JABBA THE AGNIVORE

ENGLAND EXPECTS...! (NAW IT DISNAE!)

Keef Jabbason's latest piece in the Daily Record merits the usual double take that all his articles need. He starts off by saying that Green acts like "a spoiled child," talks about his "abrasive style" and about him "stamping his feet in anger." Couldn't have put it better myself. But wait, this is all just the usual smokescreen to put us off the real theme of the article: basically, that Green is right.

Jackson decides to hammer the new league set-up by laughing at how the Swiss abandoned it. He then goes on to list some racist, Swiss stereotypes. Maybe he should look at one historical fact about Switzerland: Catholics have lived there for centuries in a mostly Protestant country without any discrimination or sectarian abuse. Can you say the same for our great nation, Mr Jackson?

Anyway, the main thrust of Jackson's argument is that we should have a British league. The teams in the SPL should move to the lower leagues in England! He cites Wenger, whom he describes as "sage," as supporting both Celtic and Rangers moving dahn sarf. Wenger, however, also states that this would "kill the rest of Scottish football." But who cares about that, eh, Mr Jackson?

Over the past few months we've been told how the 'wee diddy teams' are the life-blood of the Scottish game. The SPL is apparently a 'busted flush' and filled with corruption and hatred. The SFL, on the other hand, has been touted as a model of respectability and organisation; its chief, David Longmuir the epitome of integrity and all-round good-eggedness. 

Now, however, as far as Jackson is concerned, they can all to to Hell! Since he has made it plain what he thinks of the teams in the SPL and is ready to jettison all the other clubs then why is he so keen for the move to England? It doesn't take an atom-splitting genius, working on the Hadron Collider, to discern that it's all for the benefit of only one club. Guess which club it is? I'll give you a clue: it starts with R, ends in S and is filled with anger.

There would be one other consequence of Jackson's half-arsed plan that he fails to address. For years FIFA have been trying to get rid of the national teams of Scotland, England, Northern Ireland and Wales and replace them with a British team. If, as Jackson wants, the Scottish league goes down the Swanee and our erstwhile SPL teams (plus Rangers, of course!) are playing in a British league then there would be no argument for keeping the four national teams. Do you want to support a team called Britain or (God forbid!) Team GB? It does not bear thinking about, especially since you know it would be, for all intents and purposes, the England team!

Anyway, Jackson's plan is just a pipe-dream. The English football authorities have made it plain since time immemorial that they are not going to welcome any Scottish team into their leagues. So dream on, Keef! You'll need to come up with a lot better than that if you want to take over Traynor's mantle as Agnivore-In-Chief!