Meanwhile, outside the Stadium of Shite, Listy Graham and Halloween Houston were rallying the troops for yet another anti-board demonstration. From the pictures in the Daily Record you would think it all passed off peacefully and all the paper had to say about the trouble was that police had arrested somebody for 'an incident'. And the ones inside Ibrox were just as bad as those outside; apparently a Hearts fan is in hospital, having been beaten up for singing and chanting. Je suis Charlie, eh!
I had to laugh at some of the comments on McMurdo's blog, 'This is not the Rangers (sic) way'. Er...Manchester, Barcelona, etc. etc. It's precisely the 'Raynjurz' way! And what's got them all so riled this time? Ibrox is going to be used for collateral for a £10m loan from Ashley. Cue all the mawkish stuff about a 'shrine' to 'The 66' etc. As McMurdo pointed out, getting in before me, shrines aren't supposed to be a Protestant thing. And yet they're out punching women and beating up old men because somebody's tarnishing their temple!
McMurdo bemoans the anti-Rangers (sic) media and SFA but, really, he's talking crap. The whole thing is all about getting 'Real Raynjurz Men' into the Blue Room, which, I can smugly announce, was the running theme of my book 'Clash of the Agnivores'. Where's yer Phil Mac Giolla Bhain noo? Finger on the pulse or what! Our media, our football authorities and many of The Peeppul themselves can't accept folk at the top of the marble staircase that aren't steeped in all the Orange, Billy-Boys shite.
There is something that hasn't appeared to have occurred to all these folk that are championing a convicted criminal and his cronies taking over in the boardroom. Honest Dave and Paul Murray were on the board of the Oldco and, if they were to get their feet back under the table it opens up some interesting possibilities. If a phoenix (note the spelling, Daily Record!) company has the same directors, pursues the same business and has a name that sounds pretty much like that of the old company, it can, for the purposes of creditors seeking payment, be considered to be the same company. Maybe the face painter can get her name on the deeds instead of Mike Ashley!
And poor Sooperally is banned, under the terms of his 'Gardening Leave', from even setting foot inside Ibrox, which means he can't attend the Old Crocks match for Fernando Ricksen. Isn't it strange how the Daily Record and the Union of Fuckwits won't say a bad word against Sooper, even though he's siphoned off more cash than any of the 'spivs' they all complain about? Still, Sooper is already doing his bit to help his old pal Fernando. When last seen, Ally was getting off a plane in Amsterdam with a bag of John Innes Number 1 on his shoulder.
Ways for Bisto FC to raise cash No. 538. I saw in the Daily Record the other day that some model was posting topless pictures of herself on Instagram or whatever it's called. Purely in the interest of research and keeping up with new fashions, I had a look at the photos. What confronted me was an arse that wouldn't look out of place on a Grand National winner! My daughter tells me that huge arses are all the rage with everybody wanting an arse like Kim Kardashian, Nicki Menaj (?) and Desert Orchid. Now there's an idea for the club playing at Ibrox. There are plenty of huge arses there - Kris Boyd, David Somers, Sandy Easdale and Mike Ashley to name but a few. They could do one of those calendars...No. I'll stop there. I've just realised that you'd need a pretty strong, load-bearing wall to support such an item!
Finally, I've been posted missing quite a bit lately and this is due to putting the finishing touches to my new book. I've actually finished writing it but I'm in the process of checking all my sources and putting the references at the end. It's about the Better Together campaign and it's called 'Fear and Smear'. Hopefully it'll be available in the next week or so.
Allly strips off and shaves his legs for the proposed calendar.
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