THE BLYTHSWOOD BRASSERIE

I don't know what Blythswood Square smelled like back in its heyday as a red-light district but there's certainly a distinctive smell about the place now. Rather than being the recipient, Traynor is now dishing up lamb of his own, like some school-dinner wummin. And, by God, the agnivores in the press are consuming it by the ton. It's just like the old days, with the fawning over everything Sevco. Now it's Motherwell that's getting it in the neck.

It seems as if it's perfectly fair for Sevco to only hand over 900-odd tickets for Ibrox but it's the crime of the century for Motherwell to reciprocate. We've not heard one word about Sevco's intimidatory tactics, nor the disgusting, cheating display of both crowd and club against Hibs. Instead, all we're hearing about is the embarrassment of empty seats at Fir Park. So Motherwell have to have hardly any supporters at Ibrox but The Peeppul are supposed to get as many tickets as they want for Fir Park! The hypocrisy is staggering! Stuart McCall is quoted as saying, "from a bigger perspective, it was disappointing to see a lot of empty seats at Easter Road and it will be disappointing to see it at Fir Park." How the hell is he allowed to get away with this? Don't answer that; we already know.

Hilariously, the Record tries to make out that McCall will be torn in two when it comes to facing Motherwell. Motherwell under his watch was continually lying down to Rangers and the same happened the last time they met Sevco, shamefully, in the League Cup in 2012. This however, is not just down to McCall; the record of Motherwell against the oldco makes for embarrassing reading. Hopefully this mindset has disappeared from Fir Park but, as for McCall, he won't be torn at all; his loyalties have always lain with whatever club's playing out of Ibrox.

If Mothewell refuse to lie down (and I certainly can't see Scott McDonald lying down) we can expect to see the same disgraceful behaviour tonight that we saw against Hibs. And, once again, the stewards and police will stand by and let it happen. And, once again, our authorities will not do a thing about it.

Which, of course, leads me on to yesterday's big news about all those folk at FIFA being arrested. Nobody can argue that they didn't have it coming; the smell of corruption has been drifting all round the globe for years. Everybody sees it as good news, including, with their usual hypocrisy, the Daily Record. They reported fully on what was happening throughout the day and the mealy-mouthed opinions offered would make you sick to your stomach.

The Director of the FBI, James Comey, had this to say:

"A lot of these developing countries develop on the money they get from FIFA at grassroots level. The bribes come out of and reduce this money, which would otherwise fund soccer balls and pitches for kids."

Without even a hint of irony, the guys at the DR say, "Spot on James Comey. That's the crime that shouldn't be forgotten."

What about the stealing of money from the state; money that could have gone towards more nurses, more teachers, more doctors? And all just so one team could rack up nine titles in a row and desperately try to make a name for itself in Europe. Isn't that a 'crime that shouldn't be forgotten'? And while Sepp Blatter hasn't been arrested yet, the DR boys make it clear that they believe he should be. Any corruption charges should involve the top man and the DR implies strongly that Blatter is king of the kick-backs. So what about the esteemed president of our own football association? Shouldn't we be looking into his EBT and his involvement in the scandal that was Rangers? I won't hold my breath.

The parallels between the FIFA situation and the situation in our own country with regards to Rangers/Sevco are infinite. There are even guys in Zurich shaking bedsheets about - though they look a damn sight cleaner than any that we ever saw at Ibrox!

The DR boys also come out with this one:

"For years people have implored sponsors to do what is right and walk away from their ties with FIFA. Only now, with world football's governing body not just in a swirl of corruption controversy but having been swept through by the tornado of American justice, might we see that attitude begin to change."

Aha! So that's why it's taken ages for the SPFL to get a sponsor. No business wants to be associated with a body 'in a swirl of corruption controversy'. They still don't. That's why our football authority has settled for a cheap deal with a bookies!

Stewart Regan, meanwhile, has commented on the situation, saying that the SFA will vote for anybody that promises to remove the stuff on the FIFA website about Rangers dying in 2012.

Two quick updates on e-mails I have and haven't received. Firstly, I got an e-mail the other day from Mike Small at Bella Caledonia. It seems he's finally realised that he doesn't have my address. He now has it so we'll see how long it takes for me to get my books back. Secondly, I haven't heard anything further from 'Nil By Mouth' so I take it the guy's given up. It's weird how when they can't sustain an argument this sort just disappears.

On pretty much the same subject, I saw a report today about a Catholic church in Livingston being covered in anti-Catholic graffiti and various UDA slogans and the like. Obviously it's some of The Peeppul that are responsible for this. Have you ever heard of this kind of thing happening to a Protestant church in Scotland? I haven't. Actually, I haven't heard of this kind of thing happening before to a Catholic church either. Considering the way The Peeppul act and everything they get away with, it's surprising that this hasn't happened before now. And yet, 'Nil By Mouth' would have us believe that 'both sides are as bad as each other'. What a load of pish!

If you read this story you'll see that there's a lucrative career path open to Sooperally once the gardening gig's over. All he needs to do is persuade Sue Barker to... Actually, let's leave it there. It's not an image we particularly want to dwell on!

"Okay! Okay! We give in. It's the same club!"