WHO ARE EU KIDDING?

The mind of a Bisto Kid is a strange thing. They've got so used to the doublethink about club and company that they make statements that contradict each other completely but don't see anything wrong whatsoever. A prime example is McMurdo's, admittedly deserved, ridiculing of the Requisitioners. The latter claimed in the newspapers that Brian Stockbridge, the budding Steven Spielberg, was being investigated by the Serious Fraud Office. As it turned out, however, somebody had reported Stockbridge to the SFO. As McMurdo pointed out:

"There is a world of difference between reported and being investigated, of course."

Quite right; which makes the statements on McMurdo's site, and elsewhere, about the EU investigating supposed 'financial doping' of Celtic by Glasgow City Council, quite laughable. There is no record of any such investigation taking place either on the EU website or with any other reputable source. Oh, one 'newspaper' has picked it up: an online rag called 'This Is Money.' This organ is owned by what used to be called Associated Press Ltd, which owns the Daily Mail. True to form, this website is concerned with throwing dirt at any and every left-wing cause or organisation it can find. This includes the Co-operative Bank and the Labour Party and Celtic has been dragged into the firing line. Even this scandal sheet, however, stops short of claiming there is an EU investigation.

The truth is that the Bisto Kids are desperate to find something, anything, that they can point a finger about. Knowing, in their heart of hearts, that their old club was involved in cheating and swindling and that their new club is full of gravy-train riders, they are obsessed to the point of psychosis about dragging Celtic down to their own level. Af first only one or two of them peddled this crap but now they are all at it. It's being repeated over and over, which convinces them that it is true. Consequently, they have all been sending e-mails and letters to the EU, saying, 'It's no' fair!' The fact that all these bams are reporting their delusions to the EU, however, does not mean that the EU is taking any notice of them!

"There is a world of difference between reported and being investigated, of course." Remember that!

The Requisitioners had their rally on Thursday night as promised. From the sound of the applause on the Youtube video it seems that there were not too many there. It was basically just a 'greetin' meetin' and achieved nothing at all. They wheeled Nacho Novo out at the end to say, 'Nacho, he support the Requeeseeeetioners!' Couldn't he just have said, 'No'?

Amid all the moaning about Charles Green and Jack Irvine, they found time to have a joke. Some faceless ned stood up and made a pathetic quip about Celtic 'being behind their boys.' Cue the laughter from the bigots, including the ones at the table. At first I thought Gordon Smith was going to abstain on the grounds of good taste but, of course, he allowed himself a little snigger as well. After all the ridiculous furore about Peter Lawell's joke I hope our media are going to make as big a fuss about this. I'm not going to hold my breath, though!

A bigot that regularly posts on McMurdo's website was on yesterday with his usual anti-Catholic, anti-Irish, anti-Celtic slabbers. In among all this he compares the media treatment of Ian Black with that of James Forrest. I think the Bisto Kids would be better not to make too much noise about Black. Have you seen all the stuff about match fixing in England? Apparently it's been going on in Scotland as well. Anyone investigating such matters would be bound to go straight to somebody that is known for betting against his own team. I think that's a bit more serious than forgetting to zip up your flies after a pee!

Auld Pishy, meanwhile, is going on about warchests. He bangs on about Hughie Green's promise of £25 million being available to Sooperally when Bisto FC get to play in the big boys' playground. "Where is it?" he cries. Of course, we all know where it went. Chateaux in the South of France don't pay for themselves, you know! And have you seen the size of the fat bastards making the chairs in the boardroom groan in protest? The upkeep of those stomachs must cost a fortune. And we haven't even started on Sooperally's £800,000-odd annual Greggs bill.

Still, Pishy should console himself with the news that Bisto is not going to need this warchest. Hasn't he heard about the EU investigation? Apparently, Celtic won't even be there when Bisto get up to the top tier!

Barry Ferguson EBT, spouts his usual pish in the Daily Record. "Rainjurz urnae deid...blah blah...Ah pyoor luvd the Auld Firm gemmes, so Ah did...blah blah...Scottish fitba needs Rainjurz...blah blah..." He also claims that Celtic are scared of 'Rainjurz'. Scared of what? A new team that looks as if it might not be around this time next year? Aye, that's right, Barry, everybody's shittin' themselves just thinking about them! I think he must be drinking the same stuff as Pishy!

Finally, I see that Max Clifford's trial takes place in March. He pleaded not guilty at the beginning of October, protesting his innocence outside the court. Isn't that what Stuart Hall and Ian Watkins said as well? Still, innocent until proven guilty and all that. I'll be paying close attention to this case since Clifford's friend seems to think it is okay to accuse all and sundry at Celtic Park for covering up the crimes Clifford is accused of.

BMK?

"Nacho no like Meeesta Coistee no more. He not geeve Nacho job. Nacho wanted hees share of the graveee! Nacho blame the board. They bastardos! Nacho pay them back beeeeeg time!"

McMURDO KNEW?

Usually I try to keep my blog light-hearted and only occasionally bring up serious topics. I am heartily sickened, however, by the sheer hypocrisy shown by many Bisto Kids. Now, I've made my views known about the situation in Northern Ireland clear quite often on here but I'll say it again. Like many in mainland Britain I see it as something to be well out of and I look forward to the day when an indpendent Scotland can breathe easily and say that it has nothing to do with us. I don't like the Green Brigade's hijacking of Celtic matches to put forward political ideas to do with NI and agree with the majority that Celtic is going to have to do something about them.

I find absolutely breathtaking, however, that the supporters of Bisto FC have the gall to complain about the Green Brigade. Many of them were on the Daily Record forum yesterday, spouting off about how this kind of thing has no place in football and that the SFA should do something about it. This from a support that never tires of singing about guarding Derry's Walls. That, equally, has no place in football and yet not one word is ever raised against it in our media.

The thing that really annoys me, though, is the constant harping on about child abuse. It reared its ugly head again yesterday on McMurdo's blog, when somebody said that it was disgusting to use this subject for point scoring. McMurdo's reply?

"Is using the raping of children to point score as bad as covering it up?"

The implication, of course, being that Celtic knew about the abuse Torbett was inflicting and looked the other way. They all keep screaming about this and one Facebook page even calls for 'justice for the victims.' It seems, however, that these particular victims are the only ones they care about.

They constantly call for an investigation into Celtic (all for the sake of the victims, you understand) but I've heard no calls for any such investigation into the Elm Guest House scandal or the possible crimes of Michael Souter. The revelations about Jimmy Savile were discussed fully on McMurdo's blog;  the emphasis, of course, being on the fact that he was a Catholic and had received a Papal knighthood. No mention at all of his close friendship with members of royalty and the Establishment or the huge cover up of his crimes by politicians and police. And has there been any word of condemnation regarding Ian Watkins's disgusting crimes? No doubt they were all searching the internet to see what kind of school he went to before deciding whether or not to comment!

Every single Bisto blog or post about child abuse always claims that they find it a vile crime and that they are only concerned for the victims. A fine sentiment and I would certainly condemn anyone involved in this crime, whether priest, minister, politician or youth worker. These blogs, on the other hand, are very selective about who they condemn. They are not interested in, and in no way concerned for, the victims of child abuse. All they are interested in is following a bigoted agenda of trying to contend that such crimes are perpetrated only by Catholics, or those involved with Celtic FC. Perhaps they could explain how their ditty, 'Who shagged all the boys' is standing up for the victims?

When it comes to anyone else involved in these crimes they either ignore it or try to defend the accused. For example, when it transpired that Max Clifford was being investigated as part of Operation Yewtree, Bill McMurdo was quick to jump to the guy's defence, saying how he had known him for years and what a good bloke he was etc etc. If it turns out that Clifford is actually guilty of such crimes should we all then wave banners saying, 'McMurdo Knew'?

If the Bisto Kids are so convinced of a cover up at Celtic Park and that there is ample evidence of this, then why do they not go to the police? I would. If I even suspected that somebody was covering up such crimes then I would not hesitate to contact the police, no matter who that somebody might be.

I used to believe that paedophiles were folk that had been abused themselves and they then grew up thinking this was normal. I'm sure there are people like that but the revelations about organised gangs have changed my mind. There certainly needs to be an in-depth investigation of these atrocities and of those that covered up the crimes. That, however, does not mean just an investigation of one particular organisation, but all of them. I would welcome prosecutions of Catholic clergy involved in this crime, as well as an investigation into any cover ups. Unlike the Bisto Kids, however, I also want similar investigations into the Government, the police and the media.

Rant over.

BIG BATTALIONS

Well, I certainly got the wrong end of the stick when Auld Pishy was going on about 'Neutrals'. I thought he was talking about McMurdo and his followers but it turns out he was talking about the Vanguard Bears. He blames them for convincing The Laxative to change his mind about which side he was going to support at the AGM. I think maybe he overerestimates the power of this group; then again, maybe not. The Vanguard Bears are known to have been forging links with Loyalist terrorists in Belfast. Perhaps they've been learning persuasion techniques!

The Vanguard Bears are a secretive bunch, whose society you can't join unless a current member nominates you. This makes sure that the 'wrong sort' don't get a (left) foot in the door. They claim to be fighting to uphold their 'traditions'. Exactly what those traditions are they don't say but they seem to involve marching about banging drums and blowing flutes and keeping 'The Fenians' in their place. What other 'traditions' do they have?

Anyway, back to Auld Pishy. If truth be told, the 'Sons of Struth,' as the ones moaning about the Bisto Board call themselves, don't number a lot more than the Vanguard Bears. A few wee neds waving their mammy's best bedsheet about with writing on it does not make a mass protest. Pishy, however, talks of 'big battalions' protesting. I think, in his drunken haze, he's heard the hordes singing 'The Sash My Father Wore' and thought they were singing something about 'Sack the Board'.

Meanwhile the Bisto Kids are still wanking themselves silly over their belief that Celtic are in financial trouble. The Footballtaxhavens website keeps feeding this fantasy, which nobody seems to give any credit except fot the Bisto Kids. Oh, I tell a lie; the story has been picked up by one newspaper, if you can call it that. UK Column is a conspiracy-filled rag, edited and mostly written by a guy that was kicked out of UKIP. He hangs about on the fringes of the Tory Party and, if the stuff he writes is anything to go by, on the fringes of sanity. He believes that the whole of Europe is involved in a big conspiracy to destroy Britain. He is also a firm believer in British Israelism. That sounds familiar, eh? He's hardly what you'd call a reliable source!

Speaking of British Israelism, Mystery History McMurdo has a deserved go at Pishy on his blog, as well as relating the story that one of the Requisitioners approached the Krays offering to call off the campaign, such as it is, if he was allowed onto the board. Apparently the Krays told him where to go. The regulars on McMurdo's blog all join in having a go at 'The Rebels,' some of them wanting them banned from Ibrox.  

Incredibly, one of them quotes a Paul Weller song, which was sung by The Jam, called 'Standards.'

"We make the standards, We make the rules, if you don’t abide by them, you Must be a Fool. We have the Power to control this whole land, you never must ? our motives or plans."

Paul Weller was lampooning the Establishment and how they'll do anything to hold onto their privileged positions. Amazingly, this particular Bisto Kid doesn't seem to understand this and is quoting Weller to justify 'The Peeppil' in their insane sense of superiority!

They're also celebrating Celtic crashing out of Europe, which is understandable given they have nothing much to cheer about in their own back yard. The way they celebrate, however, is risible. 'We are The Peeppil' and 'Mon the Gers' make it sound as if their team actually knocked Celtic out and not Milan! I think their 'resounding victory' over the mighty Arbroath has gone to their heads!

And they're all beside themselves with glee over the James Forrest story. This story has grown and grown since it first surfaced. At first Forrest had forgotten to zip up his flies when he came out of the toilet. Then the story was that he had gone for a pee in an alley and was caught by the police. Now, all of a sudden, it's indecent exposure and sexual assault. It'll be interesting to see where this one goes! The main concern of the Bisto Kids is that the Daily Record didn't allow comments on the story so they were unable to post their usual bigotry and bile. It's a wee shame, so it is!

Finally, the most hilarious comments from the Bisto Kids are that their troubles are now behind them. The Requisitioners have failed, the Sons of Struth have fallen overboard and the Krays are getting themselves quite comfortably ensconced. The truth is, however, that the big troubles are yet to come. The money is running out and what money there is will soon be fought over when The Laxative unveils his usual scheme of demanding dividends for shareholders. Remember, The Laxative runs a hedge fund and all his investors will be looking for a return sooner rather than later. Trust me, The Laxative will soon get to work and the shit will hit the fan big time!

"Geeza job! Go on! Geezit! I can do that! Go on, Geeza job!"

 

TIES

A long time ago I worked in a museum in Edinburgh that was run by a charity. The character in charge did a runner to London when he was charged with sexually abusing a young guy. He was dragged back, stood trial and was found guilty. It was only then that it was discovered that he and his friend had ripped the place off to the tune of thousands of pounds. Both of them were ousted and that was the last I thought I would hear of them.

A few years later I could not believe my eyes when the two names were in the newspaper. They had both inveigled their way into another charity and had stolen a couple of hundred thousand between them. I found out then that one of them was an ex-lawyer, who had done time in prison for defrauding Strathclyde Regional Council. So how the hell did they manage to get taken on again and trusted with money?

The answer is simple. Both of them had been educated at fee-paying schools in Edinburgh. The old school tie counts for a lot in the capital! If you've been at the 'right' kind of school then nobody is going to pry too deeply into your past; you're obviously a fine, upstanding gentleman and completely trustworthy. Not only that, but if you go for a job, a bank loan or the like, you will find that you were at school with the son, daughter, niece or nephew of the man making the decision.

This is what happened in the case of one David Murray, who attended Edinburgh Academy and was one of the stars of the rugby team until his car accident. The Bank of Scotland fell over itself to extend him loans and credit; or rather, the people in charge of such loans and credit, who were based in Edinburgh, handed almost unlimited cash to one of their own. Murray was losing money hand-over-fist but that didn't stop his chums in Edinburgh giving him more and more.

In his desperate attempts to make Rangers a force in Europe, Murray ran up debts of over £100 million. This debt was absorbed into Murray International Holdings. The failed share issue was also absorbed into MIH, to the tune of about £50 million. Remember, these were still debts; MIH wasn't paying them off, it was absorbing them, taking it in among its other debts. Meanwhile the old school tie kept doing its job and Murray kept spending more and more on his vanity project.

Considering the way The Bank of Scotland operated, it wasn't long before trouble arose and the bank was taken over by Lloyds. Lloyds immediately set about trying to recoup the money that had been recklessly loaned out by the old-school-tie-wearers on The Mound. This meant that Murray was suddenly faced with having to pay money back, the same as everyone else.

Of course, Murray couldn't afford to do any such thing and the debt of MIH to Lloyds stood at around £1 billion! Remember, that included the Rangers' debts the company had absorbed. Lloyds had to take a quarter stake in MIH while Murray frantically tried to offload assets. He has managed to get the debt down a bit but the company is still running at a massive loss, which affects Lloyds as a major shareholder. It also affects the ordinary tax payer, since Lloyds is state-owned. So, really, the tax payer is absorbing the debts of Murray's company, including the debts of Rangers FC, the latter of which on their own run into nine figures!

All of which makes rather laughable the desperate attempts of the Bisto Kids to make out that Celtic have received special favours from Glasgow City Council and the Co-operative Bank. They're sending letters and e-mails to everybody from the EU to the Dalai Lama, hoping that somebody, somewhere will investigate and shut down Celtic and strip titles from them. Do they really want to go down this road, considering everything their old club got up to?

And yet another claim that Bisto FC are going to be taken 'back' to the top. This time it's an ex-director, Ian Hart, who says that the current board has "the quality and strength to take Rangers forward.” He also says that the Krays are great for Bisto and that "in all his dealings" with the Krays he has "found them to be pretty sound guys." Is he absolutely sure he wants to be discussing such 'dealings' in a newspaper?

Sooperally has reiterated his support for the current board, especially the new chairman, Mr Blobby, with whom he hasn't really spoken as yet. “He’s keen to let me know what his plans for the club are and he’s trying to get things done, which is great," says Sooper. As long as he's going to keep the current wage structure in place that's all that really matters to Sooperally and his agent, Mr Gregg. Never mind what Mr Blobby's plans are, wait until The Laxative unveils his grand scheme. I hope to Christ for Sooperally's sake that he's still got Sue Barker's phone number!

The Pied Piper of Govan

(With apologies to Robert Browning)

Debts!
They were owed to East and North and South,
The club was living hand to mouth.
From paper shop to workers' creche,
They all desired their pound of flesh.
It made the bluenoses quite sick,
And caused no end of consternation,
With worrying talk of liquidation,
And made the taigs cry out with glee
At every new catastrophe.
Things needed to be sorted quick.


At last The Peeppil in a body
To the Big Hoose came flocking:
``Tis clear,'' cried they, ``our Chairman's a noddy;
``And as for our boardroom -- shocking
``To think we buy suits and club ties
``For dolts that only tell us lies
``And a manager that guzzles pies!
``You hope, because you're old and obese,
``To find in the leather brown brogues ease?
``Rouse up, sirs! Give your brains a racking
``To find the remedy we're lacking,
``Or, sure as fate, we'll send you packing!''
At this the board - oh, what a sight!
Quaked with a mighty smell of shite.

``Come in!'' -- the board cried, looking bigger
And in did come the strangest figure!
His queer long coat from heel to head
Was half of blue and half of red,
And he himself was tall and thin,
With googly eyes, each like a pin,
And light loose hair, yet pale-white skin
No tuft on cheek nor beard on chin,
But lips where smile went out and in;
There was no guessing his kith and kin:
And nobody could enough admire
The tall man and his quaint attire.
Quoth one: ``It's as my great-grandsire,
``Starting up at the Trump of Doom's tone,
``Had walked this way from his painted tombstone!''

 The strange man played upon a flute
And the debts from the Big Hoose did shoot.
He took them away with ne'er a fuss
To the fabled land of Ticketus.
You should have heard The Peeppil cheer
A saviour had come to quell their fear.
The man had saved the team in blue
And promised front-loaded warchests too!
But a fickle bunch are the boys in blue
And soon the cheers they turned to boos.
The man sold the Arsenal shares and left
Leaving The Peeppil all bereft.
Another saviour came along,
Full of bluster, tea and song.
But to The Peeppil's great surprise,
This was the first man in disguise!

The flute's tune, it once more did call
But  this time The Peeppil were in its thrall.
And under the spell of the magic flute
The man he gathered in the loot.
Giros, cash, he took the lot;
He took The Peeppil for all they'd got.
To Division Three he made them dance
Then buggered off to the South of France.
But one poor lad was left behind
He couldn't keep up with the rest of his kind.
For he was lame and ended up on his own
To eat his succulent lamb alone.

The moral of this story true
Is plain for all the world to view
If you want to avoid the fate of those dancers
Then pay yer bloody debts, ya chancers!

PETTY PETITIONS

In amongst a load of waffle about matters in the boardroom not being any of his business, Sooperally has voiced his support of the current board. Unlike his usual noises of support, this one actually has some substance. Sooper actually owns nearly 3% of the shares, which might not seem a lot but every vote is going to count at the AGM. If he does vote the way he says he is then at least he can hold his head up as the only one that hasn't stabbed anyone in the back, unlike his mentor, Mr Dignity himself!

Apparently he's been getting dog's abuse on some of the Bisto forums for promising his support to the board. Not that this should worry Sooperally, or the board, unduly. The ones calling for change might make a lot of noise on the internet but it's not as if all the Bisto Kids have been at Ibrox screaming to get the board out. Despite what Auld Pishy says, it seems as if there's hardly anybody supporting the Requisitioners. Besides, even if there were thousands of them they've got no say in what goes on at the AGM.

The internecine quarrels among the Bisto Kids, meanwhile, are reaching ridiculous levels. Some bam has started up an online petition to get rid of the Rangers Supporters Trust. As one of his own pointed out, who the hell is he going to send the petition to? If he gets plenty of signatories is he just going to send it to the RST with a note saying, 'Get it right up yez'?

Speaking of petitions, remember the e-petition demanding that the Government debate leaks within HMRC about the Rangers' tax cases? They were all banging on about it, encouraging each other to get on the government website to sign it and even providing details of how to sign it for other people. 100,000 signatures are required before anyone will even look at it. The closing date was yesterday, so how many signatures did they get? Da da da da da da da! They gained the grand total of 42,290 names. So even with all that cheating and skullduggery they got nowhere near achieving their aim. A bit like their old club, really!

Meanwhile, Mystery History McMurdo is complaining about the corruption in Scottish football, evidenced by no action being taken against Peter Lawwell. They can greet all they want but fair's fair: no action was ever taken against David Murray for his disparaging remarks against Celtic so why should Lawwell suffer? 'A tilted table' says McMurdo. Aye right. They've been lying so much about how they've been hard-done by that they are actually now believing it!

Of course, all the comments are in complete agreement and they all long for the day when they are 'back' on top and running Scottish football 'again'. That's funny; for years any claims that they were running Scottish football was put down to paranoia. Now, at last, they are admitting what we all suspected for years; not only that, they're trying to make some kind of virtue out of it! They say that they hope UEFA are watching. I hope so too and then maybe there will be no more bending over bacwards to accomodate this mob.

They're also bleating about the BBC Panorama documentary that was on during the week about British army hit squads. Apparently they see this as some kind of 'anti-British' agenda. Arrogantly they see any attacks on Bisto FC as being 'anti-British' as well. To their eternal regret, we live in a democracy, which means that everyone is accountable to the law, even the armed forces and the old and new clubs at Ibrox.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; I'll be glad to see the back of Northern Ireland. Hopefully everyone votes in favour of Scottish independence and the whole sorry mess will have nothing whatsoever to do with us anymore!

 

"Naw, there wiz nae corruption when Ah wiz in charge. We aw knew where wur loyalties lay in they days!"

WELCOME

A warm welcome to those of you referred here by those on Bill McMurdo's website. Thank you very much for the hits. Oh, and to the person telling me that "Once a beadrattler always a beadrattler," I'm afraid my reply to you was moderated out of existence. I was merely pointing out that Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, Melanchthon and even John Knox were all 'beadrattlers' so I suppose the Reformation was just a sham!

I never thought I'd see the day when I get mentioned on other blogs. Maybe I'll be afforded the ultimate accolade and get slagged off on Auld Pishy's website!

I see that the SFA has thrown out the complaint about Peter Lawell's joke. Did anyone expect any different? After all, nobody ever censured David Murray for wanting to 'wipe Celtic FC' out of existence. To compare it to the way Green was punished is a bit disingenuous; after all, he was going round calling everybody bigots, including the SFA. I think Joan Burnie was right and that the whole thing was blown out of proportion.

Now that The Laxative has decided to support the current board at Bisto FC, will the Requisitioners bother having their 'supporters' conference' at the Hilton Grosvenor? After all, what is the point? Mind you, they might need to do something to stop The Laxative in his tracks. All those praising him to the hilt should really do a bit of research on hedge funds and the past record of The Laxative; it doesn't make for pretty reading.

There were a couple of Bisto Kids on Phil Mac Whatsit's blog going on about how the situation at Ibrox in 2012 was exactly the same as that at Celtic in 1994. The old 'Celtic and Athletic Club' shares are now worthless, they say. Of course, they fail to point out that all these shares were actually bought by McCann and that ordinary Celtic fans were, for the first time, able to buy a part of their club. This is a perfectly normal and legitimate way to take over a business; buying all the shares so that you own it. Fast forward to 2012. How many shares did Hughie Green buy? Not one. Instead, he bought the assets, illegally as it so happens, and the previous shareholders got not a bean.

And now there is a story going about that there has been a massive investment in Sevco 5088, the company that Barney Google was involved with and with whom Duff and Phelps had their sale agreement. The only possible reason for this investment is that a big legal case is being prepared. The Bisto Kids had better hope that signature is deemed to be a forgery!

Meanwhile Sooperally, as expected, has declared his support for the new CEO, even though he has hardly spoken to him so far. Now that Jonah McCoist has provided the kiss of death maybe things won't be as cut-and-dried at the AGM as everyone expects!

Lastly, Merlin mentions the situation in Northern Ireland in his blog, commenting on the proposals for an amnesty. Of course, all the usual suspects were pouring out their calls for vengeance. I, however, see Northern Ireland as one of the biggest reasons to vote in favour of Scottish independence. Can you imagine being well out of that sectarian cess-pit and being able to breathe easy, knowing that it has nothing at all to do with us? I bet there are millions of English folk that wish they could cut all ties to that backward-looking place! Well, we have the opportunity.

Of course, there are plenty of folk in Scotland that see themselves as being somehow involved in the tortuous arguments on both sides of the Northern Irish divide. Equally, there are many in Northern Ireland who just want a normal life and would welcome an escape from it all. If Scotland becomes independent, perhaps we could organise some kind of exchange. All the ordinary folk that want to live in peace could come and live here, while all those that want to fight ancient battles and settle imaginary scores can fuck off over there and do it!

Bisto FC's new sponsor

A DOSE OF SALTS

I remember a while back going on about The Laxative, Colin Kingsnorth, the chairman of Laxey, which had bought a chunk of shares in Bisto FC. Laxey has now been revealed as the ones who were buying all the shares the other day and now they are the biggest shareholders at Ibrox. This does not augur well. The Laxative, Colin Kingsnorth, has boardrooms the length and breadth of the country shitting themselves whenever his name appears at Companies House. He is out to make money and lets nothing and nobody stand in his way. Anyone connected with Bisto FC should be afraid; be very afraid!

The weird thing is that The Laxative is now the majority shareholder at Ibrox. This is not his usual modus operandi. Normally he only buys a few shares and spreads them around many companies. He then uses the '100 shareholder rule' to demand EGMs, since his companies count as 100 separate shareholders. At these EGMs he forces through the payment of dividends to shareholders. It is rare for a football club to pay dividends; minority shareholders are happy to own a bit of the club, while majority shareholders get some kind of position with a salary. If The Laxative gets his way then there will be no money, if there is any at all, to invest in the club or for Sooperally to buy new players. The latter, of course, will no doubt say that The Laxative has his full support!

There are more questions than answers about this new shareholder. Normally he is not in a company for the long term so why is he buying so many shares? If he is the majority shareholder, where does that leave the Kray Brothers? The Laxative is also due a chunk of Hughie Green's shares come December, so, again, where does that leave the Kray Brothers? This AGM in December is going to be more exciting than even the Bisto Kids anticipate!

Speaking of the AGM there's skullduggery afoot on both sides of the divide. Auld Pishy is banging on about some meeting that took place between Stockbridge and the 'neutrals.' By 'neutrals' I think he means Merlin's Mob. Pishy is desperate to know what went on at this meeting, who instigated it and what decisions were reached.

Pishy neglects to mention the meeting proposed by the Requisitioners. Of course, it's not advertised as such; it's being paraded as a Bisto 'Supporters Conference.' It's being held next Thursday at the Hilton Grosvenor Hotel, a venue that doesn't come cheap! The advert on a Bisto website invites those intending to go to e-mail for more information and to express their interest. I wonder if they need to pay to get in!

Meanwhile the Bisto Kids are making a sticky mess of their pants over five Celtic fans being found guilty in a court in Amsterdam. The Daily Record panders to this with their calling the ruckus 'The Battle of Dam Square.' They cannot, however, ignore the fact that all of these fans are appealing the verdicts and with good reason. The Bisto Kids can and do ignore the facts, daring to compare it with their rampage in Manchester, which a judge said was worse than the Blitz. They boast that there were only 49 arrests out of a supposed '200,000.' That figure, however, is to the eternal shame of the Scottish police, who could have been a lot more helpful in apprehending the hundreds involved in the violence and destruction.

I came across a site yesterday that is obsessive to the point of psychosis about trying to discover supposed financial irregularities at Celtic FC. It's called 'footballtaxhavens' and seems like a desperate attempt to deflect from all the problems at Bisto. Yet again, the old chestnut of London Road School is thrown up as some kind of 'evidence' of corruption. Unfortunately the whole thing is a load of bollocks. The writer of the website bangs on about this 'historical building' being demolished and how Glasgow's culture is being destroyed. I've mentioned before on here that I worked at this school and the building, unfortunately, is a dump!

But what of the price? According to this site it should be sold to the highest bidder; Asda or Tesco for example. That'll be like Rangers' assets, eh? The fact is, however, that no company is going to buy the building or the land when they will lose business every second Saturday and on occasional weeknights. Nobody is going to go shopping among thousands of football supporters, no matter which team they support!

So they're on a hiding to nothing with this stupid story. They desperately ask why the building couldn't be used since it has a well-lit, central atrium, 'like an art gallery or museum.' Yes, the atrium might be well-lit; it is also extremely small and is just a through-space to give access to the stairs. They're even demanding that the building be checked for bats! Dear, oh dear! Their desperation really knows no bounds!

Finally, a post that appeared on Merlin McMurdo's blog. No comment from me is necessary, other than to say that it sums up Bisto FC perfectly!

"Bears, again off the subject but has anyone else who has bought this seasons top had any problems with it ?? I am sending back my second Black 3rd kit top because the previous one and this replacement have both shed their Blackthorn sponsor transfer, are we using cheap crap foreign suppliers again ??? I would appreciate feedback that I can pass on to the club shop with my top."

"Aw naw, hen! Look what's happened tae yer da's Bisto tap! It's obvious it's cheap, shitey material but ye know what he's like. Ay's gonny blame me furrit an' ay'll knoack fuck oot the pair-y us!"

FAT FUN

Bisto FC has brought another trencherman into the Ibrox boardroom, one Graham Wallace, the new CEO. What is it with all these XXXXXXL size folk that are drawn there? I think they had to open the gates so wide to let Jabba out that it left enough space to let these huge carcasses burst in. That boardroom will contain more chins than a Chinese telephone book! At least the local Greggs shop will be happy.

Of course, the first thing this gargantua said was, "I am delighted to join Rangers Football Club as chief executive as the club continues its journey back to the pinnacle of the game in Scotland and beyond." Where have we heard that one before? Next stage is Sooperally offering him his full support. No prizes for guessing how this story is going to end! Wallace also says that he is going to bring 'stability' to Ibrox. Has anybody told him anything about what's going on? Doesn't he know about the Requisitioners and the 'Sons of Struth'? Chances are that, after the AGM, he won't be welcome anywhere near the place.

As usual, Merlin McMurdo announces that this is another 'strong appointment.' He says that Bisto is building a 'formidable' board. If he's talking about sheer physical bulk then he has a strong case! Somebody else says that it's a 'strong' and 'robust' board. I think the idea is that there'll be no room for the Requisitioners at the AGM with all these Bibendums (or is that Bibenda?).

Meanwhile Bisto has put in its official complaint to the SFA about Peter Lawwell's joke. Obviously the board has nothing else to be concerned about, eh? I wonder if they'll get satisfaction or if they'll just get laughed at. Maybe they'll call in a favour from Mr EBT, Campbell Ogilvie! And will they take it further? This is going to end in tears; tears of laughter for all of us!

The Bisto Kids are all up in arms about the suggestion that the SPFL might pursue their club for the £250,000 fine imposed by Lord Nimmo when, as they claim, he pronounced the old club 'innocent'. The possible demand that they pay the fine, they say, will prove once and for all that it's the same club. Not only that, but some of them are demanding that, if they pay the fine then they should be 're-instated' to the top tier. Oh, and they want the money they were 'swindled out of' for coming second in the league in 2011-12. Of course, this is all a load of pish!

Firstly, they are due nothing for Rangers' last season since Barney Google cheated. Mainly, however, the payment of the fine would come under the 'Five-Way Agreement,' under which Bisto was obliged to pay all football debts of the old club. This was the price they paid for jumping the queue into the league and no attempts at weaseling out of it can change that. So they'll have to pay up or give Spartans their rightful place in the league!

The two new board members introduce themselves to each other.

 

 

SIDES

I was watching a film the other night, as I do while I'm typing my pish on here, and a thought struck me. The film was called 'Push.' It wasn't what you'd call great but I always like Science-Fiction films, especially when you're rooting for some underdog against a corrupt system. That's when it hit me: who do the Bisto Kids root for when they're watching a film? When they're watching Total Recall (the one with Big Arnie, not that new shite) are they on the side of Arnie and the rebels or the side of 'law and order'? Whereas normal people cry at the end of Old Yeller, do they cry at the end of The Exorcist, because the Catholic Priest has outwitted the demon? If the family is watching Avatar, are they all cheering on the crazed colonel, who wants to kill and destroy everything in his path? It might seem strange, but the mindset they always exhibit would suggest that they would be comfortable rooting for the baddies in movies! I'm sure you can think of other examples.

Keith Jackson, with breathtaking hypocrisy, points the finger of blame at Peter Lawwell for his throwaway line at the AGM. He also decides to have a go, for the purposes of balance, of course, at Charles Green for rabble-rousing. It's funny how he does this at this safe temporal distance, instead of pointing it out at the time! When Green was riling up the hordes with his battle cries, Jackson, along with everybody else, called the 'bluff, plain-spoken Yorkshireman' a 'breath of fresh air'! Of course, anyone that pointed to this hypocrisy had their post removed, as did anyone that had the gall to point out that nobody would have known what Lawwell had said if the papers hadn't been so keen to print it! Obviously, Padawan Jackson has learned much at the feet of his master, Jabba.

Of course, the Bisto Kids are up in arms. 'Look what happind tae Shoo Dallis 'n 'at!' they rave, ignoring the fact that Dallas's crime was to use company e-mail to send offensive material; a pursuit that will get you shown the door in any organisation. They also conveniently forget David Murray's comments in the 1990s, which were made with impunity. When challenged on this, McMurdo admits that Murray's statements were 'crass and arrogant.' I wonder, though, if he thought that at the time; or is it a case of, like Jackson, a temporal distance making such observations easier?

Auld Pishy, as you might expect, was told an entirely different way of looking at things by the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle. Amazingly, he, or, rather, the tequila worm, claims that Lawwell was acting on behalf of the current Bisto Board! Apparently Lawwell is terrified of the Requisitioners taking over and ploughing money into Bisto FC (!) so he made his comment for two purposes. The first was to deflect from the story about Scott Gardiner. The second was to make the current board look good for making a statement decrying his remarks. And I'm not making this up; read Auld Pishy's blog for yourself and see!

Pishy also finds time to have a go at Graham Spiers, whom I thought he'd forgotten about. Spiers apparently said that Bisto FC is a new club, which prompts Pishy to accuse Spiers of being in the Flat Earth Society. Auld Pishy, of course, could never believe that the world is flat as he sees it constantly going round and round and round. I don't know about you but I'm going to miss the laughs that Auld Pishy supplies when his liver finally waves the white flag.

The Celtic AGM is still a hot topic on Merlin's blog, with contributors expressing the view that Celtic fans are 'obsessed' with Bisto FC. This coming from a crowd that are bombarding Glasgow City Council, the EU and even Historic Scotland with correspondence, desperately trying to uncover some imagined shady financial dealings at Celtic Park! They also leap on the 'living wage' proposal, which is rightly still being pursued. Realising that their own club also just pays minimum wage, one of the peeppill posting suggests that Bisto should seize the moral high ground by paying the living wage. Unfortunately, however, the majority of shareholders at Bisto FC probably could not care less about what employees are being paid; their main concern is what schools they went to!

Ever wonder how Bisto FC got the accounts signed off?

 



THE BIG JOKE NEW CLUB

In February 1933 the Reichstag, the German Parliament, caught fire and was almost burnt to the ground. Historians still argue about who was responsible but the fact remains that the Nazis did well out of it. Blaming the act on Communists, President Hindenburg was persuaded to declare a State of Emergency. This suspended civil rights and enabled the Nazis to dispose of opponents quite legally and withing the constitution. In fact, all the actions of the Nazis thenceforth could be argued to be legitimate under Article 48 of the Weimar Constitution. Anyone that thought otherwise would be quickly silenced.

We now apparently have our own version of this in Scotland. Our legal authorities looked the other way when the assets of Rangers were illegally sold to Charles Green. When the myth of the 'Holding Company' was started, nobody in either our legal or football authorities argued. The Big Lie was born. The new team was to be viewed as the old one and plans were made to shoehorn it straight into the SPL. It would be business as usual and the previous years' shenanigans would be airbrushed from history.

Only it didn't quite work out like that. The fans of other teams were outraged at this special treatment and demanded that their clubs deal with the new club appropriately. As it was, the new club was allowed to skip the queue into the SFL and joined the ranks of Division Three.

The Big Lie, however, had already taken root. This meant that, instead of the new club being allowed into the SFL, the story was that the old club had been 'relegated'. This was seized on in dramatic fashion. Folk like Jabba, saddened by the loss of the Establishment Team, grabbed onto this lie for grim death. Now it was not a case of Murray's hubris causing the death of Rangers; rather it was how badly 'Rangers' had been treated, having to endure the humiliation of 'relegation'.

We have already seen how the Bisto Kids react to any questioning of The Big Lie. Online attacks are made against anyone daring to say it's a new club, if you say any such thing on certain forums your comment is not allowed, and they all ran crying to the BBC Trust over statements by BBC Scotland journalists. Now they are all up in arms about a throwaway line by their favourite bête noire, Peter Lawwell, who made a joke comparing the new club to Rory Bremner impersonating Tony Blair! Bisto FC itself has reported the matter to the SFA and had this to say on its website:

“The Club are disappointed with the comments attributed to Celtic Chief Executive Peter Lawwell earlier today.

“Rangers Football Club, now in its 141st year, has a proud history which has been recognised by the football authorities and was noted in a recent SPL Commission determination.
“The Club will now take this matter up with the relevant football authorities.”

So nobody's allowed to question The Big Lie, even in jest! Strangely, the situation in 1994 is forgotten about. When it looked like Celtic would be going to the wall a wreath was sent to Celtic Park by Rangers, while the Daily Record hired a hearse to park outside the ground to provide a 'hilarious' photo. Sooperally has told how he was overjoyed and laughing when it looked as if Celtic would disappear. It seems that only those, and such as those, are allowed to have a sense of humour in this country.

One positive aspect is that Bisto FC might take their moans all the way to UEFA or even to FIFA. Both these bodies prefer not to interfere in the affairs of member nations' associations and will only do so if there is a serious complaint. They have therefore accepted the SFA's side of things as far as The Big Lie is concerned. If Bisto FC start stirring things up, however, they might find that the whole matter could backfire on them, with a full investigation of the machinations involved in getting the new club into the league. Bring it on, I say!

I discovered by accident a new money-making ploy by Bisto FC. They're offering supporters' clubs the chance to buy bricks on a wall at Murray Park! Each brick costs £150 and can be decorated with the supporters' club logo. And that's not all! Each supporters' club that buys a brick will also receive an A3 sized print of Sooperally, personally signed by the man himself! There are only 400 bricks available so they are expected to go fast. The print of Sooperally, which had to be A3 sized to fit him in, is intended to be framed and put on a clubhouse wall. It doesn't say if a structural analysis of the wall is advisable but I would take that as read!

Meanwhile, over on Planet Merlin, more and more of the Bisto Kids are coming to the conclusion that the problems at Ibrox are being caused by outsiders. The nonsensical suggestion that supporters of Scottish independence are stirring up trouble probably appeals to the flag-wavers among them. According to them, nobody would dare vote for independence if there was a strong 'Rainjurz'! They really do think a lot of themselves, don't they? One contributor offered the following (final) solution:

"Keep Scotland British; Export a timmigrant, for good."

Now if anyone was to say that about Pakistanis or Indians there would be an uproar. It seems, however, that anti-Irish racism is de rigeur and totally acceptable. After all, it's just banter isn't it? One side's as bad as the other etc. etc. etc........

Finally, I see that the ridiculous 'Friends of Scotland' has gone bust. This company received thousands from the Scottish Government in order to promote Scotland in the USA. Sean Connery started the thing to show his love for Scotland, even though he doesn't live here, likes to ignore Scottish fans when he meets them on the street and the sum total of his financial input into Scotland is supporting rich English students at St Andrew's University studying Art. The company is being wound up owing thousands of dollars. Given Connery's football allegiances, do you think some holding company will appear and the 'The Friends of Scotland' will continue as the same company?

Brian Stockbridge takes the new chairman out for a couple of drinks

MR. GRIMSDAAAAAAAAAAALE!

Yesterday came the announcement that Bisto FC has appointed a new member to their Board: step forward Norman Wisdom. Norman is a non-executive director, in charge of seeking new investment. That means it's his turn to go to South Africa with the begging bowl. Among all the businesses he has been involved with, he "is also the non-executive chairman of Weiss Korea Opportunity Fund Ltd, a new company quoted on AIM in May of this year." Wait a minute - Opportunity - Opportunity Knocks! I knew there would be a link to Hughie Green somewhere in there! The new addition to the Board was quoted as saying, "Don't laugh at me 'cos I'm a fool."

Scot Gardiner, meanwhile, is the first man in history to whom gangsters have made an offer he COULD refuse. No doubt he realised that the job might not last very long if the Requisitioners have their way on December 19th. As Jim McColl put it, 'There's only room fur wan gardener at Ibrox.'

And what of the police investigation? We've already heard Merlin's views; it's an SNP conspiracy! And the views of the Bisto Kids: it's the Requisitioners causing trouble, backed, of course, by Peter Lawwell. Auld Pishy, as per usual, lets the drink do the talking. On his blog he claims that Hughie Green is behind it all! Apparently, Green is looking to put off the 'big investors' behind the Requisitioners and to drive the share price down. He's backing somebody else to take over and wants them to buy the shares on the cheap. Has nobody told Pishy that panic selling only happens when confidence in the Stock Market runs out? You'd need to get something like the bursting of the South Sea Bubble or the 1929 Stock Market crash before anyone sells their shares in anything for pennies!

And why, in the name of the wee man, would Hughie Green be trying to worm his way back into Ibrox? He's already made a tidy sum and stands to make even more when the Krays buy his shares. Presumably they will be paying market value, which means that Green would want the share price driven up, not down. Of course, maths isn't Pishy's strong point; he can't even count how many bottles he's had!

Seemingly Sooperally has been interviewed by the police as part of 'Operation Signature.' Ally was quoted as saying that he had a cup of tea with the police and they had a constructive talk about the future. He ended by saying that the police had his full support and he hoped they would be working together for years to come. Almost immediately came an outcry about Police Scotland falsifying crime figures and being more concerned about power struggles than fighting crime. Sir Stephen House, 'The Big Hoose,' is up to his neck in these power struggles, apparently. It's beginning to look as if Sooperally, contrary to his reputation for being lucky, is nothing more than a Jonah!

Meanwhile, Merlin tells us that he's been trying to get his own man appointed CEO at Bisto FC. According to him, Rick Astley is just the man for the job. He can sing 'Never Gonna Give You Up' to the Bisto Kids, which will get them all buying season books, the same way Hughie Green's rabble-rousing did. There's also a plan to outdo Green's tea-and-biscuits publicity stunt. Come ST renewal time, the Board will be handing out beer and fags. They have assured the Bisto Kids that there will be no Heineken or anything else that comes in a green can. There will also be plenty of free Buckfast for the kiddies.

Finally, on a serious note, I read in the papers that Michael Souter, who has just been imprisoned for his paedophile crimes, may have more victims in Scotland. Souter used to work at Radio Clyde and one of his victims spoke up to say that he was certain that there were many more victims of this vile man.

Now, normally, the Bisto sites are full of indignation at this sort of thing. When the Jimmy Savile story broke they were screaming their heads off; only concerned about the poor victims, of course. They also constantly go on about the abuse that occurred at Celtic Boys Club; again, only concerned for the children that were abused. About Souter, who could turn out to be as bad as Savile, however, they are strangely quiet. Do you think that maybe the school he went to didn't have a 'St' in its name?

Bisto FC's new non-executive director takes part in the AGM.

 

 

THROWN A GOOGLY

All the Bisto Kids are up in arms with the return to the news of Barney Google (with the goo-goo-googely eyes). Coming hot on the heels of the story about Mr Blobby being linked to Barney Google is the news that the police are investigating a signature on a Sevco 5088 document, which a handwriting expert claims is a forgery.

True to their reputation for being thick, many of the Bisto Kids have been arguing on the Daily Record forum that the signature looks the same as Green's normal signature. Of course, they don't realise the implications of this. If the signature is genuinely that of Hughie Green, then Barney has a good case for taking Bisto FC to court.

When Hughie Green tried to buy Rangers with his laughable CVA proposal, Duff and Phelps signed an agreement that, if the CVA proposal failed, they would sell the assets to Sevco 5088. The legality of such an agreement is questionable but what happened afterwards is tantamount to fraud. The assets were actually sold to a company called Sevco Scotland, which Green claimed was different from Sevco 5088. On the sale documents Duff and Phelps claimed that their agreement was with 'Sevco' as if both Sevco 5088 and Sevco Scotland were one and the same company.

If, in fact, they were the same company then that means that Barney Google is still involved at Ibrox. If they were different companies, then the transaction was fraudulent. If the agreement with Sevco 5088 was not being honoured, for whatever reason, then the assets should have been sold to the highest bidder, either together or separately. It should have been up to the liquidators how the assets were disposed of and their sale was way outside the remit of Duff and Phelps.

The signature on the Sevco 5088 document, therefore, is of paramount importance. It means that either Barney Google is still a shareholder at Bisto FC or that the company in which he was a partner was defrauded. Of course, if the signature is a forgery then the whole thing is a load of Craig Whyte and Barney doesn't have a leg to stand on. So what do you think?

The signature at the top is Green's genuine signature. I don't know about you, but they look the same to me. The handwriting expert's concentration on a couple of tiny loops in the bottom signature is, to my mind, a red herring. Everybody's signature looks slightly different at different times and, as one of the brainless Bisto Kids pointed out, can even be affected by the type of pen you are using. This looks like desperation on the part of Bisto FC to try to get Barney Google out of the picture.

Of course, many of the Bisto Kids are shouting conspiracy. It's all the doing of Peter Lawwell, apparently. Everybody's out to get 'Rainjurz' by fair means or foul and this is just another in a long line of crimes committed against them. Everything that has happened at Ibrox has been orchestrated, due to envy of the 'most successful club in the world.' They really do honestly believe this!

Auld Merlin has his own take on this 'Big Conspiracy.' According to him, 'Rainjurz' has always been a bastion of Unionism in Scotland. The current crises have been orchestrated by supporters of Scottish independence, to try to offset the Ibrox hordes standing steadfastly against them. Of course, to him and his entourage, the whole purpose of Scottish independence is to set up a republic and then the leaders will go on all fours to the Vatican to hand the country over to the Pope! As conspiracy theories go, that one definitely takes the biscuit; an empire biscuit, of course!

Speaking of empires, the jingoistic Bisto Kids are still banging on about poppies. Their big argument is that 'those heroes died so that you can have the freedom not to wear a poppy' so you should wear one to show respect! This rhetorical tautology just shows the mentality of The Peeppil. In essence, you've to wear a poppy whether you want to or not because it represents the sacrifice of people that died to give you the freedom to decide whether or not to wear one! Try working that one out! Where's Bertrand Russell when you need him?

Meanwhile the news that the police are being investigated in Amsterdam for possibly instigating the fighting over there has not gone down too well with the Bisto Kids. The news was first broadcast on STV so that television channel has now been put on 'Ze List' as another enemy to be dealt with in the fullness of time. By God, that's becoming a big, big list and it looks like most of the population is going to have to watch what they're getting through the post!

Lastly, it seems that Ibrox is haunted. Paul Murray says that it's "a place where fear and confusion lurks in the dark shadows round every corner." Of course, if Barney Google is still around, he's the last person you'd want to meet round a dark corner. Either that or somebody's been unchaining Ian Black at night!

Craig Whyte spreads fear and confusion in the dark shadows.

THE GHOST OF ADMIN PAST

Remember I was saying a few days ago how excited Bill McMurdo was about how the police were investigating Craig Whyte? His gas has dramatically been put at a peep with the news yesterday of what this investigation actually entails. It seems that the police are actually investigating the possibility of Whyte still being involved at Ibrox. This involves a closer look at Green's illegal purchase of Rangers' assets. And not before time, say I!

Is there any substance to this investigation? After all, didn't Pinsent-Masons clear Green and report that Whyte was in no way involved? Nobody was allowed to see this report and everyone just took the word of Bisto FC that all was well. It turns out, however, that Pinsent-Masons have handed over their report to the police! Oo-er! It looks as if there might well be something to this investigation after all! Obviously there is something hiding in that report that Bisto FC doesn't want anyone seeing and it seems as if Whyte is still around.

Of course, what this means is that Bisto FC would lose their SFA licence. Effectively, they would be thrown out of Scottish football. All the cheating, conniving, lying and secrecy would have come to nothing. The bigots would need to find some other institution to latch onto; I'm sure they would be welcomed with open arms.

And the reaction of the Bisto Kids? It's Peter Lawell up to his usual 'tricks.' They think that the story is a lie to deflect from there being no minute's silence at the game against Ross County. So Lawwell has managed to get the police and Pinsent-Masons on his side? I think the real truth is that it's the other way round: the big deal made of Remembrance Day at Ibrox is to deflect from all Bisto FC's problems. It's about time somebody told them that maudlin displays of public grief have always been seen as the preserve of Johnny Foreigner. It's not British!

Anyway, there's probably nothing for them to worry about; the Big Lie will be maintained no matter what. If it is found that Whyte is still involved at Ibrox, no doubt we will be told that he is involved in the 'company' and not 'the club'. It still hasn't been explained, if it's the same club, why the SFA licence had to be 'transferred over.' The same smoke and mirrors will be employed again to make sure the bigots still have somewhere to go.

And what does Auld Pishy have to say about all this? Actually, nothing. He's still banging on about Jack Irvine like a man possessed. He recounts the story in the Daily Record about Mr Bobby's links to Green and Whyte as evidence of the duplicity of the Bisto board. Apparently, the Record is no longer the enemy; that spot has been taken by his erstwhile friends at the Scottish Sun. Still, given the current police investigations maybe the drunken lunatic has inadvertantly hit on the truth!

Finally, a little food for thought for the Bisto jingoists. The Bisto Kids are fond of using the word proportionately.  Proportionately, there are more sectarian attacks by Catholics on Protestants than the other way about. Proportionately, there were far more arrests of Celtic fans in Amsterdam than there were of Rangers fans in Manchester. So how about another proportionately for them to think on?

In the 1930s many jobs were closed to Catholics. The words 'RCs need not apply' were quite common in job adverts. The shipyards, mines, locomotive works and the railways, among others, were the preserve of Protestants only. Not that this was the fault of many of these Protestants but the fact remains that this was, indeed, the case. All of these jobs were deemed 'reserved occupations' in the Second World War, meaning that many Protestants stayed at home. This, of course, means that proportionately it was the hated Catholics of Irish descent that won the war for Britain! How do you like them apples?

'Rangers till it dies!'

SOMERTIME BLUES

Mr Blobby, the new chairman at Bisto FC, says that he's going to take Bisto "back to the very top of Scottish football where they belong”. That's original. Green said it, Mr Dignity said it, Mather said it and the Krays said it as well. The Requisitioners said it and even Auld Pishy said it, in among his racist polemic. The fact that Bisto FC has never been anywhere near the top of Scottish football seems to have escaped their notice. He also mentions “This 141-year-old institution". That's funny, I thought Davie Weir was long gone!

 The Daily Record, in its unswerving support for the Requisitioners, tries to prove some kind of connection between Mr Blobby, Charles Green and even Craig Whyte. It was all a bit desperate to say the least. Apparently Mr Blobby invested in some company that was run by somebody that invested in another company that owned another company that Craig Whyte was connected with. Or something like that, anyway. My dad has always banked with the TSB, now Lloyds-TSB and my wife used to work for them so, given the logic of the DR, I've got links with the dead club that was Rangers. To be honest, the guy looks and sounds enough of an arse without looking for spurious connections!

Sooperally has said that he is going to be meeting with Mr Blobby to discuss 'future plans.' That'll be the same 'future plans' he discussed with Craig Whyte, Charles Green, Craig Mather and Walter Smith. The last words Sooperally wants to hear are 'future plans,' since if anyone turns up with some proper future plans the certainty is that they won't involve the pie eater. The man that really sent Rangers into administration and whose only managerial tactic is to spend money, just like his mentor, can hardly figure in the plans of anyone with the slightest bit sense.

Meanwhile, the Bisto Kids are pontificating about the misbehaviour of Celtic fans in Amsterdam. With breathtaking hypocrisy they are demanding that Celtic is banned from Europe. The full story hasn't emerged yet but, as far as I can see, something stinks about the whole thing. The usual way of stopping trouble is to have a visible police presence; yet the Amsterdam police saw fit to send undercover officers to mingle with the Ajax hooligans that were attacking Celtic fans! There is a whiff of agents provocateurs about the whole thing.

But what would be the point of stirring up trouble? That's easy. Like everything else, it all comes down to money. After the disgraceful behaviour of Ajax fans, not only at Celtic Park, but on the streets of Glasgow, there is every chance that the club will be hammered by UEFA. Imagine if Ajax were to receive a ban; it would affect not only the club's but the city's economy. Tarring Celtic fans with the same brush might make UEFA go easier on Ajax and even accept any appeal claiming that Ajax fans were provoked in Glasgow. It's not beyond the realms of possibility.

Remember when the whole world witnessed the disgusting scenes in Manchester how the Daily Record reported on it? They toed the Ibrox party line of how Chelsea fans had infiltrated the Rangers support, then it was down to the actions of the police, then it was the fault of the big telly. Finally, when CCTV images were used by Manchester police to catch the culprits, the DR had to admit the truth. Even then they tried to underplay things, claiming, as usual, that it was a 'small minority.'

Contrast this with their headline about the trouble in Amsterdam. 'Battle of Amsterdam' they're calling it! It sounds like they've let Big Jabba back in by the rear door.

The new chairman awaits the arrival of Sooperally

THE DISGUSTING, DISGRACEFUL PISH-STAINED ALKY THAT IS DAVID LEGGAT

Loony Leggat, the Pish-Stained Alky, has really overreached himself this time. In his usual lashing out at the Ibrox Board, Jack Irvine and Merlin McMurdo, he decided yesterday to drag Ireland into his ravings. He regurgitates the usual Orange bigot pish about Ireland acting against Britain in the Second World War, a complete fantasy, which I wrote about here:

http://illuminatidiscoroadshow.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/will-real-nazis-please-stand-up.html

The filthy dipsomaniac couldn't even get his facts right. He talks about the 'Irish Free State' in 1940, ignoring the fact that a new constitution was brought in in 1937 and the new state was called 'Ireland' or 'Eire.' He goes on to call it the 'IRA Irish Free State.' also ignoring the fact that the IRA was outlawed and illegal in the new state of Ireland. And this guy was a journalist? He really is low-life scum.

Unfortunately, it seems that his bile is not against the law; as far as I can make out at any rate. In England it would be, but in Scotland it seems as if he can weasel out of it because, although he is inciting hatred, he is not inciting anyone to commit violence. If you think I'm wrong and if your interpretation of the law is different then, please, report the slimy, racist bastard to the police.

Of course, the reaction from the Bisto Kids was exactly what Pishy expected. They are up in arms at being compared with IRA 'murderers.' They are unconcerned with the dribbling, drooling moron's factual errors or attempts to stir up anti-Irish hatred. For them the only wrong thing he has done is to compare them to their hated bogeymen. In other words, they all agree with the disgusting, racist tripe that Pishy is spouting.

Meanwhile, Bisto FC has appointed an interim Chairman in the corpulent shape of somebody called David Somers. The guy looks as if he's had his fill of gravy and can't take another drop, so there'll be plenty for those that already have their snouts in the trough. Apparently this character used to work for the Commission for Racial Equality; maybe he can have a word with all those anti-Irish bigots associated with his new employers!

The Bisto Kids are getting all excited about the fact that they are undefeated in the League. Theirs is the only team in Britain with a 100% record, they are all boasting. They forget to mention that theirs is the only team in Britain full of highly-paid professionals playing against amateurs with full-time jobs. It's like me bragging because I beat a five-year-old at chess!

On a related matter, has anybody noticed that Bisto FC seem to be playing a lot of midweek games? Somebody on Merlin's website decided that this was down to the SPFL, ready to start greetin' about how unfair everything is. Another poster pointed out that it's all down to Sooperally. Now, why do you think he wants midfield matches? It's probably due to the fact that he knows that he's shite and that his team's shite. His only recourse then is for his team to keep punting the ball up the field and wait until their opponents get tired. This tactic, if you can call it that, seems to work and you will notice that Bisto FC usually don't get their first goal until after the hour mark. After all, their opponents are playing off the back of putting in a full shift at work! Hardly worth bragging about, is it?

Merlin has got his robes in a fankle, meanwhile, over the news he had to impart about Craig Whyte. Apparently, Craig Whyte is due to be arrested, charged with fraud over his buying of Rangers. Cue the usual Bisto outrage and blaming the SFA for the whole thing, hoping that our football authorities will be dragged into any legal investigations. How they think this is going to happen is beyond me.

So what, exactly, did Whyte do wrong? The Ticketus deal might have been immoral but it's not exactly black and white that it was against the law. After he took over, of course, there was all the business of not paying tax and the rest is history. But did he cheat Rangers? The simple answer is no; all the cash that he did swindle was ploughed back into the club. If anything, he did his best to keep Rangers going and postponed administration for a good few months, hoping that Sooperally could deliver the goods in Europe.

The Bisto Kids' assertions that Rangers were the victims of Craig Whyte is a load of crap. At the time of administration Whyte was Rangers, just as David Murray had been before he flogged it for a quid. And what was the SFA supposed to do? As stated at the time, and since, the SFA expects the club to carry out checks and it takes the word of the club on trust, unless evidence emerges that proves otherwise. This is still the case and nobody at the SFA has poked their nose into Bisto's affairs, taking their word for it that Whyte is no longer involved.

Their trying to drag the SFA into it has no basis whatsoever, as has their ridiculous notion that the person behind the Rangers Tax Case blog should be prosecuted. Considering that this blogger got the outcome dead wrong surely shows that there were no leaks from HMRC! The Bisto Kids are determined that everything has been a big conspiracy against them and think that this 'truth' is all going to come out. They really do have a serious problem with facing up to reality; witness their love of ridiculous pseudo-histories if you need proof of that! Read here: http://illuminatidiscoroadshow.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/pishtory.html

'Aye, that's right, aw they Irish ur scum 'n 'at. Ah mean, lookit me, a prime example-y the master race 'n 'at. Wae need tae get aw they Fenians 'n 'at oot oor country; thur bringin' the place doon. We arra peeppill 'n 'at....'