ERRARE HUMANUM EST, PERSEVERARE AUTEM DIABOLICUM.

My old Latin teacher will be turning in his grave. Even if you didn't do Latin you'll remember Mr Lavelle if you were at the Maggies prior to 1978. He'd patrol the corridor between periods, his black teacher's gown wrapped round him, and whack you on the arse with a stick if you weren't walking properly. Once you'd got past him you entered the Home Economics department, where Mrs Murphy was waiting to hit you on the head with a wooden spoon. Going along the parallel corridor was just as dangerous, with the formidable Mrs O'Dea prowling outside her door. Aye, they knew how to keep order in those days.

Anyway, one of Mr Lavelle's bugbears was people mispronouncing words and using the wrong word entirely. He was always telling me how much he'd cringe when he heard folk on the TV talking about harAssment, when the word is actually hArassment, with the emphasis on the first syllable. He also hated when anybody used the word 'flaunt' when they really meant 'flout'. He was continually pointing this out to other teachers. He had a good turn of phrase, though, and could be quite witty so I don't think anybody took any offence.

He'd have gone nuts if he'd seen yesterday's Daily Record, which he would have done since, despite his intelligence, classical education and posh-sounding voice, he wasn't in the least snobbish. He was a keen boxing fan and liked the coverage in the Record. But yesterday, there it was in the headline: "Rangers (sic) on collision course with SPFL in play-off row as they prepare to flaunt rules and allow season ticket holders in for free". I mean, for God's sake; don't they have editors on that paper anymore? Even Jabba wouldn't have made a basic error like that! To make matters worse, there was another article about some female 'flaunting her legs'. Didn't anybody notice that the word couldn't have two different meanings?

On to the story itself and the Record is beating the drum as usual for Bisto FC. Also as usual, nobody asks any awkward questions. For example, why did Bisto not vote for the proposals of Hibs, Motherwell and Hearts at the SPFL meeting on 23rd April? And what about the fact that the SPFL have already ruled that season-ticket holders can get in for nothing? "The SPFL says that, as result of opposition from clubs, it will withdraw its proposal to prohibit admission via season tickets and impose minimum prices." (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32319194). In reality, this story is about nothing.

The SPFL has already said that season-ticket holders don't need to pay and that clubs can charge what they want; so what's the big deal? And, as Shaun pointed out to me, Bisto weren't the ones leading this supposed 'rebellion'. Hibs have been in the van throughout, with Hearts and Motherwell joining in. In fact, these three teams made it plain months ago that, should the occasion arise, they wouldn't be charging ST holders. The SPFL have already agreed to this so all our media is doing is trying to make Bisto FC out to be the heroes, when they've actually done nothing at all. It makes the DR's claim that Bisto FC are "set to be joined in their revolt, with Hibs and Motherwell also planning to follow suit" look utterly ridiculous.

So why is the new Bisto board making so much noise about all this? To find the answer you only need to look at McMurdo's blog and that of his Glee Club, Rangers (sic) Supporters Loyal. They've been moaning ever since the Real Raynjurz Men took over. While Listy Graham was co-opted onto the board (however briefly) and Halloween Houston, Fungus the Bogeyman and Auld Pishy were invited into the Directors' Box, McMurdo and his disciples have been screeching about how all the ones that bought season books, and kept the club going, have been ignored. All this pish about 'defying the SPFL' and letting ST holders in for free is obviously a sop to this bunch of Ashley supporters.

It doesn't seem to be working, though. This comment pretty much sums up Merlin's Mob's reaction: "I think you will realise brothers this being a sign of desperation for funds and purchase of forthcoming sale of season tickets…….not REALLY recognition of loyalty. Cunning boardroom members showing first glimmer of transparency to get onside but once again in my opinion the usual sleakit way."

They're far more concerned about Bisto FC not being allowed onto the ISDX market and they're blazing that Phil Mac Giolla Bhain seems to have his finger on the pulse. This angry comment sums it up: "Phil Mac Ghoilla Bhain (sic) writes about Rangers (sic), a lot . None of it portays Rangers (sic) in a good light , and none of the movers & shakers in Rangers (sic) recent history are given any credit." That's funny; I've yet to see Phil say a bad word against Sandy Easdale. Maybe they should start actually reading Phil's blog.

Meanwhile, John Guidetti has been 'censured', whatever that means, by the SFA for the heinous crime of saying 'hun'. Really, there was no way they could hand out any punishment whatsoever without looking stupid and weak, since they've refused to do anything about The Peeppul for decades. Ex-compliance officer,  Vincent Lunny had an interesting point to make: "It is, I think, significant there's no mention of it being sectarian or otherwise based on religion." This common-sense approach, however, was spoiled by his other comment, which will annoy huns and non-huns equally.  "It would appear their focus is on the comment attacking Rangers (sic) or making fun of Rangers for having gone into liquidation back in 2012." So it looks like denying the Big Lie is now an offence according to the SFA. But why should The Peeppul be annoyed at this statement? Well, he mentioned the dreaded 'L' word. A good job he's not working for the SFA anymore or he'd be next up before the beak.

Finally, on a more serious note, there's a story in our media about a ten-year-old girl, who was raped and made pregnant by her stepfather, being 'denied' an abortion in her native Paraguay, even though doctors agree that giving birth would be dangerous at that age. The implication is clear: Paraguay is a mainly Catholic country, so this story is to give our friendly neighbourhood bigots something to cluck and point fingers about. Reading elsewhere, however, it's plain that the girl is going to need serious counselling first; she hadn't even known she was pregnant! They can't just knock the girl out and go ahead; they'll need to explain everything and make sure there aren't going to be any psychological effects resulting from the procedure. Not that you'd know that from our bigoted media.

In fact, abortion is legal in Paraguay; especially in cases where it is needed, like this one. Nobody has come out and said that the girl is to be 'denied' an abortion; our media is just making it up. Perhaps they should be more concerned about the Pro-Lifers among the DUP, who want abortion outlawed no matter what the circumstances. That this bunch might possibly be power-brokers at Westminster after the election is a frightening prospect.

P.S. I mentioned this on Twitter yesterday and I'll be mentioning it again. Bella Caledonia has made no effort whatsoever to get in contact with me after promising to return my stolen books.

"Er...jist wait a fuckin' minute here. Ur yous tryin' tae tell me it's awright tae call theym 'huns' noo? An' how's that supposed tae make me feel, eh? Ah'm no' wanny they types that go rampagin' roon' Europe, smashin' things up an' batterin' folk. Ah'm no' hivvin' it, Ah tell ye! Comparin' me tae a fuckin' Rangers ur Sevco supporter...Ah'm no' hivvin' it!"

ALL HAIL PRESIDENT LAWWELL!

Gordon Waddell on Sunday was keen to point out to Celtic supporters that it's Peter Lawwell that runs the SFA. Apparently, there was something sinister about Lawwell writing to demand some kind of explanation for McLean's disgraceful decision-making. According to Waddell it was all just mischief making. He should have conducted things the Campbell Ogilvie way - sort it on the quiet doon the ludge over a G & T, or maybe even an EBT. At any rate, he shouldn't be airing the SFA's dirty linen in public. All that happened was that McLean made a mistake, supposedly. Maybe Waddell can explain, then, why all the officials lied about not seeing anything?

Anyway, the article might be addressed to Celtic supporters but it's for the consumption of a different audience entirely. That's made plain by the picture at the bottom of the article, where a hatchet-faced, old hunnette, who makes Shirley Carter out of Eastenders look like Marilyn Monroe, holds up a scarf saying, "Treble My Arse." Christ, my sides are splitting! This is Waddell's real target audience: The Peeppul.

Right at the beginning of the article, Waddell lays his cards on the table, saying that Lawwell is the wrong person to be on the SFA board since "he wouldn’t recognise the greater good if the Green Brigade wrote it on a 40-foot banner and hung it on his office wall." And what, exactly, is 'the greater good'? Well, we should all know since Waddell and his cronies have told us often enough; it's having Rangers (sic) in the SPL. Part-and-parcel of this 'greater good' is having the right men in charge at Ibrox; Real Raynjurz Men. In other words, Honest Dave should be rubber stamped as being fit and proper.

That's the real point of the article; riling up The Peeppul. The Record wants it kept uppermost in the hunnish minds that it's Peter Lawwell that's going to decide on King's suitability. The other members of the board are irrelevant; it's Lawwell that'll make the decision. Remember that - Lawwell, Lawwell, Lawwell. Keep repeating it and don't forget - he's the one to blame for all the woes of the Ibrox club. March on Hampden! March on Celtic Park! Get those pishy bedsheets out!

And now there's even more for The Peeppul to worry about. "THE SFA has today announced self-confessed Celtic fan Gary Hughes’ appointment to the board."  Now there's a strange one. Has a big deal ever been made in our media before about which team SFA officials support? I don't remember any article saying, "The referee for the Old Firm derby is self-confessed Rangers fan Mike McCurry." Just so The Peeppul get the message, the DR adds that "In an interview with the Herald in 2004 media mogul Hughes revealed one of his ambitions was, "for my boy Gavin to play for Celtic''. "

The Record is quick to point out that Gavin/Gary (they don't seem sure about the name) won't be appointed until after the decision about Honest Dave is made. So what the hell is the point of the article? Obviously it's to let The Peeppul know that the Fenians are taking over football in Scotland, and probably everything else. It's all a big Vatican-controlled conspiracy, you know! Meanwhile, not one word is ever said about Campbell Ogilvie, ex-director of the dead Ibrox club and a recipient of one of those 'loans'. Should he be allowed to decide on Honest Dave's fitness when it's highly debatable if he's fit and proper himself? Of course, we'll never read that in the Record; or anywhere else, for that matter.

This Thursday sees John Guidetti up before the Hampden beaks for singing "the huns are deid" on Swedish television. It's going to be interesting to see what it is they're going to charge him with. Sectarianism? That'll be hard to prove since every team's supporters in Scotland call them 'the huns' so how the hell can it possibly be sectarian? Bringing the game into disrepute? Again, they'll have a tough job making that one stick. If you're not allowed to say things about other clubs, then what about this little line that blares out over the PA system at Ibrox once a fortnight, "Celtic know all about their troubles"? What 'troubles' would those be, I wonder. If they charge Guidetti for bringing the game into disrepute then surely they have to be seen to be fair? Oops! I forgot; this is the SFA we're talking about. Then again, apparently Peter Lawwell runs everything these days!

The partiality of our media is shown up meticulously by this post by someone commenting on the Guidetti story in the Scotsman:

"The 'word' only became a 'sectarian slur' when Rangers were heading for the plug-hole, they were quite happy to be the 'word' when they were rooster(because the correct word is proscrbed)-o-the-walk. The 'word' is unacceptable by the Hootsmon, even though they use it in the copy, neither is the name of the club that was formed by Charles Green after he bought the ashes of Rangers.
Interestingly though, all the words they use on here that are used as deliberately offensive, like 'Tims', 'Timmys', 'Timmies', 'Bead Rattlers', 'Knee Benders', 'Opus Dei', 'Peedos', 'Paedos' 'BJK', 'Big Jock Knew', 'Saviles', 'Kiddie fiddlers', 'Scum', 'Skum', 'Fenians', 'Papes', 'Bigot Sisters', 'Bhigots', to mention just a few, are all acceptable copy for the Hootsmon."

Finally, I came across an article with Lulu greeting about her violent childhood with drunken parents. Apparently she pushed all this to the back of her mind and can only talk about it now she has a new album to plug. She was ashamed of her childhood and hid it away from everyone. Mind you, she obviously wasn't ashamed or tried to hide every aspect of her upbringing. I'm old enough to remember her being on This Is Your Life in the 1970s. At the end, when Eamonn Andrews brought on a group of her old friends in their 'band', she was up doing the rickets walk and punching the sky with the rest of her family!

"How dare they call UKIP a racist party! It's all this political correctness that's to blame. All these polacks, darkies, rag-heads, chinks, bog-trotters, jock-straps etc. are far too sensitive. I mean, it's not as if we're calling them 'huns' or anything, is it?"

O TEMPORA! O MORES!

'Wrang Door' McCall has decided to display the trademark Ibrox brass neck by poking his nose into the handball scandal. He was asked if his club would write to the SFA to demand answers and replied, “My honest answer is no." The real honest answer is that his club wouldn't need to; it would be all sorted out 'doon the ludge'. Not that anything of that sort would ever befall the new Ibrox club anyway; which is why McCall can keep a straight face while saying, "There is not one official I’ve known in my life who would purposely make a mistake." Right, so the referee at Ibrox today just didn't have a watch, eh?

It seems to be practically every time Bisto FC are getting beaten that extra time is added on; and not just one or two minutes either. Yesterday's official added time was 5 minutes but most observers are saying that it was more than twice that. At full time Falkirk had won 2-1 but the man from Specsavers decided to keep the game going until Bisto FC had equalised. He was probably hoping they might get a third before he had to call a halt. There was probably a limit to how much time he could give them but the 11 minutes that were added on would make even Alex Ferguson blush. Falkirk were cheated, pure and simple.

And now it's been made plain that Falkirk can't even lodge (no pun intended) a complaint. Celtic merely asked for clarification and look how our authorities and media have responded. Effectively, nobody is allowed to raise any voice of complaint against the blatant cheating in the Scottish game. On the contrary, when the cheating doesn't go far enough to help the Ibrox team, as in 2008, our media will keep going on and on about it as if Rangers were the ones that were cheated! Corruption doesn't even begin to describe it.

Still on the subject of corruption and cheating, it seems we've all to accept that Meekings's handball was not deliberate, even though it's as plain as can be that it was. We even had Barry Ferguson, of all people, joining in, saying, "There is no way Meekings intended to stop that ball going into the back of the net." That is a complete lie and Ferguson and all the rest of them know it. Ferguson also has the customary dig at Celtic. "If it was another club they might have gone about it another way." That's right, Barry. If it had been your old club (unlikely as that seems) they'd have been straight onto a lawyer and into the courts, while our media would be demanding a replay. Don't give us your pish!

Ferguson saves the best for near the end of his wee tirade. "I’ve been involved in football for a long time and I’ve suffered bad decisions." Yes, we know that son. There was the time you deliberately handled the ball to set yourself up to score against Hearts. There was another time where you pushed a referee onto his arse and didn't even get spoken to. And then there was the time against Celtic where you stopped the ball with your hands in the area but no penalty was given since you were apparently 'protecting your face'. I wonder if anybody else would have got away with that one! Yes, you've had some bad decisions, but not many of them went against you!

Everybody seems to be caught up in the 'unfairness' of banning somebody retrospectively for a clear infringement, with intent, when there's video evidence that shows exactly what happened. If that's unfair, then how fair is it to ban somebody when there's no evidence whatsoever? Aleksandar Tonev was banned for a massive SEVEN games purely on the word of another player. The officials saw and heard nothing and there was no corroborating evidence at all. And yet the ban was upheld on appeal. A Show Racism the Red Card spokesperson said at the time that "this sends out a clear message to players and fans." It most certainly did. Accuse a Celtic player and everyone will believe you with no proof or witnesses to back you up. The Meekings affair has also sent out a 'clear massage': you can get away with cheating as long as it's against Celtic!

The furore in the press about this business has opened up some old wounds, with Jimmy Calderwood demanding an apology from Chris Sutton for what he said about Dunfermline in 2003. I was pleased to see that Sutton pretty much told him to piss off. He had nothing to apologise for. Remember when the new season started in August 2003? Celtic's first game was against Dunfermline at East End Park. Unlike in their last game of the previous season, the Pars played out of their socks to hold Celtic to a 0-0 draw. Everybody praised Calderwood's team for their tenacity. There wasn't much tenacity on display a few weeks later when Dunfermline went to Ibrox, where Calderwood's team was slaughtered 4-0. I remember thinking at the time that Calderwood owed Sutton an apology! He still does.

In politics there's a development happening in Scotland that should concern everybody. There are two organisations called 'Forward Together' and 'Scotland In Union' that are directing folk to vote tactically to keep out the SNP. The 'Forward Together' mob, which has nothing to do with the Church of Scotland group of the same name, is trying to get Labour supporters to vote Tory in one Perthshire constituency and vice-versa in another. 'Scotland In Union', meanwhile, looks to be the more insidious crew, run as it is by an ex-army captain. I always check at the bottom right-hand corner to see who 'likes' and 'follows' the blog. That gives you an idea of who's involved. It looks like 'Scotland In Union' is an unholy alliance of Tories, UKIPers and The Peeppul. God help us all!

And God help us too if one of the projected possible outcomes of the General Election actually comes to fruition. While folk in Ingurland are getting all hot and bothered at the prospect of the SNP holding the balance of power, Nigel Farage is promising to support a minority Tory government, along with the DUP. The dinosaur jockeys are already viewing this as probable and are actually canvassing on the basis of being involved in government in Westminster. They've already got a stable of tyrannosauri lined up so they can ride into Parliament in triumph.

Can you imagine those lunatics holding the whip hand at Westminster? God only knows what kinds of concessions they'd wring out of a Tory government depending on them. With their UKIP fellow-travellers also forcing the hand of the Tories we could easily end up with a racist, right-wing UK. The DUP also has a rather unhealthy obsession with one particular football team. Instead of just being at the mercy of the Scottish football authorities, we might find Celtic having the whole might of Westminster ranged against it! As I said, God help us!

Special edition SFA watch for use in Bisto FC matches.

MEEKING AN ARSE OF THINGS

So what the hell was all that about? First they ban Josh Meekings to cover their own arses and now they've reversed that decision, leaving their plooky bahookies dangerously exposed to the elements. Lie is being piled upon lie here and it could and should end up being another 'Dougie Dougie' scandal. We've not heard the last of this; and quite right too. The real scandal in all this is not the way Meekings has been treated, but the way Celtic are being pilloried and demonised. The same antipathy doesn't seem to apply when it's anyone else complaining, though. Have a look at this and see the hypocrisy: http://www.celticquicknews.co.uk/?p=17243&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter (Thanks, Hector!)

The judgment now, it seems, is that the handball was not deliberate, even though everybody could, and can, see that it most definitely was. It was pretty obvious that the SFA would back down after FIFA decided to get involved; I wonder, though, what's going to happen now. Probably nothing, unless Celtic keep pushing the matter. Hopefully they do.

While The Peeppul and their friends in the media lambast Celtic, they're missing the point of the whole thing. A few of The Peeppul are saying that Alan Muir, the official on the goal line, was shouting, "It hit his head! It hit his head!" into his mike. Fair enough; maybe he did. Why, then, after the match was over, did he, along with the rest of them, claim that he'd seen nothing? That's what everybody's pissed off about; the lies.

I had to laugh at that character, Ninjaman, with his 'Let's All Laugh @ Celtic' shite. He goes on about the paranoia of Celtic and then starts whining about how Celtic are running everything...thur aw bad tae Raynjurz...etc. etc. etc. Then comes the real cracker, "When are Celtic fans going to realise that Rangers (sic) have no influence whatsoever in Scottish Football? Rangers (sic) can’t be held accountable for a single thing that happens in Scottish Football outwith what happens at Rangers (sic) because there’s not a single board or committee at the SFA or SPFL with a Rangers (sic) representative." He's obviously forgotten about a certain Mr. Campell Ogilve EBT.

He and the rest of McMurdo's mob then start going on about 'class' and 'dignity' and how 'Raynjurz' would never behave the way Celtic have. Again, a wee bit of economy with the truth there. Remember when the Oldco didn't agree with the transfer embargo when they went into administration? No letters then or even seeking recourse through the CAS; that wasn't good enough for them. It was straight to court, against all the rules of football. And what punishment did they receive for flouting the rules of the SFA, UEFA and FIFA? Not a thing. And, yet, they still claim that everybody was bad to them!

Meanwhile Craig Swan in the Record has been telling FIFA to keep its nose out of SFA business. In the usual agnivore 'Whatabootery' he has a go at FIFA for its corruption while not even acknowledging that there's anything wrong in Scotland. "Goal-line technology has been a big step forward, but we need more," he says. Er...maybe he hasn't noticed, but we don't even have that in Scotland! Instead we have half-a-dozen officials groping about with white sticks and guide dogs. So, really, what's the point in having a go at FIFA for better technology etc. when Scotland's not going to see any of it this side of Doomsday?

Swan is right about one thing, though; football is corrupt from the bottom up. Maybe 'corrupt' is too strong a word but money has become the be-all and end-all. The Champions League, for example, is a misnomer since most of the teams taking part are not, in fact, champions. But the big names bring in bigger audiences and hence bigger advertising contracts. So the big names in Europe seem to be always there, making sure that the richest countries, with the biggest audiences are pulled in year after year. If that means that some dodgy decisions are needed to ensure that the Big Boys progress, then so be it. Technology will just get in the way.

Some, more localised, corruption has nothing whatsoever to do with money. In Franco's Spain, for example, all the stops were pulled out to ensure victory for the Establishment team, Real Madrid, while in the Soviet Union, the Russian national team and Moscow Dynamo were one and the same; the league meant virtually nothing. Goal-line technology would have been very unwelcome in such environments; which makes you wonder why Scotland has refused to introduce it.

Technology is already available to ensure that contentious decisions could be a thing of the past, but nobody will use it. Rugby already uses video replay to check incidents and it hardly takes any time. When it comes to football all we hear is that using video replay will lead to matches being stopped every few minutes. This is utter pish. An official could pick up something almost immediately and let the referee know by using the mike he's already equipped with. The knowledge that such technology is being used would lead to less on-field arguments and referees being influenced by the crowd or by players; everybody would know that proper judgments were being made. Rather than slow the game down, it would actually speed things up.

The SFA doesn't need to wait for permission from FIFA to introduce video technology, so why isn't Craig Swan lambasting our football authorities instead of trying to pass the buck? And why isn't the SFA keen to use already-available, cheap methods to improve our game? The only answer possible is that they don't want to improve it. I wonder why!

Halloween Houston and his angry mob have turned their attention to the new Bisto FC kit, urging The Peeppul not to buy it unless the Real Raynjurz Men can get a better deal from Ashley. According to our esteemed media, Paul Murray and Co. are currently in 'negotiations' with Sports Direct, with the merchandise deal as part of the agenda. It has to be said, though, that they're hardly in a position of strength to be negotiating anything.

The new board has already defaulted on Ashley's loan terms by suspending Llambias and Leach so Mike isn't going to be giving way anytime soon. According to Phil Mac Giolla Bhain, things aren't going too well for the Real Raynjurz Men in these 'negotiations'. The way the situation is, 'negotiating' is probably the wrong word; 'begging' is probably more accurate.

The best the Real Raynjurz Men can hope for is another loan from Ashley, which would lead to even more onerous contracts. Meanwhile Honest Dave is still nowhere to be seen. It'll end in tears.

These Real Raynjurz Men have been asking a helluva lot of The Peeppul. They were told not to buy season tickets, to boycott games and now they've not to buy the new kit over the summer for the weans to wear when they go back to school. And they're not even guaranteed a place in the Premiership yet, which is reason enough to leave off buying a season book until June. If they're stuck in the Championship another year, they might not bother buying one at all. Could things get any worse? Well, Bomber Brown is making noises about Sooperally coming back to Ibrox. I'd imagine that for many of them enough is enough and they might just give up altogether. No season ticket, no replica kit; what's the point?

THE SFA INTRODUCES NEW TECHNOLOGY TO AID REFEREES

"Any cunt waant tae challenge ma decision? Naw?

Ah didnae think so!"

MOVING ON

Time to move on. That's what we're all being told in the papers, especially by our good friends in the Daily Record. Never mind what is an obvious injustice; we should just forget about it and put it behind us. Strangely, it was only a few days ago that the Record gave a platform to Barry Ferguson to whine about how Rangers were cheated out of the UEFA Cup and the league because nobody would give them special treatment. In fact, they did get special treatment, but, apparently, not enough! I didn't notice anyone telling him to 'move on'!

Speaking of 2008, I'm reminded again of 'Refsgate', which I've written about on here before and in 'Clash of the Agnivores'. A couple of 'honest mistakes' went Celtic's way and suddenly it was a big conspiracy. Still smarting over Celtic winning the league in May, when, according to our Fourth Estate, the 2007-2008 season should have been extended into August, the agnivores were determined to fight Rangers' corner and do anything to stop Celtic winning again. After decades of calling Celtic supporters paranoid they were suddenly filled with the same paranoia themselves.

It's difficult, however, to explain away last Sunday's decision as an 'honest mistake'. Some folk are suggesting now that it was 'ball to hand' but anyone that's seen the incident knows that's rubbish. Josh Meekings's hand was actually thrown out to stop the ball going into the net. His own reaction showed that he knew it as well. It can be argued that Meekings acted instinctively in throwing his hand out but, then, so is punching somebody that has just elbowed you in the side of the head. Both instinctive actions merit a red card. The officials were in perfect positions to see what happened, so they can't pretend otherwise. It was cheating, pure and simple.

Yesterday FIFA vice president, Jim Boyce, spoke exclusively to Keith Jackson about the retrospective ban on Meekings. I find it difficult to believe that Boyce contacted the Daily Record, so, obviously, Jackson was out to cause mischief. 'Look, Mr Boyce, look at the bother those taigs are causing, Mr Boyce, it's not fair, Mr Boyce, you need to do something, Mr Boyce.' Unfortunately, Boyce didn't just condemn the decision to suspend Meekings; he had more to say than that. Ominously, Boyce demanded that the SFA reversed its decision 'before the matter is taken out of their hands.'  He also warned against defending the decision by claiming that none of the officials had seen the incident. Obviously Boyce believes that they did!

One of Boyce's other comments is interesting. He says,  "I’d like to think the people in charge of that game were honest people who made an honest mistake." That sounds as if he's not too sure about it. Vincent Lunny believes that Meekings doesn't have a hope in hell of having his ban overturned so will Boyce make good on his threat to take things out off the SFA's hands? To justify such a move an investigation would probably need to be carried out. What would this kind of enquiry uncover? I think Lunny is wrong; the SFA will overturn Meekings's ban. The last thing they want is anybody exposing their dealings to the cold light of day.

Rather ridiculously, McMurdo claims on his blog that Meekings's ban shows that the SFA is now under the control of Celtic! This is a recurring theme on his blog and seems an attractive belief for The Peeppul to hold onto, making all their troubles somebody else's fault. You have to ask, though, what possible benefit to Celtic is the suspension of Meekings from the final? Why would Celtic want such a thing? Presumably, The Peeppul think that Celtic is just as petty and vindictive as they are!

Many of The Peeppul are on standby with the excuse that Lawwell is running the show if Honest Dave is to be deemed not fit and proper. They constantly greet that nobody 'protected' them from Whyte or Green, but it is easy to imagine what would have happened if the SFA had banned either of these individuals. Peter Lawwell would have been blamed for trying to 'kill Rangers'. And now we've come full-circle and another player has entered the game. A convicted criminal wants to be chairman of Bisto FC and many of The Peeppul are clamouring for it to happen. But the evil Lawwell is lurking in the background, ready to stop the mighty hero riding in from the Veldt to save Scottish football.

Bomber Brown is calling for the SFA to pass Honest Dave, because Bisto FC needs his money! I think if I was one of The Peeppul (God forbid!) I'd be concerned about the fact that King hasn't put a penny into the club yet. Does he actually have the money he claims to have? And if he does eventually invest, I think I'd want to know where the cash came from. He is allegedly linked to all manner of undesirable characters in South Africa. But that doesn't matter; all that matters is, as Bomber puts it, "Rangers are a massive club, the biggest in Scotland. They need Premiership football. They have been out of the top division for too long." Well, that settles it...where's that rubber stamp?

Back to McMurdo and he's extolling the virtues of UKIP over the 'globalist' and 'socialist' SNP. During the referendum he was warning of the dangers of narrow nationalism and speaking of world stages and the like. Now it seems he wants nationalism in the shape of UKIP and an end to having to deal with Johnny Foreigner. Oh, and the SNP is anti-monarchist, apparently; and that's meant to be a bad thing? He's also decided to rewrite history, as well as predicting the future.

"The Act of Union was designed to be an end to petty tribalism and vacuous nationalism that divided us and made us weak," claims McMurdo. Was it hell! It was simply a way for the English elite to get something it had always wanted: control over Scotland. And nobody in Scotland went into the Union as some great, moral act of principle; if they had then they wouldn't have had to be bribed, would they? As usual, McMurdo lives in his own, wee world. As for the future, he's going on again about Scotland's 'destiny' as part of the Union. If there is such a thing as 'destiny' then it means it's going to happen no matter what; so what the hell is he greeting about? They really are strange people, The Peeppul!

"Don't worry, Sooper, wull get ye back in somehow. Wae aw know how much ye did fur the cause. If yer team hidnae been so shite then thurd've been mair season tickets selt an' the Real Raynjurz Men widnae've stood a chance. Wae aw know you dun yer bit!"

THERE'S NONE SO BLIND...

I've never been what you would call sporty. I used to enjoy playing badminton, even though I was never very good at it. Football was the main sport at my school but nobody ever took the time to teach us how to play it. The P.E. teacher would just throw a ball onto the pitch and bugger off to his wee room for a smoke while the neds kicked the rest of us up and down the field. Needless to say, I wasn't very fond of football.

It wasn't until later in life, when I got dragged into training kids at school, that I actually got interested in the game. I learned all the ins-and-outs and how to control the ball, tackle, pass; all the things I should have learned at school. It was too late for me - the very idea of running the length of a football pitch has me reaching for the fags in terror - but I enjoyed getting all the children interested in the game and learning how to play. It used to annoy the hell out of me when the SFA regional guy would come for a visit. It was just like the old days. He would point out somebody that he said was a 'good wee player' and sign him up for training with the county team. Nine times out of ten he wasn't a 'good player' at all; he was a wee ned that everybody was scared to tackle, which made him look good! What the SFA should have been, and should be, doing is providing resources for all the kids to learn and train and we'd end up with a lot more good players for real.

Stay with me; I'll get to the point eventually. SFA involvement in primary schools is an absolute joke; unlike the SRU, who sent coaches into all the schools and provided equipment for the children to play non-contact rugby. All the children were involved and they really enjoyed it; until, that is, my class took part in a competition for P6s. It was a knockout competition and my class's team made it to the final, where they were up against a school from a posh area. A guy I didn't recognise refereed the final; he wasn't one of the SRU coaches that I'd seen taking charge of the other matches. I learned from some of the coaches that this guy had taken charge of all that school's matches. I soon discovered why.

As soon as the match started, my pupils were kicked and pushed all over the place. The idea of non-contact rugby is exactly that; no contact. Every player has two tags hanging down, velcroed to a belt. If one of these tags is pulled off the player has five seconds to pass the ball or he has to relinquish it. The posh school's tactic was to trip up or push a player to the ground, pull the tag off and then grab the ball. The referee stood by and let this happen, while I fumed on the touchline. I was quite proud of the fact that my pupils didn't react; I was scared that one or two of the harder cases might punch somebody, even the referee! Needless to say, the posh school won.

As my lot went to collect their runners-up medals, I complained loudly to the SRU official about how my class had been cheated. He explained, equally loudly, that he had been powerless to intervene since the offending referee was some high-heid-yin in the local education department (who was usually involved in organising football tournaments) and he had insisted on taking charge of those matches. The high-heid-yin eyed us both evilly. And I've got the cheek to wonder why I was bullied out of my job!

Part of my complaint to the SRU guy was that as soon as the injustice of the situation was evident the morale of my pupils went down. It affected their game visibly and there was a sort of 'why bother?' attitude seeping through them. Even if the other team hadn't cheated through the rest of the match, the damage done to the morale of my lot would have affected the result.

You'll have guessed what I'm on about now. Yes, the Celtic players are grown-up professionals and not children but such injustices can still impact on their morale. The same thing has probably happened to most of us in our daily lives. Even something trivial where you end up being blamed though it wasn't your fault can spoil your whole day, affecting your concentration and stopping you from doing your job properly.

It's even worse if you see somebody else being treated differently. You'll feel angry, hard-done-by and miserable. And that's what happened to Celtic on Sunday. A blatant hand-ball was ignored by the officials, even though they were in a perfect position to see it. Then, later in the match, the officials suddenly developed twenty-twenty vision when it was a Celtic player involved in breaking the rules. It was an absolutely shameful, blatant display of cheating by the SFA officials; there's no other explanation for it. I'm glad Celtic have complained officially and it'll be interesting to see what feeble excuses the SFA come up with. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if it ends in Celtic being hauled up for 'bringing the game into disrepute'!

While The Peeppul and their friends in the media gloat and spout their default mantra of 'always cheated, never defeated', it's worth noting that nobody seems to be censuring Wrang-Door McCall about his ridiculous complaints. Apparently, it's 'no fair' that there are some Bisto FC players that might miss the play-offs if they get one more yellow card. You've got to laugh at McCall when he says, "I'm not saying this just for Rangers, it’s for everyone. It won’t happen this season but maybe in the future.” Aye, right! The answer, of course, is simple; just make sure the players don't do anything wrong! And if you can't trust them, then don't play them.

Then again, this is an Ibrox team we're talking about. A team that our authorities insist is 'stull Raynjurz'. That being the case, I think we all know what McCall's wee greetin' match is really all about. It's a call to the officials to let them know that none of his players should be booked from now until everything's done and dusted.  Darren McGregor and Kenny Miller are most in danger and I bet nothing short of murder will merit either of them so much as a talking-to between now and the end of the season!

You can read my take on the recruitment of Scotland's referees here. I think you'll find that there's more than an element of truth in it!

The Scottish Referees' Association marches to Hampden to protest at being labelled partisan.

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS

It's amazing how you can perceive somebody in a certain way and then they do something that changes your attitude toward them completely. Such a person is Kim Kardashian. Famous throughout the world for...well, being famous and renowned for a well-endowed arse, she has decided to use that fame to highlight the genocide perpetrated against her Armenian ancestors by the Ottoman Empire in 1915. She hasn't been preachy or anything, like Bono or Bob Geldof; she simply laid flowers at a memorial.

The Turkish government has expressed outrage, as they have always denied that the deaths of over a million Armenians was in any way a genocide. Right-wing historians have continually backed up claims of 'resettlement' and a virtual war between Turks and Armenians; even though the only evidence for such claims comes solely from Turkish sources. While other nations accept that the killing of all those Armenians was, in fact, a genocide, the USA and the UK have both refused to recognise this.

Much of this support for the Turkish view is political expediency; Turkey is an important part of UK/US policy in the Middle East and they don't want to upset their ally. There is also the matter of both countries being loath to highlight the idea of genocide too much; it might lead to awkward questions about their own histories.

The treatment of Native Americans could equally be termed a genocide; as could the way the Maoris and Aborigines were treated in the Southern Hemisphere. There were also the scorched-earth means of fighting wars that America used in the Philippines and Britain used in South Africa. In South Africa too was the first mass use of concentration camps as the British authorities rounded up the Boers' women and children and burned their homes and farms to starve out the guerrillas. Just in case the Boers raided native farms and villages, black people were rounded up as well and their homes, fields and livestock were burned. Wells were poisoned and soil was ploughed with salt to render it useless.

And then there was Ireland. In Elizabethan times 'scorch earth' was used extensively to starve out the native population. For centuries afterwards Irish land was appropriated, leaving the Irish people having to lease, at extortionate rents, small pieces of land where they might grow crops that actually belonged to their landlord. The only crop they could afford, or have space, to grow for themselves was the potato. Various government commissions and independent investigations throughout the first half of the Nineteenth Century warned that mass famine might occur at any time. Nothing was done at all; nobody in power particularly cared.

The potato blight of the 1840s affected crops throughout Europe but only in Ireland did it lead to such mass starvation. In that sense, it's difficult to place the blame for the Great Famine solely on the failure of the crop. It was the social, economic and religious discrimination against the Irish that caused death on such a huge scale. It could feasibly be argued that this constituted genocide; but you won't find anyone admitting to that! Instead we're supposed to continue to believe that the British Empire was a great and glorious thing and a force for good in the world.

As well as the covering-up and distortion of history to maintain the illusion that there is nothing wrong with our society, there is also a desperation to cover up, and deflect from, the existence of a vast paedophile conspiracy among this country's elite. The media, of course, is complicit in this. Yesterday, in the Daily Record, was the story about the death of one Donald MacNeil. This man is alleged to have sexually abused children over a period of 40 years. Last year, the cases against him were dropped since he was too sick with cancer to stand trial. The article claims that he 'walked free from court' but, later in the piece, it is revealed that he actually collapsed in court and was taken to hospital, where it was discovered that his bowel cancer had spread to his lungs.

Normally, such a story would be linked to another, similar story that had occurred recently, in order to emphasise the point that the paper is trying to make. It is only a matter of days ago that we had the story of the case against Labour peer, Lord Janner, being dropped because he has been diagnosed with dementia. There is an obvious link between these two stories but, surprisingly, the Record refused to highlight it. Instead, they concentrated on two things. The first was the outrage and devastation felt by the victims of MacNeil's crimes; an aspect that was ignored in the story about Janner. The second thing was a blatant attempt at deflection.

The Record tells us, right from the headline, that MacNeil's son was a 'sex-shame priest'. The implication is that his son is just as bad as he was. In fact, MacNeil junior had consensual sex with two women; he might have flouted his sacerdotal vows but he certainly broke no laws and was scarcely to be compared with his father in the sphere of 'shame'. The intended conclusion, however, will no doubt be drawn by many: the sexual abuse of children is a 'Catholic thing'.

Today the Sunday Mail has a report on the fight against the international trafficking of people, especially children. This has been going on for years but, rather conveniently, the Sunday Mail chooses this week to highlight it. Yes, Lydia Cacho, who has been leading the fight for years, has a new book out on the subject and was in the UK last week to promote her cause but, it has to be said, that this is a highly opportune moment to bring this evil to our attention. In the article the UK merits hardly a mention. Instead, we can all sleep soundly in our beds, secure in the knowledge that it's only Johnny Foreigner that gets up to these disgusting activities. It's all about the "Japanese Yakuza, Chinese Triads, the Italian, Russian and Albanian mafias and Latin American drug cartels." There are quite a few Catholics involved in that little lot, eh?

So there it is. We don't need to worry about our esteemed leaders; it's all the fault of those bloody foreigners. Get rid of them all and destroy the Catholic Church and that'll be the end of child abuse. Is there a veiled call for a bit of genocide there...?

MAD AS HELL!

Have you ever watched the film 'Network'? It's great when Peter Finch's character gets his viewers to open their windows and shout out to the world in general, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" That's what I was reminded of when I saw the mass outcry against the clear advantage given to Bisto FC by our esteemed SPFL authorities. Even without Turnbull Hutton, it seems the voices of football clubs and their supporters can make a difference when it comes to standing up against unfairness. It should have been done years ago! Still, better late than never.

There's still the matter of the play-offs to be sorted out; something else that the powers-that-be have royally screwed up. This time, though, there's no bias involved; just sheer stupidity. It seems never to have occurred to anybody that one of the contenders for the play-offs might be involved in the Scottish Cup final. The only solution appears to be to extend the play-offs into June. This will adversely affect Bisto FC and, of course, they're squealing like a goat at a masonic convention.

The old complaints are trotted out, "It would be absurd to extend the season if Hibs are not in the play-off final. In 2008, after the UEFA Cup Final, Rangers were forced to play four games in eight days all in the name of sporting integrity. Sporting integrity should be applied here." Aw, diddums! Celtic never had that problem in 2003. Why? Because they negotiated with other teams and brought games forward instead of letting them pile up. It probably never even occurred to anybody at Rangers to do this; the usual sense of entitlement meant that they expected the season to be extended to the end of July if they needed it. Next we'll be hearing all the shite about the 'tour of Japan'.

Nobody helped Celtic in 2003, least of all Rangers, who, along with the authorities, refused point-blank to shift an old-firm fixture, either forward or back. The same happened a couple of years later when Gordon Strachan asked for a game to be moved, leading to Jabba's infamous 'Who the hell do you think you are?' jibe. Why, then, should Rangers have expected any help from Parkhead way? Lawwell's 'Japan Tour' excuse was what is called 'diplomacy'. If it had been me, I'd have told them to 'fuck right off!'

Whenever The Peeppul go on about 2008 it always seems to escape their memory that the Scottish Cup final was put back for their benefit. You never hear them mention that one! Perhaps such a solution could be used again. This time, however, both finalists should be consulted!

And, right on cue, we've got Barry Ferguson in today's Record, moaning about how "Rangers might OF given Scotland a European trophy." Christ almighty, are there no editors at that paper? In the article, Ferguson gets his dig in about 'sporting integrity', even though nobody mentioned such a thing in 2008. He recycles all the pish about nobody 'helping' Rangers. Er...the SPL season was extended by four days and the Scottish Cup final was put back. What more did they want? If they were going to postpone matches then they only had themselves to blame when they had a fixture backlog at the end of the season. Presumably everyone else was to finish the season while Rangers' games were to wait until Barry & Co. were 'ready'!
(Update: somebody must have contacted the DR. That OF has been changed to HAVE.)

Incidentally, when did Rangers ever help any other team, or Scotland for that matter? On numerous occasions Rangers players couldn't play for the national team because of injury or illness. The undertakers and florists were on standby as it was touch and go whether or not they would make it. Then, miraculously, they would leap from their death beds to play for Rangers in midweek! And, yet, they expected everybody to bend over backwards to help them.

Rangers already had a long history of looking after themselves. During WWII every team in Britain lost players to the armed forces. Football was still played to keep morale up on the Home Front and new, smaller, temporary leagues were set up in Scotland. Every club struggled to put a team on the pitch but one club was able to field TWO full teams and win two separate leagues. No prizes for guessing which club this was, so I'll give you a clue: it starts with 'R', ends with 'S' and is filled with anger.

Speaking of 'Sporting Integrity', Ferguson might do well to remember that QOS were cheated in the Scottish Cup final, being denied two stonewall penalties as well as being kicked all round Hampden. And another thing, when is Barry going to pay back that 'loan' and help the creditors get paid? Aye, you picked the wrong horse when you climbed on that moral high one, boy!

I'm currently writing a follow-up to 'Clash of the Agnivores' and I've reached the point where Stan Collymore calls out the bigots. I avoided mentioning sectarian and bigoted singing in the first book, but it's hard to avoid this time. As part of my research I had a look at the 'Nil By Mouth' website. I couldn't believe what I was reading! I was particularly taken aback at the following:

"Widespread discrimination in entering employment, and certain established social networks, also fuelled tensions between the Catholic and Protestant communities in Scotland. Employment opportunities  were denied to people of both denominations on the grounds of the religious group to which they blonged (sic) or were perceived and prejudged to belong. Discriminatory recruitment practices were conducted both officially and unofficially and a name considered traditionally Protestant or Catholic, or whether a candidate attended a Catholic or non-denominational school, was sufficient grounds for many businesses to exclude people from employment."

I have sent an e-mail to 'Nil By Mouth' pointing out that, especially when discussing history, you can't make definitive statements like that without proof. There is plenty of proof of discrimination against Catholics, who were denied employment in the shipyards, the locomotive industry and anything to do with the railways (other than laying the tracks, of course!). Even in the 1970s it was a difficult task to get a job with British Rail in Scotland if you weren't able to perform the correct handshake! I know of no instances, however, where discrimination was practised in the opposite direction. I have asked 'Nil By Mouth' for their evidence. I'll let you know what their reply is.

Stewart Regan, meanwhile, has been banging on about how difficult it's going to be for Honest Dave to prove himself 'fit and proper'. Aye, right! Pull the other one - it's got bells on it! He really must think everybody's head zips up the back. We all know full well that it'll be a rubber-stamp job. Nothing must stand in the way of the progress of the Real Raynjurz Men! The fact that Paul Murray and his Brylcreem-Bounce hairstyle has been allowed to sit, unmolested, at the top of the marble staircase proves that the authorities will do what they always do when it comes to Ibrox teams: bugger all!

We also know what's going to happen if Bisto FC don't manage to win promotion in the play-offs. Suddenly those in power will decide that the fans' idea of three divisions, each with 14 teams, is the best plan after all. Of course, it'll be for the good of Scottish football as a whole, the way forward etc. etc. etc. 

Finally, I see some folk in Dublin have set up something called the 'Twin Strangers' project, looking for people that look identical, even though they're not related. I've found a few already.

 

 

 

KISSING THE BADGE (GOODBYE)!

There's some interesting stuff over on McMurdo's website...sorry...the 'Rangers Supporters Loyal' website. A character called Ninjaman is waxing lyrical about 'the good old days', when men were men and goats knew which side their bread was buttered.  Ah...the Murray years...

"That day at Pittodrie when we clinched our first title for nine years will live with me forever. Anyone who was there will say the same. We had done it, and we’d deserved it. We were the best team in the country...I still look back in awe at the type and standard of player we had. Just frightening to think of."

What's even more frightening is that folk like this can't understand that they 'deserved' nothing of the sort. All that triumph, all that glory, was paid for by you and me. Schemes were put in place so that they didn't pay their fair share of tax and banks handed money willy-nilly to David Murray; our money, from our savings etc. I knew somebody that worked for Murray at the time and every day was spent on computers, moving money from this account to that account, inflating the apparent value of all holdings while they were worth virtually nothing. That kind of shell game can't last forever and the whole thing eventually came crashing down. The Peeppul, however, see nothing wrong in it and would be quite happy to go back to those days; after all, it was Whyte (spit!) that caused administration, wasn't it? (Just don't mention the 'L' word.)

It seems the scenario that McMurdo's Mob is looking for is for the Real Raynjurz Men to somehow get together with Mike Ashley:

"...this will deliver once again a strong, thriving, financially secure and successful Rangers as a business and outstanding football teams who will thrash all comers at Ibrox".

Aye, right! They still don't get it. Rangers never was 'strong, thriving, financially secure' and its success 'as a business' was all smoke and mirrors. Those days are over. We're all more vigilant these days and nobody is going to stand by and let The Peeppul's new team ride roughshod over the rules like their old one did. Besides, the banks are all regulated nowadays and it'll take more than an Edinburgh Academy tie to get handed millions in loans. In point of fact, no bank will touch the new club with a bargepole, meaning that they are totally reliant on the largesse of 'sugar daddies'. Unfortunately for them, rich men are not renowned for their philanthropy. Ashley has already shown that he's quite willing to lend money; but at a price.

While everybody's greetin' (or laughing!) about the crests and Broxi Bear, King and his cronies are trying to calm everything down by the simple expedient of claiming that, once Ashley is paid back then the problems are over. Exactly when they're going to pay him, however, has not been stated. Things might not be quite that simple, though.

Here's the bit of the loan contract that deals with Murray Park etc:

The Club will transfer 26 per cent of the share capital in Rangers Retail Limited to SD for the duration of the Facility, which will be transferred back, at no cost, upon repayment of all outstanding sums owed by Rangers and its subsidiaries to SD. There is no specified repayment period for the first tranche of the Facility.
"The Facility is to be secured by (1) a floating charge over the Club's assets and (2) fixed charges over Murray Park, Edmiston House, Albion Car Park, and the Club's registered trademarks.

Things are pretty straightforward there. Once the loan is repaid, the assets will be transferred back, 'AT NO COST'.

On the other hand, there is a slight difference in the section of the contract that deals with the IP rights:

On irrevocable payment or discharge in full of the Security Liabilities, the Lender will promptly at the request and cost of the Assignor re-assign the Assigned Rights to the Assignor (or as the Assignor shall direct.

See it? 'AT THE REQUEST AND COST OF THE ASSIGNOR'. Everybody seems to have overlooked that bit. The operative word is obviously 'COST'.

So, as soon as Ashley gets his £5m, Murray Park, the Albion Car Park and Edmiston House will immediately be handed back. As for the badges etc. Bisto FC is going to have to 'request' their return and stump up an unspecified sum. It looks like Ashley's got the Real Raynjurz Men tied in knots. They really shouldn't have pissed him off. And what's Sandy Easdale up to? He might be a big fish in a small pond but a pike in a canal can still take your fucking fingers off if you stick your hand too near it!

King, his cronies and The Peeppul should be scared shitless at the silence of Mike and Sandy. I might be mixing my metaphors a bit here after mentioning big fish, but when you're going into battle against a wasp, you need to know where it is. Whether you're going to chase it out the window or beat the bastard to death with a rolled-up newspaper, there's nothing worse than the brute hiding somewhere, quietly waiting its chance to get you when you're least expecting it. The Real Raynjurz Men are going to get stung; badly.

Meanwhile, one, or maybe more, of The Peeppul decided to decorate a Sikh temple with a swastika. How do I know The Peeppul were involved? Two reasons. Who else in this country of ours is so full of racial and religious hatred? And who else in this country of ours would be so fucking thick as to write Islamophobic bile on a Sikh temple?

I see The Proclaimers have penned a new song about Jimmy Savile, the paedophiles at the BBC and the paedophile ring at Westminster. It's commendable that they're highlighting this national disgrace but, unfortunately, you just know that it's going to be co-opted into The Peeppul's songbook; minus the bits about Westminster, of course. A song of protest and a cry for justice will be turned into a vile, point-scoring exercise by a bunch of racist, sectarian scum. With any luck, though, Ashley and Easdale will have killed off their new club before they discover the song.

And what is it with the Daily Record? 'Anyone but the Tories' they proclaim, but then they spend all their time attacking the SNP! The latest stuff about a £7.6bn 'black hole' comes from the supposedly-independent Institute for Fiscal Studies. Readers of 'Fear and Smear' will know that this organisation relies on funding from Westminster, so it's hardly 'independent'.

Speaking of 'Fear and Smear', what's happened to the reviews on Amazon? Come on - get your fingers out!

"We don't need no steenkeeng badges!"

STRANDED AT THE DRIVE-IN. BRANDED A FOOL.

'Oh Sandy well, You came and you gave without taking, But we sent you away.'

I wonder how Big Sandy feels after the judgment by the Court of Session. There he was, skulking away on the 'Football Board', knowing full-well that if he went onto the board proper he'd be pilloried because of his conviction for fraud. Now Honest Dave has been cleared by a judge as 'fit and proper' despite being convicted on forty-one (or was it forty-two?) counts of fraud in South Africa. Sandy must be well pissed off!

It's been a strange business, the involvement of the Easdales with Bisto FC. They look like gangsters, and they have a bit of a reputation, but it can't be denied that they never took a penny out of the Ibrox club and were always willing to put their hands in their pockets when the bills arrived. And yet, they got nothing but abuse for their trouble. Remember all those e-mails they kept getting? And then there was Bomber Brown calling them 'rats' at the AGM. Nobody could blame them if their professed love for Rangers and the new pretendy-Rangers has now turned to a deep hatred.

We've yet to hear if Sandy is going to pursue Honest Dave and the rest of them through the courts, but if it were me I'd be suing them right down to their ankle socks. Everybody's waiting to see what Ashley's going to do, but my money's on Sandy Easdale ripping King a new arse. He doesn't look like the sort of person you want to get on the wrong side of and, let's face it, he's hardly been treated fairly by The Peeppul, has he?

Meanwhile, Wrang-Door McCall has been telling The Peeppul not to get carried away. He knows as well as we do that his team has been flattered by those recent wins. Hibs have been going through a sticky patch lately and Hearts looked as if they don't particularly care anymore; they've already won the league convincingly. McCall obviously hasn't looked at McMurdo's site yet; they're demanding the Premiership title delivered this time next year! Now that's definitely what you call getting carried away - and they should be carried away, by the men in white coats!

It's amazing that, no matter how many times things go wrong, The Peeppul see every tiny triumph as a sign that everything's starting to go their way. If it were anyone else, you'd admire that kind of glass-half-full optimism. Unfortunately, that's not the way The Peeppul work. They see things in terms of being entitled to everything and God smiting all their perceived enemies etc. etc. As soon as things go wrong again they can't see it as a reverse of fortune or, God forbid, their own fault; they immediately look for somebody to blame. That's why it's so hilarious when things do go wrong, as they always do.

I wonder who they'll blame for last night's slaughtering at Palmerston. I noticed on some of their sites that they were questioning McCulloch's red card; something about the referee not stopping play or some such. There's also the small matter of them believing that nothing short of murder should merit even a yellow card for a Bisto FC player! That'll be why they lost last night; McCulloch wasn't there to take the Queens' players out with his trademark forearm smash. It's a conspiracy, so it is!

And now we've discovered why Ashley didn't seem that bothered about the Real Raynjurz Men taking over; they actually haven't achieved that much. All they've won is a shite stadium, with question marks over who actually owns it, and a shite football team. Everything else, it appears, belongs to Ashley; he's got security over Murray Park, the Albion Car Park and Edmiston House, 75% of the retail business and now it emerges that he owns the rights to all the trademarks, even the word 'Ready'! He could even charge Bisto FC for having the Rangers crest on their shirts! I wonder if he owns the rights to those kid-on stars as well. This farce keeps getting better and better. We'll miss them when they've finally gone. Oh, and Mike - remember to leave some for Big Sandy!

I was on the SNP website and it struck me that they're doing their best to entice the Hun vote. How else to describe where they've got their headquarters in Edinburgh? Have you seen the address? Gordon LAMB House. And that's located in JACKSON'S ENTRY. Honest Dave King and the rest of the Real Raynjurz Men will know all about that!

Speaking of the SNP, have a read at this story. My God! Well, that's changed my mind for me. I'm voting Labour now!

Finally, another daft article in the Daily Record - Things to do with the kids over the Easter Holidays. Why not just do what parents used to do when I was wee? Open the door and tell them to 'Get tae fuck and don't come back till dinner time!' Problem solved!

"Let my peeppul go!"

WHY VOTE SNP?

Mick had an item on his blog the other day about why so many of us are voting SNP when, traditionally, we have been Labour voters. I didn't comment at the time, so here's my tuppence-worth now.

The SNP nowadays is an entirely different beast from what it was in the 1970s. The main demographic of SNP voters had always been exactly the same as the NSDAP (The Nazi Party) in Germany in the 1920s: those living in rural areas and small businessmen. Seats were won in other areas in by-elections but these gains were never held in subsequent general elections and were viewed as a protest vote. The electoral demographic of the party was reflected in its concerns in the 1970s; SNP politicians in the 70s usually went on about farming subsidies and fishing quotas. They also went on about oil a lot. A vote for the SNP seemed to envision an independent Scotland where we would all be drinking oil with a herring to dip in it.

The party also appeared to be quite nepotistic, with the Ewing Clan effectively running the show. We had Winnie, Margaret, Fergus, J.R., Bobby, Miss Ellie and all the rest holding top jobs in the party. It was also quite backward-looking, with many adherents of the party speaking in 'Lallans'; Robert Burns's language which none of us could understand. The SNP seemed to offer nothing other than independence, which, to many of us, was quite a frightening prospect. We had all come to believe that it was only membership of the UK that stopped the worst excesses of Scottish religious bigotry from running riot. In fact, looking at Scotland prior to 1707 it was an impoverished, backwards, hate-filled little country. The famous Darien scheme, for example, didn't only fail because of bad planning and English opposition; religious bigotry played its part as well. Many of those that went to the Isthmus of Panama died of malaria. The only known cure for malaria, then as now, was quinine, which at that time was made from the bark of the chinchona tree. The cure had been discovered by Jesuit missionaries, so was known as 'Jesuit's Bark'. Scottish people refused to use it and Scottish physicians refused to recommend it, purely based on its name. That wasn't the kind of Scotland I wanted to live in!

The electoral collapse of the SNP in 1979 is popularly ascribed to the SNP MPs voting against Labour in the vote of no-confidence. At the time, though, most of the papers seemed to be convinced that it was because of Ally McLeod's team's performance in Argentina! Real studies, however, show that the truth is entirely different. The SNP's manifesto in 1979 was more left-leaning than in previous years, outlining what could be done with tax revenue from oil in an independent Scotland. This lost the party a lot of votes among its traditional supporters, who were more right of centre. The subsequent internecine quarrels within the party were a result of this electoral failure, with Margo MacDonald and others leaving the SNP when the traditionalists won.

The party has come a long way since then and is now even more left-wing than that manifesto of 1979. It has also become a forward-looking party, while the mainstream UK parties appear to be content to rest on their laurels. As for the electorate; it used to be argued, and often still is, that Glasgow has more in common with Manchester and Liverpool than it does with Inverness or small towns in the Highlands. That, however, is no longer so cut-and-dried. A shared experience of the devastation of industry has affected the Central Belt and the Highlands alike. Shipbuilding, steel manufacture, coal mining, farming, fishing; everything that provided work in Scotland has all but disappeared. Every area of Scotland experienced the destruction of local industries; in many cases to protect jobs in England. Even when Westminster moved Civil Service departments to Scotland, supposedly 'creating jobs', English workers were moved to Scotland along with the jobs, revealing the whole exercise as a sham! And then there was the Poll Tax; something else that the whole of Scotland had to suffer while England did not.

What's influenced me to change from Labour to SNP, though, and I'm sure plenty of other folk are the same, is that England has moved dramatically to the right. There's a TV producer, called Adam Curtis, who's made some interesting documentaries about how governments nowadays rely on fear to get us to support them; frightening us half to death with tales of all the horrors potentially facing us. All three parts of 'The Power of Nightmares' are available on YouTube and I can highly recommend them.

Politics in England seems to have become about fear and hatred: of immigrants, who simultaneously appear to magically steal jobs while claiming unemployment benefits, of Europe, which has the nerve to bring in laws making sure that we all have basic, human rights, and of Muslims, who are all congregating together to seize any chance to murder us all in our beds and rape all our children. We also, apparently, need murderous nuclear weapons to protect us from all those maniacal countries out there that are planning to invade us. Social concerns have been tossed aside in favour of the politics of fear.

The SNP, on the other hand, is all about social justice, taking care of the unfortunate and the politics of optimism and a better future. Much of Scotland, including myself, has clung to these seemingly old-fashioned ideas while England has gone down the path of least resistance. That's why I support the SNP now; I don't want to be dragged along with England into some right-wing nightmare. Of course, there are those in Scotland that would be more than happy to espouse the UKIP dream. I don't think the rest of us would shed any tears if they pissed off out of an independent Scotland; I'm sure the South of England will welcome them with open arms!

Meanwhile, condolences to the family of Turnbull Hutton, who passed away on Sunday. In 2012 Hutton stood up to be counted, standing up for the integrity of the game of football in Scotland while others wanted to put the pound sign first. He and his associates at Raith Rovers received numerous death threats for their trouble, with members of The Peeppul even threatening to torch Stark's Park. Bravely, Hutton continued to argue for the rules of the game to be upheld, while others, including those at our own club, kept silent on the matter. The Peeppul, of course, see things differently, as evidenced by the petulant post on Phil Mac Giolla Bhain's blog by somebody calling herself 'mslucyblue'. http://www.philmacgiollabhain.ie/turnbull-hutton-rip/  She quotes Morrissey, believing that it somehow proves her point. I wonder if she'd still feel like quoting him if she was aware that Morrissey is of Irish descent and, as he has said on numerous occasions, is proud of the fact!

Speaking of The Peeppul, I see they're getting a bit carried away with that victory against Hearts. Every team, if they already have the league sewn up, tends to take its foot off the pedal in the remaining games. We've seen Celtic do it on numerous occasions and, in the past, when Rangers did it, the media was always there to remind us in case we hadn't noticed. Strangely, nobody's mentioning that scenario now. On the contrary, Stuart McCall is being touted as the greatest manager of all time. It seems they're a dead cert for promotion now and McCall is even talking about signing Vuckic on a permanent basis next season. Three questions: where the hell's the money going to come from, what makes McCall so sure he'll still be there next season and what makes McCall so sure that the club will even be there next season? Talk about counting your chickens!

And I think it's time Stephen Thompson had a word in the ear of Keith Jackson; or perhaps a letter from a lawyer might be more appropriate. Whatever anyone thinks of the business with the transfer fees at Dundee United, no club's financial matters should ever be compared to the catalogue of theft, fraud and other chicanery at Ibrox!

Lastly, can I appeal again for some reviews for 'Fear and Smear' on Amazon? I'm getting paranoid now. Has anyone that bought the book actually enjoyed it? Come on. Don't be shy!