I see Robbie Neilson has been moaning about the referee in Sunday's match at Tynecastle. If that was Celtic complaining all we'd hear is the 'always cheated, never defeated' mantra. He says, "We were in a game last week where two Rangers (sic) players were booked for tackles that were far worse than Morgaro’s." Maybe he should be questioning the referee at the Bisto FC game, where the Ibrox thugs got away with murder as usual, rather than having a go at a referee for a proper sending-off.
The Daily Record hotline, meanwhile, was inundated with calls denouncing Willie Collum and deriding John Guidetti for 'diving'. The usual wit and wisdom was on display, like this example of originality and clever sense of humour: "I hear Tom Daley was impressed by Guidetti’s performance." Laugh? I thought I'd never start! Neil McCann was doing the same on Sky, calling Guidetti everything under the sun. Considering the team McCann used to play for, he's got some brass neck!
Years ago, while still a teacher, I used to organise a staff v pupils football match once a year during the run-up to the summer holidays. The pupils team was mostly made up of P7s, who relished the chance to trip the teachers up and go in with some crunching tackles. The teachers gave as good as they got and I got sent off once by the janny for a sliding tackle. One of the teachers had gone to a fee-paying school and had never played proper football before; he had been forced to play rugby, which he'd not been that keen on. Being a lot younger and fitter than the rest of us, though, he actually did quite well and scored a few goals. One time he made it into the opposition goal area when one of the boys came sliding straight at his legs. Alarmed at an array of stainless-steel studs coming for his shins, the teacher tried to stop and pull out of the way. Of course, trying to suddenly come to a halt and jump sideways while still under the forward momentum of his run caused him to slip and fall. The janny, a qualified referee, immediately gave a penalty, since it was the lad sliding in with the cold steel that had actually caused the teacher to fall.
The same is true of the Guidetti incident. Brad McKay comes sliding in with his studs in the air, Guidetti tries to avoid a collision and down he goes. And what was it that, ultimately, caused Guidetti to go down? McKay and his studs, that's what. It's a penalty any day of the week and Neil McCann knows it. I wonder if he'd have been so vocal if it had happened at the other end of the pitch!
Meanwhile, the wheels continue to come off at Ibrox; they've even had to change NOMADS again. The Daily Record delights in telling us that the new NOMAD is called WH Ireland - shock! horror! Isn't it shameful that in this day and age this can be considered a headline? In no other country in the world would this name even occasion a second glance, but not here in Bigotland!
McMurdo and his disciples still think everyone else is to blame for their woes. One clown, for example, suggests the following:
"SDM gave us away to someone who not one bit of interest in the club. Then blended with the Baron of Cardowan’s skull duggery ….well the rest is history."
How, in God's name, can John Reid be held accountable for what happened at Ibrox? They're really clutching at straws!
Another comes up with an extremely familiar argument, which I seem to remember appearing over a year ago on a certain pish-stained ex-journalist's blog. I wonder if it's the man himself, trying to ease his way back onto our computer screens.
"Any thoughts on what you think the courts might order, if Whyte’s takeover was fraudulent and, therefore, not the legal owner?
Do you think it possible the courts could annul all subsequent actions, Administration, sale of business and assets, liquidation, etc.etc.?
In your opinion, do you think it possible that the courts could order all things be restored to a time prior to Whyte’s takeover? That is, the club and debts (minus the ‘big tax debts’ and debts run up by Whyte) being restored to David Murray?
Have you heard the thoughts of any others, on such a prospect?"
And Bobby Ewing steps out of the shower...
Staying with McMurdo's Mob, Mr. Cut-and-Paste is back, letting us all know about a charity that helps soldiers adjust back into civilian life. I remember seeing a documentary about how the US army trains its soldiers nowadays. Experts in psychology and psychiatry have been involved in new methods, which involve recruits being taught that they are not fighting an enemy, but defending the innocent. Such training is already proving its worth in that ex-soldiers can more easily adjust back to civilian life. Of course, this is not the case in Britain, where the old-fashioned way is still in vogue; turn them into killing machines and then throw them on the scrapheap when their usefulness is at an end.
It's really about time the UK Government faced up to its responsibilities. It's funny how Westminster is always skint but they can always find the money to clothe and feed all those men whenever a war comes along! If somebody volunteers to go into one of the armed services then surely they shouldn't have to rely on charity when things go wrong?
Which, of course, brings me onto Remembrance Day. I'm not going to go into all the poppy stuff again; I'm more interested in the story I read in the Daily Record the other day. Apparently a woman was made unwelcome at a Scottish branch of the British Legion's Remembrance Day commemoration and she was told that her son's name should not be on the local cenotaph because he died in a 'conflict' not a 'war'! Her son was in bomb disposal and died doing that particular job. I'd have thought there was nothing more heroic than putting your life on the line like that to save others; but, apparently, not. This war-worshipping business is really getting out of hand!
Finally, did you see that nonsense about Prince Harry and other celebrities telling their secrets to encourage folk in Africa with AIDS to come forward for treatment and not be ashamed of their condition. A sense of anticipation was engendered by the announcement that Harry's secret would not be divulged until the afternoon. What was he going to tell us? Maybe he's into some weird sexual practices, or he was born with congenital syphilis, or perhaps he was going to divulge the identity of his real father! Then again, maybe it was something simple like enjoying eating his own snotters or some such. And then his secret was revealed: he gets nervous when he has to speak in public. I mean...for fuck's sake! You can just hear those African kids now, "My God, here I am worrying about suffering from AIDS and the stigma attached to it, when poor Prince Harry gets nervous speaking in front of an audience! I never knew when I was well off! Now, where's that clinic?"
Allan Johnston is declared 'Manager of the Year' for letting Bisto FC through to the next round of the Scottish Cup.
Another fine post sir and thank god you are a Celtic fan pat in saying that I think we have all the good guys .
ReplyDeleteps has monti bought one of your books yet ?
Last I heard he was considering it, Shaun. Like I've said before, who do the Huns root for when they're watching Star Wars? It certainly won't be the rebels!
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