And so Celtic march on to a third successive title, which, of course, prompts the Bisto Kids to come out with their 'tainted title' pish. Even the Daily Record couldn't resist a little dig, saying that Celtic's title win was "...inevitable, with traditional rivals Rangers still battling back to the top flight following their descent into administration and then liquidation." By God, you can almost hear the teeth gnashing and see the tears of anger and frustration coming through every word of that!
No competition? Aberdeen, Dundee Utd and Motherwell are progressing apace and, given the financial constraints facing Scottish football, are going to get closer and closer to Celtic. In fact, I expect a serious challenge next season from both Aberdeen and Dundee Utd. The DR is desperately still trying to peddle the myth that Scottish football 'needs Rangers.' The only answer to that is straight from Chewing the Fat: Naw it disnae!
The only tainted titles around are the two-in-a-row won by Bisto. For one thing they shouldn't even be in the league and can only win by fielding expensive professionals against postmen, social workers and teachers. Even then they've relied on the referee for help in practically every game. You can't get much more tainted than that!
So our football league has every chance to settle down to what it should be. This is a small country and there's no need for splashing out on big-money foreigners to win domestic competitions. We should end up the way it was in the pre-Murray days, with every team in the top flight having the same chance at glory.
But wait, there's always somebody that has to spoil everything. I remember once in a P4 class I had, all the boys were daft on collecting WWF cards. They used to get a packet or two at the weekend and swap with each other to try and build up the whole set. It was a keen competition to see who could get there first. And then somebody had to ruin it all. One monday morning one boy, who up to then had had no interest in collecting the cards, turned up with a plastic presentation case containing the full set of WWF cards and some extras that were not even in the normal collection. He smugly announced that he had won. His mother had taken him out on the Saturday and bought him the collection case as soon as he saw it. As one boy said to him, what was the point? He'd put no effort into it and had just spoiled everybody's fun. Although I had to remain neutral, I couldn't help but secretly agree.
This is the scenario that the Bisto Kids want. For all they go on about 'competitive leagues' it's the last thing they desire. Just as happened under Murray they want to buy their way to the top. They're fawning all over King with his promises of massive cash injections. Not that it's going to happen; why would the current shareholders want to dilute their stake by issuing more shares just to give Sooperally more money? And for all King's bluster he hasn't shown one penny of his own cash yet, preferring to hide behind the season-ticket money of the gullible. The question has to be asked: has he actually got that much money left?
Keith Jackson certainly seems to thinks so and is beating the drum for the SA crook at every opportunity. The fact that many Bisto Kids are swallowing this whole shows how few brain cells they are carrying among them. Jackson is the man, remember, who told us that Craig Whyte had 'wealth off the radar'! Is it possible for folk to be really that gullible? I suppose desperation clouds the memory.
McMurdo is dead against King but even he is drawn to the spend spend spend mentality. He wants a 'rainmaker' that is going to bring loads of investment into Ibrox. Unfortunately, Bisto is a tainted brand. Nobody wants to do big deals with them and all Green's talk of major sponsorships and partnerships was just that: talk. Nothing really came of these imagined deals. The fact that Rangers went into liquidation and then came back claiming to be the same club will worry lots of potential business partners; do they really want to be associated with such callous disregard for other companies and other people?
McMurdo talks of retail opportunities, saying, "Rangers (sic) is a marketer’s dream playground". Quite how he makes that one out I don't know. There's a limit to how much cash supporters are going to fork out for framed blades of Ibrox grass or signed photos of Tore Andre Flo, so where else do they market these items? The 'worldwide Rangers support' is a myth, as has been shown time and again. So all they can do is target the existing market with new products. Rangers Blue Cheese anyone? Rangers Orange Juice? Rangers Jaffa Cakes? Kronenberg 1690? Derry Ice Cream? I'm sure you can think of others. God, that sounds like a Tam Cowan competition.
Which leads nicely onto the news that Tam Cowan is moving to pastures new. No mention at all of what he's going to do next in his final column. I asked on the online forum if he was perhaps taking up the old Jabba post at Ibrox. Now there's an idea. He could be head of communications and marketing! Just think of all those reviews of the new food products on the Bisto website. "This is not just food...this is Billy Boy food!" And he might even get to talk about the 'fitbaaaah' now and again.
There is a laughable piece on the Vanguard Bears website, where they're appealing for unity among the Bisto support. All this internecine feuding is apparently allowing their 'enemies' free rein. "On one side we have a gutless board who has stood by and allowed other clubs' officials, bitter and twisted politicians and the Rangers-hating media to besmirch our fans and smear the great name of our Club at every opportunity." Eh? When did all this happen? I must have been sleeping at the time. They call on everybody to remember that legendary oar-weilder and shipyard recruitment officer, Bill Struth to bring them all back together.
They also bleat that "our culture is being marginalised a little more each and every day". What 'culture' would that be? The hatred of Irish people and Catholics? The banging of drums and blowing of flutes to demonstrate their feelings of superiority? Some elements of 'culture,' like slavery, arranged child marriages, female genital mutilation and bigotry deserve to be marginalised and eradicated altogether. Try telling them that, though!
There we go and not once did I say that Sandy Easdale is a gangster. Damn!
"Hello playmates! It's your old pal, Big-Hearted Bill Struth here. Now, you shouldn't be fighting with each other. No. You should be like healthy, grown-up, busy, busy bees and get stuck into all our enemies. Remember, playmates, Hullo Hullo, we are the Billy Bees. Ayyyythenkyow!"
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