The programme goes in for gentle ribbing instead of going for the jugular, which means very few laughs and an overall anodyne quality to the whole proceedings. There was one part, however, that concerned me a bit. It was the pathetic Mastermind sketch, where the Celtic fan breaks the seat. This is becoming a stereotype now, even though it is the fans of other teams that are the real serial hooligans. I hear, for example, that Motherwell supporters smashed up seats at Fir Park last week. This was only a matter of weeks after they did the same thing at New Douglas Park. You'll struggle, however, to find any mention of this in our esteemed media. It would expose the fact that the Celtic support is not the worst, and our Fourth Estate wouldn't like that!
Meanwhile the Bisto Kids are still bleating about everybody being against them. They didn't like the songs and chants of the Dunfermline and Airdrie supporters and are starting to talk about boycotts again. Don't they realise that it is this arrogant assumption that everybody needs them that gets up folks' noses? They can't even accept that it was all the overspending that got them into the mess they're in; they try to blame everybody else. And they wonder why nobody likes them!
They're also moaning about hard tackles. I never thought I'd see the day when an Ibrox team was greeting about players going in too hard; it's been the trademark at Ibrox for decades! And any team that has Ian Black in its ranks complaining about hard tackles is a joke.
Speaking of jokes, the griping from St Mirren when video evidence was used against thug Jim Goodwin is nothing short of ridiculous. Keith Jackson, in the Daily Record, calls the current system a 'Clype's Charter' and thinks changes should be made. The word 'clype' speaks volumes, if you'll pardon the pun. It's the kind of word you would use at primary school, when to grass on someone was seen as the worst crime you could commit. Most of us have grown out of that mentality and no longer chant things like, 'Tell-tale tit, yer mammy cannae knit!' Some folk, including Jackson, sadly haven't. To take his way of thinking to its logical conclusion, we should all keep quiet if we witness a crime. Never mind if you saw a crowd of neds beating an old man to death, say nothing to the police; you don't want to be a clype, do you? It appears that Jackson wants to replace the Clype's Charter with a Thug's Charter.
And why do you think Jackson is so keen to downplay video evidence? Could it have something to do with Bisto FC's expected entry to the Championship next season? Playing against teachers, policemen and social workers is one thing, playing against fellow professionals quite another. The only way Bisto will be able to cope is by resorting to the old team's tactics: kick everybody off the park and dive if an opposition player so much as farts. The last thing they want is folk using video evidence to put a stop to this. The fact that Dougie McDonald has been welcomed back into the SFA with open arms certainly supports this theory. It looks like they're trying to return to the bad old days.
It's all quiet on the Bisto front at the moment. The Krays probably had a funeral to attend in North London yesterday so there would be no board meetings. That reminds me, is there any word of them having bought Hughie Green's shares yet? It certainly doesn't look as if they're in any hurry to do so. So Green is still lurking in the background, The Laxative has still to play his hand and there's the little matter of the Ticketus money still to be cleared up. It's going to be an interesting year.
As well as waiting to see how the Chancellor of the Exchequer answers dinosaur jockey Gregory Campbell, we're all waiting with baited breath to see the scope of the cut-backs that Sooperally is going to have to make. Getting rid of Sooper and his oversized coaching team might be a good start. Of course, Sooper is unhappy about having to weild the axe and says that he needs to build a stronger team, not a weaker one. Why? Not, as you would think, to start planning for the future or anything but simply to stop Celtic winning ten league titles in a row. Talk about playing to the gallery!
Bill McMurdo's blog has been full of the usual pish about the Premier League being uncompetitive and how Celtic needs 'Rangers' to provide excitement. Strangely this kind of thinking goes hand-in-hand with desperately trying to accuse Celtic of financial chicanery. They're looking to destroy Celtic and seem to want nothing more than to see the club disappear. So, really, their desire is for them to be in the position Celtic is in now with a string of titles to look forward to and money from Europe every year. They really are a slimy bunch of hypocrites, claiming all the while to just be thinking about Scottish football when, in reality, they couldn't give a gorilla's wank about anything other than their own team.
Finally, at this time of year with winter upon us and the dreaded festive season over, we should perhaps think of those that are less able to look after themselves. There are old people out there, living alone, incontinent and in poor mental health, that need somebody to check on them and see that they are coping. With that in mind, could somebody go and knock on Leggat's door and see if he's okay?
Aw fur fu...
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