JABBA THE AGNIVORE

BEES AND BEASTS

 

I remember when the Daily Record website used to allow comments somebody made a rather sage observation. Whoever it was said that the Ibrox hordes had what he called a 'hive mind.' They very rarely expressed an individual opinion, instead all spouting the exact same slogans and sound bites. The guy was right as it is obviously true that the supporters of Rangers, and Trigger's Brush FC, always seem to be of one mind. They are like bees, wasps, ants or termites in a nest, where pheromones are spread around to ensure that every insect is following the same script. Witness the way they all spout 'We arra Peeppill,' use words like 'cabal' and follow follow the party line in blaming others for their woes.

A prime example is Mark Hateley, whose articles in the Daily Record usually end with 'as told to...' Strangely, this did not appear in yesterday's DR article. Perhaps Hateley has been going to Adult Literacy classes! Anyway, like one of the Borg from Star Trek, he echoes the sentiments expressed a couple of days earlier in the same paper by Kevin Kyle and the same sentiments expressed in Bill McMurdo's blog and any other Brushers' blog you care to name. Although Hateley is too timid to express the full thoughts of the 'hive mind' he points the finger at the usual suspects.

The usual crap is trotted out: the SFA are responsible for the financial mess at Hearts and other clubs and they should be vetting owners to make sure they are 'fit and proper.' Aye, right! As I said yesterday, it's okay everyone being wise after the event but can you imagine the reaction if the SFA had knocked back Craig Whyte?

He goes on to suggest that the SFA should be examining the books of each club on a yearly basis to check that everything is in order. What are they supposed to do then? Hateley agrees with Stewart Regan that licences should be withdrawn from clubs that 'create their own financial meltdown.' According to Hateley, it's 'too little too late.' So I take it he would have been happy for Rangers' licence to be removed when they could not produce signed-off accounts! Somehow I doubt it. To the 'hive mind' the normal rules don't apply to them!

There is also another problem with this idea. Years ago I knew somebody that worked for the owner of a certain football team. The football team was not his only business interest; he had many companies operating under the umbrella of his holding company. The main job of the person I knew was, along with others, to use computers to constantly transfer funds between the different companies in order to show healthy balances and make it easier for these companies to secure loans. With this way of working it would have been easy for the football team to show a healthy balance sheet every year. I'll give you three guesses which football team I'm talking about and who the owner was!

Meanwhile Tam Cowan is optimistic about the chances for Hearts' survival. He thinks the fans will come through, the way they did at Motherwell. Strangely, though, he says, 'When Rangers were flogged for £1 to Craig Whyte before going belly up, it was the punters – not Charles Green – who gave the Ibrox club the kiss of life.' Eh? How the hell does he make that out? When Rangers went into administration all the supporters did was demonstrate outside Ibrox. Even then all they could chant and sing about was 'Fenian bastards' and being 'up tae wur knees in Fenian blood.' Yes, that must have been a geat help! They're still blaming 'Fenian bastards' for what happened to this day!

I had to laugh, though, when Tam brought up something that I, and no doubt everybody else, had forgotten about: the crossbar challenge! So what happened to that? Did anybody win it? And if they did, were they just added to the list of creditors of the old 'holding company'? Talk about fooling all of 'The Peeppil' all of the time!

Meanwhile Sooperally might be handed the most exciting incentive ever to prove himself a proper coach and manager and to inspire his team to climb to the top tier as quickly as possible. Greggs are in talks to supply snacks to all the grounds in the SPL. Now if that doesn't prove a filip to Sooperally nothing will!

In closing, a reading from Chapter 13 of The Revelation of St John the Divine. I wonder if the second beast's name is Green!


13:1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.
13:2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.
13:3 And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.
13:4 And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?

13:11 And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.
13:12 And he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed.

13:15 And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.

'It's the same team!'