JABBA THE AGNIVORE

THE DOG IS NOW WAGGING THE TAIL

The Brushers are frothing at the mouth over the vote by the SFL to amalgamate with the SPL to form a new body, the SPFL. They're shouting, as usual, about cabals and how Peter Lawwell is looking to run the whole of Scottish football, to the benefit of Celtic and the detriment of Trigger's Brush FC. How the hell they make this out is anybody's guess, but they are trying to have us all believe that the whole buisiness of reconstruction is purely in order to damage their team!

As far as I'm concerned, it's about time somebody had the bollocks to stand up to these diddy teams, who seem to think they have a God-given right to run football in this country. As I've said before on here, this goes back to the snobbishness of the Nineteenth Century, when amateurs were called 'gentlemen' and professionals were looked down upon. Some of this snobbery still lingers (for example, the phrase 'professional foul' speaks volumes) and there is still a feeling among the 'gentlemen' that the game belongs to them and that professional teams are mere interlopers. Witness the disproportionate influence some of these teams have had in the SFA over the years.

Even in this day and age these wee teams want to be running the show. They previously threw out the SPL proposals, while still standing with their hands out, expecting the teams in the SPL to keep subsidising them. The First Division teams, however, had had enough and called their bluff by threatening to go it alone with the SPL. Today, realising that the game was up, most of the Division 2 and Division 3 teams fell into line. Exactly what their initial objections were is unclear since they came up with no counter-proposals of their own. The reason for one individual's objections, however, are all too transparent; but I'll come to that later.

The biggest objectors, by far, to league reconstruction, are the fans of Trigger's Brush FC. In tandem with the wee, diddy teams, Rangers always had undue influence in the corridors of power. The disgraceful behaviour of Jim Farry showed how this influence could be misused. In later years Gordon Smith, a Rangers apologist, who argued that Rangers' bigoted songbook was just 'tradition,' got his hands on the reins of power. Nowadays, however, things are slightly different. Rangers are dead and buried and their influence has gone as well. Certainly Campbell Ogilvie is still hanging around like a bad smell and Vincent Lunny has followed the usual procedure by refusing to act on the sectarian chanting and singing of both Rangers and Trigger's Brush FC supporters. In the main, however, the team at Ibrox no longer holds sway over Scottish football.

This is what sticks in the craw of the Brushers. They can no longer take for granted that the football authorities are on their side. Those days are gone. They make up stories about cabals and Peter Lawwell being a puppet master but, in their heart of hearts, they know that this is garbage. They got so used to their team being in charge that they cannot bring themselves to believe that things are fairer now. In the darkness of their minds they have to believe that somebody else must have replaced them in the corridors of power!

I might seem to have contradicted myself here by saying that the diddy teams have had undue influence but then saying that Rangers practically ran Scottish football; but I haven't. In the area of finance Celtic and Rangers always stuck together against everyone else but, in terms of power it was Rangers backed up by the diddy teams. As many English folk said to me over the years, it was always obvious from our media that Rangers was the Establishment team. Scottish football has been a backwards-looking institution for over a hundred years. 'Traditions' and 'Precedent' have always been more important than bringing the game into the modern world. It wasn't that long ago that we couldn't see a big-name European tie on TV because Diddytown United were playing the Bricklayers XI that evening!

There is always a harking back to the Golden Age of football, when men were men and players would turn up on a Saturday, after a night out on the piss, stub their fags out, put their false teeth somewhere safe and then blooter a soggy bladder up and down the pitch for ninety minutes. None of these characters would last five minutes in the modern game, used as they were to dribbling round defenders coughing their guts up with emphysema! But Scottish football finds it hard to move past this 'Golden Age' and Rangers have always been seen as the upholders of these 'traditions.'

Which puts a different light on the whining and moaning of Jim Ballantyne, president of the SFL, chairman of Airdrie and member of the SFA board. He complains that the SFL has been 'taken over' and mourns the loss of the Scottish Football League. As usual, his point of view is backwards-looking. There is, however, a further element to this man's opposition to league reconstruction: Ballantyne used to be a shareholder in Rangers FC! He's hardly what you would call impartial, then, is he?

A big deal is also being made about the demands for 'due diligence' from the SFL over the SPL's accounts. All these scroungers really need to know is that the gravy train will still be running. Who the hell are they to question the financial viability of the SPL? That's like Albania demanding to see the books before joining the European Union!

While all the wailing and gnashing of teeth is going on, Bill McMurdo decided to take issue also with the proposal for new disciplinary procedures. He wondered out loud whether the 'law would be evenly applied.' I decided to comment:

"The new law won’t be evenly applied? Is the current one? Mr Lunny could not hear thousands at Hampden last year singing ‘The Billy Boys’ but managed to get his ear trumpet fixed in time to hear a couple of dozen singing IRA songs at a Euro tie!"

Have a look at some of the well-thought-out, reasoned replies I got:

"Why is the Roman here, obviously ignoring bloggers who blog Romanism. Seriously, normally I don’t use profanity unless trying to stress a point, simply Fuck off, back to your House of Rome and continue to revel in the corruption that blights this land perpetuated by all things Roman.
Figures mentioned in your post, proves your Roman Education sorry, Roman Arithmetic leaves a lot to be desired."

"Spot on BILL. Funny how pat, mick and ourrivalry go missing when pzy was giving us all the info about there manky team, then pat crawls out from the sewers to talk about something completely different to divert all the attention away from pzj info. Think Pat shiting himself that its all being exposed. BILL just show him the BLUE(Sorry Red) card as he talks utter shite, and take his BILE somewhere else"

"I often wonder where we would have been,if we had,nt taken you in."

"Fuck of back to your rock ya fkn twat , what is your obsession????"

They really can't help themselves, can they? And they pour scorn on my education!!!

Meanwhile the Establishment is looking for revenge. If a key prosecution witness fails to turn up at a trial then either the trial goes ahead without the witness or the case is thrown out for lack of evidence. It seems that this is not the case when the witness is Craig Whyte. A warrant has been issued for his arrest, border agencies have been told to look out for him and there is even talk about Interpol and extradition procedures! My God, they don't even go to these lengths for the drug dealers on the Spanish Costas! Do you think maybe Whyte has upset somebody?

And here's a good idea to get all the Brushers onside: instead of 'Reconstruction' we'll call it 'Reformation'!

'Hey! Don't go bringin' me intae it!'