Izzard is a comedian that I've never found even remotely funny and I can't understand how he's managed to get where he is. He's now intending to enter politics; apparently he's going to run for Mayor of London. So what the hell is he doing up here? In a vomit-inducing talk to the press he says that he was on Scotland's side when he was watching Braveheart. Why doesn't he just pat us all on the head and be done with it? He reminds me of John Cleese's Robin Hood character in Time Bandits.
Even more sickening is the fact that Izzard uses the exact same pathetic arguments as David Cameron. Wasn't it wonderful to be all together during the London Olympics? Didn't it make your heart swell with pride when Andy Murray won a gold medal for 'Team GB'? So we can all continue to make our way down to the food bank and look forward to a poverty-stricken old age cheered by the news that we can bask in the glow of 'Team GB' marching onwards to victory every four years!
What's frightening Labour, and it's supporters like Izzard, is that it has traditionally relied on the 'Celtic Fringe' to get into Westminster, while most of England tug their forelocks and vote Tory. With Scotland gone, the Labour Party in England could effectively be finished for good. And hell mend them! For years they've taken the Scottish vote for granted and really done nothing for us. Come independence Scottish Labour can start over and actually do something for their constituents for a change.
David Cameron, as well as the well-trodden path about 'Team GB' and wars and the like also has this to say, “Sixty years ago – building the health service that says no matter where you’re from or how much you’ve got, we will look after you." Is he joking? The Tories have done their best to ruin the Health Service for years, privatising many areas. Nowadays hospitals are filthy places, where you can come out more ill than when you went in. If you've got money, however, the private sector awaits. The only way we're going to get a decent health service again is to run it properly, as it was first intended. We're not going to be able to do that tied to the Tory Westminster apron strings!
The row caused by Beram Kayal continues to rumble on in the Daily Record. Today they've dragged Chris Sutton into the argument. I don't know what they're paying Sutton but he doesn't half spout some pish in his article. He compares his own injuries to that of Kayal, which shows a remarkable lack of tact and understanding. Sutton's injuries, which finished his career, were entirely accidental. McCulloch's lunge on Kayal, on the other hand, was a vicious, premedited assault. Telling Kayal to 'man up' is disgraceful, patronising and totally unworthy of Sutton. Some folk will do anything for money!
Sooperally comes out with a cracker today. He says that tomorrow's Pawnshoap Cup final is a chance to concentrate on the football instead of finances for a change. It seems to have slipped his mind that the whole match is based around finance. Raith Rovers is a team filled with amateurs, who have just finished a week's proper work. Sooper's team, on the other hand, is full of professionals and costs more than all the teams in the Premiership, apart from Celtic. Bisto FC are the overwhelming favourites to win. Why? Finances, of course!
The Bisto Kids, meanwhile, are up in arms about the blanket ban on alcohol for tomorrow's game. One poster on McMurdo's blog claims that it's unfair since they never have bans when the rugby is on. In many ways he's got a point. The knee-jerk reaction is to say that you don't get trouble with rugby fans; that, however, is far from true. I have seen rugby fans in Edinburgh practically wrecking pubs, fighting, harassing innocent bystanders, beating people up and generally causing a nuisance. None of this, however, ever makes it into the papers, as if there's some sort of nod-and-a-wink understanding to keep it out. Reminds you of how the antics of a certain football team's fans manage to get ignored or forgotten, eh?
The trouble is that the supporters of Rangers and Bisto have had their violent excesses reported upon outside Scotland so it is hard to ignore. The well-heeled denizens of Edinburgh's New Town don't want these thugs rampaging through their streets so the police have been forced to take action. You'll be hard-pushed to find any Scottish people living in the New Town; the vast majority of the residents come from England. So maybe it's about time that The Peeppil let go of the myth that the English love them!
And finally, it's goodbye to Hearts. Today's win by St Mirren means that it's Championship football for the Jam Tarts next season. More worrying for Hearts fans, though, is the rumour that the club is going into liquidation this coming Monday. Some Bisto Kids are already gloating and saying that the company and club is incorporated so Hearts can't transfer the team to a new holding company. That's strange. Rangers was incorporated as well but it didn't stop them perpetrating the scam, did it? If it's good enough for them then it's good enough for everybody else!
"It's no' fair how thur bannin' alcohol fur wur loyal fans before the game the morra. Ah mean, that wisnae us in Manchester, that wiz a different club. We're a new club in't wae? Ah mean, wae've still goat wur history 'n 'at an' wur gonnae get back tae where wae belang at the toap-y the Premiership. What's that? Ye should know bae noo how it works. When it comes tae titles an' cups 'n 'at wur the same club. If Rangers owed embdy money ur thur fans caused trouble in Barcelona an' Manchester 'n 'at then wur a different club. Good history = same club; bad history = different club. Besides, thur's a loat worse things've happened. Ah heard sumdy let aff a smoke cannister at a Celtic game!"
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