SMELLS LIKE GREEN SPIRIT

More developments in the 'Loan Rangers (sic)' saga. Some altruistic Bisto Kid has offered to hand over £1m to Bisto FC so that they can weasel out of the deal with Laxey. The Bisto Board appear to have decided to accept this kind offer. Kingsnorth, The Laxative himself, has given no comment about it. Still, he can afford to bide his time; Bisto's not out of the woods yet, not by a long way.

Like all The Peeppil, this new lender's altruism doesn't quite extend as far as his wallet. He has kindly agreed to accept only £75,000 in interest instead of the £150,000 The Laxative was charging. He has also generously offered to take his payment in the form of shares; penny-a-share, no doubt.

And what of the Krays' loan? Theirs is, supposedly, interest-free but, and it's a big but, is secured against Edmiston House and the Albion Car Park. Ronnie and Reggie seem to be doing a lot with very little shares; they are, of course still using the proxy of Margarita, Blue Pitch and one Charles Green Esq. The latter is an assumption but, given that there has been no word at all of the Krays actually buying Green's shares, it's a pretty logical assumption. It also has to be asked where the Krays got the money to lend. Could it be that that Charlie Boy is stumping up the cash, using the change from his chateau purchase? It certainly seems likely.

It also has to be said that this new 'act-of-kindness' loan seems to have been accepted pretty easily. Either The Laxative is biding his time, which he can afford to do, or some sort of master plan is coming to fruition. It could be that Green is pulling all the strings here, along with the shady investors that he brought in in the first place. Whatever's going on you can bet that it's all cloak-and-dagger stuff as usual; it's the Ibrox way!

Meanwhile, the Bisto Kids are a bit upset at the news of Peter Lawwell being elected to the European Clubs' Association Board. One of McMurdo's disciples decided to send a long, rambling e-mail to the ECA, through its website, full of all the usual guff; supporting terrorists, dodgy land deals...blah blah blah...etc etc etc. He won't be the only one to do this, of course. Do they honestly think the European football authorities will cave in just because they say so? They're so used to getting their own way in Scotland, through rolled-up trouser legs, threats and intimidation and a compliant media, that they think they can do the same in Europe. They'll get short shrift, however, and will soon be complaining of 'Catholic conspiracies.'

The main gist of this clown's complaint is that Celtic is 'under investigation in the UK and in Europe.' This is wishful thinking. The European Commission is simply responding to a complaint, which they are duty-bound to do; they are not investigating anyone. As to the UK, the Derry Dinosaur Jockey has already been told by the Chancellor of The Exchequor that it is none of the Government's business. The only 'investigation' going on is by a sad, obsessed wee man in Belfast. Is the ECA supposed to be concerned about that? I think they'll see the whole thing for what it is: petty jealousy and attempts at deflection.

Staying with McMurdo, they're also incensed by the complaint made by Celtic about the Scottish Government's laws on sectarianism in football grounds. Cue all the pish about 'support for terrorists' 'offensive singing' etc. Strangely, you don't hear anyone else being offended, apart from the dinosaur jockeys in Ulster. Perhaps, before they start pointing fingers the Bisto Kids should remember what the police said about why they never arrested any of the choristers at Ibrox: there were too many of them. It's easier to target a minority at Celtic Park, singing songs that only upset the Sevilles, than it is to tackle tens of thousands belting out anti-Catholic and anti-Irish bile. And that's a big difference as well; you don't hear songs about killing Protestants or wanting to wipe out a race of people at Celtic Park!

One McMurdo disciple decides to tell us all that if the IRA were at war then they should have worn uniforms like the glorious British army did in 'real' wars. I take it that includes when they went round in mufti murdering innocent civilians in Ireland? As to bombing at a distance - isn't that what happened to Dresden? And what about the current use of drones in the Middle East? Talk about hypocrisy! You'd need as many fingers as...well, a thing with lots of hands...to count how many nations and peoples that Britain has had to apologise to for past misdemeanours; that includes the Queen offering an official apology to Ireland. So, much though I deplore terrorism, there's no excuse in pointing fingers at certain sides just because you don't agree with them politically. The British Government itself has used, and is still using, terrorist tactics.

McMurdo himself comes out with a cracker: "I have to say that Rangers fans have responded to this in terms of self-policing far more than Celtic fans." Is he joking? So all the singing at Berwick never happened? The disgusting mass choirs even after Rangers went into administration are to be forgotten as well, it seems.

He also says, "Regardless of the legalities, decent people in Scotland don’t want an IRA love-in inside or outside any football ground." To be honest, I think most decent people are disgusted about the long-term sectarian signing policy of Rangers, the old club's and the new club's intricate ties with the Orange Order and Ulster Loyalist extremists and the prejudiced hatred of Catholics and the Irish constantly shown by folk like McMurdo!

Finally, my new book, Torrent, is selling like hot cakes; well, the free copies are anyway! I've already given away a grand total of...er...two. Well, you've got to start somewhere! Anybody else interested then let me know. Giving free Kindle copies is in my best interests as well: if I can get plenty of folk to give good reviews then other people might want to buy it! That's always assuming, of course, that folk actually enjoy my book and don't think it's a load of Craig Whyte!

"Naw, what the judge really said wiz that Ah wiz a 'guid and blameless trier.' So geez yer money!"

ROLL OF DISHONOUR

Read the roll of honour for Govan's greatest sons
They made a dash and grabbed the cash and swindled all the huns,
And The People they are all distraught, the turmoil isn't o'er
The crooks and swindlers will not leave till they have squeezed out more.

In that asbestos-riddled boardroom the crooks and swindlers met
Working out the greatest sum of cash that they could get,
And just to make sure that they won right to the max
They refused to pay a penny out, even for their tax.

First of all was Murray, a king upon a throne
Who splashed the tenners round, though not a penny was his own.
His plans they never came to aught, it was all just a scam
And he kept the papers quiet with judicious gifts of lamb.

Next came Craigie Whyte, who bought the Rangers for a pound
With the help of Sooperally he ran the club into the ground.
The People rallied round him, they said, 'In Whyte we trust,'
Then before they'd time to get their breath the Rangers had gone bust!

On the third day they rose again by Green's almighty hand
While The People, as per usual, put their heads straight in the sand.
With cups of tea and bigotry he got the fans onside.
But yet again the Silly Billies were taken for a ride.

Just like David Murray, he led them all a merry dance.
But instead of castles in the sky, he purchased one in France.
And now the vultures gather round to pick at the remains,
With gangsters, crooks and spivs galore aboard the gravy train.

So gather round ye mugs and fools and give of your hard-earned
It seems no matter what occurs you never, ever learn.
Your new club it is doomed and, although it makes you sick,
Remember that your grandchildren will all support the 'Tic!


P.S. I had to go to Youtube to listen to the Roll of Honour to see if this scanned properly as I've never heard the song before. I can, however, easily give you a word-perfect and tune-perfect rendition of the Billy Boys. Does that not tell you something?