ANOTHER BIGOT NAMED BILL

So that's Sooperally and his Sanatogen Allstars returned from America with their tails between their legs. They crept back into Scotland and are all now curled up on the sofa, catching up on the soaps they Skyplussed with a mug of Horlicks and an Abernethy biscuit. Meanwhile, one or two facts have emerged that The Peeppul seem to have ignored.

In the Daily Record Craig Swan, a man angling for the Director of Communications post at Ibrox, let slip that the Bisto FC tour was paid for by a company called Revolution Sports Management (no, me neither). Apparently this mob pay for everything and look to make a profit from ticket sales and sponsorship deals. That'll be why the PA was shouting about two-for-one offers at the local pizza place then! Swan says that Bisto wanted to 'touch base with their massive support abroad.' Aye, right! A few old bigots in Canada doesn't make for a 'massive support'! I wonder if Revolution Sports Management managed to break even.

Another wee financial windfall comes in the shape of the money being paid by GCC for the use of Ibrox in the Commonwealth Games. Bisto is being paid the best part of half-a-million quid for this. On top of that is money to pay for the use of other grounds for Bisto games plus, I would imagine, travel costs. Compensation is to be paid due to logos and sponsors' messages being removed during the rugby sevens and, no doubt, there will be other wee bits and pieces to be paid for. What was that they were saying about state aid?

The filthy Daily Record has two stories running that make an interesting comparison. One has been there for a couple of days, the other will probably disappear after today. The first concerns the new school campus in Dumbarton, where Aitkenbar and St Peter's Primary Schools will be. The DR decides to make a huge fuss out of the fact that there will be separate entrances, disingenuously ignoring the fact that it won't be one school, but two. There will also be two staffrooms, one for each school. All of this the article puts down to the influence of Archbishop Tartaglia.

The author of the article, Bill Heaney, uses phrases like 'collusion', 'behind closed doors' and 'malodorous deal' just to let the bigots know whose side he's on. Of course, they all come crawling out ranting and raving about how this 'segregation' is the 'real cause' of sectarianism in Scotland. It's an old argument but I've never heard one of these bigots address it: why is it that there are denominational state schools throughout the world, including England and Wales, with no problems but only in Scotland is it seen as something sinister? One of these vile creatures even goes as far as to call Catholics 'heretics' with no action taken by the DR moderators.

Let's imagine a scenario where there is one entrance, one staffroom and one set of toilets for the children; you can just see what would happen then. The complaints would be that the children in the ND school have further to go to reach the entrance, or the toilets from the playground and that the staff in the ND school have further to go to get to the staffroom. The call then would be for the ND school to have its own entrance and facilities! These Peeppul are never happy unless they've got something to moan about and somebody to blame!

But why have separate, denominational schools? Well, one answer to that is that there is actually no such thing as a non-denominational school in Scotland, especially in the primary sector. The law in Scotland says that Religious Education and observance is compulsory in all primary schools and that said education and observance should be Christian. Primary schools are also obliged to have a chaplain from a local church. Effectively, this means that if the head teacher in a school in Govanhill, which is almost entirely Muslim, invites an Imam in to lead an assembly then she is technically breaking the law.

Most ministers are quite low-key and just come into the school when invited. They also put a lot of effort into making their visits interesting and enjoyable. I've worked in a few schools, however, where the local minister treats the school like his own, personal fiefdom. One school had a Free Church of Scotland minsiter, the spitting image of Donald Findlay, complete with Sherlock-Holmes pipe, who would come in and berate teachers for not teaching about Christianity 'properly.' One teacher, who happened to be a Muslim, did a class assembly comparing Ramadan to Lent and felt the full force of his wrath. "The Reformed Church does not believe in Lent!" he thundered. The poor woman had to ask me what the hell the 'Reformed Church' was! And then there were the East Kilbride dinosaur jockeys; remember them?

One individual commenting on the DR story claimed to be a member of the Scottish Secular Society and provided links to its website. I had a look and I must say that there's not a lot to choose between the SSS website and a blog by a bitter member of The Peeppul. There's nothing at all said about compulsory Religious Education in schools, nor is there anything about the indoctrination of the young by the Orange Order to make them believe fairy stories about lost tribes and chosen people. Practically the whole website is given over to attacks on the Catholic Church. This seems to be par for the course in Britain when it comes to so-called secularism. Read the website of smug, self-righteous anti-theist Richard Dawkins and you'd be forgiven for believing that the Reformation never happened. The attacks on the Pope and Catholicism make it look like the Catholic Church is still the dominant force over many people's lives. It says something when McMurdo's disciples often use quotes from these websites to back up some of their outlandish claims. Maybe a better name would be the Scottish Sectarian Society!

And the other story in the DR? Brendan O'Carroll, of 'Mrs Brown's Boys' fame, is to appear on a future episode of 'Who Do You Think You Are', which has already been recorded. Like many, including myself, he has a horror story to tell about the Black and Tans. His grandfather was dragged from his home and shot dead in front of his nine-year-old son, O'Carroll's father, who was also shot but survived. There is no place for comments on this story. No doubt the DR don't want posts from everyone about atrocities committed against their family members. The excuse would be that they don't want to encourage sectarianism. And yet the story about the schools, with its inflammatory language, seems to be perfectly acceptable, as do the comments of the scummy bigots. It's quite disgusting, really, when you think about it.

Meanwhile, McMurdo's blog is like a ghost town. The bigot-in-chief has vanished and nobody has posted anything since Wednesday. Obviously nothing could appear today; not on the Sabbath! But where are they all the other days? They must be watching the Commonwealth Games, desperately looking for something to moan about!

Finally, why is everyone that has ever appeared in a Rangers jersey always described by the Daily Record as 'legend' and 'ace' even though nobody remembers them or knows who the hell they are?

Training at Murray Park