Perhaps celebrating is the wrong word as they're all casting round looking for somebody to blame. Murray's blaming Craig Whyte and the taxman, Jackson's blaming Murray and Whyte while The Peeppul are blaming everybody. According to McMurdo and his disciples, there was a big conspiracy involving folk at HMRC, the SFA, the SPL and, of course, Peter Lawwell. Of course, the fact that the SPL, the SFA and even Peter Lawwell tried to shoehorn Green's new team into the SPL seems to have escaped their notice. And HMRC was just doing what HMRC is supposed to do - go after tax dodgers!
They're also going on about all the Raynurz Hayturz in the media. Where? I'd like to challenge any of The Peeppul that might be reading this to point me in the direction of one, just one, such item in our press. If anything, our media, our football authorities and our judiciary have bent over backwards to accomodate them; they even go along with the Big Lie and pretend that Rangers never died. What the hell more do they want?
Let's look at the suspects. The Peeppul, and Murray for that matter, claim that HMRC victimised Rangers, making it impossible for it to be sold. They point to deals that HMRC msde with other football clubs and ask why this wasn't done with Rangers. Maybe that's because these other clubs actually cooperated with HMRC and came to some arrangement. Murray and his cronies, on the other hand, refused to cooperate at all, shredded documents and offered the tax man a take-it-or-leave-it sum. Such arrogant disdain might have worked in the corridors at Hampden but not with Hector!
And then came Whyte, who is being continually painted as a crook and a charlatan. Yes, he held back the PAYE and sold the Arsenal shares, but what did he do with the money? He ploughed it into the club, that's what. If he hadn't done this then Rangers would have gone into administration a lot sooner. His initial deal with Ticketus has been branded illegal, but was it? He didn't buy the club with this money but paid off the club's debt to the bank with it. It's illegal to use a business's money to buy shares in the company but this isn't what Whyte did. Unless he mugged a Big Issue vendor, he bought Rangers with his own pound coin.
I would imagine that Whyte's plan was to use the cash from European competition, whether Rangers should have been there or not, to pay back the PAYE and cover other debts. Like Murray, he was working with a tight budget, where the slightest knock-back could throw everything into chaos. And that knock-back came in the corpulent shape of Sooperally, who proved himself as 'fucking useless' as Whyte was later revealed to have called him.
Out of all the characters in this drama Whyte looks like the only one that actually tried his best for the club, old or new. While Sooper, Green, Stockbridge et al stuffed their pockets, it's difficult to see how Whyte benefited in any way from his time at Rangers.
Not everyone agrees with this, however, and Whyte has been ordered to pay back the money he borrowed from Ticketus. Meanwhile the bank is sitting pretty with the money Whyte gave it. I thought you weren't allowed to profit from a crime, whether your own or someone else's? It would appear, however, that normal laws don't apply in this case. Surely if Whyte obtained the money illegally then the bank should be returning the cash to Ticketus?
I won't bother going on about how our football authorities bent over backwards to help both Rangers and Sevco; we already know all about it (especially if you've read Clash of the Agnivores - plug!) It's worth pointing out, however, that even Alex Salmond got in touch with HMRC to ask them to go easy on Rangers. In fact, everybody The Peeppul blame for their demise did all they could to prevent it and were there to pick up the pieces after the resurrection. The idea that everybody's been against them is nothing but a pile of shite!
Predictably, the Daily Record had another story about drunken youths running riot and fighting with the police. Equally predictably, The Peeppul were on the DR forums and on McMurdo's site asking if Jim Murphy was now going to call for trains and beaches to be banned. I bet Murphy wishes he'd kept his mouth shut now. I was right to call it Kellsiegate; the whole thing's a set-up to benefit the Loyal Orange Institution in Scotland (1876) and silence its critics. Stand by for more of these stories of drunken violence in the Daily Record.
Meanwhile the Daily Record reported on a film, made by a company called 'Freak Films,' in which various celebrities explain why they're voting 'YES'. Comments were allowed but were all subsequently deleted, apart from this one, from a frequent Orange KKK contributor, "freak films eh !!! how appropriate as it would be a freak vote if it went "yes" scots do not vote for a pig in a poke !" Not that I'm accusing the Record of being impartial or anything. No, actually I am!
Finally, Keith Jackson did a serious, arse-licking article yesterday that his mentor, Jabba, would have been proud of. In among obsequious claims that Rangers suffered a 'near-death experience' and 'somehow managed to survive,' he does a character assassination on Craig Whyte. He calls Whyte a "mysterious man whose PR flunkies packaged him up as a billionaire but whose actual wealth had slipped so far off the radar that it was hardly worth detecting". Now that would be quite a comical pun if it wasn't for the fact that it was Jackson himself that coined the phrase 'Wealth off the radar'. Whyte didn't need any PR with 'flunkies' like Jackson around!
"Hello, playmates! It's your old pal Big-Hearted Bill Struth again! What's all this I hear about tax cases? This is Rangers we're talking about here; how dare they ask Rangers to pay taxes. What the hell do they think this is? We didn't fight two world wars to pay taxes. Well...we didn't fight in the wars, but we built the warships so that's the same as fighting! And they put a Celtic (spit!) supporter in charge! For all I know he's a bloody Catholic! (Oops! Pardon my French, missus!) I'm not listening to anything he has to say. I don't care if he threw out the EBT cases - I demand a retrial with a good, Protestant, Rangers supporter in charge! Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyythenkyou!"
THE GOOD SHIP RANGERS
'Twas on the good ship Rangers
By Christ, you'd get no stranger
They kept the boat
Just half afloat
By using loan arrangers.
The captain's name was Murray
He never had to worry
The Scottish press
Would take his mess
And eat it like McFlurry
Chorus:
Bangin' on the lambeg
Wavin' Red Hand fle-egs
Marchin' wi' bandy le-egs
There was fuck all else to do!
The first mate was the sa-ame
Auld Walter was his na-ame
He spent and spent
Every red cent
But never took the bla-ame.
The second mate was Ally
He always was so pally
He was so fat
That when he shat
It filled the fucking galley!
Chorus
There was Dallas in the crow's nest
And though he tried his be-est
The cunt was blind
And couldn't find
His own cock below his vest.
Old Jabba was a ra-ake
By fuck the cock that he'd take!
He drank a keg
Of the captain's smeg
And swore it was a milkshake
Chorus
The cabin boy was Jackson
By Christ he liked the action
He had to screw
The whole damned crew
To get his satisfaction.
This daring band of corsairs
They sailed to everywhe-ere
They wrecked the towns
Pished all around
And made the folk despai-air.
Chorus
But while they sang 'The Sa-ash'
And gave the bishop a bash
They were disturbed
And quite perturbed
When they heard a sudden cra-ash.
The good ship Hector bore down
All ready for a showdown
Then a well-aimed shell
Blew the huns to hell
And left their ship to go down.
And so the bunch of fuckers
With arseholes all a-puckered
Took all their shite
Away from sight
To Davy Jones's Locker!
Chorus
"Aaaarrrr, Jim lad!"
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