UNIONIST KLAN INTOLERANCE PARTY

I always wonder why Hollywood bothers to film remakes of movies that are already okay. The Spider-Man film last year is a prime example; what was the point? And now they've remade Godzilla when a perfectly serviceable one was made not that long ago. To advertise this new film they had an animatronic Godzilla monster dragging some poor woman round New York. There were pictures in the Daily Record showing...hold on...on closer inspection that's not Godzilla - it's Sooperally and his blushing bride! Blushing is the operative word. Imagine the woman's embarrassment walking round Manhattan with THAT - did you see those shorts!

Yesterday we had the revelation that Merlin McMurdo was once a UKIP candidate. That explains why he has a link to the former UKIP member and Holocaust denier, Alistair McConnachie and his website A Force For Good, telling us all how wonderful the UK is. Apparently the UK gives us all 'one big home' we can call our own and we should all work together, not be separate etc. The same arguments could be made for the EU but probably there are too many foreigners involved!

Which brings me to McMurdo's comments today about UKIP. He elaborates on his own candidacy; he stood for both Holyrood and Westminster. Obviously he did well! His main theme, however, is his annoyance at UKIP being branded a racist party. Maybe he's unaware but there's another UKIP councillor been suspended in England after the discovery of racist and homophobic rants on Twitter. He's been suspended - just five days after being elected!

McMurdo contends that the party is 'brutal and swift' in dealing with anyone that 'shows the propensity for racial or religious extremism.' Really? To the rest of us UKIP only seems to deal with such characters when they're caught out! Even then, they're not that great at dealing with things. What about the comments made by Der Fuhrer, Nigel Farage, that you'd be better with Germans living next door rather than Romanians? And what about the revelations in England that people are voting for UKIP precisely because it's viewed as a racist party? The comments that McMurdo allows on his blog clearly shows that the same is probably true in Scotland.

Next up for debate is some old nutjob called Pastor James McConnell, who has stirred up a fuss by saying that Islam is the work of the devil etc etc. There's nothing new in this kind of thing. Some of the Protestant clergy in Northern Ireland are stuck in a timewarp, thinking they're still in the 17th Century preaching about hellfire and brimstone to make their Elect congregations feel smug and self-satisfied. This is the modern world, however, and such pronouncements don't go unnoticed by others on this planet.

McMurdo stands up for the old fool, saying he's a 'man of God'. He also questions Martin McGuinness's involvement in the row, saying that he's trying to get old Jeremiah into trouble! He goes on 'The irony of Martin McGuinness having a go at anybody for racial and religious intolerance will not escape my readers.' Eh? He's lost me there. Oh, wait, I forgot, anybody that doesn't agree with the outdated supremacist views of 'Gods chosen' is a racist and a bigot. McGuinness is in good company since this mob sees Nelson Mandela and the PLO in exactly the same light.

McMurdo even supports old Jeremiah's assertion that Islam is a 'heathen' religion. But, then, to Reformed Protestants everybody outside their circle is a heathen and is predestined to burn in Hell just so their God can get his kicks. If anything, it's Reformed Protestantism that's the 'heathen' religion, believing as it does in a cruel, capricious God that wouldn't look out of place in Greek, Roman or Norse mythology.

'I think the whole issue of intolerance has become politicised and has been hijacked by people with very dodgy agendas of their own. As we all know, the real agenda of political correctness is to obliterate British values and culture,' McMurdo opines. What reactionary right-wingers like him fail to realise is that what they term 'political correctness' the rest of us see as common human decency. If 'British values and culture' have things wrong with them are we supposed to just cling onto them out of some slavish devotion to the past? For McMurdo and his supporters the answer would be a resounding 'Yes'.

An article today in the Daily Record had The Peeppul fuming. It seems Celtic is now 37th in the top 50 brands in world football. There are many comments that have disappeared on the DR so I take it the Bisto Kids have been on gnashing their toothless gums together and falling foul of the moderator for inappropriate language. According to the financial group that presented these findings it'll take Bisto FC the best part of ten years to catch up with Celtic. That's a helluva long road they're coming down!

Lastly, while working on my book I've been looking again at the First Tier Tax Tribunal and Lord Nimmo-Smith's report. Everybody's probably already thought of this but if those EBTs are counted as actual loans to be paid back, shouldn't BDO be looking into getting that cash back for the creditors instead of wasting time investigating Craig Whyte? It looks like it's another Duff and Phelps job; pissing about doing nothing while the creditors can go to hell. This must be another one of those records The Peeppul are so fond of: the first time that administrators and liquidators have refused point-blank to act in the interests of the creditors!

"Woe unto thee O Britain! Thou hast allowed heathen Muslims, Fenians, poofs, darkies, chinkies, spics, dagoes, wops, frogs, gyppos and all manner of foreign scum into thy bosom. Vote UKIP and get rid of them. Oh, and by the way, I'm not a racist. It's that fucking fenian, taig bog-trotter McGuinness that's the racist!"

WE ARE THE NAZIS

The march to Ibrox on Saturday was an unmitigated disaster. It looked as if there were as many media photographers and cameramen than there were demonstrators. Who was it this time anyway - the Union of Fuckwits or the Sons of Struth? The latter I take it, since Craig Houston was there, making sure they all held their red cards up at all times. I still think there's a touch of the 'undead' about that guy Houston; I'm sure he sleeps in a coffin instead of a bed.

If you watch the start of their video on YouTube you'll notice that there were a lot more of them at the start than there were at the finish. Most of the extras seemed to be old men. And what do most old men do on a Saturday? Rush to the bookies to put a line on, then into the pub for a quick 'Pensioner's Pony' and then back home to try to convince the wife that there was a big queue at the butcher's. I'm willing to bet that's what those old guys in the video were up to. The route was probably chosen for that very purpose; to include those old guys to make it look as if there were greater numbers on the march.

At the end of the video there's a small crowd huddled together, posing for the cameras. All in all it was a pathetic display. Anybody with any sense would have abandoned the march when they realised the paucity of numbers turning up. Still, it probably gave those on the Ibrox board a much-needed laugh!

A major WTF moment yesterday when it emerged that UKIP has actually managed to get a candidate elected in Scotland. Considering they didn't even bother to campaign in Scotland even the candidate himself was surprised. He started banging on about how people in Scotland are fed up being dictated to by Europe etc etc but he, and his party, obviously don't want to admit the real reason why he got elected.

I was watching Have I Got News For You on Friday and they were talking about why people were voting for UKIP in England. It seems the more UKIP are branded as racist the more folk want to vote for them. People that would never dream of voting BNP out of embarrassment can vote for UKIP and make the excuse that it's all about Europe, when it's nothing of the sort. No doubt The Peeppul ran to UKIP in droves for exactly the same reasons as the voters in England.

In the Daily Record yesterday there was a story about some character that lives in Belfast, who is the leader of another bunch of Nazis, called Britain First. He has links to Loyalist terrorists but is better known for he and his cronies bursting into mosques and handing out Bibles. It was astounding, or maybe not, to see all The Peeppul posting to give their support. One of the things they banged on about was what's offensive about a Bible? The answer, of course, is nothing but bursting into somebody's place of worship to try to force your own views on them is offensive. Since that's the way they see things I'm sure they wouldn't object if folk tried to give out rosary beads at this year's Orange Walk! Any volunteers?

Other points they make are about Muslims trying to take over councils and how they're all about grooming children to sexually abuse. Sound familiar? Anyone that's a Catholic or was brought up one should take pause before they decide to support any political group that promotes this shite. Just remember, they accuse us of exactly the same things they're accusing the Muslims of.

As usual, The Peeppul decide to indulge in a bit of historical revisionism. Remember a few years back when some would-be terrorists tried to target Glasgow Airport? According to The Peeppul a Rangers fan soon settled their hash. That's not, however, what really happened. The Rangers supporter, I forget his name, was actually outside having a fag when the incident happened. He stood smoking while others dealt with the people in the car. His whole contribution was to mouth off to a TV reporter; he actually did nothing at all. It seems some things never change. It's the same situation as The Peeppul hiding in the shipyards during wartime and then shouting their support for the armed forces to all and sundry!

Anyway, it's yet one more reason to vote for independence - we don't want these Nazi bastards! The way things are going in England it looks like the Tories will end up in some kind of pact with UKIP. Do we want to be governed by the likes of that? It's also laughable how the new UKIP MEP is all for decentralisation when it comes to Europe but not when it comes to Scottish independence. Like all right-wingers he's a bloody hypocrite.

Vote YES and tell the Nazis to fuck off!

Scotland's new MEP celebrates his election.

MURDER MURDER POLIS

Is it not a criminal offence to waste police time? It's not as if they've got nothing else to do but turn up at Ibrox every couple of weeks so that somebody can have a look at what everybody's earning. They really do get carried away with themselves, The Peeppul. I wish somebody would hurry up and win this war for Ibrox; it would be nice to end my book with this current saga resolved. Even an administration would do me. Come on, lads, get it sorted! It's good to have some sort of conclusion at the end of a book.

Meanwhile, the Bisto Kids are all over the story of Neil Lennon leaving Celtic. It's the only bit of good news they've had for years now. Why they see it as good news I can't fathom; who are they going to hate now? And I noticed on McMurdo's blog that some are claiming that history will be 're-written' to make it look like Lennon was the victim of bigotry. What planet are thse clowns on? Even if Vincent Lunny has no eyes or ears when it comes to The Peeppul the rest of the world has and they could all see, as plain as day, what he was subjected to.

Staying with McMurdo, I see he's still got this theory in the back of his mind that some outside agency is to blame for the War of the Crooks. 'Divide and conquer,' he says, and it's not the first time he's come out with this. I take it, then, that it's all Celtic supporters in the Broomloan Stand waving pishy bedsheets about?

Strangely, given his penchant for constantly quoting the Bible like Dot Cotton, McMurdo hasn't looked to his religion for answers. Reformed Protestantism believes in predistination and that God orders everything that happens in the world. Their God is a sadistic brute, who has already decided, right from the start, who is going to Heaven and who is going to Hell. He has also made a Covenant with His 'Chosen People' that He will look after them here on Earth if they obey His laws. If they don't obey then God shows his anger the same way He did in the Old Testament. This is why you get the likes of DUP MPs claiming that all the floods in England are divine punishment for His people allowing same-sex marriages.

Since God is an Orangeman, He obviously supports the Ibrox team. Surely they must see that all the troubles besetting them are because God is angry about something they've done. Jesus said, 'Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's.' In other words: pay your taxes! Maybe God's been in league with HMRC all along, and the articles on the Rangers Tax Case blog were actually divine revelation, like the book in the Bible with the same name! So there's a new chant for them: 'God disnae like us an' we don't care!'

Knowing The Peeppul, however, if they did follow this train of thought they'd probably put it down to God being angry because they've been signing Catholics! Which brings me onto a disgusting post by somebody on McMurdo's blog. Some guy's daughter's getting married and he says,  "He is actually a Killie fan, but he is the right religion, and a very nice guy, and a member of HM’s Forces.
CoS wedding, I am pretty pleased with her choice." I thought we'd seen the last of that kind of thinking.

My own daughter has had an off/on relationship with her boyfriend for years now. The guy's not that interested in football but comes down on the side of 'Rangers'. He is also nominally a Protestant. I only discovered this by chance as I couldn't give a flying fuck which religion, if any, he follows. If he was trying to drag her off to join the Moonies or something then I think I'd be concerned; otherwise, as long as my daughter is happy then that's all that matters to me. This consideration obviously comes way down the list of priorities as far as some of The Peeppul are concerned.

Finally, I see Napier University has come out tops in a survey to find out where students get the most sex. Damn! Why couldn't they have had a survey like that before I chose which university I was going to?

And God did look upon The Rangers and said,

"Pye yer fuckin' taxes!"

NO BIG DEAL

The story in the Daily Record about the subsidies paid to TV companies has got everybody's tongues wagging. The Bisto Kids are saying, 'It's aw aboot the Raynjurz' while everybody else sees it as some kind of crooked deal to make sure the new club got maximum TV exposure. If you take a hairdryer and evaporate the pish in the DR story then you can see what really happened.

In 2012 when the deal was being struck the TV companies would have insisted on four Old-Firm derbies a year, as well as a certain amount of Celtic games and Rangers games. But it looked like Rangers might be going into liquidation. You can imagine the scenario.

TV EXECS: What 'appens if Raynjahs go inter liquerdayshun? 'Ow are we gonna get ahr Owld-Firm matches then?

SPL BODS: Don't worry, thurz nae daynjur. If they go intae liquidation then wull jist shove the new club in the SPL an' kid oan it's the same team. Nae bother, big man!

And then liquidation occurs and, as promised, the attempt is made to put the new club into the SPL. Everyone involved: Doncaster, Lawwell etc. would just be looking at the pound signs. Who gave a fuck for 'Sporting Integrity'? They didn't reckon with the Scottish football fans, however, who refused to stand by and let this tawdry affair go ahead. An emergency meeting is called by the TV execs.

TV EXEC: Wharra fuck's goin' on? You promised us foah Owld-Firm daahbies!

SPL BODS: Ah'm afraid wur fans widnae stand furrit. Wur gonny hiv tae pit the new Raynjurz intae the Thurd Division. But ye kin still televise some-y thur games.

TV EXEC: Saao we've 'eard. D'you honestly expect us to send Ian Crocker to the likes of...let's see naaow...Stennassmoor? Is that even a real plice?

SPL BODS: Tell ye what, why don't wae pye ye back some-y the money tae make up furrit?

TV EXEC: Damn right you will! I mean do some-a these plices even 'ave roads?

SPL BODS: It's awright, big man, we'll see yez awright. Jist don't tell embdy, though!

And so the deal was struck. Really that's what it all comes down to. As an SPFL 'source' told the DR, 'when Rangers collapsed the SPL was in breach of contract. The deal agreed with the broadcasters was saving the game.' He forgot to say that they were trying to save face as well!

Meanwhile, I see Nacho Novo has come out on the side of Honest Dave and his 'Trust' Fund. Novo said that he thought long and hard about going public with his views. Will that be the same amount of long and hard thinking he did before they wheeled him out at the Requisitioners' meeting in December, in between the jokes about child abuse? He reminisces, "During my time everyone was happy...there is something missing." That's right, Nacho, it's called money - money that belonged to Her Majesty's Government and other people. Now pay back your EBT 'loan' and piss off!

Also in today's DR was a rather insensitive piece that would have had The Peeppul crying into their breakfast-time Super Lager. On Sunday it's the 47th anniversary of that European Cup win. The Lisbon Lions are going back to Portugal to celebrate so the DR has decided to commemorate the great event. How dare they! Have they no feelings? Don't they remember that that evening in Lisbon was directly responsible for the death of Rangers?

Still working on 'Clash of the Agnivores'. Hope to be finished quite soon.
   

 

"Listen, don't moan at me aboot TV money; it's yer ain fault! If yez hud jist let us pit Green's new club intae the SPL as planned then thur'd-a been nae problem. Yez've naebdy tae blame but yersel's!"

 

 

WE ARE THE BLACKMAIL BOYS

Sorry I haven't posted anything for over a week, I've been working hard, and I do mean hard, on my new book, 'Clash of the Agnivores.' It's amazing how your memory plays tricks and you remember two things happening at the same time, only to find, when you check, that they occurred months apart. I've had to go over the whole sorry saga again, which provides endless amusement but takes up a lot of time!

Anyway, I see that the Bisto board might be going to give in to the blackmail tactics of Honest Dave and his followers. I didn't think that many would fall for his crazy scheme and would be surprised if the board actually does capitulate. It's well known that if you give in to a blackmailer once then you'll never be free of him. If the board gives up now then there'll be demands made every time ST renewal time comes round. But I think it's all wishful thinking on the part of the Daily Record. There's still plenty of time for other folk to step in and snap up the unsold STs and I would imagine the board will bide their time till then.

McMurdo, understandably, is blazing. The meetings between the 'rebels' and Mr Blobby he sees as a slap in the face for all those that have been unflinching in their support. He and his supporters still talk of the 'rebels' as a minority but the poor season-ticket sales would suggest they've got it wrong. McMurdo suggests that some folk aren't renewing because they're sickened by Blobby's appeasement of the Union of Fuckwits. Whatever the reason the most optimistic estimates place season-tickt renewals at a paltry 10,000, which will hardly cover Sooperally's wages! The funny thing about all this is to read some moron posting on the Daily Record site rejoicing that not many STs have been sold and finishing with WATP. What the hell that's all about I don't know.

What's even funnier is that the institutional investors, who, as the 'rebels' discovered to their embarrassment last December, call the shots at Ibrox are probably getting heartily sick of all this. There's no way in hell these folk will want to be conceding anything to anybody and they might well decide that enough's enough and pack the whole thing in. There are already rumours doing the rounds about liquidation and this is a distinct possibility. Laxey, Margarita, Blue Pitch and the rest couldn't give a flying fuck for Ibrox 'traditions' and what have you; they're there to make money, full stop. If they can't get their cash one way then, by God, they'll get it another.

They can't sell the stadium, since Craig Whyte's claim is yet to be decided, but there are plenty of other things that can go, including Edmiston House and the Albion Car Park. There are already loans with these two premises as collateral and if the board is starved of funds then these will be snapped up and sold off. And if, as the rumours maintain, there is to be a liquidation in the near future, it will be a REAL liquidation this time. These hedge funds etc. won't stand for shady, backstairs deals and if Asda puts up a higher bid than a re-incarnation of the Blue Knights then Asda it is. King might think he's going to snap up Bisto FC for a song but there'll be no crooked Duff-and-Phelps type deals this time! I wonder if the new superstore on the site will use the slogan, Now, Then, Forever, over the entrance!

What's happened to Mick's website? I clicked on the link to Bampots Utd in my bookmarks this morning only to find the site unavailable. The same thing happened when I used the button here on my blog. I can't even get to it through Celtic News Network or Google; all I get is the 'Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage' message. What's going on; or is it just me?

And finally, I see the Daily Record is sucking up to the bigots again. Just the other day, I was in the DR archives when I came across this story http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/police-investigate-abuse-allegations-church-3198102 about child abuse in a Church of Scotland care home in Glasgow. I hadn't seen this article before and it was obviously tucked away in a quiet corner so as not to cause offence.

The last couple of days, meanwhile, have seen headlines about some guy that claims to have been abused by a Catholic priest and to have been dismissed by the Catholic hierarchy when he complained. Cue all the comments from the bigots, which have since disappeared.

Now, I'm not dismissing the guy's allegations and something needs to be done about this kind of thing, which is still going on in many institutions. It is hardly helpful though when, as part of some kind of bigoted agenda, it is made to look as if these crimes only ever happened in places run by Catholics or the Catholic Church. Quite apart from providing ammunition for the bigots, it also means that others involved in these vile crimes can hide, secure in the knowledge that this country is only interested in Catholic perpertrators.

If you think I'm being paranoid just look at the way McMurdo jumped to the defence of Max Clifford, trying to make out that his conviction was part of some kind of conspiracy. I wonder if he'd have said the same if Clifford had gone to one of those schools, you know, the kind with an ST in front of it!

'I will tell you this, I will tell you this, boy, yez better no' be messin' aboot wi' ma website. Ah don't need any-y yez. I will walk alone, boy. I will walk alone!'

 

APOCALYPSE NOW

It's getting more and more like the Book of Revelation over in Bistoland; not only have we been told that The Beast hasn't died but now Ludge Brother is turning against Ludge Brother as they all argue over which false prophet (or should that be 'profit') to follow. I'm just waiting for the sun to turn to the colour of blood over Ibrox and plagues to start spreading from Govan Cross.

Even McMurdo's disciples are arguing among themselves over the best way forward. It's quite civil just now but the split is there nonetheless. This particular split is over Sooperally. I think that they're all agreed that Sooper couldn't manage a stauner in the middle of an all-female orgy but McMurdo, along with a few others, is all for making the best of a bad job. It's all about getting to the top tier as quickly as possible and if that means signing a few 'dinosaurs' like Boyd and Miller along the way then so be it.

Some are arguing that Sooper should be building for the future and bringing kids through to either do a job or to be sold at a profit. That, however, McMurdo contends, is not the 'Rangers way'. He's right there. I don't know about the years beforehand but Souness, Smith and Advocaat all spent huge sums of money on foreigners rather than nurture talent in the ranks. So Sooperally is just carrying on the Ibrox tradition of spend, spend, spend and worry about it later.

Quite a few of McMurdo's disciples don't hold with this. Is this going to be the ongoing model: buy in players to win one league, then buy in others to win the next and then even more to try to make an impact in Europe? None of them say it explicitly, but the worry must be there all the same: this was how Rangers died. The McMurdo side of the debate, however, argues that winning at any cost is also the 'Rangers way.' Who cares about building for the future? All that matters, essentially, is stopping Celtic from reaching ten in a row!

But wait a wee minute here. Wasn't the justification for paying all these professionals to beat part-timers that they were going to be needed for the future? Didn't Sooperally say that he was building a team to compete in the top tier? Then again, Sooper has changed his mind, and his allegiance, more times than he's changed his drawers so it's hardly surprising that he now thinks he needs other, ostensibly better, players.

His big problem, though, is what the hell he's going to do with Boyd and Miller (assuming he gets them) if Bisto manages to get to the Premiership. Neither of them is going to be happy with a one-year contract just to do the job of getting Bisto out of the Championship. Assuming that they achieve this, who the hell will want to buy this pair? Miller is well past his sell-by date already and, although many may argue about how brilliantly Boyd has done at Kilmarnock, the fact is that his team is staring relegation in the face; so he can't have scored that many! So Boyd and Miller will still have to be paid while other players are brought in to cope with life in the Premiership. And then what? They'd have to go into voluntary administration just to get rid of Boyd and Miller!

It must be tough being a Bisto Kid. You're stuck with a manager that only knows one tactic: spend. Anyone with any brains knows this is unsustainable. The only other option, however, is to give your money to Honest Dave. Oh, what to do? Some are already thinking that it would be no bad thing if liquidation happened and Honest Dave stepped in to pick up the assets for a song as Green did; after all, it would still be the same club, wouldn't it? This, however, is not what would happen. They're not dealing with face-painters and paper boys this time. Can you honestly see Laxey and the other hedge funds allowing another travesty like that? Not on your life! The assets would be sold to the highest bidders, whether singly or together. This time it would be a proper liquidation. All that would be left for Honest Dave to buy would be a name. Maybe he could take it back to South Africa and see if the Kaizer Chiefs want to change their name. After all, their 16 million-strong fanbase is nothing compared to the 'global support' of 'Rangers' is it?

Another 'I blame the schools' moment on McMurdo's site. One poster is not too keen on Boyd  appearing at Ibrox but is all for Miller being parnered with Daly. He/she says, "they could compliment each other". That'd be worth the price of a season ticket.

"Ye know, somethin', Kenny? You're the most handsome man I've ever met!"

"Och, away ye go, Jon! I'm nowhere near as good-looking as you. You fill out that strip perfectly."

"I mean it. The only reason I wanted to stay at this dump was because I heard you were coming."

"Will we see if we can both get sent off and go in for an early bath together?"

"Ooooooh, Kenny!"

I think we'll leave it there.

Honest Dave and his minions have got their 'Rangers 1972' website set up and are now waiting for the cash to roll in. Just like when Green tried to suss out how many shares The Peeppul would buy, and when the Rangers Fighting Fund was set up, anyone can sign up and pledge money. This system, of course, is open to abuse. I remember a point when the RFF pledges were at a level that they could bail out half of Europe and still have enough left over to buy Manhattan. I don't think the actual cash raised reached anywhere near those dizzy heights. Equally Green 'ringfenced' 10m quids' worth of shares for The Peeppul after over £16m had been pledged. The same kind of mischief-making is going on over at Honest Dave's website. Step forward one Tim Ireland.

Tim Ireland posted yesterday on the Daily Record site to tell us about his pledge to 'Rangers 1972'. He received the following reply:

"Many thanks for pledging a goat to the Ibrox 1972 season ticket fund in partnership with the Union Of Fans, we aim to provide you with regular updates about the progress of our work.

Our main aim is to ensure that the main assets of the club are secured by season ticket holders and can't be used for anything else.
In the event that the board to agree to grant security over the stadium, we will contact you with the details of season tickets which are available for purchase.
We very much appreciate your commitment to the long-term well-being of the club and for putting your trust in us.
Best Wishes.
Dave King and Richard Gough"

Wish I'd thought of that one!

"Did somebody say Yir Man was signin' dinosaurs?"

 

BALLS (AND NECKS) OF BRASS REQUIRED

Is he or isn't he? The Daily Record was banging on yesterday about Kenny Miller coming back to Ibrox to 'spearhead' Sooperally's Championship campaign. You've got to laugh at the way the DR puts it: Ally 'swoops' for Kenny Miller. It makes it sound as if there was stiff competition for his signature. It also sounds like the old Ibrox Meals-On-Wheels has started delivering the lamb dinners again. Just like in the grand old days of yore, the DR took some ridiculous Ibrox PR at face value without checking anything.

The BBC, on the other hand, did do a bit of checking. In fact, they did the easiest bit of checking they could: they got in touch with Miller himself. Miller denied that Bisto FC had been in touch with him at all and spoke of keeping his options open. So either he's being extremely coy or the DR is talking shite. And it's not like the Daily Record to talk shite, is it?

And the DR continues its anti-Bisto-board stance with a couple of articles on Mr Blobby. The Union of Fuckwits has 'demanded' that he resign immediately, saying that his position is 'untenable'. Chris Graham has a go as well, letting us know that Mr Blobby is now one of the top names on Ze List. They're all unhappy at the bonus that Mr B is entitled to, especially when Sooper and his band of cluggers aren't taking one. But has Mr B really failed in his job? After all, his bonus depends on bringing in investment, not on the team steamrolling its way through a part-time league. Have a look at this picture from the Record:

Who's that standing in front of Mr Blobby; the wee man with the bunnet? Who do you know that wears headgear like that? And, if my eyes don't deceive me, there's a pair of specs underneath the peak of that bunnet. Could it be? Has Mr Blobby trounced all his critics by bringing in the one, the only, The Bunnet? Surely he deserves all the bonus money he gets for that coup?

Meanwhile the war between McMurdo's disciples and the Union of Fuckwits is hotting up. McMurdo let rip yesterday with a tirade against the 'Rebels' that accuses them of holding the club to ransom, of not wanting to rest until the club is destroyed and of being - gasp! - Bolsheviks! He says that the Bisto Board now has to step up and have 'balls of steel' to counter all this extortion and piracy. Unfortunately it's balls of brass the board will be more interested in as they try to see how much they can get at Ramsdens for the St Etienne bike!

Uncharacteristically, McMurdo has actually allowed a post that disagrees with him. This guy is not renewing his season ticket and makes the usual accusations about the board being full of crooks. He also says that "History will prove the so called “rebels” as you like to describe us actually SAVED the club."

So now we've got two sides lined up against one another, claiming that they're going to save Bisto FC and claiming that they're the 'real Rangers (sic) supporters.' The current uptake of season books, meanwhile, is only about 3000 and possibly even as low as 2000. Given the usual reluctance of The Peeppul to put their hands in their pockets, this is probably more to do with the price going up; all this talk about spivs etc is just a smokescreen!

And they're all having a go at Richard Gough on McMurdo's website. Apparently he said, when liquidation happened, that Rangers was dead. They seem to forget that he wasn't the only one. Auld Dignity and even Jabba came out with the same kind of stuff. Later, however, they changed their minds when a bundle of tenners was waved under their noses. Maybe that's the answer with Gough; the board should have got in there first with a well-paid position for him as part of Sooperally's staff! Surely it's not too late?

Finally, I hate to say I told you so - but I told you so. Have a look at this story:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-republican-sympathiser-arrested-after-3500630

This, along with Gerry Adams's arrest and all the press publicity about the Jean McConville case isn't just about the upcoming Euro elections you know. There's a sinister drip-drip effect being put in place that will have a huge impact on a certain referendum in September. Remember, you read it here first:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Torrent-Pat-Anderson-ebook/dp/B00IO8RKDA/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394520659&sr=1-4&keywords=torrent

Don't tell him, Pike!

SUBLIME MYSTICISM AND NONSENSE

In 1815, after Napoleon had been defeated, the Congress of Vienna met to redraw the map of Europe that Napoleon had left behind and to ensure that nothing of the sort happened again. Among the master statesmen present, like Talleyrand, Metternich and Castlereagh, there was some unwanted interference from the monarchs present. Tsar Alexander of Russia came up with the idea of the Holy Alliance, a concordat between the crowned heads of Europe to uphold Christian values. Only Russia, Austria and Prussia actually signed up to it, while everyone else laughed it off. Castlereagh, the British foreign secretary, called it "a piece of sublime mysticism and nonsense".

So what the hell am I on about now? Well I was reminded of this phrase when I read McMurdo's blog yesterday. In among Biblical quotes, he comes up with the crazy idea that the divisions in the Bisto support is some kind of conspiracy to aid the independence cause. He says, "At the same time – and only a fool would believe by accident – the largest bastion of Unionism in Scotland i.e. the support of Rangers Football Club is hopelessly rent with division."

He quotes the Parable of the tares and the wheat, saying, "The analogy is that the tares may live alongside the wheat and try to pass themselves off as wheat but they are tares with an alternative life and purpose." In other words, the 'Rebels' among the Bisto support are not true 'Rangers' men but interlopers with a destructive agenda. The implication is that they are 'enemies' posing as Bisto supporters.

This nonsense is part-and-parcel of the myth that all the problems of Rangers and then Bisto were caused by malevolent, outside forces. It's the same old story we heard from Traynor, Leggat and McMurdo himself. It makes their suffering easier to bear if they can blame all their troubles on somebody else.

The mystical nonsense is continued by the posters on the blog. One gives us the story that the word 'bigot' is derived from Protestant martyrs swearing 'by God'. That's a new one! The usual tale along these lines is that the French used the name for the Normans. Interestingly the OED totally discounts this story. The truth, however, has never got in the way of the mad stories The Peppul come up with.

McMurdo is a firm adherent of British Israelism, a fantasy still taught by the Orange Order and a leading component of Neo-Nazi and white supremacist beliefs in America. With no historical evidence to back up the theory, much of the argument in favour of British Israelism relies on fallacious etymological sources. Tenuous links are shown between British and Irish languages and Hebrew, in order to 'prove' that we are all descended from the lost Ten Tribes. This flies in the face of nearly two hundred years of research into Proto-Indo-European language (PIE), from which all our languages are ultimately derived.

Regular readers of McMurdo's blog will know how much The Peeppul feel betrayed by the Church of Scotland for turning its back on bigotry decades ago. Now it seems all their religious fervour, as well as any political leanings, is all focused on Ibrox. No wonder they find it hard to accept that their team died!

Meanwhile, at the Orange Vatican itself things are getting desperate. Kenny Miller has been signed on a two-year deal and Sooperally is keen to sign Kris Boyd to partner him up front. It always pays to look to the future, eh? Apparently, Sooper has got the same budget as last year so will be looking to offload those players whose contracts are up. Cribari is said to be inconsolable; he might actually have to go out and work for a living now!

We're told that Miller has signed for a wage that is less than Peralta's. That's of course, on the official contract but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a wee side contract already drawn up. Speaking of money, Sooper is bragging in the papers about how he and his team won't be taking a bonus for winning Division 1. That's hellulva good of them, eh? Still, at £850,000 a year it has to be said that Sooper doesn't exactly need one. And I wonder how much his side contract's worth? As to his team, they hardly deserve a bonus after beating teams full of brickies, posties and the like. Our media, though, will peddle this as a wonderful gesture. The Daily Record is already contrasting it with Mr Blobby's bonus, as part of its anti-board agenda.

On the subject of being anti-board, I see the Blue Order and the Union Bears are producing their own merchandise under the '1872 Clothing' label. 'Unofficial Rangers (sic) and Loyalist clothing' they call it. They've scrupulously avoided any logos that could be claimed as infringing the copyright of Bisto FC but I doubt very much that they've got permission to use the images of Sooperally or Winston Churchill, let alone that of Roy Orbison. I'm sure the latter will be spinning in his grave at the thought of being associated with a gang of bigots. I wonder if any of the pro-board Peeppul will get in touch with the appropriate estates to grass up their enemies!

"Aye, that's right, wur gettin' in a loatta big names tae make sure wae win the Championship. John Greig's comin' in tae shore up the defence an' Big Deek's gonnae be in the midfield. If wae don't get Kris Boyd then Ah'm gonnae pit the boots oan masel'. An' Andy Goram's gonnae be in goals. It'll bae pyoor dead brulliant, so it wull! Mind you, wull need tae make sure that wae only dive at away gemmes - wae don't tae damage the Ibrox gress; no' when thurs mugs willin' tae pye fur bits-y it!"

 

HYPOCRITICAL TO THE MAX

At last McMurdo has mentioned Max Clifford, although he was probably shamed into it by everyone commenting on how he was neglecting to mention it. As he and his ilk are constatntly saying, children and young people need to be protected from predatory adults. To McMurdo and his followers, however, it seems that such predatory adults only exist in the Catholic Church. So it's a big moment when McMurdo finally admits that others, even a friend of his old man, can be guilty of such a crime. But does he?

If you read his blog there is little condemnation of Clifford in it at all; if anything, it's full of excuses. It was a long time ago, when attitudes were different, young girls dress to look older all the time and Clifford has many powerful enemies that would want to fit him up. In other words, McMurdo is not convinced of Clifford's guilt; he probably went to the wrong kind of school for one thing! It's quite disgusting, really, how he's desperate to make excuses for this revolting individual while frequently condemning others that have not even gone to trial.

A telling remark is where he says, "Also, if we are being brutally honest, the slap-and-tickle, Carry On, sexy seaside postcard culture back in the sixties and seventies was not conducive to the protection of young girls." That's perfectly true. It's also true that attitudes to child abuse were totally different. This was a time of 'spare the rod and spoil the child,' when children needed a bloody good hiding to learn anything and the teacher would thrash hell out of you with a leather belt because you looked at him the wrong way. Nobody challenged these attitudes until the 1980s.

Attitudes toward child sex abuse were also different back then. In the main it was something that everybody closed their eyes to and pretended that it didn't happen. Anyone that sexually abused a child was considered a 'dirty bastard' and a good beating was all that was required. In fact, it seemed that a good beating was a panacea for everything back in those days. I remember stories round our way when I was growing up about somebody molesting a child and being beaten to within an inch of his life. For some reason nobody contacted the police, least of all the recipient of the beating.

Apparently this is what also happened at Celtic Park. Jock Stein discovered about Torbett, gave him the requisite beating and threw him out. I've no doubt that anyone caught at Ibrox indulging in the same perversions would have received the same summary justice; that's the way they did things back then.

To McMurdo and his ilk, however, looking back at a time of different attitudes and mores is only to be used in mitigation for the chosen few, like Clifford. When it comes to Celtic it's all about cover-ups and projecting today's morality back to forty-odd years ago. Two-faced hypocrites, the lot of them!

McMurdo has one more thing to say, which is relevant to his own, slavering disciples: "Perhaps some of the criticisms of Yewtree is that it is smearing people who are mere sleazebags with the far worse label of paedophile. There is a crucial difference."

And yet, one of his commentors comes out with this: "In view of recent high profile court cases when can we expect Cardinal O’Brien to face criminal charges."

Criminal charges for what? Coming on to other men? He did not abuse anyone, let alone a child or a young person; but he's a Roman Catholic so that's enough to condemn him. It also means that he gets constantly accused of child abuse on McMurdo's blog; something that McMurdo allows and never appears to question. I wonder why?

Meanwhile, the Union of Fuckwits decided to have another one of their shows of defiance at East End Park. They flashed red cards to show their displeasure at the board; I'm sure the Easdales are quaking in their boots! The match ended in a 1-1 draw, meaning that Bisto FC's relentless march continues. A whole season unbeaten against bricklayers and the like; celebrations are definitely in order, eh?

And we've got two more climbing on the gravy train. Emilson Cribari, a player that most Bisto Kids probably thought, and hoped, had disappeared, is looking for a new contract. He's currently getting £7k a week for doing bugger all, so you can hardly blame him! If this was any other club you'd expect Cribari to be just laughed at for his cheek and then shown the door. At Bisto FC, however, they like nothing better than throwing money around. No doubt he'll be offered a three-year contract on increased terms!

The other one looking to be a new passenger is somebody that's been on the train before: Auld Pishy's friend, Imran Ahmad. He tried before to get the cash he claims he's owed ringfenced, in case Bisto went into administration. Unfortunately, the judge threw his request out of court. With everything that's been happening lately he's going back to court to try again. This time I don't think the judge can refuse his request; unless, of course, he's received instructions doon the Ludge. Can Bisto afford to have half-a-million quid 'ringfenced'? It looks like it's going to be another fun-filled summer!

"Hello, there! I'm ba-ack! I'm going to run this rancid club into the ground and then there's a certain pish-stained alky I want a word with!"

PAT, MICK AND THE IRISHMAN

I remember when I was wee back in the 60s (Yes, I'm that old!) the favourite jokes doing the rounds were about Pat, Mick and the Irish Man. Everybody realised that the characters made no sense; after all, weren't Pat and Mick Irish as well? Still, it didn't stop folk telling them. They all followed the same format: Pat and Mick would get taken for mugs, while the Irish Man always managed to come off best. They were gentle, harmless jokes: the kind you groaned at rather than laugh.

Fast forward to the 70s and the jokes had changed. Now it was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman; with the Irishman the butt of the joke since he was thick. Comedians on the telly did a roaring trade in these kinds of jokes, along with other racist jokes about blacks and Pakistanis. Even Irish comedians joined in, with the likes of Jimmy Cricket, with his L and R wellies, so he'd remember which foot went where. Looking back, there was a real nastiness about many of these jokes.

And so onto the enlightened 21st Century. You never hear any of these jokes now; folk wouldn't stand for it, even though there's still a market among certain types. And those 'certain types' were out in force on McMurdo's website. What's stirred them up this time is the story in the Daily Record about Anthony Stokes, pictured in a bar on Falls Road, speaking to, or singing with, members of a band called Shebeen. Apparently this band are all Republicans. Shock! Horror!

Cue the hatred and bile from The Peeppul. The irony seems lost on them that practically every week they stand singing their hatred of Catholics and Irish people, with not a word said about it either by our authorities or our media. The story about Anthony Stokes, then, is not about 'balancing things out' or, as the papers are trying to do with Monday night's hooliganism, an attempt at 'both as bad as each other.' The fact that the bile from The Peeppul is never mentioned means that the papers are just trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator with their story about Stokes. How come there's no 'as bad as each other' now?

Look at this comment from McMurdo's blog:

"Sadly. Republican scum sucking a holes are not on the radar for the mhedia and the plastic offended to have a full blown outcry over this.
A young lad singing a song on a train or wherever, seems more shocking."

Is this guy for real? How does he know about the Stokes 'incident'? Why, he read it in the paper! And where he gets this "young lad singing a song" crap I've no idea. I don't remember seeing anything like that in our press, do you? Oh, wait, I remember there was a story about a girl on a train, supposedly singing 'Irish Rebel' songs. Is that what he's talking about?

And another quote:

"How about Presbyterian Scotsman, singing Scottish songs – in Scotland – Hardly a reason for those timmigrants to get offended is it my friend – but, without fail; they always do."

What 'Scottish songs' is he talking about? I've never heard of anyone being offended by somebody singing Scotland The Brave! Or maybe it was somebody singing in Scottish Gaelic? Then again, any condemnation in this regard would probably come from somebody thinking they were singing in Irish Gaelic! So what songs would a 'Presbyterian Scotsman' sing? Amazing Grace, perhaps? That's right, the papers are full of complaints about that particular song.

I suspect that he's not talking about 'Presbyterian Scotsmen' or 'Scottish songs' at all. I think what he means is Orange Scotsmen, singing songs of hate with reference to Ireland and nothing whatsoever to do with Scotland at all! Either that or there's a lot of folk out there that loathe Donald Where's Yer Troosers!

And a final, unintentionally funny, post from McMurdo's site:

"typical tim posting under different non de plumes[thats names for you thick tims]."

That's NOMS DE PLUME, genius! And a 'nom de plume' does not mean 'name' it means 'pseudonym': literally, 'pen name'. For example, Eric Blair wrote under the nom de plume of George Orwell. What's that old saying about it being better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt?

Anyway, back to the gravy boat that is Bisto FC. Some guy in Australia, who bought half-a-million-quid's worth of shares in the Bisto IPO and met Green et al on their vistit to Australia, has sent an open letter to Honest Dave in the Daily Record. Apparently the guy was pictured in 2012, with a huge cheque, bragging about buying his shares while his grandchildren looked on. He said he was investing "To ensure future generations, like my Grandkids, come to know the history of their family background and why we wear this strip with pride and honour." One of those, eh?

To the Bisto Kids, however, 'history,' 'family background' and 'tradition' all come a distant second to Mammon. This guy is no different. He calls on Honest Dave to buy out all the supporters that invested. He accuses Honest Dave of trying to recoup some of his losses, but this guy sounds like he's trying to do the same. His initial investment of half-a-million is now only worth about a hundred-odd thousand and he's obviously trying to get out before the share price falls any further. No doubt his grandkids have told him where to shove his 'family backgroud' and want cash instead!

Like most Bisto Kids, this guy lives in his own wee world. He praises Charles Green for 'saving Rangers (sic) and for being the first to come up with the idea of the Ibrox team moving to England. "I’m sure I’ve heard that expressed elsewhere in Glasgow since!" he says. I'm sure I've heard that expressed elsewhere in Glasgow, and at Ibrox, long before big Charlie Chuckles appeared on the scene!

Anyway, Honest Dave has rebuffed him, saying that he's not going to cover anybody's losses. That's the first sensible thing I've heard him come out with! Meanwhile, the Australian guy bleats and moans that he's an 'emotional investor'. If that's the case, then why the hell is he trying to offload his shares to King? It looks like a lot of The Peeppul have got their fingers, and their pockets, seriously burned in this fiasco and are now expecting everybody to feel sorry for them. I've only got one thing to say - Tell it to the face painter!

"Right, some folk seem tae be gettin' the wrang end-y the stick here. Ah'm no' here tae bail emdy oot. Ah'm no' pittin' a penny intae Bisto FC. That's up tae yous lot tae come up wi' the readies. The plan is that Ah use your money tae get back in, awright?"