JABBA THE AGNIVORE

JABBA II - SON OF JABBA

Today, in the Daily Record, it was Jabba: The Next Generation. Keith Jackson has taken over the mantle and seems to be continuing where his predecessor left off. '...this country’s pool of journalistic talent has become a great deal more shallow than it was just a week ago.' Aye, right!

In true Jabba style, the headline has nothing to do with what he is actually talking about. The piece is meant to be about Green's boycott of Dundee United, but degenerates into recycling Traynor's tired ramblings about how Rangers have been hard-done by. Oh, and there's a nice hagiography of Traynor himself thrown in for good measure!

Apparently Traynor was a giant among men, an intrepid searcher for the truth and the epitome of journalistic integrity. Now, I only know Traynor from his Daily Record and 'Your Call' days; for all I know he might have been a wonderful journalist when he was with the Express and the Herald. In my experience, however, he was an almighty blowhard, who sold his soul to David Murray and basically became the mouthpiece of Ibrox. 

So, as a sop to those that might accuse him of the same bias, Jackson accuses Green of giving in to the 'internet bampots.' But, really, according to Jackson's tirade, you can't blame him. After all, it was the 'internet bampots' that forced Rangers into Division 3!

This re-writing of hitory is worthy of any Stalin or Hitler enthusiast. Rangers went into liquidation, Green started a new club after illegally buying the assets and then applied for, nay demanded, admission to the SPL. The SFA and SPL were too cowardly to enforce the rules and passed the buck to the clubs. The sporting integrity that the agnivores love to put in inverted commas, was simply applying the rules. Letting Rangers jump the queue into Division 3 was against the rules, but we're all supposed to ignore that.

'A succession of cowardly chairmen trotted out the line they were “listening to their fans” when the truth was they were terrified that if they did not follow the orders of the keyboard clatterers then they might be next to get it. Traynor grew weary of operating in such a climate.' What a disgusting thing to write. What does 'get it' mean? Surely he doesn't mean death threats, bullets in the post, parcel bombs? We all know which team's supporters resort to those kinds of tactics, internet bampots or not!

So it looks as if Traynor's spirit lives on. I'd swear that he wrote this column himself and stuck somebody else's name on it. But sycophancy runs deep at the Daily Record and, sickening as it seems, this was written by somebody other than Jabba. 

I remember when Alex Cameron, the man police horses loved to hate, shuffled off this mortal coil, they had some eulogies in the Daily Record. The stories given were offered as evidence of what a character he was but merely served to show what a horrible individual he was. Similarly, nobody has jumped forward with stories of Traynor taking cub reporters under his wing or doing favours for colleagues. No. Instead, we are told that he was 'Machiavellian' and 'brutal.' Yep, he sounds like a fine work colleague. 

Anyway, I can keep my page going. Traynor is gone but not forgotten.

Jabba is dead. Long live Jabba!

'Where's ma lamb dinner?'