Thursday, 30 April 2015


My old Latin teacher will be turning in his grave. Even if you didn't do Latin you'll remember Mr Lavelle if you were at the Maggies prior to 1978. He'd patrol the corridor between periods, his black teacher's gown wrapped round him, and whack you on the arse with a stick if you weren't walking properly. Once you'd got past him you entered the Home Economics department, where Mrs Murphy was waiting to hit you on the head with a wooden spoon. Going along the parallel corridor was just as dangerous, with the formidable Mrs O'Dea prowling outside her door. Aye, they knew how to keep order in those days.

Anyway, one of Mr Lavelle's bugbears was people mispronouncing words and using the wrong word entirely. He was always telling me how much he'd cringe when he heard folk on the TV talking about harAssment, when the word is actually hArassment, with the emphasis on the first syllable. He also hated when anybody used the word 'flaunt' when they really meant 'flout'. He was continually pointing this out to other teachers. He had a good turn of phrase, though, and could be quite witty so I don't think anybody took any offence.

He'd have gone nuts if he'd seen yesterday's Daily Record, which he would have done since, despite his intelligence, classical education and posh-sounding voice, he wasn't in the least snobbish. He was a keen boxing fan and liked the coverage in the Record. But yesterday, there it was in the headline: "Rangers (sic) on collision course with SPFL in play-off row as they prepare to flaunt rules and allow season ticket holders in for free". I mean, for God's sake; don't they have editors on that paper anymore? Even Jabba wouldn't have made a basic error like that! To make matters worse, there was another article about some female 'flaunting her legs'. Didn't anybody notice that the word couldn't have two different meanings?

On to the story itself and the Record is beating the drum as usual for Bisto FC. Also as usual, nobody asks any awkward questions. For example, why did Bisto not vote for the proposals of Hibs, Motherwell and Hearts at the SPFL meeting on 23rd April? And what about the fact that the SPFL have already ruled that season-ticket holders can get in for nothing? "The SPFL says that, as result of opposition from clubs, it will withdraw its proposal to prohibit admission via season tickets and impose minimum prices." (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32319194). In reality, this story is about nothing.

The SPFL has already said that season-ticket holders don't need to pay and that clubs can charge what they want; so what's the big deal? And, as Shaun pointed out to me, Bisto weren't the ones leading this supposed 'rebellion'. Hibs have been in the van throughout, with Hearts and Motherwell joining in. In fact, these three teams made it plain months ago that, should the occasion arise, they wouldn't be charging ST holders. The SPFL have already agreed to this so all our media is doing is trying to make Bisto FC out to be the heroes, when they've actually done nothing at all. It makes the DR's claim that Bisto FC are "set to be joined in their revolt, with Hibs and Motherwell also planning to follow suit" look utterly ridiculous.

So why is the new Bisto board making so much noise about all this? To find the answer you only need to look at McMurdo's blog and that of his Glee Club, Rangers (sic) Supporters Loyal. They've been moaning ever since the Real Raynjurz Men took over. While Listy Graham was co-opted onto the board (however briefly) and Halloween Houston, Fungus the Bogeyman and Auld Pishy were invited into the Directors' Box, McMurdo and his disciples have been screeching about how all the ones that bought season books, and kept the club going, have been ignored. All this pish about 'defying the SPFL' and letting ST holders in for free is obviously a sop to this bunch of Ashley supporters.

It doesn't seem to be working, though. This comment pretty much sums up Merlin's Mob's reaction: "I think you will realise brothers this being a sign of desperation for funds and purchase of forthcoming sale of season tickets…….not REALLY recognition of loyalty. Cunning boardroom members showing first glimmer of transparency to get onside but once again in my opinion the usual sleakit way."

They're far more concerned about Bisto FC not being allowed onto the ISDX market and they're blazing that Phil Mac Giolla Bhain seems to have his finger on the pulse. This angry comment sums it up: "Phil Mac Ghoilla Bhain (sic) writes about Rangers (sic), a lot . None of it portays Rangers (sic) in a good light , and none of the movers & shakers in Rangers (sic) recent history are given any credit." That's funny; I've yet to see Phil say a bad word against Sandy Easdale. Maybe they should start actually reading Phil's blog.

Meanwhile, John Guidetti has been 'censured', whatever that means, by the SFA for the heinous crime of saying 'hun'. Really, there was no way they could hand out any punishment whatsoever without looking stupid and weak, since they've refused to do anything about The Peeppul for decades. Ex-compliance officer,  Vincent Lunny had an interesting point to make: "It is, I think, significant there's no mention of it being sectarian or otherwise based on religion." This common-sense approach, however, was spoiled by his other comment, which will annoy huns and non-huns equally.  "It would appear their focus is on the comment attacking Rangers (sic) or making fun of Rangers for having gone into liquidation back in 2012." So it looks like denying the Big Lie is now an offence according to the SFA. But why should The Peeppul be annoyed at this statement? Well, he mentioned the dreaded 'L' word. A good job he's not working for the SFA anymore or he'd be next up before the beak.

Finally, on a more serious note, there's a story in our media about a ten-year-old girl, who was raped and made pregnant by her stepfather, being 'denied' an abortion in her native Paraguay, even though doctors agree that giving birth would be dangerous at that age. The implication is clear: Paraguay is a mainly Catholic country, so this story is to give our friendly neighbourhood bigots something to cluck and point fingers about. Reading elsewhere, however, it's plain that the girl is going to need serious counselling first; she hadn't even known she was pregnant! They can't just knock the girl out and go ahead; they'll need to explain everything and make sure there aren't going to be any psychological effects resulting from the procedure. Not that you'd know that from our bigoted media.

In fact, abortion is legal in Paraguay; especially in cases where it is needed, like this one. Nobody has come out and said that the girl is to be 'denied' an abortion; our media is just making it up. Perhaps they should be more concerned about the Pro-Lifers among the DUP, who want abortion outlawed no matter what the circumstances. That this bunch might possibly be power-brokers at Westminster after the election is a frightening prospect.

P.S. I mentioned this on Twitter yesterday and I'll be mentioning it again. Bella Caledonia has made no effort whatsoever to get in contact with me after promising to return my stolen books.

"Er...jist wait a fuckin' minute here. Ur yous tryin' tae tell me it's awright tae call theym 'huns' noo? An' how's that supposed tae make me feel, eh? Ah'm no' wanny they types that go rampagin' roon' Europe, smashin' things up an' batterin' folk. Ah'm no' hivvin' it, Ah tell ye! Comparin' me tae a fuckin' Rangers ur Sevco supporter...Ah'm no' hivvin' it!"


  1. Pat do you think the SFA will pass the glib and shameless one after passing Paul Murray ?

    1. Of course they will, Shaun. It's all for the 'Greater Good', isn't it?

  2. I do recall a Mr lavelle, unfortunately it was deemed from those above in the education system, that I and many other pupils were not bright enough to learn Latin, French ,or other subjects to a higher standard as I was in a d class. I might be wrong I think Mr lavelle married the music teacher in maggies, the d card was played with her as well as we were not allowed to touch the instruments. These were set aside for the abc classes we were taught to sing a song about the sinking of the titanic another music teacher taught us dirty old town, we sunk our teeth into that song and belted it out with gusto. I also remember a science teacher who would administer punishment with the three foot blackboard ruler if I was late for his class, also the history teacher who's belt was like a lump of wood and give you six of the best if you displeased him. I never told my parents about this as most parents thought teachers doctors priests etc. were beyond reproach.Thankfully times have changed I did meet an ex teacher in the pub (where else) we got chatting he informed me he was instructed from the powers that be to instil discipline, discipline ,discipline and actually apologised for this type of teaching of education., I see school as only a part of learning in life sorry if the above seems negative I had three fantastic years playing football with the famous maggies team we won every cup in sight were never beaten at home also won the under fifteen Scottish cup. We played all over Scotland and won home and away it was like winning the European cup. When I left school I did go on to further education and I learned to play various musical instruments and can still belt out dirty old town and various other songs with the instruments, that we were deemed to stupid to play. My learning did not stop when I left school I think it just began.