LAND OF THE DINOSAURS

There are three separate stories in the paper at the moment, which might not seem linked but, which, in fact, are. The first is Jeremy Clarkson being sacked from the BBC. Many folk are up in arms about it and over a million people have signed a petition to have him kept on. They keep banging on about how Top Gear is one of the BBC's most popular programmes and how it's a huge moneyspinner, being sold to various countries overseas. It seems that punching somebody in the mouth and verbally abusing him is perfectly acceptable; as long as you're bringing the money in. No doubt they'd all feel the same way if some guy sat in the pub all evening after work and battered his wife because she'd gone to bed instead of waiting to make his dinner!

I've never been a fan of Top Gear, even back in the days of Michael Rodd and Angela Rippon. I'm just not that interested in cars. I made the mistake of watching the modern version once; three old, middle-class blokes pretending to be cool with their shite about fast cars etc. I found it quite sad and pathetic, really. But there's no accounting for taste and the three sad, old fuckers are extremely popular, as the massive petition proves. Surely these folk can see, however, that it doesn't matter how popular you are, you can't get away with just lashing out at people. To some of us there are more important things than money; common decency for one!

In a seemingly unconnected story, the Daily Record has been crying over the plight of our poor publicans, who have been hit hard by the new law on drinking and driving. Instead of downing a pint or two at lunchtime, as they used to, folk are avoiding the pub altogether. Not only that, but they're not hitting the pub after work either and if they do, they're drinking a lot less than they used to, worried about the alcohol showing up in their bloodstream when they drive to work the next morning. It's getting so serious that many pubs have had to lay off staff and there's concern that some might to have to close down. Obviously this is something that we should all be up in arms about; as far as the Daily Record is concerned at any rate. How dare that nasty Scottish Government take the food out of the mouths of our hard-working publicans!

On the other hand, according to the police, there were a lot fewer arrests for drunk-driving over the Festive period and a lot fewer accidents as well. No doubt the Record will be complaining that doctors, nurses and paramedics are losing their jobs because of these selfish bastards that aren't drinking and almost killing themselves and others! Presumably they think we should all be drinking as much as we want before getting behind the wheel. After all, we've got to think of the economy. 

And then we come to Bisto FC. Neil Lennon has now been dragged into toeing the party line that we need Rangers (sic) 'back' into the top league for the good of Scottish football. It's the same argument we've had to listen to from the agnivores for the past couple of years. It doesn't matter how many people were diddled out of their money, or how much tax wasn't paid; all that's important is that we get more folk through the turnstiles. Mind you, considering how The Peeppul are always going on about how it's everybody else's fault and they're going to get their revenge, it's debatable whether they would actually turn up at away games anyway. Still, we've got to think of the economy.

Obviously there are some folk that can't understand that money isn't everything. And that's not the only thing that connects these three stories. The same chauvinism runs through them all. To the ones signing the petition about Clarkson, their hero embodies everything they miss about the 'good' old days. They're the kind of xenophobic, racist arseholes that think Britannia should still be ruling the waves and that Johnny Foreigner should know his place. You know the type; the kind that'll say, "I believe in calling a spade a spade," and then disingenuously claim that they're talking about a gardening implement.

It's the same with the drink-driving law. Exactly the same right-wing shiteheads will go on about 'nanny states' and the like. The Government shouldn't be legislating for how we behave. And not only that; Scotland's new law brings us into line with other European countries. Now, there's a red rag to a bull. Mention 'Europe' to these people and they'll start foaming at the mouth and gibbering things about 'Britain First' and 'UKIP'. Who cares how many lives are saved? All that matters is that we're being dictated to by Johnny Foreigner yet again.

It's easy to see where The Peeppul come into all this. Scotland, to its shame, has one UKIP MEP. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who voted for him. Again it's Johnny Foreigner to blame for all their woes, in the shape of Irish Catholics and their descendants. It's all been an evil conspiracy by the 'Fenians' to destroy their club and their 'way of life'. Even Europe is in on it; they won't do a thing about Celtic's 'state aid', even though The Peeppul know, for an absolute fact, that it's been going on for years.

So three stories, which at first appear separate but which are interconnected. The right-wing racists in the UK are fighting a rearguard action against the modern world. They can't believe that everyone they hate is being treated as an equal and they can't understand it either. Much better to transpose their own twisted view of the world onto others and see it all as a conspiracy against their 'values' and 'way of life'. If they had their way we'd still have slavery and be sending children up chimneys!

An example of this was on display at Hampden last night. A crowd of bigots, under the guise of supporting the Northern Ireland football team, came to Glasgow to sing about their hatred of Catholics. Incredibly, our media thought this not worth mentioning. No doubt there'll be no mention of it in today's papers either. Despite what they might say to the contrary, this silence is tantamount to condoning the bigotry; in fact, more than that, it's collusion. If you have the nerve to complain about it then you're condemned as being part of the problem and being as bad as the ones singing. As I said, they're fighting a rearguard action and transposing their twisted way of looking at things onto the rest of us.

Of course, there's humour in any situation if you care to look for it and it was there last night. Like most bigots, those ones don't understand irony and would be singing with a perfectly straight face. Me? I thought it was funny that a shower, whose families have lived in Ireland for a few hundred years but they still pretend to be Scottish, were over in Scotland telling me that I should 'go home'!

Finally, I see somebody heeded my call and another review has gone up on Amazon. Any chance of some more? The page has been infiltrated by Union-Flag-waving huns, slagging my book off even thought they haven't read it. I could do with some support here, folks!

"Hello, playmates! It's your old pal, Big-Hearted Bill Struth again. You know, things were a lot easier back in my day. Everybody knew their place and if any foreign scum wanted to start trouble we'd soon be over there to sort them out. Well, some of us had to stay in the shipyards to hold the jackets, but you know what I mean. And there was no such thing as drink-driving laws or breathalysers back then. If the police were to stop you when you were driving, there would be no bother whatsoever, especially if you were wearing a Rangers tie and masonic cuff-links! And, of course, if I turned up anywhere without a hot meal to tuck into, the one responsible would receive a punch in the mouth faster than you can say 'Man overboard'! Ah, things were simpler then, but a lot better for it. Ayyyyyyyythenkyaowwwwww!"

IF YOU GOTTA MAKE A FOOL OF SOMEBODY

John Guidetti is being hauled up before the beak for singing on Swedish TV. His crime? The word 'huns' is in the song. Shock! Horror! To the disappointment of the...er...huns, it has been determined time and again that the word is not sectarian. So what's the problem? Former Compliance Officer, Vincent Lunny, who for once had his hearing aid in, told us exactly what the problem was: Guidetti is guilty of  "making fun of Rangers". We can't have that now, can we?

Lunny goes on: "For me, the problem with this case and with the Griffiths case is you've got professionals who are making fun of other clubs in difficulty. People are losing their jobs within football and it's simply not appropriate for players to behave in public in that manner." What a load of mealy-mouthed shite! The SFA had no problem with creditors losing out while they tried to shoehorn Green's new club into the Premier League, pretending that it was still Rangers. It appears that it's fine to con folk and steal their money but criminal to sing a song pointing out this fact.

Next up will probably be the Hearts players that were singing 'Fuck Rangers' when they found out they'd won the Championship. Meanwhile the usual, disgusting song book was back out at Easter Road on Sunday. Is the SFA going to do anything about that? Lunny explains the SFA's get-out clause: "There are different standards between the fans and the players. The players are directly under the jurisdiction of the SFA, the fans are not." In other words, carry on singing, lads! He continues, "It would have to be fairly serious for a club to be prosecuted for fans singing something and probably would have to be a criminal-type scenario or grossly offensive for that to be done." Well that's settled that. According to the SFA, racism and religious bigotry are entirely legal and inoffensive.

I take it that if a club, as opposed to its supporters, were to 'make fun' of another club, causing offence, then it would be dealt with in the same way as a player would. I wait, with bated breath, to see the Ibrox club up on a charge for the following blaring out of the PA system every two weeks: "Celtic know all about their troubles..." What 'troubles' would those be? Not that that matters; whatever those 'troubles' are it appears the Ibrox club is 'making fun' of them. So where's the compliance officer? Maybe waiting with bated breath was a bad idea; my face is turning blue already!

I had to laugh at Paul Murray going on about how previous directors of the new club should be 'ashamed of themselves'. Is he kidding? Is he ashamed of being a part of the board that was dishing out EBTs? It's okay, then, to swindle HMRC but not okay to make money from a business. The ones that Murray is talking about actually acted within the law; unlike the old Rangers, who have already been found guilty on some counts and are awaiting the outcome of HMRC's appeal about the rest. If Murray wants something to be concerned about he should look up the law regarding a phoenix company with the same directors as the old one and its possible liability for the debts of the old company.

The short-termism at Bisto FC, meanwhile, continues with a £1.5m loan from the Three Bears. According to the Daily Record, this is an INVESTMENT! How the hell can an unsecured, interest-free loan be called an investment? I don't think any financial adviser would point customers toward 'investing' in that way! Paul Murray is a bit confused as well, saying, "We can and we will rebuild the club and this £1.5m investment is stage one of the process." For God's sake - IT'S NOT AN INVESTMENT!

According to the DR, the board decided to 'snub' Ashley's other £5m. That, however, is not the story Phil Mac Giolla Bhain tells. According to his source the 'snub' was actually in the opposite direction. And there's still going to be a wait for Honest Dave to put in any of his own money. Apparently, he's not parting with a penny until the 'fit and proper person' test is finished. In other words, if he doesn't get to be chairman then he's going to flounce back to the Veldt in an almighty huff, taking any money he has with him.

The big question, though, is how long it'll take to get through that £1.5m. Remember, at the end of January, the then board borrowed £5m from Big Mike. £3m of that was swallowed up immediately by the repayment of Ashley's previous loans. So, effectively, they had £2m to play with. It's taken only a matter of weeks for that to be used up, so that one-and-a-half million is going to last even less time. Once Ally's wages are paid for the month the players will need to fight it out to see who else gets paid! It looks like things are going to bump along exactly the way they did before the Real Raynjurz Men arrived.

But, never fear - Murray's here! He's already putting in place plans for a 'multi-million-pound' share issue. The last share issue was woefully undersubscribed and had no underwriter to back it up. Before that the big share issue to institutional investors had to be abandoned due to lack of interest. It's going to be totally different this time, though; investors will be falling over themselves now that the club is in the hands of...a convicted criminal.  Er...they haven't really thought this one through, have they?

And a final word about Bisto FC. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that in every photo of Douglas Park he seems to be sucking a pickled onion?

On the political front, Jim Murphy is banging on about abolishing the Bedroom Tax, the tax that he, and others in his party, couldn't be bothered turning up at Westminster to vote on. He, and the Daily Record, point out that it's costing the Scottish Government £35m a year to mitigate the effects of this unfair measure. Strangely, though, this figure is never pointed out when they're highlighting the lack of funds in Scotland for the NHS etc. Strange that, eh?

And, just to top things off, the DR decides to tell us all about Nicola Sturgeon's coffee-making machine. Somebody at the paper watched Good Morning Britain, where Susanna Reid met Nicola Sturgeon at home. Not overly interested in the piece itself, the DR 'journalist' kept his or her eyes on the background, desperately hoping to spot something incriminating. And there it was - a De’Longhi Prima Donna Avant cappuccino and espresso machine! A quick Google search and there was the price - a cool £1,395! That, as the Record delights in telling us, is more than the monthly take-home pay of a chef, a butcher, a hospital porter or a gardener (Sooperally excepted, of course). I mean...for fuck's sake! I've got a plasma telly that cost me about £1200 nine years ago; presumably I should be ashamed of myself!

Finally, can I ask anybody that's read 'Fear and Smear' to please write a review on Amazon. Thanks.

 "Sugar...Oh, hunny, hunny..."

 

Stop that - it's offensive!

 

 

 

 

 

"Would I lie to you, hunny..."

 

Stop that - it's offensive!

 

 

 

 

 

 "Hunny to the bee, that's you for me..."

 

Stop that - it's offensive!

 

 

 

 

 

"And hunny, I miss you..."

 

Stop that - it's offensive!

 

 

 

 

 

"Hunny, hunny, how you thrill me! Ah-ha, hunny, hunny!"

 

Stop that - it's offensive!

And bloody Swedish as well!

 

BAD COMPANY

The Daily Record website yesterday had a shocking story to tell. It was all about a company that went bust in 2012. While creditors are left out of pocket, the two brothers that owned the company are living in big houses and driving luxury cars with private plates. Without so much as a hint of irony, the paper then talks of how one of the brothers won a bidding competition to play for Celtic in a charity match in 2011. For the hard-of-thinking, pictures are provided of the guy hugging Henrik Larsson on the pitch and dressed in a Celtic tracksuit. The implication is obvious; somehow Celtic are connected to this pair.

With barefaced audacity, the DR also tells us how the brothers transferred payments from customers to a connected company, owned by them and their family. Shameful, eh? And not only that but it seems they swindled HMRC as well, which is perhaps fitting, since their business was all about helping folk avoid taxes. They deprived the Treasury of about £350m a year, the Record tells us primly. The brother that played in that game for Celtic paid £200k for the privilege, we're informed. I think we're supposed to infer that Celtic should be handing that money back for the creditors.

Isn't it strange how the Record has suddenly become the champion of HMRC and ready to argue on behalf of creditors being stiffed? I don't remember them being concerned when another company went bust in 2012. Even when the administrators of this other company invented a 'holding company' to shove all the debt into, the Daily Record said nothing. In fact, the DR made nothing but excuses for this other company, even going to the extreme of accusing HMRC of maliciously 'going after' the company.

The two brothers that ran the company the Record reports on have been banned from being "involved in forming, marketing or ­running a company." It is pretty obvious from the report that the Record approves of this course of action. Funnily enough, when it comes to that other company that went bust in 2012, the paper feels entirely differently. Not only do they not want former directors banned but they have been actively campaigning for them to be reinstated. As Greavsie used to say, it's a funny old game!

Speaking of that old company, the new company and its new/old club actually managed to beat Hibs yesterday. As if to provide a case for it being still the 'same club' Willie Collum was there to provide a wee favour, just like in the grand old days of yore. Alan Stubbs was understandably furious but, unfortunately, his memory is beginning to play tricks on him. He said, about the Lee Wallace foul on Paul Hanlon, "I've been in management a short time. I was player a long time. Over the years, that decision would be given 100 per cent of the time." Sorry, Alan, but you're wrong. I remember that exact same scenario occurring on a few occasions in the past. It used to look to me as if it was something that Rangers practised at Murray Park. A Rangers player would commit an obvious foul on an opponent, play would stop and Kenny Miller would then run at the goal unopposed. It was cheating, pure and simple, and it's obviously been resurrected with the aid of our 'impartial' officials. Not that we'll see any condemnation in our media. Wallace himself said that his team was 'phenomenal'; presumably he includes Collum in that assessment!

Meanwhile, on the political front, Jim Murphy desperately brings up the ghost of Thatcher to frighten us all into voting Labour. With the collusion of the Daily Record, he brings up the hoary, old chestnut of the SNP 'bringing down' the Labour Government in 1979, allowing Thatcher in. Does anybody still believe this shite? For anyone that wasn't around back then, that wasn't how things happened.

In 1974 Labour, under Harold Wilson, won the General Election by only three seats. This slim majority vanished by 1977, forcing Jim Callaghan, who had taken over from Wilson, into a pact with the Liberals. The pact ended in September 1978 and it was understood that Callaghan would call another election. He didn't. Instead he limped on through the Winter of Discontent, which turned everyone against both Labour and the unions. Callaghan's government was living on borrowed time. He was going to have to call an election sometime in 1979; an election he was going to lose.

After the debacle of the Scotland Referendum and the way the Government moved the goalposts, it was inevitable that the SNP would vote against Callaghan in any no-confidence vote. And not only the SNP voted on Thatcher's side; the Liberals and the Ulster Unionists opposed the Government for varying reasons, while the Irish Nationalists abstained. It is quite disingenuous to put the blame for the defeat squarely on the shoulders of the SNP. The SNP had 11 votes to contribute, while the Liberals had 13. Strangely, though, you never hear Labour blaming the Liberals for their defeat.

In the ensuing election the Tories won quite comfortably. If Callaghan's Government had bumbled on for another few months it is probable that their election defeat would have been even more decisive. The contention that the SNP vote suffered because of the perception that they had ganged up with the Tories against Labour is utter nonsense. In the 1979 election, of the nine seats lost by the SNP, seven of them were captured by the Tories. The fact is that the SNP manifesto in that year was too left-wing for their erstwhile demographic and this was reflected in the party's reaction to the election results. It has taken a while, but the demographic of the SNP has changed considerably from that of the 1970s and there would be no switch back and forth between SNP and Tory anymore.

A couple of folk commented on here yesterday about how Celtic supporters shouldn't be voting SNP due to the legislation about sectarian singing and the like. I don't know about you, but I don't vote just because of what football team I support. I leave that kind of thing to McMurdo and his ilk. If Scottish independence meant rule by the Orange Order, don't you think they'd be in favour of it? The fact is that it's the Union that keeps all this shite going. The Church of Scotland was disestablished a long time ago so it's only by being tied to England, where the C of E is still the established church, that the bigots can claim that we live in a 'Protestant Country'. That's why they all clamour for the Queen and claim her as head of their religion, even though a proper Protestant church, like the Church of Scotland, doesn't believe in having a church head at all. Take away their Union and their sense of superiority will fall like a house of cards.

As for the idea that the SNP, and other independence parties, are all in favour of children all going to the same schools, well what about it? As it stands currently there is no such thing as a non-denominational school in Scotland. Every school is obliged to have religious education and religious observance and it is supposed to be predominantly Christian, even in areas where there is hardly a Christian to be found. If a Scottish government was to do away with RC schools it would also have to make so-called N.D. schools operate along the lines of state schools in America. Personally, I don't have a problem with that.

A bit of a stooshie has erupted over Mick, of Bampots Utd. fame, putting up posts from other blogs. The guy that runs Scotzine, Andy Muirhead, had a go at Mick for 'stealing' his stuff, even though Mick is always at pains to clearly show where his posts came from. The website Bella Caledonia also had a go. I'd never heard of Scotzine or Bella Caledonia until I read some of their stuff on Mick's blog and followed the links he provided. Mick also introduced me to On Fields of Green, Wings Over Scotland and others that I can't recall offhand. Probably other people found out about these websites through reading Mick's blog. I know for a fact that many of my own readers came here only when they discovered it on Bampots Utd. Unlike me, however, others seem to be totally ungrateful about Mick drumming up new readers for them. I really don't understand what their problem is.

Mick has also drummed up a lot of sales for my books and asks for nothing in return. In fact, he expressed his surprise and gratitude that I'd mentioned Bampots Utd. in Clash of the Agnivores, even though it was the very least I could do for all his help. As my wife said, "Make sure you mind and thank that guy that's always mentioning your books!" Regular readers of Mick's blog will know that I'm not the only author to benefit from his support. Again, he has asked for nothing in return. You don't even need to send him a book if you want it reviewed and promoted; he buys a copy himself!

Bella Caledonia, on the other hand, does things differently. Last summer I noticed a 'Book Review' section on the site and asked if I could have Torrent and Clash of the Agnivores reviewed. The guy agreed, as long as I sent paperback copies. I paid for the books on Amazon, as well as the postage, and sent them to the P.O. Box I was asked to send them to and then...nothing. I've even sent a couple of e-mails, just for some acknowledgement that he received the books but again...no reply. Hopefully he enjoyed the books, even though he seems reluctant to let anybody know about it.

Bella Caledonia tried to get some kind of debate going on Twitter about reblogging and whether it was a compliment or theft. I suppose I could ask the same question about my books: compliment or theft? As for reblogging; what's the problem? It's not as if Mick was passing it off as his own work; he always stated where it came from and provided a link. If folk are that desperate to keep their stuff on their own website then they should set something up so you can't copy it or make their site subscription-only or something. Let's see how many followers they get then!

Social media is supposed to be all about the free and frank exchange of ideas; a new medium for those fed up with the mainstream. Some folk, however, want you to get down on your knees and beg for permission to promote their viewpoint. Bella Caledonia and Scotzine are also constantly asking for donations; perhaps they expect the same if anyone reblogs their articles! There's only one thing that can be said to such people. It begins with 'F' and ends in 'uckoff'!

"Ye kin read it - but don't tell anybody else aboot it, right?"

THE BIG LIE GOES DOWN UNDER

Keith Jackson has been over in Australia, contributing to a conference on Finance in Sport with his 'expert' and 'insider' take on Rangers (sic). The man really is shameless; he should have been accompanied by the various Internet Bampots that he has stolen his 'exclusives' from on a regular basis. Still, it's worth watching the video to see him squirm when the Australian guy talks about 'New Rangers'!

With a breathtaking brass neck, Jackson tells of how everyone thought of Craig Whyte as a billionaire; everybody, that is, except Jackson. He, apparently, dug away relentlessly to find out the truth and shocked everyone with his revelations. The guy has no shame at all and there's no mention of the phrase 'off the radar'. And then we come to the dreaded 'L' word. The Australian guy, quite reasonably, points out that the current club must be a 'New Rangers', making Jackson fidget and titter nervously as he says that such a claim is a 'bone of contention'. His discomfort is a delight to see!

He goes on to recount how Rangers (sic) has been raped and pillaged by a succession of crooks and gangsters, with only Jackson and the Daily Record fighting the good fight against them all. What was needed, he maintained, was folk that cared about Rangers (sic). And, apparently, the story has a happy ending as such caring individuals are now firmly ensconced at Ibrox; all thanks to Keith Jackson and the Daily Record, of course!

Jackson's being a bit premature, however, since the story's nowhere near finished yet. I've been writing the sequel to 'Clash of the Agnivores' and I'm very nearly at the present time in my narrative. I'll be writing non-stop; I'm expecting big things to happen in the next couple of months, since Bisto FC is, to use the technical parlance, rooked. The Real Raynjurz Men haven't got unlimited funds so they're hardly going to keep throwing money into the pit every month, are they? As Phil Mac Giolla Bhain is always telling us, they have no credit line with a bank so the only option is Mike Ashley. I wonder how that's going to work out!

Meanwhile, Big Mike will be laughing his arse off at the story in the Daily Record today. It seems the five players sent up from Tyneside to save the season are, well four of them anyway, so riddled with ailments and injuries that they should be on the Panel. And, this is the best bit, Bisto FC is paying their wages! I've heard that every time Ashley fucks somebody over he has a sandwich; that's how he got to be the size he is. Well, he's certainly fucked over the Real Raynjurz Men!

While Honest Dave's back over in South Africa, stocking up on biltong or whatever, leaving the other RRM to batten down the hatches, he's also applied to the Court of Session for permission to become a director of Bisto FC. He needs this permission because he was a director of the oldco; which begs the question as to why Paul Murray doesn't need to apply. Obviously King is serious about taking his place on the board, which should make The Peeppul worried; very worried indeed.

With no NOMAD on the horizon speculation abounds as to whether or not King actually wants Bisto FC to become delisted. This application to the Court of Session suggests that he probably does. Remember how he went on before about how he wasn't in the least worried about AIM determining if he was a fit and proper person? Now we can see why. The fact that he's a convicted crook would automatically send alarms wailing at the Stock Exchange but if Bisto FC is delisted then there's nothing to worry about. The Court of Session will be looking purely at the Insolvency Act and, given how every authority in Scotland has bent over backwards to accommodate the new club, he'll no doubt be passed as acceptable. As a director of a private company he won't have to worry what AIM thinks and a firm handshake with Campbell Ogilvie EBT will ensure there are no problems with the SFA either.

Being in charge of a private company will afford King and his cronies the luxury of doing away with little inconveniences like published accounts, auditors and AGMs. There's still the problem of money but, then, all manner of shady deals would be possible with nobody being any the wiser. The Peeppul can then blindly turn up to cheer on the Real Raynjurz Men with not a care about how the club is being financed. There will be no more behind-the-scenes stories in the media, since nobody will have a clue what the hell's going on. The officials can go back to the old 'special relationship' and the media can go on about the resurgence of Rangers (sic) and what a great team it is. Everybody's happy! Except, of course, that whatever financial plan is in place would probably be unsustainable in the long term. But, then, when did The Peeppul ever worry about the long term?

A bit of politics, and I see the Daily Record now has an election banner saying, "ANYONE BUT THE TORIES." Their editorial, however, continues to bash the SNP, still making out that a vote for the nationalists will let the Tories in. This despite the fact that we're all aware of Scottish Labour encouraging folk to vote Tory to keep the SNP out! So if we're not to vote SNP, who is the 'anyone' that the Daily Record suggests? The Liberal Democrats? But they're in the coalition. The Greens? Their on the side of those perfidious 'nats'. So who should we vote for, according to the Record? Well, if we're sick of Labour then there's only one alternative. It's the party of the thugs that rampaged through George Square the day after the referendum result. It's the party of a good chunk of The Peeppul. Step forward Nigel Farage; the Daily Record's choice for Prime Minister!

While we're on the subject, they're still peddling the 'Cybernat' myth. Some saddo tweeted Ruth Davidson with a torrent of homophobic abuse, so it's all the fault of the SNP, even though he's now been kicked out of the party. (Incidentally, we're still waiting to find out who organised the savagery in George Square; and it was organised. No cybernat-style finger pointing there, eh?) Now they're trying to make a story out of nothing regarding a 'senior SNP member' offering 'PR advice' to this idiot. The truth is that this 'PR advice' amounted to nothing more than telling the clown to shut up and apologise to Ruth Davidson. Hardly the scandal the Record makes it out to be; talk about desperation! And what the hell is a 'senior member' of the SNP anyway? As far as I'm aware he's not on the party executive committee or the like. Oh, wait! A woman he works with is the wife of a YES campaigner. Guilty as charged, then!

But hold on a wee minute there! What's that the guy that made the homophobic comments is  wearing? That looks like a Celtic top! Well, that settles things totally. He's obviously a Republican, terrorist-supporting, benefit-scrounging, drink-sodden, kiddy-fiddling, Fenian bastard! That's it - I'm joining UKIP!

Despite a lack of support for the Crowdfunder campaign, sales of 'Fear and Smear' are creeping up. I've also reached the giddy heights of having a couple of trolls on my Amazon page. Both of them have got previous for deriding any independence-themed or left-wing books. One of them, calling himself 'hugo', was challenged about this, since it was obvious he hadn't read the book concerned. He explained that, although he hadn't purchased the book, he had borrowed it from the library. I've accused him of not reading mine and I'm hoping he claims to have got it in the library so I can laugh at him! Why do these idiots bother?

Finally, a monumental balls-up by a couple of The Peeppul. Dick and Wullie, from Cockenzie in East Lothian, were apparently under the impression that the Rangers (sic) EGM hadn't taken place yet and that it was still being held in London. After weeks of living rough, they finally believed that they had found their destination. They received some funny looks during the organ recital when they started to praise their leader with chants of, "Wan King! Wan King!" After inspecting a few members they realised they were in the wrong place. There ensued a bit of a fracas, which ended in Dick and Wullie being ejaculated from the venue, taken to the short, stone wall outside and tossed off. Event organiser, Everard Stonner, claimed that the two men had been drunk, abusive and aggressive. Dick and Wullie said that "Wiz a load" and the last thing they wanted was to be "splashed all over". Chris Graham was unavailable for comment.  http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/family-relationships/small-penis-party-average-size-5364465

"'T'ye sayin', ya dobber? Naw Ah wisnae it that hing in London! You ask Sue, she'll tell ye. Ah'm a fuckin' stallion 'n 'at, so Ah um! Ah need tae use a bin bag furra condom, so Ah dae. They don't call me 'Tripod' fur nothin' pal! Etc...etc...etc..."

IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR THE IRISH

Happy St. Patrick's Day! It's a time when folk of Irish descent all over the world celebrate their heritage and people that are about as Irish as a beef teriyaki join in as well. It's seen as good fun and the Irish Tourism Board has cleverly used it recently to boost Ireland as a holiday destination all over the globe. Rivers are dyed green and buildings are lit up to make them look green; even the pyramids at Giza are turned green. As I say, it's all good fun except, of course, here in Scotland. I noticed a few complaints on some papers' comments sections about Edinburgh Castle, Prestwick Airport, Glasgow's Armadillo etc. being lit green. "Will they be lit orange on 12th July?" asks one bitter individual.

Others ask if buildings will be lit in different colours on other saints' days, especially that of St. Andrew. Well, as such people like to remind us, for centuries Scotland was a Protestant country and Protestants don't believe in saints. That's why there have been no celebrations of St. Andrew, St. George or St. David; such celebrations were seen as a Catholic thing. And that's part of the reason why there is so much bitterness toward St. Patrick's Day in Scotland; the rest of the world has moved on but a hard core of bigots in Scotland and Ulster still think we're living in the 16th Century. Fortunately such folk no longer hold sway in Scotland.

As for celebrating St. Andrew's Day, how are they going to do that? St. Patrick's Day has been celebrated for centuries, like the Feast of Santiago (St. James) in Spain, while 'Name Days', where you celebrate the feast of the saint you are named after, is popular all over the world. If folk want to celebrate St. Andrew's Day then they'll have to invent some way of celebrating it. Maybe they can invent some legends at the same time, such as St. Andrew driving the 'rats' out of Govan! In the meantime, why don't they stop trying to spoil everybody else's fun?

In much the same vein, our media seems determined to do all they can to tarnish Celtic's victory in the League Cup and the frightening possibility of the club winning a treble. Most of the negativity is focused on Scott Brown. The way it is being painted, Brown was out on the lash the whole day, cavorting with lap dancers, necking every alcoholic drink he could lay his hands on and ending the binge by sitting, pished out his gourd, on a kerb, eating a kebab and not knowing what day it was. In reality he was home and in bed by 10.30. No doubt Ronny gave him a rollocking and made him promise not to do it again. That's it. End of story. Nothing more to see. Not for our loyal agnivores, though!

It's pretty easy to detect what's behind all this. Remember a few years back when Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor were banned from the international team? A few players sneaked a couple of drinks before bedtime but, the story went, Ferguson and McGregor stayed up all night drinking and were still at it when everybody else came down for breakfast. They were dropped for the next Scotland game and, as you'll remember, reacted by making obscene gestures at the cameras. Their subsequent dismissal by George Burley caught our media unawares and, even though they made condemnatory noises toward the pair, the general consensus in our Fourth Estate was that Ferguson and McGregor were hard-done by.

Our agnivores always have trouble with their memories when it comes to matters like liquidation but things like punishments meted out to Rangers players are remembered vividly. They've waited a long time to seek revenge...I mean, balance things out...and they're making sure they don't waste the opportunity. They've even asked Gordon Strachan to comment, which, of course, he refused to do. All he would say was that he enforces a strict 'no bevvy' rule during internationals and that he's had no problems with the players. It seems that the agnivores in our press won't be happy until Brown is, at the very least, stripped of the Scotland captaincy. Stand by for telephoto lenses galore at Scotland's next training camp!

The Daily Record has finally got around to noticing the vile, illegal banner that was displayed at Ibrox on Saturday. According to them, however, it was all down to the repulsive, would-be letter bomber, Neil McKenzie, who was at the game although ostensibly banned for life. He must be like the guy out of the Fantastic Four with the big, rubbery arms that can stretch for miles, since that banner looked as if there were dozens holding it!

The banner itself is almost just mentioned in passing, with a quick acknowledgement that the words are from a banned song. Not a word, though, about the sinister-looking gunmen portrayed in the middle of the banner. Nor is it mentioned that a picture of the banner took pride of place on the Rangers (sic) website. The picture has disappeared from the website but it was there for at least 48 hours. Still, it's only banter and the Ibrox club is doing all it can to stamp out sectarianism and bigotry. And it's still nowhere near as bad as somebody eating a kebab!

If you're celebrating, have a good one. And if you want to help me celebrate my 'Name Day' click that pledge box over on the right and help me to get 'Fear and Smear' advertised!

St. Patrick, any chance of driving the agnivores and assorted snakes out of Scotland?

NEW CLUB, SAME OLD SECTARIANISM

Remember a couple of years back that hilarious banner at Celtic Park with the zombie coming out of the grave? The Peeppul were up in arms about it, supposedly because there was somebody aiming a rifle at the zombie. (Although they were proven to be liars; Jim Delahunt received death threats for suggesting that the banner was clever and funny up until the gunman appeared.) All we heard was how the banner was 'terrorist-inspired' and the Daily Record even went so far as to lie that there was a shamrock on the gunman's arm.

We still hear constantly about how Celtic supporters sing in praise of 'terrorists' and questions are asked about what Celtic is doing to stamp it out. I've said on here before that I don't know any of these songs because I've never heard them. I'm not one for straining my ears to listen out for a dozen folk singing something in amongst a wall of noise. Our esteemed Fourth Estate have trouble making out these songs as well, which is why you get the likes of Keevins claiming that singing the 'Soldier's Song' is somehow a sign of sectarian bigotry and support for 'terrorists'. Meanwhile the massed choirs of The Peeppul are always dismissed as a 'small minority' and it is claimed that the powers-that-be at Ibrox are doing everything they can to stop such singing and chanting; in stark contrast to Celtic, where it is, apparently, actively encouraged!

It's not surprising in the least, therefore, to find that the large banner exhibited at Ibrox on Saturday has been completely ignored. The banner showed three masked gunmen, standing in front of Ibrox, surrounded by the words of a UVF song. The Peeppul on Rangers Media are utterly delighted by this show of support for a proscribed organisation, one of whose declared aims was that if a target was missed then any random 'taig' would do! Remarkably, quite a few on RM say that the banner displays the need to 'stand up to extremism'! It makes you wonder what they view as 'extremism'. The UVF, along with the UDA, has strong links with the BNP and other right-wing, racist organisations and both groups have been involved in violent attacks on ethnic minorities in East Belfast. You don't get much more 'extremist' than that!

Again, though, we can hardly blame the Ibrox heid-bummers for this banner, can we? Well, the fact is that a picture of the banner is proudly on display on the 'Fishell' Rangers (sic) website! Just imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth if the Celtic website was to post a picture of one of the Green Brigade's banners, no matter what it said! Not a word in our media about Saturday's Ibrox banner, though; they're too busy trying to rubbish Celtic's victory in the League Cup Final by the constant repetition of 'ten-man United' and the claims that United should have had a penalty and that Van Dijk should have had a red card.

Onto lighter matters and it's beginning to dawn on our agnivores in the press that their favourite new team is a pile of shite that no amount of Real Raynjurz Men can change. The way they went on about King and then McCall arriving it looked as if they thought that Bisto FC was going to overtake Hearts in the next few weeks, never mind Hibs! The reality has hit them a hammer blow, since they can no longer blame Mike Ashley and the Easdales for the dismal displays on the pitch.

Speaking of McCall and the Easdales, is there some hairdresser (or wig shop) they go to that specialises in embarrassing, 1970s styles? I don't think I've seen a centre parting and those two big, bouncy bits above the temples since the bygone days of the Bay City Rollers. Maybe they think it'll catch on and they'll be viewed as trendsetters. And as for Paul Murray, I haven't seen hair like that since the Brylcreem ads of the 1960s!

Meanwhile, no word yet on where the money is coming from that is obviously being spent. I doubt McCall is on a pittance and Percy Thrower will still be raking in that massive wage. The new directors won't be on minimum wage either so where is the cash coming from? We'll soon find out when it's payday and the next lot of Ashley money has to be borrowed!

Stuart McCall anticipates being unemployed again by practising for a new career as a Tommy Cooper impersonator.

THE ACCEPTABLE FACE OF RACISM

I remember once a wee girl in my class said something about going to the 'Paki's' for her mum. Some of the children looked shocked, as if she had said a swear word and obviously expected me to hit the roof. Instead, I simply asked the girl if she would say that to the man's face. She shook her head and I asked her why. She couldn't answer but I could see from her face that she was thinking about it so I left it at that. She never used the word in the class again and I wonder sometimes if she used it at home after that. She was only eight years old so she probably did; especially if her family found it acceptable.
 
That's the thing; if something is deemed to be acceptable then it doesn't matter what anyone else says about it. Back in the 1970s just about everyone used to go on about 'Pakis' and 'Darkies' and nobody batted an eyelid. We all knew it was offensive; just like that wee girl in my class, we would never say it directly to, or in front of, a black person. This was especially the case in my street, where there was a black guy a few years older than me, who won cups and medals for boxing and would beat the shit out of anyone using offensive terms anywhere near him! It wasn't until I went to university that I learned that using such terms was offensive and wrong, full stop.
 
Society has moved on a lot since then but there are still plenty of racists about. They tend to keep quiet, though, since they know that their views are no longer acceptable. Every now and again, however, something happens that allows them to voice their racism, albeit couched in other terms. If anyone challenges them then they start shouting about 'free speech' and 'PC gone mad' and, quite often, they'll even try to put the blame onto the ones that they're verbally abusing.
 
In the past few decades our bigots have had plenty of opportunities to give voice to their filthy thoughts. The PIRA bombing campaign gave them an excuse for voicing their anti-Irish feelings, while child abuse by the Catholic clergy and terrorist attacks by Islamic fundamentalists have brought them crawling out to vent their spleens, pretending that they are reacting to these circumstances, when the truth is that they are just prejudiced, bigoted individuals.
 
All these filthy creeps are coming to the fore more and more, hiding behind the apparent respectability of Nigel Farage and UKIP. The way things are going in England is a major reason why I voted for Scottish independence; the UK is becoming a scary place. Witness the mass support for Jeremy Clarkson, a disgusting, xenophobic bigot. He's been getting away with his vile behaviour for years and now they're all making excuses for him punching somebody because there wasn't a hot meal waiting for him when he finally decided to leave the pub. No doubt they'd all feel the same if a man staggers home and treats his wife the same way!
 
Everybody in Scotland, especially our media, likes to pretend that racism is not as big a problem here as it is in England, even though the evidence suggests otherwise. Anti-Irish bigotry has been ignored and tacitly tolerated for years in Scotland, even allowing those that attempt murder to escape relatively unpunished. The old 'as bad as each other' lie is trotted out to make it look like some kind of tribal thing, when it actually isn't. Now we're seeing the results of this toleration; a bigot is a bigot and he usually hates anyone that is even slightly different from himself.
 
Chris Graham has never been questioned on his anti-Catholicism and anti-Irishness so, obviously, he was going to consider himself immune from whatever bigotry he wanted to peddle. Now he's been caught out in anti-Muslim prejudice and hatred and is, quite rightly, being condemned. The apology he gives, however, means nothing. He's demonstrated his prejudices for years, not least with Ze List, so it's a bit disingenuous to make out as if this has been a one-off, uncharacteristic blip. Along with him, we should be condemning the tolerance of his, and others', bigotry, which, ultimately, has led to him thinking it okay to post his filthy tweet.
 
But now, we've got something that's going to throw everything into focus. The current furore about Jeremy Clarkson is the exact opposite of the Listy Graham situation. The tolerance shown towards Graham's anti-Irish bigotry led to him overreaching himself in his targets of hatred. Clarkson, on the other hand, has been allowed to get away with constant xenophobic and racist comments, as well as misogynistic and homophobic utterances and fascistic demands for striking workers to be shot. Now he has physically assaulted someone, while calling the man a 'lazy, Irish cunt'! Now the shit's going to hit the fan.
 
The kind of anti-Irish prejudice that is allowed in Scotland hasn't been part of the culture in England for a long time now. That's going to make Clarkson's tirade all the more shocking. Nigel Farage might go on about keeping jobs for 'British-born' workers but probably nobody in England would imagine that to mean excluding Irish people. It's only in Scotland that the Irish and their descendants are viewed as somehow 'different'.
 
The BBC has come under fire recently over the Jimmy Savile business and the suspicion that there were others involved. They can't afford to be seen to be supporting a violent racist, no matter how many petitions they receive. After all, some of their most popular presenters are Irish. How are Terry Wogan, Graham Norton and others going to react if Clarkson gets away with this? I would imagine that his racist insult is going to be as much a factor in the condemnation of Clarkson as his violent assault. This, of course, is going to put the Scottish media in a bit of a quandary.
 
At the moment the likes of the Daily Record are doing their best to ignore all the blatantly anti-Scottish rhetoric currently evident in the English press. It won't be long, however, before they are forced to address the issue or appear to be nothing more than lickspittles within the Union. Now they are going to be faced with the prospect of racist bigotry against the Irish being condemned in the UK media. It's going to be difficult for them to report on one and ignore the other. They'll try their best but it's going to be nearly impossible. And once that particular cat is out of the bag they're going to have to face up to a few home truths.
 
It's amazing how twisted our society has become that it's going to take an English, right-wing, racist bigot to highlight the prejudice and bigotry that has been allowed to fester in Scotland for centuries!

And now it's emerged that the guy organising the masons and apprentice boys to do some work for free at Ibrox is another racist bigot. Apparently his Facebook page, now deleted of course, was full of references to killing Muslims. Shock! Horror! Not! How long is it going to be before somebody in our media admits that any club playing out of Ibrox is always going to be a focus for this type of scum? Our papers are quick to condemn tweets about killing Neil Lennon and the like but they always talk as if it's an isolated incident; it's not. The old club and the new club both stand for everything that's sordid in our society and until that's recognised and dealt with we're constantly going to read about Chris Grahams, Allan Woodses and Ayrshire letter-bombers.

 "Of course, this character, Oisin Tymon, obviously brought it on himself. Irish accents have no place at the BBC." 

MEESA NOT SPECIAL AFTER ALL!

Well, there's a disappointment! It turns out that I'm not as special as I thought and everybody is banned from Listy Graham's Twitter account. It looks like he's trying to cover his tracks, the same as he did when he deleted his infamous 'Enemies of Glasgow Rangers' blog. Now that he's on the Bisto Board it's more important than ever that nobody dredges up any of his bigoted and racist comments. It's already proven, however, to be a case of locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.

The furore over his infantile drawing also reminded me that I was mistaken on my last post; I have visited his Twitter page before. I remember when somebody retweeted that drawing; I went to Graham's page to have a look for myself and was quite disgusted. There was no reason for it, other than blind, racial hatred. It certainly showed what kind of human being, and I use the term loosely, Graham is.

Apparently Graham has been receiving support from the likes of the BNP and the EDL, which comes as no real surprise. In a society where a scummy creep like Jeremy Clarkson is seen as some kind of hero, hundreds of thousands are signing a petition to get him reinstated and even the Prime Minister is on his side, it's probably the case that support for Graham is more widespread than the lunatic fringe that has backed him so far.

The resident troll over on Bampots Utd has been banging on about 'free speech' and giving us all the 'Je suis Charlie' shite. It's funny how these morons are all for free speech and then they're demanding that folk on the TV and radio are sacked when they point out the truth that it's a new club playing at Ibrox. That's the trouble with 'free speech'; it has become a refuge for all the scum of society. Racial and sectarian bigots claim that they should be able to say whatever they like but then start shrieking if somebody has the gall to sing a song about Ireland. The pathetic mindset of The Peeppul is shown by the Bampots Utd. troll trying to claim that Tonev is a racist, despite there being no evidence, while excusing Graham's vile tweet as being perfectly acceptable under the 'free speech' banner. Make up your mind, you stupid bigot!

The big question as far as the Daily Record is concerned is whether Listy Graham is a suitable person to be on the Bisto Board. Er...I'd imagine that expressing such views makes him eminently suitable! At least somebody at Ibrox has a sense of humour, telling the DR, 'Rangers (sic) would like to stress that we strongly disagree with intolerance of a religious or racist nature.' I look forward to seeing this spokesperson on the big Comic Relief extravaganza tonight!

There's also a big kerfuffle about Neil McKenzie, the would-be letter bomber, who turned up at Ibrox on Tuesday. After loads of complaints, he's been banned for life. I wonder if that's the same kind of 'lifetime ban' that Sandy Chugg has been handed THREE times! Anyway, another Ibrox spokesperson said, 'Rangers (sic) can confirm Mr McKenzie has been banned from attending all matches involving the club'. All well and good but surely he shouldn't be out and about to attend matches in the first place and surely a football club shouldn't be doing the job of our legal authorities?

Imagine if a few bams of the Islamic faith got together to unilaterally declare Jihad on the government. If they made bombs, without having any real idea what they were doing, and sent them to prominent people, do you think they would get away with the defence that the devices were harmless? It would be pointed out that the intent was there, no matter how thick the perpetrators were. They weren't to know that the bombs wouldn't work; the intent to maim or kill was there. At the very least they would be found guilty of attempted murder and the key would be thrown away.

Why were the Ayrshire Bombers treated differently? Two years is a derisory sentence given the fear engendered, not just among the targets, but in the mail sorting offices where these devices turned up. It is a sick joke that our society deems it acceptable to target people because they are Catholic, of Irish descent or because they support Celtic. That's what it comes down to. Banning this piece of shit from Ibrox hardly seems worth it in the grand scheme of things. It's our authorities that should be held to account, not the new club at Ibrox. Yes, Rangers and the new club have a case to answer but so does society at large for tolerating it! And maybe a bit of introspection by our media wouldn't go amiss. Remember all the shite about Lennon 'bringing it on himself'?

Meanwhile, the Record pursues its own vile agenda, making out that this kind of thing is frowned upon by the 'Real Raynjurz Men.' It says that McKenzie's ban, 'underlines the new board’s determination to move forward and distance itself from the many scandals that have come in the wake of the club’s sale to Craig Whyte from previous owner David Murray in 2011.' Oh, right then, bigotry and hatred was unknown at Ibrox until Whyte came along! What planet do these agnivores come from?

So Stuart McCall is taking over as manager until the end of the season. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that. Of course, they couldn't follow Keith Jackson's advice and sign Auld Dignity - he's the one that taught Sooperally everything he knows, after all. The big problem for the team under McCall is going to be away matches against QOS, Falkirk and Cowdenbeath. McCall's style of management has always been to tell his team that if they see a blue shirt coming at them then they should jump out the way and let that player have the ball. Old habits die hard so this could prove a tricky appointment. At least he won't get confused about the changing-room doors now!

Free speech.

 

 

 

 

 

Vile, offensive singing.

GATHERING OF THE KLAN

There was a picture of the directors' box at Ibrox on the BBC website last night and I thought I spotted Auld Dignity. I went onto Willie Vass's website to check and, sure enough, it was him. And not only him - the directors' box was like a Who's Who of Hundom. There was Chris Graham, the new addition to the board as Director in charge of Lists, dressed up in a suit somebody bought for him. Unfortunately, nobody has taught him how to shave yet so he was still a scruffy-looking bastard. Bomber Brown turned up in his usual, ill-fitting suit and even Halloween Houston was invited along. For once, Houston was not the scariest-looking fucker in the vicinity. That honour goes to Mark Dingwall. That's the first time I've ever seen him - jeeeezzzzuzzz! You wouldn't want to meet that on a dark night; or in broad daylight either for that matter!

John Greig was strategically placed to make him look clever; right at the back where his neighbour was a thick plank of wood. Auld Dignity looked his usual, happy self, while down at the front skulked Malcolm Murray; remember him? Murray was keeping right out of the way; for some reason he doesn't like appearing on camera anymore. Still, he had no need to worry; there was no way he was going to be the drunkest one there. A special guest had been brought in; one David Leggat! Everybody's favourite pish-stained alky looked smug as he sat, surrounded by 'Real Raynjurz Men'.

There was a bit of a kerfuffle at one point in the match when one of the usual Bisto punts up the pitch went astray. The player concerned was blinded by the floodlights reflecting off all the baldy nappers in the directors' box. Anyway, the ball landed in amongst the esteemed crowd of directors and hangers-on. John Greig acted instinctively and before he could be subdued he had managed to break three people's legs, two seats and Leggat's pelvis. Leggat was so pished, however, that he didn't feel a thing. Even when leaving he didn't notice since he normally can't walk in a straight line anyway. It was only when he tried to crawl under that big wheelie-bin outside Asda that he calls home that he discovered his injury.

Notable by his absence was Sooperally. He was invited but he'd heard that there was going to be a touch of frost last night and had to make sure his tatties were properly covered; you can never be too careful! Still, I'm sure one of his many pals in the directors' box let him know how the match went. Not that the game was anything to write home about. Despite all the jubilation over 'Real Raynjurz Men' being in charge at Ibrox, the fact remains that the team is shite. All the blazers and brown brogues in the world can't fix that. In fact, the only one that has the money to fix things is, whisper it, Ashley! I wonder how long it'll take for the board to go crawling to him.

Meanwhile, a call has gone out for volunteers to get Ibrox Stadium back up to scratch. Most of The Peeppul, in my experience, are more skilled in the arts of destruction rather than construction so I don't know how that's going to work out. A couple of dozen layabouts, off their heads on Buckie and 'blaw' are hardly going to improve the place, are they? And then there's the problem of the asbestos; how do you stop the denizens of Govan turning up and smoking the stuff? Still, there's a bigger health-and-safety issue than the asbestos to contend with now: the big puddle of toxic pish left behind by Leggat! It's already started to eat through the floor of the directors' box.

I noticed a few folk on Twitter pointing me in the direction of Chris Graham's account, where, no doubt, he was bragging to all and sundry about his appointment to the board. I followed the link to his page and received a pleasant surprise. I'm blocked from viewing his tweets or tweeting him. Considering I've never been in touch with him or been on his page before then he's obviously become aware of me through other means. Maybe he reads this blog! Perhaps I've even made it onto Ze List. Fame at last!

While making insane appointments like Listy Graham, the new board has also busied itself by sending Sandy Easdale to the bus stop. I wonder how he's going to take that. I also wonder how Mike Ashley is going to take it. In all the euphoria, they're getting a bit carried away. They'd better make sure they can stump up the readies when Ashley asks for them before they start acting smart!

THE IBROX DIRECTORS' BOX

 

Mark Dingwall

 

 

 

 

David Leggat

 

 

 

 

Chris Graham

 

 

 

 

 

Malcolm Murray

Bomber Brown

 

 

 

 

 

Craig Houston

 

 

 

 

 

John Greig

BACK TO THE...ER...PAST!

If they were to have a scratch-'n'-sniff section in the Daily Record I think we all know what the aroma would be. As it is, the sickening smell of mint sauce emanates from every sentence written in the rag. Saturday's paper and yesterday's Sunday Mail had a couple of vomit-inducing examples.

First up was Keith Jackson, bragging how the triumph of King on Friday was "a victory for this newspaper. For four years the Daily Record has led the way in exposing all sorts of scandals and shenanigans at the top of the old marble staircase." Notice that it apparently led the way only for 'four years'. That in itself is highly debatable but it also highlights the fact that the DR before that 'led the way' in sycophantically hiding the truth of everything that was going on inside Ibrox. And it looks like it's going to go back to those ways again.

Jackson says that "the new regime should expect the same level of scrutiny" as the previous board. If that's the case then why aren't they already scrutinising it and asking questions? The term 'convicted criminal' is studiously avoided, even though that's exactly what Honest Dave is. It's the same with Paul Murray, who was at Rangers during the era of tax fraud and side letters. Even leaving that aside, he shouldn't be on the board at all according to Stock Market regulations. None of this, however, is even mentioned, let alone questioned. It looks like Jackson is subscribing to the policy of his mentor, James Sexton Traynor.

Next up was one Scott McDermott, who yesterday told us, "Don't forget the human cost of a four-year fiasco at Ibrox". Anyone expecting an analysis of all the creditors that were stiffed, however, was to be sorely disappointed. All we got was a sob story about those that are no longer at Ibrox, having been victims of cost-cutting. "Hospitality, Rangers media, administration, all those departments lost staff either because they didn’t buy into the plans of whatever dodgy regime was in charge at the time – or because they had enough and needed out." Stop! I'm filling up here!

What a revolting hypocrite, eh? Our schools and hospitals were deprived of funding just so the old club could win trophies. Eventually the profligacy caught up with them, so what happened? The club was liquidated and a new club started up; only we've to pretend that liquidation never happened and that the new club is still the old one. Now the 'Real Raynjurz Men' are back in the saddle and the Big Lie is complete. Meanwhile, all those people owed money, including the ambulance service, can just whistle. And we're supposed to shed tears over some Sevco staff losing jobs that they shouldn't have had in the first place! Pass the sick bucket.

And now they're trumpeting about Felix Magrath arriving at Ibrox. He's purely there in an advisory capacity, you understand, and he's not there to take over from Kenny McDowall. He's there to have "a wide-ranging discussion on the best way forward". Well, that's an easy one; get a new team and a new manager. That's that sorted. What else can Magrath do while he's here? Since he's not taking over from Kenny McDowall then perhaps he could take over from Sooperally. What's he like in the potting shed?

While Jackson reports this shite it makes you wonder where his concern about transparency and accountability has disappeared to. Who paid for Magrath to 'jet in'? Did he travel Business Class? Where's the receipt? The Peeppul have a right to know!

And if you think that's bad, Keefy Boy is beating the drum for Auld Dignity himself to make a comeback! Christ, all this 'Real Raynjurz Men' stuff is getting beyond a joke! Jackson thinks that Smith's the one to knock the current squad into shape and challenge Hibs for a place in the play-offs. I think Keef must have been drinking whatever it is that Leggat drinks. Smith was nothing more than a chequebook manager and he passed this 'skill' to his protégé, Sooperally. So how the hell is he going to change anything? Unless...

Since everything seems geared toward airbrushing the last few years out of Ibrox history, why not go the whole hog? It might not help for this season but next season could see Smith back and signing big names again. How will he do it? Well, expect the answer from Jackson in the next few days. There is this thing, you see, called an Employee Benefit Trust...

Apparently The Peeppul's songbook was given another outing on Saturday, helping to fulfil Honest Dave's pledge of a return to the old values. Cue our media going into Deflection Mode. Ignoring the vile singing in Cowdenbeath, they home in on John Guidetti singing on Dutch TV that "the huns are deid"! And, of course, the huns were all over Twitter, claiming that the word is a pejorative term used against Protestants.

One clown says, "We all know what KAH stands for." Well, I certainly wouldn't if I hadn't seen a documentary about Northern Ireland. Apparently 'Hun' has become a generic term over there for anyone in the Loyalist community. How many times does it need to be pointed out? This is not Ulster - it's Scotland. Even Hearts supporters sing 'Go home ya huns' when The Peeppul are sneaking off before the final whistle. 'Hun' is a pejorative term for a supporter of whatever team is playing out of Ibrox and nothing more. So shut it - ya hun!

Finally, get that Pledge button clicked. We need every donation we can get, no matter how small. Remember, you don't have to pay anything until the end of the appeal and even then it's only if we reach our target. So, come on!

John Greig makes a triumphant return to the Directors' Box.

KING FOR A DAY

The whole scenario I set out in Clash of the Agnivores reached its climax yesterday. Honest Dave stood on the Ibrox steps and told The Peeppul what they wanted to hear: he's going to make Rangers (sic) recognisable again, take it back to what it was historically. (Does that mean the resurrection of the sectarian signing policy?) All the consequences of the Big Lie have reached their denouement as the 'Real Raynjurz Men' take their place in the Blue Room. No doubt there was just as much cheering in the corridors of Hampden as there was outside Ibrox.

Meanwhile the Daily Record has been patting itself on the back and jeering childishly at Derek Llambias. The best laugh, though, was Paul Murray thanking the Record "for its courageous journalism over the past four years". Was that when the paper was trumpeting about Whyte with his 'wealth off the radar'? Or perhaps it was Jabba sending items to Whyte for his approval before publishing. Maybe it was Jabba's lamenting Rangers' demise, only to change his tune in some of the worst arse-licking ever seen in a newspaper this side of a lamb dinner. Probably, though, Murray was referring to the 'exclusives' that exposed all the wrongdoing six months after the internet bampots!

Speaking of Jabba, I see Traynor was at Ibrox yesterday, creeping about with those forty pieces of silver weighing his trousers down. He had his snout in the trough just as much as anyone, pocketing a salary for doing nothing and then leaving with a hefty severance payment and a fistful of shares. Now he's on the side calling for the removal of the ones that he was cosying up to a couple of years ago. The man really takes brass necks to a whole new level!

It's good to see, however, that there's one non-sycophant at the Daily Record with a sense of humour. Click this link and have a look at the advert preceding the video of Honest Dave's coronation speech. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/watch-dave-king-address-rangers-5286452
Hopefully The Peeppul haven't already complained and had it removed! As to the video itself you'll notice how quickly the camera pulls away once King has said his piece. The same thing happens if you watch the Sky report on Youtube; that is if you can stand to see Jim White moving funny because his pants are full of semen. No doubt there were a few choruses of 'The Billy Boys' and 'We Are Rangers' to get the party going. Rather than question King in the same way they grilled Peter Lawwell, though, it was probably decided that a bit of judicious editing was the more politic solution.

And now the fun really starts. Trading on shares suspended, no NOMAD, the possibility of being kicked out of the AIM stock exchange, an unfit and improper person in charge, a temporary chairman that, by law shouldn't be there, no money, no credit, Ashley creaming off all the merchandise revenue, nobody willing to invest. Aye, they're coming down the road, eh? This is going to be fun. I give it three months before the pishy bedsheets start waving in Honest Dave's direction!

While The Peeppul celebrate, they'd do well to ruminate on the fact that they wouldn't have a club to follow at all if it hadn't been for all those spivs and crooks they've been trying to get rid of. If a proper liquidation had been carried out then Honest Dave would have been standing in front of Aldi yesterday. The legal and proper way would have been for Duff & Phelps to bugger off after they had failed to sell the club as a going concern, leaving the liquidators to, as their name implies, liquidate the assets for the highest price in order to pay the creditors. Of course, this wasn't what happened; Chateau Charlie got the assets for a knockdown price, started up a new club and claimed that it was 'stull Raynjurz'. The Peeppul should be thanking all these crooks for giving them somewhere to sing their vile songs and for maintaining the Big Lie!

Finally, the fundraising seems to have ground to a halt. Remember, we need every £ we can get so, please, get that button clicked and pledge now.

The true horror of the situation at Ibrox spreads round Govan

P.S. It looks as if one of King's sources of finance has come a cropper already:
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/teenager-caught-35-fake-10-5286665