QUESTION TIME

Well, it wasn't to be. Celtic are out of Europe before Christmas after an exciting, if nervy, game against Ajax. Of course, The Peeppul are all cheering, calling Celtic the 'whipping boys of Europe'. Somehow, though, I think I prefer that title to that of being the whipping boys of the Petrofac Cup. I suppose they've got to have something to cheer about, even if it is only vicariously. There's not a lot to be happy about over Ibrox way, despite their, and the agnivores', attempts to pretend otherwise.

The Peeppul are also all over the stories about the Ajax-supporting thugs that went on the rampage, attacking pubs and sending folk to hospital for serious injuries. Apparently, it's all the fault of the Celtic supporters because the Daily Record saw fit to print a picture last night of some bus shelter that had 'Fuck Ajax' painted on it. There was no indication of where this bus stop was; it could have been in Inverness for all we know. We also don't know when it was done. It's only fairly recently that a bit of graffiti on a wall quite near where I live, bearing the legend, 'Sham 69', was cleaned off. At any rate, the Ajax supporters seemed to have plenty of Rangers banners and flags. They probably intended 'doing a Manchester' and blaming 'Rangers' supporters in disguise.

It was the Sevco AGM today and, as the Daily Record kept telling us all week, the talk could be about football again, rather than business. Er...isn't business what you're meant to discuss at a shareholders' meeting? The Honest Dave cheerleading squad was on hand to approve and applaud every item on the agenda; and that was just the reporters. The wonderful news is that Dave has decided to pay Ashley his £5m after all. Nothing to do with court cases or that, you understand, he was always going to pay it back and Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia. Apparently, he claims that it only took him an hour to raise the cash, which should have prompted questions about why it's taking him so long to stump up that £30m investment he promised. Of course, it didn't.

Remarkably, the Daily Record's piece on the AGM is a complete piss-take; see it now before it disappears under a hail of death threats: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/rangers-agm-2015-recap-look-6906722. There were the usual place-men to ask the right questions, even though the board couldn't actually answer many of them. No shouts of protest or demands for a straight answer this year, though. It seems that evasive answers are fine as long as you're a Real Raynjurz Man. And then they got down to the real nitty-gritty: why weren't Sevco in FIFA 2016? Presumably, this is some computer game they were talking about. With an absolutely straight face, one of the board explained that there was actually an investigation into this! No doubt the DUP raised the matter in Brussels.

At the end, Honest Dave was given a standing ovation and everyone walked out all smiles, even though nobody's any the wiser than they were before they went in. Still, there was good lighting, blue chairs and free biscuits, so everybody's a winner. One of King's closing remarks was hilarious:

"Once the Sports Direct loan is repaid the club will be debt free - clubs like Barcelona and Manchester United can’t say that."

Er... that's because no reputable bank or financial institution would lend Sevco a penny! There are plenty of folk all over the world that could boast that they're 'debt free'; unfortunately, like Sevco, they're bloody skint as well!

Meanwhile, Bomber Brown has stocked up on the Ferrero Rocher as he revels in his new role as Sevco ambassador. Hopefully a new suit comes as part of the package. Maybe they could take in one of Sooperally's old ones. His first assignment is to take part in an important meeting over in Moscow. Recent events have prompted this gathering of sporting associations from around the world, with Bomber being a guest speaker. He's taking two interpreters with him; one to translate into English, the other to then translate that into Russian. The title, and main point, of this series of seminars is, 'Cheating - And How To Get Away With It.'

And now we discover the real reason why Sean Connery was a regular at Ibrox back in the Murray days. It had nothing at all to do with switching allegiances from Celtic to Rangers. What he was really doing was picking up a few tips: http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/nov/27/sean-connery-wife-charged-spain-property-tax-micheline-roquebrune.

Some Sevvie posted on Twitter that there was a rumour that Warburton was going to lend his 'magic hat' to Santa for one night only. Sadly, that means that any Scottish weans whose town or city has a Premiership team in it will be getting bugger all for Christmas. And please spare a thought for poor wee Billy Junior this Yuletide. If his parents take the message of the AGM to heart, he'll be finding that, instead of the Sevco top he asked Santa for, there'll be nothing but a brick at the bottom of his stocking.

After the matches in the Europa during the week it's back to the more important competition tomorrow. I'm speaking, of course, about the Petrofac Cup. Sevco face St. Mirren in the semi-final, with a place in the final against Peterhead up for grabs. Ahhhh, you can't beat these glamour ties, eh? Warburton displayed his genius and 'aye ready-ness' by first mentioning the fact that he had a speech to give at the AGM.

"My speech is all prepared, a few spelling mistakes have been corrected so it’s all good!"

Why would you need to correct spelling mistakes in a speech? No wonder he needs a magic hat!

Finally, two unrelated judgments were made today. The first concerned Paula Radcliffe, who was cleared of doping allegations. The IAAF thanked Ms. Radcliffe for readily supplying samples in every competition; even when she didn't need to. The other judgment was that a certain model, by the name of Sharon Maxwell, was spared jail even though she had been driving while five times the alcohol limit. The judge said that sleeping with Nacho Novo was punishment enough.

Questions that should have been asked.

1) Why are there so many Huns with baldy heids?

2) Why are they letting in Peeppul without ties?

3) Why does Andy Cameron keep turning up at these things after being nearly lynched in the 1980s for suggesting that Rangers sign a Catholic?

4) Who ate aw the biscuits?

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P.S. Only one review so far. You've got me worried here!

MONEY MONEY MONEY

I've mentioned the 1909 Scottish Cup final on here before but it's entirely relevant to the recent Celtic AGM. Even back then there was a gulf between what the supporters wanted and what the board wanted. There was a general feeling at the time that both Celtic and Rangers were just out to make as much money as they could and to hell with the support. The 1909 final had ended in a draw, raising everybody's suspicions, so when the replay ended in a draw as well, all hell broke loose. Both sets of supporters were convinced that it was a fix and invaded the pitch, with the intention of dragging the players back out of the changing rooms. A riot ensued, in which fires were lit and the mob fought with police and firemen. And, if you've read 'A Toast to Charlie Hanrahan', yes, somebody did go outside and steal a steam roller and then smashed their way back in with it.

The point I'm making is that, for those running Celtic, the bottom line has always been about £ s d. Since its inception, Celtic was subjected to sectarian and racist abuse in the press; Celtic said nothing. Referees, and other officials, made sure that decisions went against Celtic; Celtic said nothing. Only when Fergus McCann was around was any effort made to stand up for the club. Now, when it transpires that Rangers cheated all those years, Celtic, again, says nothing. In fact, for all the 'Rory Bremner' jokes, the Celtic board has made it plain that it considers Sevco to be 'still Rangers' and they want this club 'back' in the top tier. It's still all about the money.

It's hardly surprising, then, that we end up with Tories at the top table. It's stomach-turning to think of some cold-hearted, Tory bastard, who supports robbing the poor to make the rich even richer, sitting on the board of our club, but, really, there's nothing much anyone can do about it. Businesses, unfortunately, aren't democratic and all the agitation and petitions in the world will probably just entrench the board's position. It underlines neatly how out of touch rich people are with the real world, even if they're running a football club. They'll make appropriate noises about traditions, the supporters, the history of the club etc. etc. but, essentially, all they're interested in is money. We can only be thankful that we don't have a crook, like King, or a fraudster, like David Murray, in charge.

The behaviour of Ian Bankier, however, is a different matter entirely, although it's hard to find out what the man actually said, as the stories are conflicting. The Scotsman reports that Bankier said,

"The messages posted, in quite a few cases are criminally racist and in all cases the vocabulary chosen is base and highly abusive."

That sounds like a reasonably considered response and, if Celtic-supporting commentators on Twitter are to be believed, there have been more than a few offensive messages regarding the fact that Ian Livingston happens to be Jewish. If that truly is the case, then Bankier was quite right to point it out and the messages are far more disgusting and disturbing than his remark. Do we want to pretend that there were no racist tweets posted if, in fact, there were? Remember, we're not Huns!

The Daily Record, of course, decided to add some fuel to the fire. An extra, wee, sentence, made all the difference to the meaning of what Bankier is supposed to have said:

"This personal campaign against Lord Livingston is criminally racist."

If Bankier did say this then it is a slur against all Celtic supporters, who have been campaigning to get rid of Livingston purely on the basis of his vile political views. If he did not, then the Record is guilty of libel; after all, they put quotation marks round that sentence and reported it as his actual words. What happens next is entirely up to the Celtic Board. If they're claiming that the DR is lying, then let them sue. If they do nothing this time then it's practically an admission of guilt. Do they really want to alienate the whole support?

Speaking of lies in the media, if they're not lying then they're failing to report things that don't fit with their agenda. There was a minute's silence at all grounds at the weekend for the victims of the attacks in Paris. Not that you'd be aware of this if you go round the various media outlets' reports on Scottish matches. Usually, all we hear and read about is how impeccably such silences are observed, with the exception of one team. It was only two weeks ago that the media were full of condemnation of Celtic supporters, who demonstrated (outside the stadium, as our media failed to mention) against the Remembrance commemoration. So why no mention of the impeccably-observed minute's silence at Celtic Park on Saturday? You'd think they'd be desperate to contrast it with the situation a fortnight ago. Something must have happened to shut them all up.

I've heard a rumour that The Peeppul were, shall we say, less than respectful when the minute's silence was observed at Livingston. This is just a rumour, mind, but it would certainly explain how quiet our media is about the minute's silence. You'd think they'd be praising Scottish football to the heavens; after all, they've got French flags all over the place and even telling us how great the bigots of Larkhall are with their anti-ISIS sign. It's strange how they're so reticent about the minute's silence, then. The only reason possible is that the rumours are true. No doubt some of The Peeppul suddenly remembered the story of the St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre or some such thing. On a related note, I wonder how many flags we would see on newspaper banners, and on Facebook and the like, if ISIS were to attack Dublin! 

Meanwhile, there have already been disgusting, physical attacks on Muslims in Scotland, including one poor man being beaten half to death in Fife. Of course, the police are investigating these hate crimes, but the Deputy Chief Constable of Police Scotland had the following to say:

"We have noticed a number of incidents that are a direct result of what happened in Paris last Friday. They would not have happened if that (sic) attacks hadn’t happened."

Now, that sounds to me as if it's excusing all the bile and violence that's being directed toward Muslims in Scotland. The Daily Record forum is particularly shocking and many folk have abandoned all pretence of not being racist. There are idiots complaining that they can't get a council house but refugees are being housed with no problem. I don't know exactly where the refugees are being housed in other areas, but, in Ayrshire, they're all being put in Stevenston. I apologise if you happen to live there, but the place is a fucking dump! As I said to one clown on the DR forum, if he approached the council in Ayrshire and was prepared to accept a place in Stevenston, they'd bite his hand off and hand him the keys there and then! The way these racists go on, you'd think that the refugees were all being housed in Troon, Milngavie, Jordanhill, Barnton and Cramond.

Because of the reports about Bankier, many Huns are accusing Celtic supporters of posting this filth. It's easily checked, though. The ones that are berating Muslims and moaning about refugees can usually also be found elsewhere on the Daily Record, keeping the Big Lie going and defending the Cheating Years as best they can. I can see comments being banned again. Although the DR agrees with most of the shite The Peeppul post on their forums, it can't be seen to be agreeing. 

Which brings me onto the new argument against stripping the titles. Apparently, if a player is ineligible to play for his club, then he's also ineligible to play for his country. This would mean UEFA and FIFA going over past results with a fine-toothed comb. There's one glaring flaw in this argument: what the fuck did Scotland win during the Cheating Years? In fact, when the hell has Scotland ever won anything? I'm afraid they're going to have to come up with a lot better excuse than that! No doubt The Peeppul will be comparing Rangers squads to World Cup and Euro winning teams as we speak!

And Sevco 'missed out' on signing James Eustace, who has cited family problems as his reason for pulling out of 'negotiations'. Sevco's loss will be...well...somebody's gain, I'm sure. Never mind, according to Gary Ralston, 'Warbie' is going to have some difficult decisions to make come January. Does he stick with the shite he's got or 'splash the cash'? The question needs to be asked: what cash? And as for 'splashing' the only splashing we'll see is the continual ejaculation of our agnivores when it comes to discussing their new club.

Jackson, meanwhile, does his bit for 'the cause' by trying to focus attention on Celtic. He bangs on with undisguised glee about the Livingston and Bankier affairs. His hope seems to be that this story runs and runs; anything to divert attention from the Cheating Years and the Tainted Titles. Oh, and Peter Lawwell has apparently 'backed himself into a corner' by voicing his support for Ronny Deila. Has anybody ever heard a club chairman say anything different about a current manager? Even Sooperally was praised to the sky and backed to the hilt by everybody that took on the poisoned chalice at Ibrox. As for what Lawwell actually said about Deila, it's not as if he claimed that he's a billionaire with wealth off the radar, is it, Keef?

Finally, the Sunday Mail yesterday was full of wailing and gnashing of teeth. It seems that Scottish football is in crisis. Can anyone remember a time when it wasn't? As far back as I can remember this has been a common theme in our sports media. I recall old 'Candid Cameron' going on about this, as well as Jimmy Sanderson and even Jabba. I have no doubt it goes even further back. In the 1970s somebody had a bright idea. "Wull hiv a smaller toap tier. That means the big teams kin play each other merr. That'll bring the punters in!" Now it's, "Wull hiv a bigger toap tier. That means aw the teams playin' each other less. That'll bring the punters in!" What a waste of bloody time!

There's only one thing that's going to save Scottish football. More and more disillusioned punters are going to abandon the game unless a clear message is sent out that cheating will not be tolerated and be punished. The only way to ensure this is to strip the titles and trophies of proven cheats. The 3rd of December will do nicely!

Ian Bankier yesterday.

"I'm free!"

Naw, yer no' oot the jile yit, pal!

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BIG O'TREY

I use AOL as my home page, mainly because I used to be with them so I'm used to it. They display links to the latest news stories but I guess they don't employ journalists because they tend to just regurgitate what's in the papers. I suppose they just trawl newspaper websites to find something interesting, get somebody to rewrite it to make it look like their own work and Robert's your da's brother! One of the links they had yesterday said, 'Football Club Told to Improve Pay.' That sounds like some official pronouncement against a team badly underpaying its staff. You've probably already guessed which team the story is about. Click the link and the headline says, 'Celtic urged to pay living wage to club staff. MP puts pressure on the club.'

You can just imagine the reaction of folk reading this in England. 'Bleedin' Jawks! One club robs the taxman and another robs its employees!' In fact, it was an MSP, not an MP, that was calling on Celtic to pay the Living Wage. The story makes it look as if Celtic is the only club in the whole of Britain that's not doing this. Of course, the story comes from the Daily Record. It's what our agnivores in the Scottish media call 'balance'. Things are bad for Rangers and Sevco at the moment so it's only 'fair' that they print something bad about Celtic; even though not paying the Living Wage probably applies to every other club in the UK, apart from Hearts. But when did facts ever stand in the way of our agnivores and their agenda?

It's not the first time the cowards in our media try to 'balance' things and it won't be the last. It's the same with Nil By Mouth, who are too craven to actually point the finger at the bigots. Again, they try to achieve 'balance' by making stupid claims that the word 'Huns' is sectarian and bigoted, as well as trying to make out that calling folk that sing The Sash 'Dirty Orange Bastards' are somehow prejudiced against Protestants. That's like saying that black people in America are racist if the say anything about the KKK. It's this cowardly inability to actually do something about bigotry that allows it to keep happening.

The Daily Record has actually gone further than that and has decided to wallow in the filth of Orange bigotry itself. How else to explain the editorial decision to publish Alex Mooney's disgusting article, which tried to accuse everybody wanting the Tainted Titles stripped of bigotry and hatred. Moving on, he said, would 'infuriate the self-proclaimed, proud ‘bampots’ on social media toiling away 24/7 in pursuit of justice for Scottish football.' He also says that us 'bampots' believe that 'the Protestant establishment club cheated on an industrial scale and the corrupt SFA and mainstream media were in cahoots in a whitewash.' In other words, the call to strip the Tainted Titles is motivated by sectarian hatred. I wonder what the supporters of other teams have to say about that.

While following this particular point of view, it's strange that all of our media has completely ignored the campaign to get Celtic stripped of titles and honours. A sad, wee man has been beavering away in Belfast to desperately try to discover something, anything, that he can use in his endeavours to bring down Celtic. He's well-known at Glasgow City Council for bombarding them with FOI requests. And what does he do with all his collected works? He hands them over to his 'friend' at Stormont. It doesn't take much investigation to find out who this 'friend' is. At one point they were all excited on McMurdo's website when PZJ, the sad Belfast man in question, announced that his MP 'friend' was asking the Chancellor at Westminster to investigate Celtic as part of the Government enquiry into the Co-Op Bank. All I had to do was look at Hansard to discover that this MP was our old pal, the Derry Dinosaur Jockey, Gregory Campbell. Campbell has shown himself, on numerous occasions, to be obsessed with Celtic. In fact, most of his time at Stormont is spent demanding that Creationism is taught in schools, while his time at Westminster is devoted to Celtic.

His DUP colleagues are similarly obsessed, especially the ones in the European Parliament. They've been badgering UEFA, the EU and the EC for years now about every wee thing they can dream up about Celtic. PZJ's collection of 'investigations' was a godsend to these people. Soon, they had persuaded the EC to look into the matter. Our media reported that Celtic was being investigated by the EC, but they refused to disclose who was behind it. It's not as if it's hard to discover; I'm no investigative reporter, but I found it easy. The only conclusion to be reached is that our media don't want to disclose this pathetic campaign. The most likely reason for that is that they agree with it.

So, while accusing all us bampots of being bigots, our media is quite happy to cover up a filthy, sectarian campaign against Celtic. This is tantamount to collusion. I think more needs to be done to let our agnivores, and The Peeppul, know that we are aware of this. Any time a newspaper is banging on about 'moving on' or questioning the motives behind wanting punishment for cheating, mention the ongoing campaign by Gregory Campbell and the DUP. According to Hector, over on Bampots Utd, the latest attempt to get Audit Scotland involved in their campaign has failed, just like all the others. But, remember, these desperate Peeppul have been trying to drag everyone into their conspiracy. They even got in touch with Historic Scotland to try to stop London Road School being demolished. When that failed, they resorted to contacting the Scottish Wildlife Trust and the SSPCA to check if there were bats in the building! They're bound to keep on going, while the media turns a blind eye. It's up to us to let the agnivores know that we know!

Speaking of bigotry, there's a new book out, or rather, an update of an old one, in which Neil Lennon expresses his disappointment at the lack of action in tackling bigotry in Scotland. The usual cry of, 'He brings it on himself' cuts no ice with Lennon; as he points out, he wasn't the only one to be sent bullets and bombs. The Peeppul, of course, are all over the story in the Record, accusing Lennon of being a bigot. Anyone that argues back is told to leave the country. The Record allows these comments to stand, while hypocritically condemning the ones that want to deny entry to all the refugees. Doesn't the Record realise that these are one and the same Peeppul?

And the bigoted and racist shite isn't the only stuff that the Record allows to be posted on its comments section. Have a look at this:

Now, I'm no legal expert, but that looks libellous to me. I wonder if Phil's aware of that one. It was there that whole day and into the next and is probably still there. The Daily Record would be liable for this slur, since they allowed it to be posted and allowed it to remain, even though they purport to practise moderation. Meanwhile, type in the word 'titles' and your post disappears in seconds. Disgusting bigots!

On a lighter note, I'm still looking for more of those children's rhymes and songs. I'm also looking for somebody to help me. Remember when we were wee, after doing Potatoes or Eeny-Meeny to find out who was 'het', we'd then work out what the person that was het had to count up to. There was a rhyme, 'I draw a snake upon your back...' which ended with 'Guess what finger - tip, tip.' They would then guess what finger you touched them with; every guess added ten to the amount they had to count to. What I want to know is, what was the rest of the rhyme? I remember something about drawing eyes and then cutting things away - snip, snip. That's as much as I can recall. Help!

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CONFLICTED OVER CONFLICTS

Had a wee look over on Hun Media last night and it's obvious that they still don't understand things at all; or, at least, they're pretending not to. Richard Gough's tirade in the Sunday Post is being roundly condemned as a pile of nonsensical crap. Most of them realise that there's no point in hypotheses; what they want is the truth as they see it. To them, the 'truth' is that Celtic used EBTs as well, so they should be punished too. Yes, the Juninho affair has raised its ugly head again.

There's no point in saying that Celtic have already been cleared over Juninho's EBT; the answer to that is that Rangers have also already been dealt with. For once, they're right; we can't have it both ways. Their argument is that Celtic did not declare to the SFA that part of Juninho's pay was going to be in the form of an EBT. It doesn't matter when Celtic handed over the cash; the Huns are correct in saying that the SFA had no idea that Juninho  was getting an EBT. The thing is, though, that the SFA couldn't care less whether Juninho was being paid via an EBT, in ginger bottles or in fag coupons. Celtic declared exactly how much the player was getting, so the authorities were perfectly satisfied.

That's what the Huns don't get; the EBTs themselves are totally irrelevant. What constitutes cheating is that Rangers signed all those players using hidden contracts, which weren't declared to the SFA when registering the players. All that were declared were the main contracts, setting out the salaries, or, rather, part of the salaries, that the players were getting; the side contracts, hidden from the eyes of the authorities, showed the secret part of the salaries the SFA knew nothing about. Again, whether those secret parts of the salaries were paid via EBTs or any other method, is beside the point. It's the fact that these payments were concealed from the SFA and the SPL that raises questions about the proper registration of the players. Nimmo-Smith said as much himself and handed out a fine.

As far as we know, Juninho had only one contract. If it were to transpire, if you'll forgive me for speaking hypothetically, that there was a side contract, then I, for one, would be perfectly happy for every game Juninho was involved in to be adjusted to a 3-0 defeat for Celtic. To be honest, I wish it would turn out that this was the case so we can hear all the Huns sticking up for Celtic and demanding that their results are left alone!

I remember Sooperally saying in 2012 that he was 'perplexed' about the decision that Celtic had no case to answer. Well, let's call his, and the rest of the Huns' bluff, and agree that Juninho's EBT should be looked into along with all those used by Rangers. We can also look into the little matter of 'sporting advantage' and forget all that shite about titles being 'won on the pitch'.

It's quite sickening to read ex-players and managers accuse us all of being wrong-headed in the pursuit of justice; from Derek Johnstone's jibes about crawling out from under rocks to Craig Burley calling us 'utter cretins'. According to all these media commentators, we're nothing but insane obsessives. Isn't it funny how not one of them ever have anything to say about Gregory Campbell's continuing campaign against Celtic. He, and his sad chum, PZJ, are still looking into their imagined 'State Aid' to Celtic FC from Glasgow City Council and others. All this will, yet again, be brought before the European Commission. To what end? Surely they don't want the stripping of titles that were 'won on the pitch'?

Another flawed argument still doing the rounds is the old one about the Kellys et al downplaying the crowds at Celtic Park in order to skim off the top of the gate money. Whether this really went on or not we don't know, but if it did, it was hardly to the benefit of Celtic, was it? If true, then the old owners of Celtic were actually swindling the club, as well as the taxman; something The Peeppul now accuse Craig Whyte and Charles Green of doing. What they seem to forget, of course, is that Sevco has nothing to do with it; as they are fond of saying, it's all about Rangers! David Murray wasn't swindling the club; if anything, he was swindling everybody else in order to help his pet project. That's what The Peeppul don't seem to get. It's got bugger all to do with swindling money from the taxman or anybody else; it's what that money was used for. In Rangers' case it was used to give them a sporting advantage that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to afford.

I must admit that the events of the last few days have left me rather confused and conflicted. Terrorism comes in all shapes and sizes and can be carried out by nations as well as organisations and individuals. The carpet-bombing of Dresden during the war was to frighten the German people into being against the war, while thousands of civilians were killed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki to terrify the Japanese into surrendering. The rights and wrongs of these events can be debated endlessly, as can the lives that were purportedly saved by shortening the war. One thing is not up for debate, however; these were acts of terrorism by definition. It seems, though, that these were okay, as they were carried out by the 'good guys'.

In the 1960s and 1970s terrorism had a new face; in fact, many new faces. The Baader-Meinhoff Gang, or the Red Army Faction as it became, shot people, blew up buildings and hijacked aircraft and never seemed to be out of the news. At the time nobody bothered to question why they were doing what they were doing; they were just a bunch of Communist crackpots and criminals. It was only later that we learned what had inspired them. They were part of a generation that had grown up in West Germany, believing that Nazism was a thing of the past. Discovering that their own parents and most people in authority had been part of Nazi Germany left many young Germans confused and angry. It seemed they were living a lie and that the Fascists were still in power. Considering their beliefs, can they be considered 'good guys' as well?

There were three other organisations that came to the fore during this period: the PLO, ANC and the IRA. All three were fighting for equal rights in their own lands and felt that all other avenues had been exhausted. So: terrorists or freedom fighters? It all seems to depend. The world partied when Nelson Mandela was released, even though he was what would be termed a terrorist. To many in the western world, the PLO and the IRA are symptoms of oppression and terrorism carried out by states. This is not just a left-wing/right-wing divide. Many right-wingers in the USA supported the IRA all through the Troubles and conservatives throughout the world are becoming embarrassed at the actions of the Israelis. Again, though, it's all about who you consider to be the 'good guys'.

And now we have a new strain of terrorism and everybody's lining up to condemn it. Yes, innocent people have died, but the same can be said about the activities of the PLO, the ANC and the IRA, as well as the British in Dresden and the Americans in Japan. Like before, though, it all depends on who you see as the 'good guys', which nobody views the Islamic State as being. Now I'm not condoning what ISIS did in Paris and I'm certainly no advocate of Islamic fundamentalism, or any other kind of fundamentalism either, but look at how France has reacted to what happened. Contrary to what most folk seem to believe, the ISIS lot aren't wandering about the desert on camels, brandishing scimitars. They'll have radar and satellite systems that gave them ample warning about the French air strikes and the ISIS leaders would have had plenty of time to get well out of the way or into secure shelters. The ordinary Syrians will not have been so lucky. So what was the point of the air strikes? I don't really know. What I do know, however, is that it's another act of terrorism. Remind me again; who are the 'good guys'?

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GET THOSE MEDALS STRIPPED AS WELL!

I came across a site yesterday; I think it was somebody on Twitter that posted a link to it. It's the website of chartered accountants BKL, who have more than a passing interest in the use of EBTs. According to this site, HMRC pursued a less tortuous and more direct and common-sense approach at the Court of Session, which elicited a direct and common-sense judgment. The argument was that if a company pays an employee's remuneration to his wife, then it is still a payment of earnings and, therefore, taxable. The same argument applies if the payment is made to someone else, including an offshore account. It doesn't matter what happens afterwards, whether it was passed onto the employee in the form of a 'loan' or whatever; the fact is that as soon as the money is paid it is taxable. The Court of Session agreed.

Since the employer is responsible for PAYE then this leaves Rangers up shit creek. They dodged paying tax deliberately and HMRC wants its money. According to BKL, however, all the players that received such roundabout payments can rest easy. Employees are given credit for PAYE contributions, whether they are made by the employer or not. There are only two circumstances where the employee has to stump up. The first is where the employer failed to pay the tax due to a genuine error or oversight; something which hardly applies in the case of Rangers. The second is when the employee was well aware of what was going on and, indeed, colluded in the non-payment of tax. BKL seem to think that the ex-Rangers employees and their 'loans' are perfectly safe. But are they?

The infamous side contracts surely prove that everybody involved went into it with their eyes open. All those players signed up in the full knowledge that Rangers would not be paying PAYE and they were happy to sign hidden contracts, which they knew would be kept secret in order to swindle HMRC, the Scottish football authorities and the whole of Scottish football. No wonder they're all so desperate to 'move on'. It's not just the Rangers titles that are at risk if a real investigation into the side contracts take place; the likes of Barry Ferguson and Sooperally will be hit where it hurts most: their pockets. They won't just have to pay back the tax they were involved in swindling; they'll have late-payment fees and fines on top of that. Sooperally will be losing a lot of weight as he tosses and turns in his sweat-soaked bed!

A lot of folk are saying that if the Tainted Titles are stripped then the players should keep their winners' medals; I say, should they hell! Get those side letters out and let's see if they can squirm out of the accusation that they colluded in the cheating. As soon as HMRC gets a court to decide that the players are liable for the tax then their medals should be forfeit as well. Cheating bastards!

A new strategy seems to be being employed by some Huns, especially on newspaper forums. Instead of screaming about being the same team, that EBTs were legal etc. etc. they try to turn it back onto us decent folk. They ask questions, like What specific rule did Rangers break?, thinking that they've trumped everyone. Here's an easy question for them: If Rangers didn't gain a sporting advantage through the use of EBTs, then why the hell did they use them?

Meanwhile, Richard Gough has been in the Sun to say that if it turned out that Henrik Larsson had an EBT during the 1997-98 season, then there is no way that Gough would want Celtic's title stripped from them. What a load of shite; he'd jump at the chance and Gregory Campbell would make sure the whole issue was shoved in front of the European Commission. Anyway, he'd better not speak too soon. As well as looking into the EBT payments, we should be insisting that the tax-dodging scheme employed in the 1990s is looked into as well. In Gough's fantasy, Rangers would have won ten in a row. In reality, they probably cheated to win their nine in a row. Much though Gough and our media would like it to go away, this issue is going nowhere.

The aftermath of the Paris killings has been entirely predictable. Miraculously, a passport was found, showing that one of the killers was a Syrian. Apparently, this was later proven to be false and the passport a forgery but that hasn't stopped all the racists and bigots starting up petitions to stop immigration and turn away refugees. My daughter, unfortunately, gets caught up in all this Daily Mail shite and was arguing that most of the refugees were ISIS agents, smuggling arms into Europe to murder us all in our beds. Now, I know the Kalashnikov is the lightest automatic assault rifle in the world but I find it hard to believe that anybody could make it from Syria all the way to France with an AK-47 up his arse!

And then we are told that there is one of the killers on the run, who is described as the 'Most Wanted Man in the World.' This character is a Belgian national and it is believed that others involved were French. So what did the French Government do? They sent planes to bomb Syria, that's what. No doubt many innocents were killed in the process, while others will have had their homes destroyed and end up as refugees. A job well done, eh? Will we now see Syrian flags attached to people's Facebook profile pictures in 'solidarity' with those innocent, Syrian civilians?

Speaking of which, it's really made me sick to my stomach to see people I know display what can only be described as racism and bigotry. As well as 'solidarity' with France, they're posting links to anti-immigration and anti-refugee petitions and, more frighteningly, links to 'Britain First'. In fact, most of the pictures of candles and calls for prayers they're posting have been lifted from the 'Britain First' website. I've even seen folk demanding an apology from the whole of Islam and accusing Muslims of being more concerned with distancing themselves from these incidents than apologising. But why the hell should they apologise? Has Christendom apologised for the 'ethnic cleansing' in Bosnia and other atrocities committed in the name of Christianity? And, as quite a few folk have been pointing out on Twitter, the vast majority of the victims of ISIS are, in fact, Muslims. Obviously, though, the lives of thousands of 'darkies' are not on a par with the lives of white Europeans.

Any Celtic supporters tempted to agree with the turning away of refugees, or even immigrants, should remember the vile Ross McWhirter in the 1970s. He wanted restrictions placed on the number of Irish coming into Britain and campaigned for all Irish people already living here to be registered with the local police. And if anyone Irish stayed at a hotel, or even rented a flat, they should be compelled to provide a signed photograph of themselves. In other words, everybody Irish was to be held accountable for the IRA bombing campaign. No doubt the scheme, if adopted, would have been extended to those of us of Irish descent as well. I remember that there were even calls from some quarters to close all Catholic churches, since all RCs were not to be trusted. Such threats and undisguised bigotry would be entirely familiar to today's Muslim population in Britain.

Finally, a big thanks to Mick at Bampots Utd for promoting my latest book. There have been quite a few copies sold now (understandably, mostly Kindle) and I hope everyone that purchased it enjoys it. Please remember to write a review on Amazon once you've finished!

Halloween Houston dictates his book to Jabba.

Available now in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.

HALLOWEEN HOUSTON HAWKS HORRIBLE HISTORY

Does anybody believe that, when the First World War started, the German Government stirred up the people to fight by telling them that they were Team Evil and were going out to slaughter everybody in Europe? The German people would have been fed propaganda about the evil French, British and Russians. It wasn't until the 1960s that Fritz Fischer published his well-researched book on what the Germans were really fighting for. Nobody has ever bothered doing the same kind of research into why the British went to war, which is why we're still fed the old propaganda about defending democracy and freedom etc. etc. For the actual soldiers involved in the war, on both sides, they had no real idea of why they were fighting. Only the passage of time and the cooling of tempers allows that to happen.

It usually takes a long time for the truth to come out and sometimes we never really discover it and can only speculate. For example, as more and more evidence comes to light about the involvement of MI5 in the IRA it seems likely that speculation about IRA attacks being inspired by the English might well be true. One way of looking at it is, who benefitted? Events like the Birmingham bombings turned a lot of people against Irish Republicanism; people that previously had been supportive. If you've started reading 'Catalyst' then you'll know exactly what I'm getting at. As I said, who benefitted? The ordinary rank-and-file of the IRA would have had no knowledge of any ulterior motives at the time; as in war, nobody knows what's going on apart from the elites.

It's always difficult to discover the real reasons for occurrences while they're still going on; feelings run high and knee-jerk reactions are understandable. The attacks on Paris over the weekend have elicited the usual shouts about Muslims, calls for air strikes on Syria and there have already been attacks on immigrants and refugees. It's a strange place for ISIS to attack; the French have always acted independently and have been extremely critical of American involvement in the Middle East. Remember all the 'Freedom Fries' nonsense? The question needs to be asked again: who benefits? As usual, it's the ordinary, innocent folk that suffer.

Back to more parochial matters and the DR reports that a 'source' at the SFA has poured cold water on the idea of the Tainted Titles being stripped. It seems that there is 'no mechanism' for trying Rangers again; 'Double Indemnity' the 'source' joked. What a load of keech! Isn't it funny how, whenever it comes to Rangers or Sevco, there's 'no mechanism' for dealing with them? They're quick enough to find 'mechanisms' when it comes to dealing with other clubs, or for finding convicted criminals 'fit and proper'. Roll on Mike Ashley's court cases!

Meanwhile, the Huns have come up with another stupid analogy, which, as usual, misses the whole point. There was much back-slapping and congratulations meted out on the DR forum when some clown came up with this scenario: a car-sales company goes into liquidation and another company buys a vintage car that they used in displays and which won many shows. The second company now owns that history, which comes with the car. As somebody else pointed out, that's not what happened at Ibrox; it was more akin to somebody buying the old car's number plates and shoving them on a new car. Chateau Charlie obviously agrees, since his lawyer was at great pains to point out that Charlie Boy did not buy Rangers; he merely bought the assets. We won't have heard the last of that failed analogy, though!

The Daily Record, I see is up to its old tricks again with its comments section. As before, all manner of dodgy ads are allowed to pass through moderation and no effort is made to remove them. It's the same for normal posts; it seems that only certain ones are moderated. I put this up the other day:

As you can see, something in my post triggered moderation. I waited about thirty seconds and refreshed the page to find that my comment had disappeared. It was later that I discovered that the offending phrase was the word 'titles'. Using this word meant that your post was immediately flagged for moderation and then was removed almost immediately. Meanwhile, all comments about child abuse and phrases like 'Torbett Towers' are allowed through and, even when reported, are allowed to remain. It just shows what a filthy bunch of bigots they have down at Central Quay.

Amid all the court cases, projected court cases, threats and desperate attempts at deflection in the past week, one piece of news was the funniest of the lot: Halloween Houston has released a book! I doubt if he himself has written it (probably Jabba had a hand in it somewhere along the line) and laughably, the foreword was 'written' by Bomber Brown, a man who finds it difficult to string two coherent words together. 'Sons of Struth Demand the Truth' the tome is called and it's being released just in time for Christmas. There are going to be a lot of disappointed Hun weans on Christmas Day when they find that in their stockings; not to mention the sheer terror they're going to experience when they see that face leering out at them from the cover! And a wee word to Monti; Houston's book is 80,000 words, which is about the same as most of my books. Houston's book, however, is selling at a hefty £12.99, which makes my prices seem positively bargain-basement.

It looks as if it's a heart-wrenching tale of a man's struggle to get his new club out of the hands of spivs and shysters and into the hands of...er...spivs and shysters. It's a tale of bravery, tenacity and triumph over adversity. He apparently lost his cleaning business and suffered depression as he, and his convicted drug-dealer friend, attempted to oust the folk that were actually putting money into the new club. Read how he lost his long-term love interest when she finally got round to going to Specsavers and his estrangement from his children as he switched the light on too quickly one night when they were in bed and they ran off screaming about the 'Bogey Man'.

Thrill as Houston tells how he stood up to the gangster, Sandy Easdale, by bombarding him with e-mails. Smile as you read how Houston and his mob made Mike Ashley cry when they stopped getting the weans' school clothes from Sports Direct. Feel the rush of adrenalin as Houston's crew bravely take on an old man at Ibrox Stadium. All this and more in what critics are calling the best read since Leggat's last book.

Finally, I was serious about those songs and rhymes, you know. I got a good one from Gerry Creaney but I'm still looking for more. Come on. You must remember at least one! And if your memory continues to fail you, ask your weans!

"This book of Halloween Houston's is the best thing you'll ever read. And you know you can trust me; I'm as honest as the day is long...in Alaska in the middle of December."

And don't forget a really decent read:

 

 

Available at Amazon now, in paperback and Kindle.

WAGONS-HO!

The wagons have gone into laager down at Central Quay. All leave has been cancelled and the midnight oil is being burned so much that they're down to running on fumes. Meanwhile, they're all bleary-eyed and buzzing on gallons of Nescafe. Some of them haven't slept for days and you can smell the fear and panic all round Glasgow and beyond. Nobody is going to take the Huns' tainted titles on their watch!

The main things happening in Scottish football this week are Chateau Charlie taking Sevco to court to pay his lawyers' bills and Mike Ashley ready to do the same with the SFA for declaring a convicted crook 'fit and proper' to run Sevco. Those are the big stories; but not in the Daily Record. The big stories, as far as the DR is concerned, are the Celtic AGM, which actually doesn't take place this week and a man wanting a plaque on the exterior of Celtic Park to honour his grandfather, who was a star player for the Bhoys and who died in WWI. Apparently, big, bad Celtic won't put the plaque at the front entrance. If you read the story, though, you'll see that nobody has actually turned the request down; they're still looking into it. To read the DR's article you'd be forgiven for believing that any such plaque would be torn down by angry supporters, even though the DR knows full well that this is a pile of shite.

As for the Celtic AGM, we're given a 'tongue-in-cheek' account of what's going to happen. Fun is poked at the resolution to get the living wage paid; both at the fact that Celtic currently don't pay the living wage to some workers and to the probability that Dermot Desmond, with his majority shareholding, will simply brush aside anything he doesn't agree with. Of course, the AGMs of every other football club in the land, including that of Sevco, are run on a one-man-one-vote basis! And then we've got the 'obsession' with all things Ibrox, wanting titles stripped and an explanation of why Rangers were allowed to play in Europe in 2011. Strangely, the Record never reports on the ongoing, sleekit campaign to convince everyone that Celtic has been the beneficiary of state aid, even though this isn't just the work of some internet blogger; a whole political party is involved.

This supposed obsession is also the theme of Johnathan McFarlane, the Record's fat Sevvie blogger. In a desperate, and disingenuous, tirade he states that the EBT debate had 'jumped the shark'. This, of course, suggests that the debate is going nowhere, which is wishful thinking on the part of Johnahun McFatyin. 'Where is the rule about EBTs in the rulebook?' he demands, while follow-following the well-worn path of 'Hasn't our team suffered enough punishment?' What punishments? Neither the old nor the new club have actually been punished at all, apart from a fine that they refuse to pay. Then we've got the Uncle Tims, who seem to be lining up to absolve the old, dead club of all sins. All-in-all it's a rather disgusting little piece.

The Peeppul at large are grabbing at any straw that happens to drift by. (I read a comment the other day where somebody said that they're like a scarecrow wanking; they're clutching at straws! That's the kind of saying that deserves to be encouraged.) One of them on the DR forum said that the SFA accepted the registrations as-were at the time, so they can't later accuse Rangers of withholding information. That's really scraping the bottom of the barrel, that one!

Most of us, at some time or another, have probably signed on the dole, even if it was just during the holidays while at college or university. You literally did (and imagine still do) sign a declaration that you have done no work for the past fortnight. The DWP, or DHSS as it used to be, processed this and sent you your unemployment benefit, supplementary benefit, income support or whatever else it was called at the time. If it was later discovered that you lied on your declaration, you could hardly turn round and say that they have no case since they accepted your declaration. Only in the world of The Peeppul could this make sense.

All this desperate deflection, however, is going to do them no good. I've read plenty of Huns threatening to boycott all grounds, apart from Ibrox, if the stripping goes ahead. Seemingly, everyone's scared of losing the 'Blue Pound' so will cave in to these threats. If, however, nothing is done about Rangers' cheating, it's quite possible that the supporters of every other team in Scotland will decide that there's no point in it any more. If the blatant cheating of Rangers is ignored then what's to stop the same thing happening again with Sevco. So if our football authorities want to act out of purely economic considerations they're going to have to choose between some ridiculous 'Blue Pound' or the real money of the majority of football fans. It's an easy choice to make but, then again, this is Scottish football we're talking about!

Staying on the subject of tax dodging, this coming Friday sees the annual, televised gathering of Tax Avoiders 'R' Us, better known as 'Children In Need'. Bernadette Murray was voicing my words in 'Catalyst' and this celebrity back-slapping festival makes me sick to my stomach. It's an utter disgrace in this day and age that there's any such thing as children in need. It makes it even worse when you get mega-rich folk, who do everything they can to avoid paying tax, vote Tory and are, consequently, responsible for any children that are in need, get paid to tell us to put our hands in our pockets. They can shove their Pudsey Bear where the sun doesn't shine.

Finally, I was talking with my wife the other day about songs and rhymes we used to sing and chant back when we were children. I don't mean the 'Ally-Bally-Be' stuff; I'm talking about the ones we used to enjoy when there were no adults about. I can give a couple of examples. First a song that you probably recognise.

Diz yer maw drink wine, diz shay drink it aw the time?

Diz yer maw drink gin, diz shay drink it oot a tin?

Diz shay get a funny feelin' when ur fanny hits the ceilin'?

And my favourite rhyme:

Auld King Billy hud a ten-fit wullie

Ay showed it tae the wummin next door.

Shay thoat it wis a snake, so shay hut it wi' a rake

An' noo it's only five feet four!

There are probably dozens that I've forgotten and it would be good to hear them again, as well as ones that I never knew. There are plenty of books out there with shovin' yer granny aff a bus etc. but I think it would be a good idea to save these 'dirty' songs and rhymes for posterity. If you've got any, please send them to me at andersonpat43@gmail.com. Or you can even post them on here!

"What are you complaining about? The game was won fairly and squarely on the pitch!"

Available now in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.

SOME GAVE ALL, SOME GAVE BUGGER ALL

Imagine, if you will, somebody that has found himself a good, well-paying job but he continues to claim benefits for being unable to work. Like everybody in this situation, he'll get caught out eventually and be prosecuted. The court will hear how the swindler funded a lavish lifestyle with his ill-gotten gains, including holidays and flashy cars. Then it's time for the defendant to take the stand. His argument is that he was paid well and could have afforded all those luxuries without stealing any benefit money. The judge would be banging his gavel all day trying to stop the laughter reverberating round his courtroom.

This is the defence that The Peeppul and their friends in the media are trying to put forward. That David Murray could somehow have afforded all these big-bucks players without recourse to cheating the tax man. Like the wee man up on a charge of pauchlin' benefits, it doesn't matter one bit what you could've afforded; the fact is that you stole and that's the end of it. "But...but...but ye cannae take any titles unless ye kin 100% prove that Rangers only won they titles because-y aw they big players!" This stupid extension of the 'could've' argument is easily refuted. If all those big stars didn't make a difference, then why the fuck did Rangers sign them?

The fact is that the misuse of EBTs wasn't the only shady business practice going on at MIH and its subsidiaries. I knew somebody that worked at MIH in the 1990s and there was much shuffling of money around different accounts to make the books look better. Money in the Rangers account would suddenly disappear to show up in another business's account and then it would magically reappear. The truth is that Murray never had the money the Peeppul still seem to think he did. Even though the whole fantasy came crashing about Murray's head, they still believe that he had plenty of cash to throw about. Part of the massive debts of MIH, remember, was a huge £100m of Rangers' debts that Murray 'absorbed' into his parent company. MIH also underwrote the undersubscribed share issue as well.

Then we get down to the real straw clutching. It was Hector, over on Bampots Utd, who pointed me in the direction of the Copland Road blog. The sheer desperation of some of the folk on there is pathetic. One writer cites Dermot Desmond paying the wages of Roy and Robbie Keane as an example of financial doping! Things are really bad when that's the best they can come up with. The next thing they'll be saying is that the titles and cups shouldn't be stripped because The Peeppul and their old team always wore poppies!

But there's another but, according to The Peeppul. Nimmo-Smith has already decided that 'no sporting advantage was gained.' This was unbelievable at the time and it is still beyond belief now. In fact, the side letters, which were kept hidden from the SFA, are ample proof that all those players were not registered properly; which, of course, means that Rangers cheated to gain a sporting advantage. The LNS enquiry was nothing more than a whitewash, for which the SFA in particular is at fault. Their ridiculous assertion that because the players were registered, as they thought, properly then there was nothing they could do about it. It was more the case, however, that there was nothing they would do about it. The whole affair was a parade of lies and obfuscation, with Nimmo-Smith himself doing what he was paid to do; refuse to admit that Rangers gained any advantage. It was a flawed decision and the whole thing has to be looked into again. Not at the moment, though; it has to wait until we see if there's going to be another appeal by either Murray or BDO. No enquiry should have been held back then and none should go ahead now until it is evident what the final judgment is on the legality of Rangers' use of EBTs.

The statement on the Sevco website about 'moving on' is pretty much tantamount to an admission of guilt. Why else would they want the whole thing brushed under the carpet? The stuff about Scottish football suffering in recent years is the most disingenuous thing I've seen in years. Who was it caused the suffering? Which club nearly bankrupted Scottish football as everyone tried to keep up with it spending money, which, as it turns out, it didn't have? The arrogance is still there as well, "Rangers (sic) cannot countenance or accept any talk, attempts or actions designed to undermine what this Club has achieved throughout its long history (sic)." They want to "reach out", apparently, and work to make the game better. Well, a start would be to give up those tainted titles and then work with everyone else to make sure the game is never sullied like this again. I won't hold my breath.

"If they get to keep their titles, can I get my knighthood back?"

Available now on Amazon, in paperback and Kindle.

LEST WE FORGET...

Yet again we've got to read about how Celtic supporters 'shamed the club' by not 'respecting' the minute's silence. It seems to have been planned these last few years that this particular weekend always has a home game at Ibrox while Celtic have to play away. This is so that Ibrox can have its annual Nuremberg Rally, while making sure that Celtic is placed in an unenviable position. It's an awkward one for Celtic fans that are against the poppy; do they stay away or turn up and let their feelings be known? Every year the agnivores desperately hope that it's going to be the latter.

The big problem with the poppy and Remembrance Day is that they've been hijacked by right-wing, almost fascist, elements in our country. It used to be about honouring the dead of the two world wars, which nobody, least of all James McClean, has a problem with. Nowadays, though, it's all about remembering all conflicts and supporting the armed forces. I hardly need to recount here some of the shameful deeds perpetrated by the British armed forces around the globe. Those deeds are the reason why many are not happy about wearing a poppy anymore.

The ridiculousness of the whole thing can be seen in the criticism being levelled at Jeremy Corbyn. Apparently, many were complaining that he didn't bow his head during the silence at the Cenotaph in London. When it was proven that he did actually bow his head the criticism turned to his appearance instead. They didn't like his shabby, ill-fitting clothes or the fact that there was dandruff on his shoulders. Meanwhile, behind Corbyn, looking, as usual, the picture of sartorial elegance, was Tony Blair. Blair sent many soldiers to their deaths in an illegal war for spurious reasons. Still, as long as he's photogenic then his war crimes don't matter a jot.

Respect. That's the favourite word at this time of year. I remember in the classroom we used to have a minutes silence at 11 o'clock on the 11th, or the next school day after it. It's difficult to get children to shut up for ten seconds, let alone a minute, especially when they're not doing anything. Quite often there would be giggles and stifled laughter. Sometimes the whole class would end up erupting. In such circumstances I would just abandon it and have the silence in the afternoon or the next day. My argument against teachers that would complain about pupils' 'lack of respect' was an easy one: they're fucking children, for God's sake!

It's not easy for adults to sit in silence either, especially when everybody around them is looking po-faced and serious. As everybody knows, the least thing can set you off and, quite often, folk at funerals nearly choke to death trying to stifle their laughter. I remember I was an altar boy at a funeral once and the wee shite carrying the crucifix was pissing me off, trying to boss everyone about. I tripped him up and he fell on his face. The metal crucifix flew out of his hands, skidded along the floor of the nave and shot out the doors. The men carrying the coffin behind us nearly dropped it as they tried not to laugh, while others in the congregation couldn't help but let out loud guffaws. The point I'm getting at is that Rod Stewart and Pixie Lott should be cut some slack for laughing during the Remembrance Day concert. This 'respect' stuff is going too far.

Speaking of respect, I notice that none of our media had any criticism to offer about the circus at Ibrox. John Greig led some representatives of the armed forces and Sevco outside to lay a wreath. There was no cenotaph available so they used the next best thing; the statue of John Greig! Very respectful that one, eh? I suppose the statue's standing outside a shrine to a dead team and Greig dished out many a deid leg in his day so there is some connection with the deceased. Usually there are videos kicking about of this kind of thing; the Daily Record normally provides a link. Not this year, though. I wonder if that's got anything to do with the fact that, just a few yards away, there were crowds chanting about hating Mike Ashley!

Once inside, there's big poppies and squaddies everywhere and no mere referee's whistle to start the minute's silence. Just in case the ghosts of the fallen have forgotten the sound, the Ibrox club fires a fucking big gun! Actually, a more appropriate instrument would be the old hooter from Fairfield Shipbuilders. They could then have a parade of soldiers carrying brushes over their shoulders to represent the weapons that the army couldn't afford because the deid club didn't pay their taxes. Oops! Is that disrespectful?

...they cheated everybody.

 

 

 

Remembrance Day at Ibrox

Speaking of remembrance, remember my new novel is available on Amazon.

 

 

GET THE PRIORITIES RIGHT

Back in my teaching days you'd often get some wee ned saying, "Ah'm no' daein' that!" when he was presented with work to do. This type was usually taken aback when I'd reply, "Well, don't, then!" He had no idea what I was on about so I explained that it didn't matter in the slightest what work he did or if he sat and learned nothing all year; I'd still get paid no matter what. I was duty-bound, however, to report to his parents when the time came that he'd done bugger all the whole year. The only one likely to suffer from his inactivity was him; it made no difference to me at all. Needless to say, after mulling things over, the ned would usually have a go and ask for help when he got stuck.

The reason I'm relating this story is that it's relevant to what's going on in Scottish football at present. The main sufferers through the Cheating Years were the supporters, paying for tickets, season tickets and merchandise. The managers, players and directors weren't touched at all; they still got their vastly-inflated salaries no matter what. That's why it sticks in the craw to hear ex-, and current, Celtic men saying that the stripping of titles is a waste of time and that it doesn't matter; it bloody well does!

Let's have another illustrative story. When I worked in Glasgow I knew a teacher whose ex-husband was a sports broadcaster on Radio Scotland. (I never did find out exactly who this ex was. I was scared to ask in case my face betrayed my disgust when she told me!) Anyway, at another school, I met another teacher who was friends with the first one; they'd gone to college together. She remembered having this friend and her husband round to dinner once. In case we get mixed up, let's call the teacher with the radio presenter ex 'A' and the other one 'B'. Teacher B's twelve-year-old son was present at this dinner party and Teacher A's husband asked him what team he supported. 'Rangers,' he replied. A few days later, Teacher B's son was announced by Mr. A as the winner of a competition on the radio; a competition he hadn't entered. His prize was a football signed by the whole Rangers team.

Teacher B thought that this had been a nice gesture and was shocked that I found it a disgraceful one. Hundreds of kids would have sent their answers in, having bought a postcard and a stamp, and would have been waiting excitedly to find out if they were going to win. Not one of them, however, was in with a chance and it took me ages to convince Teacher B of the gross unfairness of this. If she and her son had a shred of decency, they would have sent the ball back. I don't know if they ever did.

It's the same situation with the Cheating Years. If there was a shred of decency at Ibrox they'd be volunteering to hand over those titles. Strangely, (or, probably more the case, predictably) our media don't see it that way. It's in the past, they cry, time to move on. That's not, however, what they were saying last year about Celtic. They probably think that everyone's forgotten; but I haven't and you'll remember their hypocrisy too when I jog your memory. It was the Centenary of the start of the First World War and our agnivores thought it was a suitable time for Celtic to offer to share their champions title of 1914-15 with Hearts. The story was that Hearts were missing key players, who had gone off to France to be slaughtered, so Celtic had an unfair advantage. No mention at all about it being 'won on the pitch' or that it was in the past! I wonder why.

As it turned out, Most of these Hearts volunteers spent much of the season at a training camp and they were able to take part in the majority of Hearts games. But, according to the agnivores, Celtic's title win of a hundred years ago shouldn't count because they had an advantage through no fault of their own. Meanwhile, titles and cups that were won only a matter of a few years ago through blatant cheating should be allowed to stand because they were in the past! No wonder we're paranoid, eh?

If no other team wants to benefit from these tainted wins being removed, then they should just be erased from history, with no winner shown for that season. And before anyone says that there's no precedent for such a thing; there most certainly is! Readers of my book 'A Toast to Charlie Hanrahan' will be familiar with the debacle of the 1909 Scottish Cup final between Celtic and Rangers. Rather than risk another draw, and another riot, the SFA decided that there would be no winner that year and thus it stands in the history books.

In yesterday's Daily Record, one clown had this to say in the comments section, "Keep up the attacks, DR, but it won't stop us laughing at the Celtic meltdown." Unbelievably, this is under a story where the Daily Record is asking Rangers' opponents in cup competitions during the Cheating Years if their wins should be stripped. Only one player was asked from each team of the time and, to a man, they don't want these wins taken from Rangers. I wonder how the DR went about choosing which players to ask? Not surprisingly, most of the men asked grew up in Glasgow and its environs. No prizes for guessing what team these characters grew up supporting. No doubt they'll claim it was Partick Thistle.

And while deluded sections of The Peeppul think that the media have it in for them, the real deflection is continuing apace. 'Celtic at a crossroads' says one headline in the Record. Pish! To the Celtic fans that are agreeing with the agnivores' assessments, it's time to take stock. While the Record has finally decided to point the finger at David Murray for the demise of Rangers they refuse to tell the whole story; he practically brought down the whole of Scottish football. Silly money had to be spent at Celtic, and at other teams, just to try and keep up with Murray's Rangers; the consequences are still with us. Scottish football is still coming to terms with reality and Celtic is part of this. It's going to take time and effort to clean these particular Augean Stables but that's the most important thing facing Celtic and Scottish football at the moment. A clear message needs to be sent that our authorities are not going to sanction cheating and clubs need to live within their means. There's nothing wrong with an overdraft or credit from a bank but it has to stay within a reasonable limit, not soar out of control on the basis of fantasies. Unfortunately, with this work ahead of us, Europe will have to wait. Don't take the bait of the agnivores and turn on our own club; there are far more important things to be concerned about. Don't do the Huns dirty work!

A reminder that my new book, Catalyst, is now on sale. I did as much research for this book as I did for 'Fear and Smear' so, hopefully I got the details right. I had to find out things like the guy that supplied the ship to bring arms from Libya for the IRA and even who was on the cover of Smash Hits in November 1979! I hope it's a good story and that it gives you something to think about. 

Paperback £11.99 available here.

Kindle version £1.99 available here.