BLUE McCOISTER CULT
I'm reading a book at the moment called 'Killer Cults.' It's a bit of a misnomer because not all of the cults are killers. No matter what these cults believe, or who is leading them, they all have a few things in common. Firstly, they are paranoid in the extreme; they believe that the whole world is out to get them and that there is a great conspiracy keeping the wrong people in power. Secondly, they bolster each other with their paranoia and convince each other that they are in the right, no matter what common sense or the real world says. Thirdly, their hatred is usually blamed on the object of their fear and loathing, justifying anything they might say or do. Lastly, Armageddon is coming and the only ones left will be the members of the cult.
The followers of Trigger's Brush FC are showing all the trademark signs of being a cult. In themselves, they've always known this; don't they always say that 'Rangers is more than just a team, it's a way of life'? Now they're getting more and more like Charles Manson's Family or the inhabitants of Jonestown. The big worry is what they're all going to do. Are they going to drink the poisoned Kool-Aid or start indescriminately slaughtering folk?
The paranoia has been in evidence for a while now, but it's getting worse. The campaign for Scottish independence, apparently, is a plot for Catholics to take over the country. Alex Salmond is working to an agenda worked out in the Vatican and is looking to destroy all of Scotland's fine, old, Protestant institutions, especially Ibrox. You think I'm making this up? Go and read some of their blogs! Now somebody else has joined in the plot. There is a rumour going around that Celtic have been guilty of some kind of fiscal misdemeanours, aided and abetted by Glasgow City Council. This is all grist to the mill of the mentality that has always claimed that Glasgow is run by Catholics. Now they have gone further: it seems the whole Labour Party in Scotland is run by Catholics. So let's see if I've got this right: the Vatican is controlling the SNP and the Labour Party in order to destroy Trigger's Brush FC. I doubt even Jim Jones was as paranoid as that!
Of course, it only takes a few of them to put forward an idea and they all follow follow like sheep. They have got each other so utterly convinced with all this 'holding company' nonsense that they have got to the stage now where they believe that Rangers did nothing wrong. It was the holding company that was involved in all the financial chicanery, not Rangers. This leads them directly to the conclusion that, as well as still being Rangers, their team should not have had penalties imposed for going into administration and should still be in the SPL as a full member. This belief helps to shore up their delusions about everybody being out to destroy them.
These mad fairy stories help to give some justification for all their hatred. They claim there was no bigotry in Scotland until the Irish arrived, ignoring the age-old sectarian hatred and discrimination against Scottish Catholics. Celtic fans sing songs about Ireland, which, in their minds, justifies their loathing of Celtic. Some of them even go as far as saying that bigotry had all but disappeared until Neil Lennon arrived! Exactly what Lennon did to stoke up all this bigotry, apart from existing, they omit to explain.
The Trigger's Brush blogs are full of triumphant gloating about the death throes of Hearts. They're desperately hoping that all the other teams will follow them until only Trigger's Brush FC is left. Again, this is just like the cults I've been reading about. The story doing the rounds now, and some of them honestly believe this, is that Peter Lawell engineered all the financial problems at Rangers in order to eliminate the competition! Hearts, and all the other SPL clubs, are dancing on the end of strings being manipulated by Peter Lawell. But the Day of Judgment is at hand and they're all going to die slow, lingering deaths; apart from Trigger's Brush, that is. Mad as bloody hatters the lot of them! I can just see them all, holed up in Larkhall, fighting against the police like another Waco!
Unfortunately, politicians have a tendancy to try to ingratiate themselves with these types of maniacs, so long as there are votes in it. In the 1880s Joseph Chamberlain, who had decided that his imperialist dreams and personal ambition were more important than his erstwhile political ideology, left Gladstone's Liberal party and crossed the House, taking a group of Liberal Unionists with him. The Conservative Party soon became known as The Conservative and Unionist Party, a name which it maintained right up until the 1970s. Thatcher wanted to present her party as modern and forward-looking, so the 'Unionist' bit was dropped. I noticed recently that it has made a comeback. Ostensibly this is because of the possibility of Scotland seceding from the Union but that was never what the 'Unionist' bit was about; it was to do with Ireland. It seems that the Tories are seeking the Orange vote by pandering to the outlandish belief in a papist conspiracy!
So now we know what the speakers at this year's annual Rickets Suffererers Parade will be talking about. Normally they bang on about Antichrists, Whores of Babylon and Protestant Freedoms, while the 'loyal' lie about on the grass, pissed out their nuts and ignoring these calls to arms. I wonder if they'll be more attentive this year if the speakers start tub-thumping about papist conspiracies involving Labour and the SNP, and the evil war against Trigger's Brush FC!
While we're on the subject, the police were out in force at our local Gala Day last weekend, making sure that nobody was drinking in public. Anyone in the park with a bottle or a can of beer or whatnot had it confiscated and received a warning. I wonder if the boys in blue will be as vigilant in Glasgow come the second week in July!
Meanwhile, the Daily Record is salivating over the story that some financial bigwig in London, with an off-the-radar IQ, has invested in Trigger's Brush and intends to put more money in. This reminded me of the last lines of a poem, which I'm sure was written by Jimmy Copeland:
"Aye, yer clever, damn clever
But ye hivnae a clue what yer daein'!"
'It's more than just a team - it's a way of life!'
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