Some of The Peeppul are getting so desperate for answers that they're now hoping for the return of David Murray! Now that's definitely what you call desperate! So they want to go back to the days of kid-on money paying for everything? They seem to forget that at one point Rangers were in hock to the tune of 100 million quid, which Murray had to absorb into MIH. The failed share issue was also absorbed, leaving MIH heading towards bankruptcy. The banks have had to take over; banks that are owned by the tax payer, meaning that you and I are forking out for Murray's 'Golden Years.' Maybe that's what The Peeppul want; everybody else paying!
Meanwhile, McMurdo is spunking all over the place about Mike Ashley. He and his disciples won't hear a bad word against him, the same way they would listen to nothing said about Whyte and Green! And why should they listen to Newcastle United supporters? After all, according to McMurdo, they are all just 'zoomers'. One of the disciples even says, "NU fans are pretty deluded as to how important and what a massive club they are". Er...that sounds a bit familiar. Do United pretend to have players on international duty to look bigger than they are?
Michael Gannon, in the DR, has a laugh at this stupidity. Mohsni would not have been available for the Cowdenbeath match and Dean Shiels wasn't even called up. So, according to Gannon, there was only one player away on international duty; Marius Zaliukas. A team is only allowed to postpone a game when they are missing three internationalists that would have played in said match. Unfortunately, Gannon does not quite understand how these things work. Remember the players that left when Rangers died? Green moaned and groaned about TUPE regulations, even though they didn't apply to a company in liquidation. Since, however, our football authorities have gone along with the Big Lie then Bisto FC actually had a further three players on international duty: Steven Naismith, Kyle Lafferty and Steven Whittaker. There. That clears that one up!
Not that The Peeppul were overly worried about postponed games or who plays for what; their main concern was that the Union Flag was apparently taken down for the Scotland game at Ibrox. Credit where it's due, some of The Peeppul thought it was a load of fuss about nothing; Scotland was playing, not Britain. Most, however, were calling for folk to be sent to the Tower. Not only that; apparently they don't like the Saltire any more; the Scotland team are scum and the supporters of the Scotland team are scum! To them, Rangers (sic) are a British team, not a Scottish one! Complete madness, but it's going to throw up some interesting developments.
Since many of The Peeppul are showing themselves to be anti-Scottish, burning Saltires and beating up wee lassies for carrying one, I can't imagine we'll see too many Scottish flags being flown at Ibrox. (Not that I can remember ever seeing any!) On the other hand, many Celtic supporters were confirmed YES voters and I can see the Saltire becoming a regular feature at Celtic matches. Can you see where I'm going here? Where will this leave all the bigots in Northern Ireland, who claim to be Scots-Ulster? And if they end up hating the Saltire then you can be damned sure that the Republicans over there will start brandishing it, adding to the Unionists' hatred. With a bit of luck they'll end up hating Scotland and its 'fleg' so much that they might not bother coming over to annoy us all every summer. We can but hope!
Back in my teaching days I remember occasions in Glasgow when wee Billy McBilly would turn up at school with a Rangers top, a Rangers sweatshirt, Rangers trackie bottoms and a Rangers rain jacket. Despite much wailing and gnashing of teeth by the headteacher it was hard to do anything about it, since they were the only clothes he owned. The problem was that clothing-grant cheques could be used in sports shops and probably still can. So the tax-payers' money that was meant to be used to buy Wee Billy a school uniform was, instead, used to kit him out for a rampage in George Square!
Wee Billy's parents, and others like them, probably have no idea how much things actually cost. They just hand over the clothing-grant cheque at the counter and the girl will let them know what they can get. This fact has led to a lot of confusion this weekend. Sports gear is not what it used to be, especially when you wear it into bed and pish it every night, so certain items need to be replaced. A crisis loan would be sought and, after buying the essentials like Buckie 'n' Blaw, down would go the McBilly clan to buy Wee Billy a new pair of trackie bottoms for going back to school after the October holiday.
Once they're in Sports Direct they can't help themselves and start gathering all manner of gear bearing the Rangers logo. Surely they've got enough money to afford it all? Once they get to the checkout they hand over their pound coin, all that's left of the crisis loan. To their extreme embarrassment they discover that they don't even have enough for a pair of terry-toweling socks! Out they storm and Wee Billy will have to spend another while going to school smelling of pish. As other customers laugh at them, an idea occurs in their addled brains. "Wae wurnae really gonnae buy anyhin' 'n 'at. It wiz jist a protest against Ashley!"
Finally, I've already had entries for my competition to win a copy of my new book, 'A Toast to Charlie Hanrahan.' The e-mails have been flooding in and I've had a grand total of...er...two! Either the question is too hard or nobody gives a shit! (Don't bother telling me which it is!) Anyway, if you want to have a go:
In 'Clash of The Agnivores' all the chapters have names. All you have to do is tell me which chapter is the odd one out and why. There is a clue in the name of the book itself.
"Who dae Ah support in the boardroom battles? Well, Ah'll wait tae see whose name's oan the boattum-y ma pye cheque, an' they'll hiv ma full support! Abslootly!"
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