DANCES WITH SHARKS

"The more you read the reactions from the media to Ashley’s position with Rangers you begin to sense the panic in their realization that Rangers might finally be on the brink of recovery or worse still a return to domination of the Scottish game for years to come."

A quote from one of McMurdo's disciples. Where the hell is he getting this from? They're really taking their paranoia to ridiculous extremes. Keith Jackson comes across as cautiously optimistic; he's obviously being careful after the last time he hailed a billionaire saviour at Ibrox. He's disappointed, of course, that Honest Dave didn't make it; after all, the Daily Record has been beating the drum for 'Real Raynjurz Men' right from the start.

So they're 'coming down the road' yet again. And, of course, this means nothing unless we're all terrified of this happening; hence the stuff about the fear in the media. The fact that, in reality, we're all laughing our arses off just doesn't seem to register with them. Scared? Aye, right!

Of course, the Union of Fuckwits are spitting blood about the whole thing. Halloween Houston and 'Legend' Bomber Brown were in the Record, going on about 'common sense'. They're apparently dumbfounded that Honest Dave's 'investment' of £16m was turned down.

Investment?

"If ye hand ower the club tae me, Ah'll gie yez 16 million quid. Ah've only goat 8 million jist noo, but Ah kin get the rest, honest! Ah know the South African authorites wullnae let mae take aw that money oot the country an' Ah know the Stock Exchange wull probably chase mae, but it'll bae awright, honest! The 8 million? Ah canny show yez enny proof the noo but, trust me, Ah've goat it, honest! Noo, if yez'll jist hiv that new share issue an' haun' me 51% then everyhin'll bae awright, honest!"

Does he mean that 'investment'?

Or what about Kennedy's 'investment'?

"Ah'll gie yez a lenny 3 million, nae bother. What? Ah've no' goat it the noo, but Ah kin get it dead easy. Ah've goat backers, 'Real Raynjurz Men', but Ah canny tell yez who they ur! Yez'll jist need tae trust me!"

It's hardly surprising that they went with Ashley, is it? He was the only one that could actually prove that he's got the cash!

Sooperally's all smiles; as long as there's somebody there that can sign his paycheck then he's a happy man. Speculation is rife that he'll be out the door soon, but the question of his contract still hangs over them like a Sword of Damocles. Can they actually afford to get rid of him? McMurdo and his cronies might go on about Ashley having deep pockets, but he's hardly been overly keen to dip into them so far, has he?

Effectively, Ashley now owns Bisto FC without officially or literally owning it. Nobody can complain about him owning two clubs; technically, he doesn't! There are rumours of another share issue, but why should he bother? He's got no worries about onerous contracts; his name is at the top of most of them! And now he's got security over Edmiston House and the Albion Car Park. Life surely doesn't get any better than that?

What are his plans for Bisto FC? Well, one indication can be seen in the revelation that Ashley changed his mind about Nash, wanting to hold onto him after discovering that he had managed to make £5m-worth of cuts. So he's obviously looking to make cuts; probably swingeing cuts. This suggests that he intends to run Bisto on the cheap, while raking in the profits from The Peeppul. He's got them sussed already: if they're not doing that great on the pitch then they'll blame the SFA, the SPFL, Peter Lawwell etc etc while forking out for Wee Billy's new 'Rangers' top. He's definitely onto a winner there!

Anyone for succulent Llambias?

 

 

 

 

 

This looks better Full Screen

 

 

And a message for Charlie Nicholas: that hole at the bottom of your spine is for shiting and farting, not talking out of!

 

 

Finally - you thought I'd forgotten, eh?

 

 

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