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Monday 26 August 2013

WILL THE REAL ERSATZERS PLEASE STAND UP!

Gary Ralston in the Daily Record was fulsome in his praise for a world-class showing by a certain football team at the weekend. The team scored six goals and kept a clean sheet against apparently top-drawer opposition. Strangely, this match was not shown on MOTD or on any highlights programme devoted to the giants of Europe. So which teams were involved? Ersatz Rangers FC, of course, playing, appropriately enough, Ersatz Airdrie! Have a read here and see how vomit-inducing the DR can be when talking about their favourites.

Not that you'd guess that our media still has this fawning attitude from reading the Ersatzers' blogs. According to them the DR, the BBC, in fact every section of the Scottish media have an agenda of putting the boot into Ersatz FC. How they make this out I don't know. Ralston briefly mentions the two hundred-odd Ersatzers trying to cause trouble at New Broomfield and how the police had to break them up. They were actually in the walkway in front of the stand, letting off smoke bombs and no doubt singing their songs of hate. Amazingly the stewards and police did not break them up until about half-an-hour into the match. Even more amazingly, there was very little mention of it in our media. Imagine what the reaction would have been if that had been the Green Brigade!

With the DR being seen as part of 'The Enemy' it is sticking in a lot of Ersatzers' craw that Jim McColl and his crew seem to be using this rag as their platform of choice. The split right down the support is palpable now, with each side accusing the other of dirty tricks, being money-oriented and not having the club's interests at heart. Amazingly, Bill McMurdo is surprised that death threats have started to be bandied about. Why that should come as a surprise I don't know; that's the usual modus operandi of the supporters of Team Ibrox. What this means for the public at large is that it would be unwise to buy shares in the proposed sell-off of Royal Mail until we see how this all pans out.

But wait! Who's that on the horizon, riding to the rescue? Why it's Jack Irvine and his Media House posse! Just days after Jabba telling everybody that Jack Irvine and Media House did not speak for Ersatz FC,  it turns out that they do after all! And Irvine has decided to come out with all guns blazing, if you'll pardon me for beating this metaphor to death! He says in a statement about McColl etc:

  "I believe they have now stepped out of their comfort zones and are going to find that the everyday rules of business do not apply in the world of football and the media scrutiny they now face is like nothing they will ever have known in their professional lives"

I don't know about you, but that sounds remarkably like a threat to me. It seems like Irvine is ready to get down and dirty and indulge in the kind of smear and inuendo that has recently been the preserve of the 'Better Together' campaign. Whatever he plans to do it seems as if the battle lines are drawn. The AGM should be interesting, although many want to wait and see what the audited accounts say before deciding on which side to be. Audited accounts? At Ibrox? They might have a long wait!

Meanwhile, the Frankenstein's monster that calls itself Ian Black was given a standing ovation at New Broomfield; not so much for his contribution to the match as to show support for him when the football authorities are 'pickin' oan 'im.' Apparently Black played well in this game, prompting Gary Ralston, and others, to claim that Ersatz FC must be odds-on to win Division 1. Ah, now it all becomes clear! Black is going to knock his pan in until Ersatz FC are the long odds-on favourites. Imagine the odds he'll then get if he backs them to lose the league!


 
'Er...any chance ye could get sumdy else tae deliver this parcel tae Ibrox?'



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