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Thursday, 18 February 2016

I've moved to Wordpress so that there'll be less problems posting comments. (I hope!)
 
I'm now at:
 

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

TURF WARS

Aw Jeez - he's at it again! Warbs is moaning about artificial pitches before traveling to Rugby Park tonight. (It's good to get the excuses in early!) The guy's been in football for five minutes and already he knows better than everybody else. If artificial pitches are so bad, then why isn't everybody complaining about them? And how is it that tennis players can function on every surface from concrete to half-set custard without moaning about injuries? Away back to the stock exchange and play with your ticker-tape or something! God help him if his team had to play on blaes (or 'rid ash' as we called it in Glasgow) like most youngsters do.

Oh, wait! He's brought hauners with him. Unfortunately, the only person he could get is Sevco player Rob Kiernan. Kiernan goes down the same road as his boss, greeting about 'health and safety'. It's no' fair, apparently, since you can't even do a sliding tackle (i.e. two-footed lunge) without getting injured. I never thought I'd see the day when an Ibrox manager or player was on about 'health and safety'. John Greig probably caused more injuries in his day than any artificial pitch could ever hope to compete with and Ibrox has always had the dubious distinction of being the only stadium in the world with a triage section in the Away changing room. 'It's a man's game,' was what we were always told whenever a Rangers tackle sent an opposition player one way and his right leg the other. It looks like the new club needs to take that on board, instead of behaving like a bunch of big jessies.

So Aberdeen failed to draw level with Celtic last night and it's all the fault of Willie Collum. And it's not just Derek McInnes that's raging; the agnivores are up in arms that their 'great white hope' has been thwarted. Isn't it strange how Collum has suddenly become incompetent after one game when he was a top referee of impeccable professionalism and unimpeachable integrity while making other 'mistakes' game after game? What happened to all the 'evens itself out over the season' stuff; does that not hold true anymore? And Hugh 'No Pope of Rome' Dallas says that Collum is one of Europe's top referees. Surely that should be good enough for our media?

Meanwhile the Record thinks it's newsworthy to let everybody know that Anthony Stokes is friendly with 'bankrupt fraudster' Barry Hughes. Shock! Horror! Er...a quick newsflash for them - there's a convicted fraudster with gangland connections in charge at Ibrox. That piece of information seems to have bypassed them; it's certainly gone under Keith Jackson's radar. Not surprisingly I've received abuse for pointing this out on the DR forum. Apparently, I'm a bigot.

Speaking of bigots, it looks like North Lanarkshire Council is not, after all, going to fly the flag to commemorate the Easter Rising. It seems that it was the SNP behind it all, trying to stir up bigotry and hatred by doing something that the...er...bigots wouldn't like. Labour has pledged to use its majority on the council to stop the flag getting anywhere near a pole. Wait a minute here - I thought that Labour was full of Fenian, terrorist-supporting, bigoted scum? That's what the denizens of Airdrie and Motherwell have been saying for years. Maybe they're all going to take the weans to the Time Capsule at long last!

Strangely, the real story isn't being touched upon here and that is that a bunch of bigots terrorised the council into doing its bidding. Regimental Blues published the names, addresses and phone numbers of all the councillors, who supported the flying of the flag, on its website, telling people, or, rather, peeppul, to use the information as they saw fit. They also stated that "every meeting you sit in, every vote you cast and every move you make within the council will be known to us. We will be watching. We have the winning hand here and we strongly suggest you do not call our bluff." Now that is as clear a threat as you're ever going to see. Worryingly, I don't see any mention anywhere of the police getting involved.

On the Evening Times forum there are quite a few folk that weren't happy about this flag flying and are calling for the Orange Walk to be banned as well. The majority of complainers, however, echo the sentiments expressed in these two posts:

"Cue the serial offended on here, this was a disgraceful attempt by a wee bigoted group of throwbacks from oirland, This is Britain, something some of the posters on here forget, if you all love this ireland that much, and going by the state the Barras/Gallowgate has become, why are you all over here, i will say it again, This is BRITAIN, like it or lump it, too much pandering in this country to minorities with a huge chip on there shoulders."

"Brit born subjects who have this love affair with all things Irish are the product of Faith Schools and continue to muddy the waters of Scottish Society.
History shows the Irish have always failed to integrate successfully into any society they have emigrated to. Chicago along with New York in the1920s and 30s had civil problems with Irish immigrants. They even ruffled Al Capone's feathers for a time."


Perhaps if these two clowns had actually gone to school they would know not only about spelling and grammar but have learned that in Britain and America Irish immigrants weren't allowed to integrate, any more than Italians or Chinese were. In fact, talks to bring Brooklyn into New York nearly hit a stumbling block as the good citizens of Brooklyn didn't want to be associated with the Irish and Italian scum of lower Manhattan!



"Right, what smart-arse swopped my Masonic ring for a plastic one?"

Monday, 15 February 2016

FLAGGING UP BIGOTRY

Well, Alloa's cunning plan seemed to work out and Sevco were lucky to escape with a draw. I haven't seen Warbs moaning about the pitch yet; he's still trying to work out the best way to explain how his players weren't given enough room for a decent run-up for a convincing dive in the penalty box. It's just a pity that Hibs couldn't manage to take advantage. The funniest thing in the papers this weekend, though, was wee Barry Ferguson moaning about a referee. He had two of his players sent off, while Elgin had one and 'Fergie', as the Daily Record calls him (There's nothing like showing how neutral you are, eh?) is absolutely blazing. When will he get it through his head that, no matter how much he talks about Sevco in his column, his Ibrox days are gone, and along with them have gone the preferential treatment he used to rely on!

Nearly as funny, but more pathetic, is the news in the DR that Rangers (sic) and Aberdeen are going to 'join forces' with Celtic in opposing the ECA's madcap scheme to only have Europe's elite competing in the Champions League. And that's just the headline; the article is much worse. The whole piece is about how Sevco, with Aberdeen's help, is going to fight the proposal. Quite how an associate member of the ECA, with no vote and no history at all in Europe is going to do this is not explained. Almost as an afterthought, the Record says, "Celtic’s Lawwell, in his role at the ECA, is also determined to fight tooth and nail to protect Scotland’s place in the competition." It's a good job Peter Lawwell had Sevco to point out to him what he's supposed to do and I'm sure he'll support their endeavours to the best of his abilities. Aren't we lucky to have Sevco to lead Scottish football?

Not in the least bit funny, meanwhile, are the threats by Vanguard Bears over the proposal to fly an Irish flag in North Lanarkshire to commemorate the Easter Rising. They say that if the proposal is approved, then "the 24th April will see a gathering like no other to vehemently oppose this despicable action". That sounds suspiciously like a threat of violence to me. According to these Nazis, it was Cairde na hÉireann that originally asked for the flag to be flown. That, of course, is like a red rag to a bull.

The writer goes on to state how "As recently as 11th September 2015 this group had its main office in Glasgow raided and members charged under Section 13 of the Terrorism Act." That, however, does not tell the whole story. What happened was that the police, for no apparent reason, raided the office, went off with a bagful of CDs etc. and charged the old guy that works in the shop under the Terrorism Act. You can read all about it here. (You'll need to scroll down a bit.) As usual, The Peeppul rewrite things to suit themselves. In an earlier article on VB they spoke about "the George Square No Vote celebrations that were hijacked by nationalists intent on trouble". I read that with my jaw hanging to the floor at the sheer effrontery of it! As for the old guy that was arrested, nothing more has been heard so I assume the police got nowhere with their charges and the whole matter was quietly dropped.

Now, imagine that a large cache of weapons had been discovered at Cairde na hÉireann's office; The Peeppul would have cause to greet about that. Would anyone, especially The Peeppul, accept as a defence that the weapons had not been used against anybody? Not at all. The intention was there and that's good enough for condemnation and even a conviction. Please bear with me on this; there's a good reason for me going with this scenario.

The VBs say about the Easter Rising, "At a time when Britain, indeed most of Europe and their fellow countrymen were dying in the trenches halting the German jackboot, these rebellious cowards staged their rising". Halting the German jackboot? What planet is this guy on? It was all about the men of one empire fighting against those of another. It was a struggle between elites, with ordinary men doing the actual fighting. It's worth pointing out too that the majority of men fighting in the British Army did not even have the vote!

Anyway, in 1914, not long before the war started and while tensions were running high between Britain and Germany, one Edward Carson and his UVF smuggled illegal arms from Germany, with the sole purpose of fighting against the British Army. Here's where my earlier scenario is relevant. It doesn't matter whether or not the guns were used; the intention was clear. The man was a traitor. And yet, there's a fucking great statue of the cunt at Stormont. I wonder if Vanguard Bears would like this statue removed.

Taking advantage of situations has long been a facet of war and revolution. The great victory won by Washington after he crossed the River Delaware only happened because the British garrison was completely relaxed and off-guard, not expecting an attack on Christmas Day. Maybe VB would like the flying of the Stars and Stripes banned as well. Britain itself was not averse to attacking natives when they were engaged elsewhere, often stirring up trouble for the purpose, as was done with the Ndebele and Shona tribes, between whom a war was started so that the British could mop up the pieces and get all the diamonds, ore and coal reserves in what was to become Rhodesia. You can hardly blame the Irish men and women for taking advantage of the situation that presented itself in 1916.

Everyone has moved on since then; even the Queen has apologised for the brutality shown against the Irish people for centuries. All over the world the Irish diaspora will be celebrating the events of 1916, which eventually led to a free, independent Irish state. Even those with no Irish ancestry will be joining in, realising the significance of the event. There will be no problem anywhere with this; even in England there will probably be some commemoration events taking place. Not so, however, in Scotland. Vanguard Bears states that "We will defend our rights and traditions as citizens of the United Kingdom, unlike the current Scottish Government who seem hell-bent in eradicating it." As we always suspected, it seems that those 'rights and traditions' wholly consist of hatred and bigotry.

All the moaning and griping has reminded me of 1989, when there were to be celebrations throughout Europe to commemorate the French Revolution, one of the most important events in history. Margaret Thatcher was vehemently opposed to any such celebrations, stating publicly that the French Revolution was 'not that important'. This led to much ridicule in the press and even a humorous book on Thatcher's view of history. Her supporters claimed that Magna Carta was actually more important to the foundation of modern democracy than the French Revolution. No wonder The Peeppul loved Thatcher so much; she was just as deranged and detached from reality as they are!

It appears that my new blog about Serious Religious Discussion has been a non-starter. I was beginning to think that nobody was interested until I discovered the real reason for the lack of activity; no bugger is able to post comments. I've changed the settings around but it doesn't seem to have made any difference. I might as well give up, since it looks as if it will be less of a discussion and more like me pontificating about everything!

Finally, doing research for a book can have its drawbacks. For my new one, which follows on from 'Fear and Smear', I was looking on Amazon for those ridiculous translations, by a company called Itchy Coo, of Roald Dahl books into what the translators call 'Scots'. You know the kind of thing I mean; I'm sure I've moaned about it on here before. Now, however, when I'm looking at the websites of newspapers etc. I'm being stalked by adverts for this pish, as if I'm interested in a 'Scots' translation of the Gruffalo. (I didn't even like the original book!) Talk about suffering for your art!



"Flags? We didn't have flags at Brentford. In my experience...blah...blah...blah...drone..."


Friday, 12 February 2016

THE BENEFIT OF EXPERIENCE

I was thinking of starting up another blog where I could give everybody the benefit of my experience as a grandfather. What do you mean, what would I know about it? I've been a grandfather for all of two weeks now, so I know everything there is to know! I don't care if you've been a grandparent for fifteen years or whatever; I still know better than you.

Well, it's not any more stupid than listening to the advice of a man that has been involved in football for all of five minutes, is it? And yet, we're all supposed to listen and pay heed to 'Warbs' as he tells us what's wrong with Scottish football. He's been moaning to all and sundry about Alloa reducing the size of their pitch and now he's banging on about artificial pitches. Apparently that's what's holding Scottish football back and if we only had decent grass pitches then we'd have the same TV money flooding in as they do in England. How did football survive without this genius to tell everybody what's gone wrong? I wonder what would happen if Gordon Strachan turned up at the London Stock Exchange and told them how they should be running things.

Has this clown seen the state of Hampden? That's what many grass pitches look like in Scotland and, as I've said on here before, that's a bigger disgrace than one made out of plastic. 'Artificial pitches cause injuries', bleats Warbs. And what the hell does he think happens to players that have to perform on a tattie field?

The Daily Record had an article about some drunk guy in Manchester urinating against the war memorial in St. Peter's Square. Said article has disappeared and even a search on the DR website fails to unearth it. The Daily Mirror still has the story so obviously it's just the Record that has decided to pull it. I wonder why. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that The Peeppul pished all over this very monument in 2008, could it? It certainly wouldn't do to remind folk in Scotland of that particular incident. What would Warbs say?

Meanwhile, a big stooshie has emerged over plans by the European Clubs Association to change the Champions League into a tournament for Europe's 'top twenty' teams, no matter where they sit in their respective leagues. This was bound to happen since the whole thing is already a joke with countries like England able to send four teams, while the winner of the Europa League is now able to qualify automatically. Really, it should be the champions from each European league that take part, with an exception made for the holders. At the moment it is not a 'champions' league. Neil Doncaster says,  'If Europe's top clubs are allowed automatic access, then that could leave clubs like Celtic and Rangers (sic) on the outside looking in'. Er...I don't think he needs to worry about Sevco; I think their noses are going to be pressed against the window for a long while yet, if they stay alive that is!

The corporate services committee of North Lanarkshire Council has approved a request to fly the Irish flag over council buildings on May 24th to commemorate the Easter Rising of 1916. Holy shit, Batman! Can you imagine the furore that's going to cause? In a masterclass of understatement, the Daily Record says, 'The decision to fly the flag will still have to be approved by the full council, and it is expected there will be fierce opposition from councillors to the move.' I bet there'll be! Fortunately for all concerned, the friendly town of Larkhall is in South Lanarkshire. I'm sure, though, that their brothers from Airdrie and Harthill will be there to make sure their 'tradishuns' and 'culchur' aren't trampled on!

On the political front, is there nothing like a Hansard for the Scottish Parliament? I've looked at the website and all I can find is mere skeleton outlines of debates etc. I wanted to read the full text of Jackie Baillie's speech about organ donation. Apparently, while other parties left it as a free vote, Scottish Labour used the whip and Baillie's speech was supposedly very party political, a charge she denies. There's a guy going on about it in the Record, telling us how his wife has cystic fibrosis and how he blames the SNP for 'playing politics' with the issue. The whole thing hinges on the speech that Baillie gave; I'd like to hear or read it for myself. The article in the Record, meanwhile, waits until the very end to inform us, almost as an afterthought, that the man writing the piece is actually standing for election to Holyrood for RISE. It appears that the knives are out already.

Finally, bad news yet again for The Peeppul as King's warchest ends up in the hands of the police.



A song for Warbs.



Wednesday, 10 February 2016

NEW BLOG

I've started up a new blog for religious and philosophical debate. (Too much time on my hands!) Have a look and see if you're interested.

http://seriousreligiousdebate.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/is-he-there-or-not.html

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

GERIATRICS, GENIUSES AND GERS

There was drama in yesterday's Scottish Cup quarter-finals draw. El Presidente, Alan McRae, almost did the unthinkable. The drill had been explained to him: the ball that's been heated a bit in the microwave has got Sevco in it. Make sure you get Celtic (the one that's been in the freezer) out the way first before drawing the Sevco ball; we can't have those bastards laughing at our team being hammered by them! As arranged, McRae got Celtic out of the way before picking the Sevco ball. Unfortunately he made a complete arse of it. He picked out the ball that had 'Dumbarton or Dundee' for the Home team and then lifted the next one. Being a bit on the old side, McRae's circulation is not all it could be, so he hadn't noticed that he'd picked up the warm ball. His blood must have frozen when he took out the slip of paper and saw his mistake. He was setting Sevco up, if they managed to defeat Kilmarnock, for an AWAY draw! He bumbled and muttered something about there "being a problem here". A quick story was made up about an open ball and the draw was redone; properly this time. Phew! Very nearly a catastrophe!
 
The Daily Record decided to wheel out (if you'll pardon the pun) 'financial genius' Kieran Prior once again. It's strange that an article that is reporting an interview doesn't have a single inverted comma in the whole piece. Anyway, this demon of the stock market is advising Dave King to pursue Ashley through the courts, completely ignoring the fact that Honest Dave is skint while Ashley has almost unlimited resources. If that's the kind of financial advice this guy gives, then it's no wonder that he's always dressed as if his mammy got his clothes down at the local Oxfam shop. Even his wheelchair looks as if it's seen better days. We're constantly being told how this guy is a 'former Goldman Sachs trader', which immediately begs the question as to why he's not anymore. 
 
Apparently, the Daily Record earlier claimed that Prior had an IQ of 234, which is seemingly well beyond mere genius level. This bit of the article was later removed but, luckily, the Celtic Blog took a screenshot and we can all still have a laugh. (Thanks go to Hector for providing the link over on Bampots Utd.) It got me thinking about IQs and reminded me of the time I tried out a book, called 'Find Your Own IQ'; it was lying about my ma's house for some unknown reason. The book recommended that you do a few of the tests before marking them and then work out an average. I did five of the tests and couldn't help noticing that they got easier as I went along, since I was getting used to the style of questioning and what was expected. When I marked them, using the answers at the back, the fifth test I'd done showed an IQ way off the radar, even beyond Kieran Prior levels! This particular test, and the high score on the fourth one, made my average approach the mid-200s. Now, I can be a real arrogant bastard about my intelligence but even I could see that the whole thing was a load of shite. I've been sceptical about IQs ever since. If Keiran Prior has got one of the highest IQs ever recorded, then it completely proves my point since, as the Celtic Blog points out, he's been investing in a loss-making venture with a parade of crooks at the helm! Then again, maybe he's been the master manipulator behind everything; a sort of Sevconian Keyser Soze.
 
Probably the best laugh in the DR is their article asking if Nacho Novo is a 'legend'. If they wanted an affirmative answer to that, they should have asked Novo himself as he certainly thinks he deserves legendary status. Actually, Novo was an average player, who never achieved anything of note outside of Rangers, which is a telling fact. His goals were mostly achieved by employing Auld Dignity's favourite technique; one that Kenny Miller was adept at exploiting as well. An opposition player would be fouled and while everyone's attention was focused on what was an obvious free kick, Novo would sneak in with the ball and score. As to his assertion that he 'said NO', it is always forgotten that Martin O'Neill didn't actually want him. He's hardly the stuff of legend. Then again, for a support that voted an out-and-out thug like John Greig as the 'Greatest Ever Ranger', maybe Novo deserves his place in that particular pantheon!
 
Finally, there's recently been a plethora of videos on online editions of newspapers, showing operations and disgusting things like abscesses being lanced, pimples being squeezed etc. At least you get the choice about clicking on the video or not. I remember a few years ago these kind of things used to be shown on TV, usually on the likes of 'The One Show' when folk were having their evening meal. I wrote a poem about it at the time:


There's nothin' mair scunnerin', an' it fair leaves ye wunnerin'
Jist what they ur thinkin' aboot
When ye jist start yer tea an' then oan the TV
There's a guy wi' ays arse hingin' oot.

It's a big operation tae cure constipation,
He's no' went fur nearly a year.
The cameras ur rollin', an' there's wan in ays colon
In HD, so you'll see it clear.

Ye shun yer fish fingers when the camera lingers
Oan what it is causin' the block.
No wanny yer chips has gone near yer lips;
Ye've forgotten them due tae the shock.

The surgeons expel it, ye can near enough smell it
As a year's worth-a waste aw comes doon.
Ye've never seen worse an' ye let oot a curse
As yer stomach it burls roon' an' roon'.

Yer appetite's flown an' ye let oot a groan
Cos ye don't feel in very good nick.
Ye swear like a navvy as ye run fur the lavvy
Cos ye think that ye're gonnae bae sick.

A law should bae passed that they canny broadcast
They things till past nine o'cloak.
It's no' actin' fairly tae show programmes early
That jist end up gie'n ye the boak!



"Oh, fuck!"

Saturday, 6 February 2016

WHO'S THE MINNOWS?

Imagine if the East Kilbride v Celtic match were to end up in a 0-0 draw. The headlines, of course, would be how EK had managed to hold Celtic and how Celtic had struggled to break down a determined EK defence. Nobody would dream of reporting things the other way round, as if the minnows had struggled against the Premiership team and that Celtic had held EK to a draw. And yet a Premiership team today played against a team from the lower leagues and it's been reported as if the top-tier side was the bold minnows that managed to hold on for a draw!

"Gers (sic) can't find a breakthrough as Killie hold tight to earn a replay" says the Daily Record. WTF? Kilmarnock has 'earned' a replay against a team from a lower league! I know the DR is merely the mouthpiece for Level 5 but this is getting ridiculous. I suppose if Kilmarnock win the replay they'll be 'plucky underdogs' that got the rub of the green. That is, of course, assuming Kilmarnock does win the replay. Lee McCulloch is probably down the Ludge as we speak, having it explained to him how things are supposed to go. Stuart McCall will no doubt be on hand to give him a few pointers.
 
Meanwhile, the ones that couldn't afford a ticket for today's match stood outside the Ibrox Megastore, waving banners and frightening passers-by with their Halloween masks. I'm sure Mike Ashley will be tossing and turning in his bed tonight! The Daily Record says:

"Earlier this year, a section of the Newcastle home support unfurled a 'Sports Direct Shame' banner in their match against Manchester United - exposing the company to a worldwide television audience as well as the 49,600-strong St James' Park crowd."

It goes on:

"Rangers (sic) fans have unfurled similar banners over the last three years in anger at the Newcastle owner's involvement in the club's affairs."

No mention of the television audience there! Maybe that's because it was just Angus Og and his maw, watching on BBC Alba!

Today's demonstrators have possibly undermined their own case somewhat. I could be wrong, but some of those tops and jackets look suspiciously like Sports Direct, o-ff-i-shell merchandise!



I see on Twitter that some of The Peeppul are trying to justify the Herald not sticking up for its journalist and Angela Haggerty being sacked by the Sunday Herald. One of them has posted a picture of folk during the Independence Referendum, demanding that Nick Robinson be sacked by the BBC. He seems to think that both circumstances are the same. He just doesn't get it, does he? The BBC stood by Robinson and refused to give in to pressure. This kind of thing happens all the time, with folk demanding resignations or sackings. The Herald, though, was all too quick to give in to the mob. That's what the NUJ, and countless others, are annoyed at!

The next thing for The Peeppul to get riled about is the comedy session at the court case involving Ashley and the SFA. There have been some excellent one-liners from the bench that even Bob Hope would have been proud of. There's no point in me repeating them all here. You can read them over on The Clumpany's blog by clicking on the button on the right.

Finally, anybody that knows me knows that I like nothing better than a good philosophical argument. I include religion in that and love debating on theology and soteriology. I once held two Jehovah's Witnesses at my door for nearly an hour and they had to make desperate excuses about having to pick up children in order to escape! It transpires that Wulliewonthe, who used to post on McMurdo's blog, thought I never bothered to debate with him, when the reality was that Merlin didn't allow my posts. So everybody else can look away a minute as I ask a question to get a debate going. Nobody else in a Reformed faith, including a couple of ministers, have been able to answer this one. So here goes:

If Double Predestination is true and God chose, right back at the beginning of time, who would be saved and who would be condemned to everlasting torment, what was the point of Christ?

Right, WWH! I'm looking forward to an answer to that conundrum. Everybody else is quite welcome to join in, as long as you stick to the point!



A seriously worried Mike Ashley hears about today's demonstration.


Friday, 5 February 2016

NOTHING QUITE LIKE IT FOR COOLING THE BLOOD.

I tuned into the second half on Wednesday night and my first shock wasn't the score; it was the state of that pitch, if you could call it that. It looked more like the kind of terrain Hector might traverse in his plus-fours as he looks to murder innocent, unsuspecting deer! It was pretty obvious that Celtic couldn't cope with the ground, just as they couldn't cope at Hampden last week. (Do you think Hampden will be in that state when the final of the Petomane Cup is played?) It highlights a major deficiency in Celtic's training methods, as they should be looking at different ways of playing on different surfaces. There is also the old adage of 'horses for courses' and there's no point in sending out a team of silky-skilled players onto a quagmire where every pass is stopped dead in its tracks after a few feet by a hole or a divot.
 
When a pitch is as badly cut-up as that there is more chance of injury to players, which might well explain why Ronny Deila doesn't train on that kind of surface. But, then, why should he expect his players to train in mud just because other clubs won't make sure their pitches are playable? And we're not talking about some Junior League team here; this is Aberdeen, who should surely have enough money to keep the pitch in a decent state. It's the same with Hampden. Is the SFA honestly happy with  the world laughing at what passes as a playing field in our national stadium?
 
And now we've got Bobby Connor, ex Aberdeen 'ace', saying in the Daily Record that "the fact Celtic aren’t running away with it is a disgrace from their point of view." The article goes on about huge budgets, spending more than anyone else, blah...blah...blah. Funnily enough, I don't remember anyone saying that about Sevco when they failed to get out of the Championship at the first time of asking. Sevco also isn't 'running away with it' this season either, despite their team being the second-dearest in Scotland. I do remember, though, that plenty of excuses were made for Sooperally's team because of the standard of the pitches they had to play on. Apparently such pitches were shameful, so how much more shameful is it for top-tier teams to have to play on the same kind of surface?
 
This might sound like I'm making excuses. Too bloody right I am! Is it too much to expect that pitches in the Premiership, or at our national stadium, are up to standard, instead of just being suited to the kind of 'thump it and lump it' style of play employed by Aberdeen on Wednesday? It seems that the way to beat Celtic now is to get a local farmer in to churn up the pitch with a plough just before they come visiting. Can you imagine the furore if Barcelona or the like turned up for a European tie and was expected to play on that? They'd probably refuse; and rightly so. It's time some kind of standard was set for playable surfaces and clubs should be fined if they don't provide them.
 
Meanwhile, Sevco has finally got round to giving notice to Sports Direct. The Daily Traynor, of course, is all over the story, trumpeting it as magnificent news, even though the contract still has another seven years to run! Honest Dave must have broken a mirror somewhere by trying to look in it. The Peeppul are treated to the usual, triumphalist guff, which is sounding more and more desperate. Honest Dave is quoted extensively, obviously missing out some important points, like the truth for starters!
 
"An unanticipated investment [dodgy loan] was made to pay off the Sports Direct loan and to recover all security held by Sports Direct. That has now been completed [until Big Mike points out another clause in the small print] and the club has formally given notice to end the relationship with Sports Direct while still reserving our right to proceed with challenges to the existing suite of contracts and side agreements in a court of law [Masonic judges urgently required]."
 
"There has been substantial investment in Auchenhowie. [Ally's been in to cut the grass.] This has resulted in the broken operation that we inherited last year now being fully-functional again. [No more trips to Pizza Hut] This entailed a complete revamp of the personnel, technology and infrastructure [We've hired a man with an iPhone and that leaky tap's been fixed] and further investment is planned [If those Chinese gangsters are still willing to lend. Tongs ya bass!]."
 
"There has also been necessary investment into the infrastructure and facilities at Ibrox. [Leggat's pish has finally been mopped up and there's a new lavvy roll in one of the cubicles.] The stadium and its surrounds were severely neglected by prior Boards that were intent on massive cost-cutting measures. Further significant investment is required at Ibrox and the board is presently considering a programme of work [A couple of tins of paint nicked out the shipyard.] to ensure that it is returned to its status as one of the best and most iconic stadiums in Britain. [So keep up the singing, lads!] Given the scale of what is required this will take some time to complete. [i.e. Yer weans will be in their cold, cold graves before it transpires.]"

"The club invested substantially pre-season in new player and management contracts. [Those side letters have been shown to be perfectly acceptable by a Law Lord.] This was necessary to provide a team that could play attractive football [take penalties] while competing in the Championship [against part-timers] with the aim of securing promotion to the Premiership next season. The players and management will continue to pursue these objectives for the balance of the season. [Unless we go bust.]
The Board also promised the manager he would have access to funds in the January transfer window if he felt players [Action Man's Heids] were available to bring in early and improve the overall squad in advance of next season. The manager has taken advantage of this opportunity [he got ONE player he wanted] and will also now commence the identification of players [big, hacking bastards] to further improve the squad during the close season. [Anybody lend us some players? No reasonable offer refused.]"

"Work is ongoing to merge the existing supporters groups. [McMurdo and his mob will be banned for life.] The new organisation that emerges will provide Rangers fans with a way to get even closer to the club and to increase the supporter shareholding position. [Geeze yer money!]
Overall, the club is in a substantially better position – on and off the pitch – than it has been for some time. [Which isn't saying much.] The Board continues to ensure that the club is run within the balance required to secure success on the pitch while simultaneously funding the cash shortfall that is required [with more and more dodgy loans] until we have a sustainable business model. [And then all those loan sharks will have to be paid back. That's when I'm off back to the Veldt.]
The club has not secured fair value for much of its expenditure over the last few years. [Especially when you include Sooperally's wage packet.] Under the present Board that is no longer the case. [But, for fuck's sake, don't ask to see the books!]

Aye, onwards and upwards, eh?

I haven't been writing as much on here recently since I'm currently working on a follow-up to 'Fear and Smear' ('Son of Fear and Smear - The Revenge' or something like that.) I hope to have this available before the elections for the Scottish Parliament.

My wife is cooking lamb on Sunday for dinner. My daughter's partner is a Hibby so is looking forward to Sunday's match. My daughter's going to phone across when the dinner's ready, when he's going to pause the match until he's eaten. If anybody texts him about the game he's just going to say, "Paused for lamb shank." Now, I'm all for folk being fanatical about their team, but that's taking things too far!


 
Warbs makes sure he's ready in the event that Sevco fails to gain promotion.