JABBA THE AGNIVORE

JACK'S BACK!

Hope everybody had a great Christmas. So did everybody enjoy Green's Speech, as he called it? I think the guy lives in another dimension from the rest of us. He talks about Rangers going into administration and then he bought it! No mention of liquidation or dodgy deals with Duff and Phelps. But do any of our sports 'journalists' challenge him on this? Not a chance!

Speaking of the Fourth Estate, Keith Jackson decided to come back out from hiding to tell us all that the supposed Armageddon in Scottish football hasn't happened. It's a good job he's there to let us know as we were all wondering what was happening, eh?

Apparently it was the SFA that told us that Scottish football was finished if Rangers Newco were not allowed into the SPL. Er...I don't think it was them that said it, Keef, it was your old boss that came up with that one! It was the meeja, especially Traynor, that warned us all of the impending doom and Jabba could not hide his disappointment when it didn't happen!

Jackson praises Celtic and Neil Lennon but can't hide his true feelings. According to him, Rangers are 'licking their wounds' and are looking to finance their 'quest for vengeance.' Vengeance against whom? Yes, he's following in Jabba's footsteps right enough!

So everything in the garden's rosy then? Well, no. Hearts could go under. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't Hearts been on the brink of going under for years? Suddenly, however, it's because Rangers aren't in the SPL. Aberdeen are in debt and St Johnstone are struggling. All of this has been going on for years; it didn't suddenly happen because Rangers went bust!

Why our game is really in trouble is actually down to Rangers. They set the benchmark for spending, which other clubs had to try to live up to. Celtic signed Chris Sutton for £6m so Rangers had to sign Tore Andre Flo for double that. At one point Rangers fielded a sizeable chunk of the England team and other internationalists were snapped up at the going rate. Other teams had to do something to try to be competitive or their fans would see it as not worthwhile turning up. This spending is what has almost bankrupted Scottish football. Rangers, meanwhile, under the aegis of Charles Green, swindled all their creditors and then boast about being debt-free!

As a parting shot, Jackson tells us that the Mayans apparently did not predict Armageddon, but a 'transition period.' The implication is obviously that the Mayans were predicting league reconstruction! So to avoid Armageddon in Scottish football, which, despite all his protestations to the contrary Jackson revels in telling us is going to happen, we need to change the league set-up. I wonder why. Maybe a more honest name for league reconstruction would be 'league reformation,' if you know what I mean!

And verily the great god Jabba sayeth, 'Wur doooooomed!'