THE PARTY'S OVER

Well, thank God that's over for another year and we've got the house back. Even though my daughter did the Christmas dinner (and she made an excellent job) it still seemed as if we were running about like blue-arsed flies! And there's the usual stuff: 'It's your dad so you should be looking after him,' after you've run after her relatives for years! There's always at least one argument. So back to normality; even the rabbit looks relieved! I'm obviously maturing into a miserable old bastard.

Sooperally wasn't exactly full of the joys either after his team's display on Boxing Day. Bisto FC got their usual bit of help from the man in the middle. The referee, Andrew Dallas, son of the infamous Hugh, followed in father's footsteps by favouring the Ibrox team. A penalty for an incident that nobody else saw; sounds like his old man's performance in that game in 1999! Even with this penalty and Stranraer down to ten men, as is the norm in Bisto games, Bisto still could not manage a win. Stranraer equalised and the only surprise is that Baby Dallas allowed the goal to stand!

Of course, the whole scheduling of the match was grossly unfair. Normally Bisto's opponents are either coming straight off a shift, playing the day after doing a full shift or taking to the field after a day being dragged to the supermarket, gettting the garden tidied and trying to catch up on those jobs around the house that the wife has been moaning about for months. This time, however, they had a whole day to just sit and relax before the match. Well, maybe they had the stress of in-laws turning up but that's not as physically tiring as doing a day's work. Besides, the Bisto players, for all their riches, would have been in the same boat. So whose bright idea was it to reintroduce Christmas as a holiday in Scotland? After the Reformation Christmas just didn't happen in Scotland; it was a Catholic holiday. So who is responsible for bringing it back? Sooperaly demands transparency!

As the boos reverberated in his ears, Sooperally's answer was to demand money to build up his team in Janurary. What the hell was this clown doing when he was at the AGM? He obviously just heard all the cheers and applause he got and then sat daydreaming. Didn't he hear that the money is running out? Didn't he hear that there's going to have to be cutbacks? The only way he can sign somebody is if he uses his own money. I'm sure just a fraction of Sooper's fat pay packet would pay for a decent striker!

The New Year is going to bring more misery for the Bisto Kids, not to mention the Bisto Board, who are on a hiding to nothing. All the Bisto Kids have been moaning about the waste of money, with top dollar being paid for professional players to beat teams full of teachers and social workers. They've blasted the prodigality of the directors, while, for some strange reason, letting Sooper off the hook. Now, however, they're having a go at him as well, seeing him for what he is: a chequebook manager just like his mentor. The Bisto Kids realise that there are going to have to be swingeing cuts made and they're all in favour of it - for the moment.

Just think what it's going to be like in a few months' time. If Bisto FC unload some of their 'stars' in January, that's if they can find anyone to take them off their hands, then they're going to find it hard to cope, even with dodgy penalties and playing against ten men. How are the Bisto Kids going to react when their team starts to struggle to get over the finishing line? Winning Division 1 might not be the walkover they thought it was going to be. And even if they do win, how are they going to cope in the Championship? The Bisto Kids have been banging on about how they are soon going to be 'back where they belong' challenging Celtic. What happens when they come to the realisation that it's not going to happen? Death threats and dodgy parcels on standby!

It seems like their only hope is that all the shit they think they have on Celtic turns out to be true. They can't get a knight on a white charger to come in and rescue them so they're relying on a bigot riding in on a dinosaur to fling mud at Celtic. More laughs on the way in 2014 I reckon!

Meanwhile they're still blaming Craig Whyte for all their woes. Some idiot had a go at him in a Tesco and got himself thrown out of the supermarket. I still can't understand exactly what it is that they think Whyte did to them. His deal with Ticketus wasn't actually illegal, although his lying to them about his past was. And the PAYE money didn't go into his pocket; it went to hold onto the likes of Jelavic for a little while longer. He reminds me of John DeLorean, resorting to anything to keep his factory in Belfast going. (For those of you too young to remember this guy, Google it; it makes interesting reading!) Whyte was also defrauded by Green and Duff and Phelps; so he was more sinned against than sinner.

The courts have decided that Whyte lied in his dealings with Ticketus and so he owes them £17m. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if somebody owed me money and paid me with the proceeds of a crime, then that money would be taken back to give to the victim. Why isn't this the case here? Surely the cash should be taken back from Lloyds? And what would happen then? Since the whole deal was fraudulent doesn't the club revert back to David Murray? Then, as part of MIH, a sizable chunk belongs to the tax payer, since Lloyds is state-owned and nearly a third of MIH belongs to Lloyds. Of course, this being Scotland, such a thing would never be allowed to happen. We've all just to go along with the 'same club' nonsense while Craig Whyte is hung out to dry as a convenient scapegoat.

There still seems to be an agenda afoot to make Celtic supporters out to be thugs and hooligans. The debacle over the banners on Boxing Day is a case in point. It gave our media,  the Daily Record especially, an excuse to bang on about Celtic fans letting off fireworks and breaking seats. It seems that no other team's support has ever been involved in anything unsavoury. Even Tam Cowan, while having a go at Celtic and Bisto, has been ordered to mention it. This is particularly ironic, given the behaviour of Motherwell fans at New Douglas Park. This, of course, has been completely forgotten and it's as if it never happened!

Anyway, have a great New Year. All the best to you and yours and here's hoping for a happy and prosperous 2014, with the obvious exception of Bisto FC! And watch out for those dinosaur jockeys!

The Provvy man turns up with the cheque for Ally's signing budget.