ALL HAIL PRESIDENT LAWWELL!

Gordon Waddell on Sunday was keen to point out to Celtic supporters that it's Peter Lawwell that runs the SFA. Apparently, there was something sinister about Lawwell writing to demand some kind of explanation for McLean's disgraceful decision-making. According to Waddell it was all just mischief making. He should have conducted things the Campbell Ogilvie way - sort it on the quiet doon the ludge over a G & T, or maybe even an EBT. At any rate, he shouldn't be airing the SFA's dirty linen in public. All that happened was that McLean made a mistake, supposedly. Maybe Waddell can explain, then, why all the officials lied about not seeing anything?

Anyway, the article might be addressed to Celtic supporters but it's for the consumption of a different audience entirely. That's made plain by the picture at the bottom of the article, where a hatchet-faced, old hunnette, who makes Shirley Carter out of Eastenders look like Marilyn Monroe, holds up a scarf saying, "Treble My Arse." Christ, my sides are splitting! This is Waddell's real target audience: The Peeppul.

Right at the beginning of the article, Waddell lays his cards on the table, saying that Lawwell is the wrong person to be on the SFA board since "he wouldn’t recognise the greater good if the Green Brigade wrote it on a 40-foot banner and hung it on his office wall." And what, exactly, is 'the greater good'? Well, we should all know since Waddell and his cronies have told us often enough; it's having Rangers (sic) in the SPL. Part-and-parcel of this 'greater good' is having the right men in charge at Ibrox; Real Raynjurz Men. In other words, Honest Dave should be rubber stamped as being fit and proper.

That's the real point of the article; riling up The Peeppul. The Record wants it kept uppermost in the hunnish minds that it's Peter Lawwell that's going to decide on King's suitability. The other members of the board are irrelevant; it's Lawwell that'll make the decision. Remember that - Lawwell, Lawwell, Lawwell. Keep repeating it and don't forget - he's the one to blame for all the woes of the Ibrox club. March on Hampden! March on Celtic Park! Get those pishy bedsheets out!

And now there's even more for The Peeppul to worry about. "THE SFA has today announced self-confessed Celtic fan Gary Hughes’ appointment to the board."  Now there's a strange one. Has a big deal ever been made in our media before about which team SFA officials support? I don't remember any article saying, "The referee for the Old Firm derby is self-confessed Rangers fan Mike McCurry." Just so The Peeppul get the message, the DR adds that "In an interview with the Herald in 2004 media mogul Hughes revealed one of his ambitions was, "for my boy Gavin to play for Celtic''. "

The Record is quick to point out that Gavin/Gary (they don't seem sure about the name) won't be appointed until after the decision about Honest Dave is made. So what the hell is the point of the article? Obviously it's to let The Peeppul know that the Fenians are taking over football in Scotland, and probably everything else. It's all a big Vatican-controlled conspiracy, you know! Meanwhile, not one word is ever said about Campbell Ogilvie, ex-director of the dead Ibrox club and a recipient of one of those 'loans'. Should he be allowed to decide on Honest Dave's fitness when it's highly debatable if he's fit and proper himself? Of course, we'll never read that in the Record; or anywhere else, for that matter.

This Thursday sees John Guidetti up before the Hampden beaks for singing "the huns are deid" on Swedish television. It's going to be interesting to see what it is they're going to charge him with. Sectarianism? That'll be hard to prove since every team's supporters in Scotland call them 'the huns' so how the hell can it possibly be sectarian? Bringing the game into disrepute? Again, they'll have a tough job making that one stick. If you're not allowed to say things about other clubs, then what about this little line that blares out over the PA system at Ibrox once a fortnight, "Celtic know all about their troubles"? What 'troubles' would those be, I wonder. If they charge Guidetti for bringing the game into disrepute then surely they have to be seen to be fair? Oops! I forgot; this is the SFA we're talking about. Then again, apparently Peter Lawwell runs everything these days!

The partiality of our media is shown up meticulously by this post by someone commenting on the Guidetti story in the Scotsman:

"The 'word' only became a 'sectarian slur' when Rangers were heading for the plug-hole, they were quite happy to be the 'word' when they were rooster(because the correct word is proscrbed)-o-the-walk. The 'word' is unacceptable by the Hootsmon, even though they use it in the copy, neither is the name of the club that was formed by Charles Green after he bought the ashes of Rangers.
Interestingly though, all the words they use on here that are used as deliberately offensive, like 'Tims', 'Timmys', 'Timmies', 'Bead Rattlers', 'Knee Benders', 'Opus Dei', 'Peedos', 'Paedos' 'BJK', 'Big Jock Knew', 'Saviles', 'Kiddie fiddlers', 'Scum', 'Skum', 'Fenians', 'Papes', 'Bigot Sisters', 'Bhigots', to mention just a few, are all acceptable copy for the Hootsmon."

Finally, I came across an article with Lulu greeting about her violent childhood with drunken parents. Apparently she pushed all this to the back of her mind and can only talk about it now she has a new album to plug. She was ashamed of her childhood and hid it away from everyone. Mind you, she obviously wasn't ashamed or tried to hide every aspect of her upbringing. I'm old enough to remember her being on This Is Your Life in the 1970s. At the end, when Eamonn Andrews brought on a group of her old friends in their 'band', she was up doing the rickets walk and punching the sky with the rest of her family!

"How dare they call UKIP a racist party! It's all this political correctness that's to blame. All these polacks, darkies, rag-heads, chinks, bog-trotters, jock-straps etc. are far too sensitive. I mean, it's not as if we're calling them 'huns' or anything, is it?"