THE CHOSEN PEEPPIL

It has to be said that Dundee Utd were less than impressive yesterday. I suppose that happens when you're facing sub-standard opposition. Bisto FC ran about like headless chickens and it put DU off their stride a bit. It reminds me of when I used to go to a chess club when I was fourteen. I could play chess but wan't very good; I had no idea of strategy. I played a game against a man that was a Scottish champion and he had a tough time of it. As he told me afterwards, it was one of the hardest games he had ever played; he was completely baffled about my tactics. Just when he had me figured out I'd go and do something completely different. The truth was that I had no idea what I was doing and it left him totally confused. You could see the same confusion among the Utd players, which is why, despite the scoreline, they made heavy weather of it.

Another memory came back while I watched the match. I was reminded of that infamous game between Celtic and Rangers when Hugh Dallas was hit by a coin. It was obvious throughout the game where his allegiances lay but it was shown afterwards, from match statistics, that we paranoid ones were totally wrong. Celtic got far more free kicks than Rangers so, obviously, there was no bias. This did not take into account, however, the way Celtic players were never allowed to play on when they had the advantage; they were constantly called back to take free kicks, giving Rangers the chance to re-group and defend in numbers. The same thing happened yesterday. When defending, Utd always had a couple of players ready to attack on the break. They never got the chance. They were pulled back every time to take a free kick just outside the goal area. Again, though, the statistics won't show this.

It's beginning to dawn on the Bisto Kids just how bad their team actually is. McMurdo is scathing about them, while only one or two of his contributors are pleased, thinking that Bisto actually outplayed DU! Apparently, Sooperally thinks the same thing, which speaks volumes. This bunch is going to need a lot more than compliant officials to get them out of the Championship next year.

I wonder if Vincent Lunny was at the game yesterday. And did he have his ear trumpet with him? When Bisto managed to score The Peeppil woke up and the songs of hate came pouring out. Not a word was said about it by the commentator or by the Daily Record. Will we hear of anything being done about this? Or will it simply be ignored as usual? If it's the latter case then it will certainly make me think again about my reaction to the Leigh Griffiths business.

It was the usual pish from the commentary team yesterday, saying that Rangers (sic) were looking to appear in their 52nd Scottish Cup final. Funny, I thought it would have been their first appearance, and only their second cup final overall. As usual, the Big Lie takes precedence over the truth.

It harks back to what I was saying in my last blog. What is the club and what is the company? What, exactly, was Duff and Phelps trying to flog to Bill Miller, Bill Ng or even the Blue Knights? Were they all vying to buy some kind of holding company, while 'the club' could be stolen out from under them at any time? It's up there with some of the great mysteries of the world. Except, really, there's no mystery about it; it's all been fraud, pure and simple.

I was thinking today about something I mentioned on this blog a good while back. It's about stolen goods. If I receive, or buy, something stolen, even unwittingly, there's no chance of me keeping it or being reimbursed when the long arm of the law identifies the true owner. It's the same with money. If I'm paid with stolen money then I've got a fight on my hands trying to be paid when this stolen money is taken from me. So what about the money Craig Whyte allegedly defrauded Ticketus out of? This was used to pay off Rangers' debt to Lloyds TSB. Shouldn't the bank have to hand this money back?

It's obvious why our authorities haven't gone down this route. If a bank was chasing after its money, especially an amount running into millions, it's not going to be put off by stories of holding companies etc. If the powers-that-be at Ibrox are claiming to be the same club then they would be chased through the courts for this cash. The only way they could avoid paying up would be to admit that they're a new, different club. And we can't have that, can we? Much easier to make Ticketus forlornly chase Craig Whyte for their cash.

A spanner might be put in the works, however, when HMRC finally get a proper judgment about the money they're owed. Do you think they'll be happy to just go along with the Big Lie? More likely they'll pursue the current regime for their cash, exposing the fraud concerning 'holding companies' and the like. The only way Bisto FC could escape is by admitting that, legally, they are a new club, with only two years history on the clock.

There is, however, another way that Bisto FC could avoid all this pain and misery. If Scotland were to become independent then the whole tax organisation, from the bottom up, will need to be reformed. HMRC would have no jurisdiction in Scotland and would have a hard job pursuing their claim. Maybe McMurdo etc should be encouraging The Peeppil to vote YES!

Speaking of which, the SNP have confounded their opponents by refusing to get drawn into some of the petty, personal attacks used by Better Together. Alex Salmond has emphasised that this is a vote for democracy, rather than a vote for him, while Nicola Sturgeon has pointed out that Scottish Labour could enjoy a renaissance in an independent Scotland. This is the fundamental difference between each side of this debate: the YES campaign argues about all the positive benefits of independence while the NO lot can only come up with pathetic scare stories, all of which have been proven to have no basis in fact.

The true mindset behind Unionism is easy to find if you look for it. On McMurdo's blog, on his introduction page, he has a huge sign, shouting, "ONE NATION - No!! to separation. Keep Scotland British." At the bottom of this command it tells us that it was produced by some website called 'britainawake.com' This is the usual battle cry of the extreme right wing, from Mosley, to Thatcher and even (the real) Hughie Green in an embarrassing display on Opportunity Knocks! This particular website, of course, is no different.

They outline their aims as, "We are a group of people with one purpose: to see the glory of God engulf the British Isles." That sounds familiar. It's the same kind of thing that the Ku Klux Klan comes out with in America. Their website also links to something called the 'British Church.' Searches for this 'church' proved to be unfruitful, but they are kind enought to set out the 'Church's' beliefs on their website. A huge part of these beliefs involve British Israelism, one of the mainstays of the belief system of the Orange Order. It is also evident in the USA, among 'churches' aligned with something called 'Christian Identity.' Members of this mob see their Anglo-Saxon descent as meaning that they are part of the lost tribes of Israel. They are fanatically racist and have been involved in terrorist outrages against blacks and jews. They are also closely linked with the Ku Klux Klan!

This is hardly the kind of thing that is going to have people flocking to stand up for the Union, is it? No wonder they can't come up with anything positive; their whole idea of the Union is based on a pile of ignorant, racist mumbo-jumbo. No wonder they have to resort to scare stories and personal attacks!

Back to Bisto FC and The Peeppil have been handed a dilemma. The current denizens at the top of the marble staircase have already sent out season-book renewal forms, even though they haven't said what the price of these season books is yet. So anyone sending off their direct-debit mandate could be in for a helluva shock when the money comes out of their bank account!

On the other hand, they could always subscribe to 'Honest' Dave King's 'trust fund'. Richard Gough has come out in support of this madcap scheme, saying that he's going to be one of the 'trustees'. (I wonder if that was Auld Pishy's idea!)

So either they hand over the weans' shoe money for a bunch of fat salaries and for Sooperally to piss down the drain, or they give their cash to a convicted crook to look after, with no guarantees. Aye, it's a tough life when you're a Bisto Kid.

Finally, was the pitch narrowed? I don't know. What I did notice, though, was the amount of passes wide that were overhit and ended up going out for a throw-in. Even some of the Bisto passes ended up this way. I wonder what could have caused that!

"What um Ah gonnae dae? Ah waant tae haud oanty ma big pye packet so Ah waant aw the mugs tae buy thur season tickets. But aw ma pals ur in the King camp so Ah shood waant the mugs tae pit thur money intae thon trust fund. But that might pit us intae administration ur even liquidation. Stull, then ma pals could buy the place cheap. But wid they keep a useless bastard like me oan iz manager? What um Ah gonnae dae? Cups? Who gie's a fuck?"

IT'S KARAOKE TIME!
WITH ALLY 'MEAT LOAF' MCCOIST

Mibby wae kin talk aw night
But that's no' gettin' us naewhere
Ah've told yez evryhin' Ah possibly kin
An' stull yez aw complain it's no' fair

An' mibby yez kin greet aw night
But that'll nivver chinge the pye that Ah get
The boos ur gettin' worse an' worse each week
But thurz nae wye yez kin make mae leave here
Ah'll be here rakin' in aw the cash
It shows yez aw how little that Ah care
Ah'm tired-y words an' Ah'm too hoarse tae shout
An' Ah've been eatin' pies that long
Ah'm cryin' pyoor grease noo insteed-y tears
An' aw Ah kin dae
Iz keep oan whisperin'
Yez aw waant (aw waant)
Trebles (Trebles)
But therz nae wye Ah'm ivver gonnae win thum
But don't bae sad (Don't bae sad)
'Coz wan oot-y three's no' bad
Noo don't bae sad
'Coz wan oot-y three's no' bad