A TALE OF TWO FERGIES

As I suspected, the quote about Celtic attributed to Alex Ferguson turns out to be a pack of lies. Apparently, some sad Bisto Kid posted it on Facebook, thinking he would rile up 'the taigs.' Despite a poster on McMurdo's blog claiming that it worked a treat, the fact is that his 'quote' was pretty much ingnored by those on the Celtic side. It was the Bisto Kids that picked up on it and re-posted it all over the place. I imagine they all feel a bit stupid now. But, then again, perhaps not. They have a tendancy to swallow their own lies whole and to repeat them ad nauseum until they actually believe they are true! All the rubbish about the chanting and singing of songs about Lee Rigby in Brentford is a case in point. It's been proven that it's a load of Craig Whyte; but that doesn't stop them going on about it as if it really happened.

Another Ferguson was in the Daily Record, with a piece so disgusting and hypocritical that Jabba would have been proud of it. Barry Ferguson decided to get his chubby-stump crayons out and lecture us all about racism in football. He describes the time he went to a football match and bananas were thrown onto the pitch when Mark Walters was playing for Rangers. That, however, seems to be the sum total of his recollections of racism in Scottish football. No prizes for guessing who Rangers were playing that day! Yes, the behaviour at that match was disgraceful, but it was hardly an isolated incident. Ferguson forgets similar behaviour being exhibited by Rangers, and other teams', fans at numerous matches.

There is also the little matter of something that the Scottish football and civil authorities like to pretend doesn't exist: anti-Irish racism. I remember quite a few occasions when potatoes were thrown onto the trackside at Celtic Park in a vile reference to the Potato Famine. This, however, along with the Famine Song, was just viewed as 'banter.' Either that or it is classed as 'sectarianism.' And if the Irish Government has the nerve to complain about this racism they are accused of overreacting.

Scotland likes to pretend that it's a friendly place and suffers none of the racism that blights other countries. In reality, however, it has a long way to go. Racism is not just about the colour of somebody's skin.

Anyway, enough of the serious stuff and back to matters at Ibrox. The Messiah has held talks with the Krays and noises are being made about 'ways forward' etc. The Bisto Kids are getting over-excited with all this and are banging on about millionaires, billionaires and whatever-else-aires all lining up to waste their cash, I mean invest, in Bisto FC. They're all predicting happy days and European football within a couple of years. A couple of things, however, seem to have escaped their notice.

Jim McColl, the reputed billionaire (where have we heard that one before?) and Requisitioner has made it quite clear that he has no intention of providing any funds. King, meanwhile, is nothing short of a crook and it is doubful if he could be considered a 'fit and proper person' to run a bath, never mind run a football team.

The Bisto Kids are adamant that he should be found 'fit and proper' and are already making threatening noises about what might happen if he is not declared so. As usual, they revert to type and think that intimidation is the way to go about things. If the authorities give into this and let King be installed as chairman or whatever then it will just show Scottish football, and Scotland, as frightened to stand up to these bullies. But, we'll wait and see what happens.

I read the other day on Phil Mac Whatsit's blog that a food-bank collection would be in operation at Firhill today. I find it rather mystifying that this was not mentioned in the Daily Record. This paper constantly tries to flaunt its Socialist credentials and pretends to be the champion of the poor in Scotland; so why no mention of this worthwhile project? Obviously the problem is that the wrong team is involved. If said collection was going on at Ibrox then we would never have heard the end of it, even though we all know that any food donations wold just end up on Sooperally's plate!

The 4-0 victory against East Fife has got the Bisto Kids going overboard again. You really have to laugh at them going on about the 'Rampaging Gers' when their team manages to trounce a bunch of butchers and bakers and candlestick makers! Meanwhile, according them, the Celtic win over Ajax was 'lucky.' They're all going on about their 'relentless march to the top' but really are getting carried away with themselves. Beating teams full of part-timers is one thing but just wait until they get into the Second Tier and have to play against professionals! Oh, I forgot, The Messiah is going to plough billions in and they'll be signing players from Barcelona and Man Utd!

And another bit of delusion from the Bisto Kids. Over on McMurdo's blog they're banging on about all the 'friends' they're making in the lower leagues and how they're spreading the wealth among the diddy teams. This means, in their minds, that nobody will ever vote against them again. In other words, Bisto FC is trying to bribe everyone while their fans see to the intimidation. Mind you, the way the fans of Bisto FC behave the wee teams will be lucky if they break even when Bisto comes to call!

Finally, like Paul Murray, The Messiah has already got a board lined up to take over. Obviously the Krays will still be involved but he has also announced the inclusion of Lester Piggot, Ken Dodd and Ernest Saunders. Ronald Biggs is yet to be confirmed but a source said that he is excited to be considered for the Great Gravy Train Robbery.

'Remember this is a gift. But some day, and that day may never come, we'll call on you to do a service for us.'