It seems that sectarian singing, fighting with the police and causing trouble at football grounds is not as bad as speaking the truth in a match programme. Whoever wrote the programme bravely decided to go against the Big Lie and give the facts that Rangers died and it was a new team that was visiting Almondvale. The Livingston chairman, Gordon McDougall, has said that there is "absolutely no bigotry or sectarian issue or intention at Livingston." Since when did speaking the truth become bigotry or sectarianism? This whole business is getting beyond a joke!
Meanwhile, Sooperally, according to the DR, has 'hinted he could never manage any other club'. It's the way he tells them! We all know fine well that he could never manage another club; he can't manage the one he's at now! There's also the little matter of his remuneration package; no other club would be stupid enough to hand him a wage that's not a baw-hair off a million quid, as well as a bagful of penny shares! No wonder he's raking in as much cash as he can; he knows that once this gig's over then the game's definitely a-bogey!
Have you read McMurdo's maniacal ravings yet? He's in a metaphorical mood, talking about a racehorse, which, apparently, was "known throughout the world for being a winner" and was "the pride of the nation". Pride of the nation? That'll be the racehorse that shat all over Barcelona and Manchester, eh? But I digress. McMurdo goes on about this racehorse, which had now been sold to a new owner:
"The new owner knew very little about racehorses. He was a gambler and his mounting debts forced him to abandon the racehorse and the stables. By this time the racehorse was in very poor health and it looked like she would have to be put down and her stables sold off.
Things were desperate. There were many who loved the racehorse who wanted to help but didn’t have the funds. However, some who claimed to love her and who had the funds, strangely held back and did nothing. Fans of the racehorse across the world were in turmoil at the prospect of never seeing the racehorse again.
Then a man from another country appeared."
Another country? I thought McMurdo considered us all to be British, rather than Scottish and English! Anyway, at this point McMurdo's version goes off at a tangent and bears no relation to what really happened. Here's what he should have said.
The vets decided that the poor brute was finished and it would be kinder to put it to sleep. The man from another country agreed. He had the cadaver chopped up and shipped over to France to be used for burgers. The profits would help pay for the chateau he was planning to buy. Meanwhile, he bought a knackered old donkey and told everybody that it was the racehorse. Being rather thick, the followers of the racehorse swallowed his story and deluded themselves that this donkey was, in fact, the racehorse, even though they knew the racehorse was dead!
Of course, the powers-that-be would not allow this donkey to take part in Group 1 races so it was entered into various donkey derbies. The judge at these donkey races disqualified other donkeys that looked as if they might beat the pretend racehorse, so that it won nearly all the donkey derbies it took part in.
The new owners that took over from the 'man from another country' spent a fortune in training, physio and performance-enhancing drugs so that the brute would win as many races as possible. The donkey's supporters began to brag that the beast was coming back to Group 1 and would be winning the Derby before too long.
There were others, however, who believed that the donkey was being mistreated and they wanted to save the poor animal from its current owners. They all started fighting over this scabby brute that they claimed was the same old racehorse, refusing to support it or back it until it was under new ownership. Now nobody knows if the donkey itself is going to survive and the arguments go on. The chances are that the poor beast will have to be put to sleep. A greyhound is currently being purchased to take its place and they will still claim that the original racehorse never died!
Finally, my new book is nearly finished. I've been editing it as I've gone along so, once it's finished, all I'll need to do is format it and it'll soon be available on Amazon.
The book is going to be called, 'A Toast to Charlie Hanrahan' and is about life in Garngad in the early part of the Twentieth Century.
If you'd like the chance to win a free paperback copy, all you have to do is answer the following:
In 'Clash of The Agnivores' all the chapters have names. All you have to do is tell me which chapter is the odd one out and why. There is a clue in the name of the book itself.
Send your answers to my e-mail address: andrsptr@aol.com
Don't post them on here where everybody else can see them!
You've got until October 31st. The first name I pick out the hat (yes, I'm going to write them down) with the correct answers will receive a free copy as soon as it is available on Amazon.
NO TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY!
Now, then and forever!
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