, a neo-Nazi group as well as one with a Union flag with a British bulldog inside it. He is also pictured wearing an old Rangers top. No further comment is necessary.

Keith Jackson authors a piece today that is straight from the Traynor book of so-called journalism. Apparently everyone, from the football fan right up to the hallowed offices at Hampden, is to blame for Hearts' current plight. Why? Because we all kicked Rangers/Bisto when it was down, that's why! A precedent has been set and Hearts have to suffer the consequences.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting heartily sick of all this revisionism. Let's look at the facts: Hearts should have gone into administration but a bit of sleight-of-hand, involving the new concept of holding companies, was used to keep them going. In effect, they should be in the Championship now instead of Dundee. So, in clinging onto their place in the Premier League they have made a rod for their own back. Nobody else made it and nobody else is wielding it. They have only themselves to blame.

More nauseating, however, is Jackson's assertion that Rangers/Bisto was punished for the crimes of Craig Whyte. What did Whyte do? There was nothing illegal about the Ticketus deal and his holding back of the PAYE was only follow-following in an established tradition at Ibrox. If anything, Whyte was wronged. It is not illegal to build a phoenix company but creditors might still have had a claim against it. Which goes some way to explain the fraud carried out by Duff and Phelps and Charlie 'Castle' Green.

Rangers was responsible for its own demise and nobody else was in any way involved. Murray sycophants, like Jackson, wanted Bisto to be treated differently from every other team. Where were all the calls for sympathy when Gretna went to the wall? And the fraud is ongoing. BDO apparently have stated that the liquidation of Rangers is going to take years. Why? The only possible reason is to give Bisto FC time to work their way up the leagues and get it implanted into the minds of all that it's the 'same team.'

That's twenty-eight days now since anyone has heard from Auld Pishy. I think we should have some kind of vigil, like they did for Terry Waite back in the day. I'll nip down the chapel later and light a candle for him and suggest everybody does the same. I'm sure he and his auld Presbyterian granny would appreciate it!

A caun'le fur Leggat

XENOPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA AND COULROPHOBIA

I see David Limond, brother of TV's Limmy, has been sent to jail for six months. The Bisto Kids, of course, are all over the story, with their usual 'I don't condone what he said, but...' The general feeling among them is that it was 'just banter' and there was no racism or sectarian hatred involved.  McMurdo goes one further, saying that the onus should be on the accuser to prove that they are, in fact, practising members of the religion that a bigot is disparaging. Strange, strange man.

Let's start with the racism angle first. McMurdo contends that the Scots and the Irish are all from the same background and are, essentially, the same people. Certainly, I learned at school that the Scots originally came from Ireland. Do a quick Google search on the subject, however, and you will see that there are many that go out of their way to dispute this. McMurdo himself subscribes to the British Israelism pseudo-history, which makes sure that a stark distinction is made beween the God-fearing, British descendants of the Lost Tribes and the pagan, Irish descendants of the apostate Tribe of Dan. The question has to be asked - why do these folk go to all this trouble?

According to McMurdo, there is a victim mentality at play here; the whole idea of anti-Irish racism is an invention to serve a particular agenda. Why, then, do all these historical revisionists, whom McMurdo supports and believes in, go to such great pains to emphasise the difference between the Scots and the Irish? Their theories have been rubbished time and again, but still they cling to them. Why? Why are they so desperate to portray the Irish as 'other'? And why does McMurdo continually allow the phrases 'Native Scots' and 'Indigenous Scots' on his blog if he believes what he wrote yesterday? The answer, and the self-deception, is plain from one contributor to McMurdo's blog. He said, and I quote, 'I’m not a racist – I’m a realist – and these timmigrants must gtf.'

To an extent I agree with McMurdo about the religious aspect; most folk that call themselves Catholics and Protestants are, in reality, neither and would be unable to explain even the most basic aspects of their professed faith. Does this, however, preclude the existence of religious bigotry? Not at all. The whole reason for bigoted statements is to cause offence; according to McMurdo, however,  the people offended are the ones to blame, not the bigots! To take McMurdo's contention to its logical conclusion: if I call somebody that is mentally handicapped a 'Spastic' then I have done nothing wrong because the person is not, in fact, a spastic! It's a crass, stupid and lazy argument to excuse bigotry.

There have been more than a few posters on McMurdo's site expressing anti-Semitic views and McMurdo himself has a link on his blog to a known holocaust denier! Of course, British Israelism, especially in its Christian Identiy guise, says that the British and their descendants are Jews themselves, so how can they possibly be anti-Semitic? It just shows the mentality of your average Bisto Kid!

On a lighter note, Sooperally's response to the need for cutbacks is to call for more players! He's been having meetings with the chairman, Mr Blobby, to discuss the situation. So far, apparently, his team is safe. There is no word yet, however, about Sooper himself and his coaching team. How about this for a crowd of hangers-on: there's Sooperally himself, of course, then Kenny McDowall, Ian Durrant, Andrew Dickson, Jim Stewart, Paul Jackson, David Lavery, Jimmy Bell and Steve Harvey. What the hell do all these folk do? More to the point, how much do all these characters earn? It seems Bisto FC still can't accept what has happened to them; they think they need a huge coaching staff like some of Europe's top teams. Then again, I doubt even Barca or Real Madrid have as big a staff!

Barry Ferguson decides to use his column in the Daily Record to highlight the problems faced by gay footballers. Not that we know of any, since they all wait until they retire to come out of the closet; understandably, since homophobia is still a major issue in our supposedly enlightened society. Ferguson goes on about the cruel banter in dressing-rooms and says that such banter is all gay footballers would have to put up with. What a load of pish! Most footballers are not that bright and have hardly moved into the Twentieth Century, never mind the Twenty-First, in their way of thinking and behaviour. Imagine the bullying a gay footballer would have to put up with from men that often think that rape is okay!

Essentially, Ferguson is extending the hand of friendship and understanding to footballers that want to 'come out'. He sets himself up, though professing to be 'not be the world’s most liberated person,' as the epitome of understanding and compassion. It's just a pity that his understanding and compassion didn't stretch to Paul Le Guen, eh? I wonder what the problem was there!

Finally, I know I keep banging on about this but, really, I'm amazed that nobody else has highlighted it. If the stories about Celtic's land deals and supposed dodgy loans from the Co-Op were even halfway true, then why is it the only one interested in pursuing the complaint is a well-known bigot? How come no Scottish MPs, MSPs or MEPs were interested? As far as I have seen they're still not interested. Still, an MP like Gregory Campbell only has the interests of the ratepayers of Glasgow at heart. It's not like he has any kind of agenda, is it?

'We're no' bigots. It's aw they Tarriers, Taigs an' Fenians that ur the bigots! Awright, Ah hate the basturds, but that disnae make me a bigot, dizzit? Ah hate thum because thur scum, an' Ah'm no' bein' bigoted when Ah say that. An' wee Barry's right. We're no' homerphobic either - Ah watch the Simpsons aw the time! An' if any Harry Hoofter waants tae play at Ibrox thul find oot that we're aw inclusive. They kin lift aw the shirts they waant, jist iz long iz they don't bless thursel's!'

EC PEASY!

Sometimes you can't help wishing you'd been born gay. We've been in this house for three months now and our dishwasher is sitting redundant in a back cupboard. Plumbing it in is an easy task and I've offered to do it repeatedly. According to her, though, she prefers to wash her dishes by hand, which begs the question as to why the hell we bought a dishwasher in the first place! She says she prefers to wash her dishes by hand but now she's moaning at me because I haven't washed the dishes! What goes through their brains?

An equal mystery is what goes through the mind of a Bisto Kid. There are sticky underpants all over Govan with the news that the European Commission is looking into land deals between Celtic and Glasgow City Council, even though not all of the land belonged to GCC in the first place. Despite their sheer joy at this they are due for a massive fall; there's really nothing much to investigate. There's no point going into details here; there are plenty of other places where you can read the truth. The sad straw-clutching of The Peeppell is going to come back and bite them on the arse.

They all know, of course, that they're talking utter shite, which is why they're already making noises about 'corruption' and the EC being full of 'Romans.' They're getting their excuses in early. The EC is duty-bound to investigate any complaints but that does not make the subject of the complaint true, despite what the Bisto Kids think. I expect that the EC will take into consideration the fact that the complaint did not come from the ratepayers of Glasgow, but from Belfast bigots and dinosaur jockeys. I would imagine the reasons behind the complaints will have a major influence on the outcome of the investigation.

This certainly puts Resolution 12 at the Celtic AGM in a new light. All the Bisto Kids were raging over these questions about our football authorities bending over backwards, not to mention bending the rules, to accommodate their new team. At least it was all out in the open, not sleekitly creeping about in the background and getting Stormont MPs  to do the dirty work. Still, I suppose it's the Ibrox way, always has been, always will be!

Far more worrying are the double-standards recently shown by our judiciary. Yesterday one Michael Convery was sentenced to six months in prison for posting racially-abusive tweets to Maurice Edu and Kyle Bartley. To my mind this is thoroughly deserved and sends out a clear message that such things will not be tolerated in this day and age. Unfortunately it comes straight on the back of Christopher Hay being let off for doing the same thing. The big difference is that Hay's tweets were about Neil Lennon, which seems to be okay apparently. He tweeted, '“I seriously do wish that someone would kill that ugly ginger cunt. I should’ve planned my parcel bombs better. Next time it’ll work.'

It shows you how laughable McMurdo's complaints about it being a 'free-for-all' on Bisto FC. On the contrary, it seems that it's perfectly acceptable to threaten or attack Neil Lennon but abusing Rangers or Bisto players is an offence punishable by incarceration. An utterly disgraceful state of affairs. As is this story highlighted by Phil Mac Whatsit: http://www.philmacgiollabhain.ie/glasgow-of-the-welcomes/#more-4309

Meanwhile, Jack McConnell is quoted as calling for a halt on campaigning about Scottish independence during the Commonwealth Games. He comes out with the following statement: "(The Commonwealth Games is) an incredible opportunity to showcase what is modern Glasgow and modern Scotland". Hopefully the folk coming from all over the world don't read about how our justice system operates. Or perhaps they'll have a halt on all such trials during the Games!

The biggest problem for those wanting to showcase 'modern Glasgow' and 'modern Scotland' is going to be the fact that many athletes turn up to these games early to acclimatise themselves. Factors like changes in weather, unfamiliar surfaces etc can all affect an athlete's performance. There is also the matter of jet lag to take into consideration; many competitors will be coming from vastly different time zones. To counter these handicaps many athletes will turn up in Glasgow one or two weeks before the Games actually begin. When they ask questions about the large march taking place, how are the powers-that-be going to explain this aspect of 'modern Glasgow' and 'modern Scotland'?

Gregory Campbell comes riding to the rescue.

MISSING DISSING AND PISSING

Sorry I've been posted missing for nearly a week now. I'm getting as bad as Leggat. I'm currently working on another book that nobody will read except my daughter and that has taken up most of my time. Anyway, to business.

I think everybody can agree that John Gemmell hit the nail squarely on the head with his tweets about Sooperally. He made absolute mincemeat of the Bisto manager and even many of the Bisto Kids had to admit that he was perfectly correct in what he was saying. McMurdo, who seems to have decided to go along with Leggat's 'Merlin' name, however, sees things differently. What concerns him is the 'disrespect' shown to Sooperally, which he claims is symptomatic of a 'culture of abuse pervading our game.' Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but doesn't respect have to be earned? And what has Sooper done to earn respect? Nothing much as far as I can see.

Sooper has come out pledging support for anything in a suit and tie, only to backtrack later. He stabbed his employers in the back with his proxying of his votes and seems to think he needs to spend even more money to beat part-time opposition. I subscribe to what John Lydon, AKA Johnny Rotten, once said, 'If you talk like an arsehole and act like an arsehole - you're an arsehole!' Unfortunately for Sooper he has constantly fitted into this category and lost any right to respect a long time ago.

Of course, the Bisto Kids fall over themselves to agree with McMurdo, although, it has to be said, not all of them are so thin-skinned. Unfortunately, some of the terms they use are downright insulting: 'beadrattlers' 'aliens' 'Native Scots' as well as calling Neil Lennon a bigot. This is standard fare on McMurdo's blog and yet he has the effrontery to talk about 'disrespect' and a 'culture of abuse.' I wonder what he has to say about the Bisto Kid, reported on in today's Record, who posted on Twitter that he'd like to see Neil Lennon dead. That'll just be banter, eh?

Amazingly, they mention the 'class' shown by Sooperally after the game against Stenny when he spoke and smiled to John Gemmell. Such 'class' would never be shown by Neil Lennon, they assert. Perhaps they've forgotten how he forgave the sleekit fat shit for whispering in his ear and has never divulged what was said. And Sooper might have been wearing a smile when he spoke to John Gemmell but it would be interesting to know what he actually whispered in his ear!

Meanwhile they're all still having multiple orgasms over the crap spouted on Football Tax Havens and by the guy with the Old-Testament name. They're even appearing on the Daily Record forum, talking about 'questions in the House' and Government and EU enquiries etc. They still can't seem to get it into their heads that the only person of note that is in any way interested is sad old bigot and dinosaur jockey Gregory Campbell. All this man ever talks about in the House of Commons is Celtic and I doubt anybody listens!

Hearts have gone cap-in-hand to the SPFL to beg for the rules to be bent in order for them to maybe bring in a couple of free transfers. Of course, the Bisto Kids are up in arms, forgetting entirely that the rules were actually broken to allow their new team to play in the leagues at all. Still, all the clubs made, agreed and signed up to the rules; they can't then expect these rules to be chucked out the window because they find themselves in dire straits. Unlike Rangers, Hearts have avoided going into administration, let alone liquidation, which means that they are going to have to cut their cloth to suit. If that means relegation then that's life. They'll just have to deal with it.

As well as the adherence to the rules and the much-maligned sporting integrity, there is also the little matter of a wider frame of legality and ethics. If the rules were to be relaxed and Hearts were allowed to bring in a couple of free transfers, where is the money going to come from to pay these players' wages? Is it ethical, or even legal, to renege on debts while paying out large sums of money to players? In no other business arena would you be allowed to get away with this. Then again, in no other arena would a business be allowed to go into liquidation and then carry on as if nothing had happened while shedding all its debts, would it?

Auld Pishy definitely seems to have done a bunk. That's been over three weeks now since he was last heard from! He's either still lying in bed in floods of tears, hitting the bottle with a vengeance, haunting Ibrox, trying to sook in with the Krays or he's boring Lucifer to death with tales about his Auld Presbyterian Granny.

While typing Leggat's name into Google to see if he'd surfaced yet I accidentally went to the site of one David Icke. Have you read any of his stuff? If you believed half of it you'd never leave the house again. You'd just lie in your bed with tin foil lining the walls, your mobile phone and computer smashed to pieces and eating nothing but home-baked bread and water in case you were drugged or poisoned. Strangely, though, a lot of the stuff he writes is not a million miles away from the shite you read on McMurdo's blog from time to time! Icke, however, doesn't let bigotry get in the way and uses a scatter-gun approach to indentify players in the big conspiracy. Like McMurdo, and the pseudo-historians he copies, he also doesn't let facts get in the way. One of my favourite stories is that the late Queen Mother was a practising Satanist, who performed human sacrifices! I hear Icke's being lined up as a possible future chairman at Ibrox. Onwards and upwards!

'Oh, Lord, please, please, please, free me from this pish-stained alky and I promise I'll do nothing but good from now on.'