There has been good news for Hearts fans, as it looks as if the club is safe. Though why any club should be frightened of liquidation these days is beyond me. Then again, not every new club will get a helping hand and everyone falling over themselves to pretend it's the 'same club,' will they? Michael Gannon, in the Daily Record, might want to watch what he's saying. He says that the Jambos came 'close to oblivion.' That won't go down too well in certain quarters. If liquidation = oblivion, then that means that a certain club died, doesn't it? Oh dear. Mr Gannon had better keep an eye on what's coming through his letterbox.
A point of note about the Hearts situation is how they're all talking about rebuilding, cost-cutting and living within their means. Their main concern is the survival of the club and if that means a couple of seasons, or more, in the second tier then so be it. You get the impression that even were they to fall right down the leagues they wouldn't care; as long as the club survives. Contrast this with the prodigality at Ibrox, where the only concern is stopping Celtic from winning too many titles; if their own club gets obliterated in the process then so be it. Another thing worth noting is that the Hearts fans haven't blamed anyone else for their predicament and they haven't turned Romanov into some kind of bogey-man as has happened with Craig Whyte. They could teach The Peeppil a thing or two about dignity.
Sooperally, meanwhile, decided to give the singing a rest and try a bit of stand-up comedy instead. He says that it doesn't matter which league Bisto FC is in, it'll be a 'massive achievement' if they go the full season unbeaten. It's the way he tells them! Amid the laughter and derision one Bisto Kid spoke up for Sooper on the DR phone-in. Rangers (sic) can only play what's in front of them, he whines. That's funny; the same goes for Celtic and yet The Peeppil insist that the Premiership title is 'tainted'!
And the nonsense continues with the PFA Player of The Year nominees. Bisto FC has three of its players in contention for the Division 1 prize. How much of a joke is that? So these guys have impressed everyone by struggling against part-time amateurs! And yet, as soon as even one Celtic player gets nominated for the Premiership award the cries of 'tainted' will be heard. Mind you, it's hardly surprising that it's all Bisto players being nominated in Division 1. The awards are being sponsored by Cheque Centre, a payday loan company. They're probably paying Bisto back for all the business they've brought their way!
Like Auld Pishy did with Imran Ahmed, McMurdo is getting fixated on Honest Dave. Every day he goes over the same old ground about how untrustworthy King is. Today he describes King's conduct at 'ungentlemanly'. What century is he living in? I suppose it's all part of the myth of the 'dignified gentlemen' that have always been in charge at Ibrox; all brogues, suits and Masonic keyrings. Even when they were bashing the back of somebody's nut in with an oar it was all done in a dignified manner!
I see that there was a banner at Ibrox the other night, saying 'SFA + SPFL Corrupt to the Core.' Now I know that the majority of the Bisto Kids are like the Epsilon caste in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, but it would be interesting nonetheless to hear some kind of explanation for that statement. As far as I can see the only corruption shown by our footballing authorities in recent years has been in turning a blind eye to fraud at a new club, allowing this new club to jump the queue into the leagues, entering into secret, five-point agreements with this new club and ignoring bigoted singing and chanting among this new club's support. Surely The Peeppil aren't calling for something to be done about all this? Then again, when you're about as bright as a 5 watt bulb I suppose anything's possible!
And an update. I've just been on the Daily Record site and seen who's in contention for the Premiership Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year. There's no arguing with the nominations for Young POTY; Dundee Utd's lads have been playing out of their skins while Stevie May has been a revelation. Three Celtic players have been nominated: Commons, Van Dijk and Forster. And then comes the fly in the ointment; Kris Boyd. Kris Boyd? I haven't actually seen him play this season but he must have come a long way from being the Fat Penalty Taker at Rangers! In my mind's eye I can still see him, puffing his way into the box and flying at the keeper with his studs showing. Maybe he's turned over a new leaf and I'm being too hard on him but, to be honest, he was never much of a player of any year!
How about a joke to finish with, since there's nothing much else to talk about? A man goes into a pub with a dog and insists that the brute can talk. He bets all the incredulous customers and the bar staff £20 each that his dog can actually speak. All the twenty-quid notes are slapped down on the bar and the man takes a wad from his pocket and covers all the bets. He lifts his dog onto a seat and asks it a question.
"Who was the best goalkeeper the Scotland team ever had?" he asks.
"Ruff!" the dog replies.
"Aw, get tae fuck!" everybody shouts.
The man gets a good hiding for trying to cheat everyone and he and his dog are thrown out onto the street. The man is tending to his cuts and bruises when the dog turns to him.
"I suppose they all think it was Goram!" it says.
Sooperally celebrates winning this year's Britain's Got Talent trophy.
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