JABBA THE AGNIVORE

FIGHTING, FAWNING AND FORGIVING

 

Laydeeeeez an' Jennulmeeeeen! In the Blue Corner - The Pish-Stained Alky, Loony Leggat! And in the...er...Blue Corner - Battling Bill McMurdo!

It seems our favourite bloggers can't make up their minds what, or, for that matter, who is best for their club. Old Bill still has his colours nailed firmly to the mast of Charles Green. Malcolm Murray again gets it in the neck. Loony Leggat, on the other hand, is putting his shirt on Malcolm Murray coming good and has plenty to say about Green's 'little friend' Ahmad. He uses the exact same epithets to describe Ahmad as he previously used to describe Whyte and which he usually employs to describe Graham Spiers. How the hell this guy was ever employed as a journalist is beyond me!

The Daily Record reports about somebody releasing recordings of board meetings onto the internet. The most interesting part of this was that, apparently, all the NEDS are going to be cleared out of Ibrox. Christ, they'll need an army to do that!

Sticking with the Daily Record, Keith Jackson does his usual sucking-up to Trigger's Brush FC. In an article about the troubles at Tynecastle he gives us the usual line about Trigger's Brush FC being harshly treated. He calls Green's team ending up in the Third Division 'the worst piece of decision making since a peckish Luis Saurez dipped his own arm in barbecue sauce.' He feels the need to enlighten us that Suarez did no such thing, as if we're all stupid. But then, his target audience is the support of Trigger's Brush FC!

He continues: 'The good news is that this time round (ie with Hearts), it will be left to the board to decide as opposed to last year when it was passed back to the clubs to take a vote on whether or not Charles Green’s Newco should be invited straight back into the SPL.'

How can a Newco be invited 'back' into a league of which it has never been a member? He's stretching the Trigger's Brush FC doublethink a bit far there! But wait! What's this? He is actually blaming somebody other than the SPL and its member clubs for what happened!

'Indeed, Doncaster might even have believed right up until the 11th hour that as many as eight clubs were of a mind to do the right thing, on a commercial basis at least.
But that support collapsed spectacularly when Green turned up at Hampden to address them and opened his mouth for the first time. Ultimately his arrogance and bombast cost Rangers their place in the top division.'

Of course, given that Green is under a cloud at the moment then his statement is not as brave as it seems! And Green was only continuing the argument that had been coming from Rangers and its supporters long before administration. Apparently, Green and Malcolm Murray turned up at the meeting armed with prospectuses, emblazoned with the words, 'WE ARE RANGERS.' It was like a challenge; how dare anyone have the gall to even question that the should be allowed into the SPL! This was the argument all along; We arra peeppul! It was this arrogance, among those involved at Ibrox and the support, that put everyone's backs up.

Jackson goes on to say that today's decision about Hearts 'will not be based on common sense, it will be governed entirely by the rule book.' Common sense? In other words, the rule book should be torn up and Hearts should stay in the SPL no matter what, as well as Trigger's Brush FC being invited in as well.

This is the type of argument with which erstwhile readers and listeners of Big Jabba will be familiar. Clubs, especially Rangers and its bastard offspring, Trigger's Brush FC, should not be punished for their profligacy. No. Everyone should be doing their damnedest to make sure they stay in the top tier so their supporters bring money into other clubs. In other words, subsidise clubs that otherwise might struggle or even go to the wall. Subsidies are anathema to the self-styled Thatcherites that make up the support of Trigger's Brush FC. They would have been willing, however, to make an exception in this case. Such altruism! Such philanthropy!

Finally, something that should not be related to football but, sadly, is. There was a story in both The Sun and the Daily Record the other day, and no doubt in other newspapers as well, about a guy working as the Health and Safety officer on a building site. He used to be connected with UVF terrorists and was arrested in 2002 trying to smuggle explosives to Northern Ireland. He served time in prison for this crime.

Now, the automatic reaction to this would be 'Bastard! How dare he! And how dare anybody employ him!' The fact has to be faced, however, that he did his time and surely deserves to prove that he is rehabilitated. The Sun says that he was forced to resign after 'details of his sickening past were revealed to his workmates.' It doesn't say who revealed these details but I would assume it was the honourable members of our Fourth Estate.

So what's my problem with this? Well, while in prison it is normal for prisoners to have sessions to face up to the reasons for their criminal activities, while preparing to lead a normal life on the outside. I could be wrong, but wasn't this guy just trying to get on with his life, doing a job he was obviously qualified to do?

In the current climate there are many on the internet that talk of the 'mhedia,' trying to convince each other that there is a huge conspiracy in the Scottish media against their team. It does not take a huge leap to then believe that said conspiracy is Catholic-led and is being perpetrated by supporters of Irish republicanism. Leggat has explicitly stated this on a few occasions and I've seen such views being expressed on Bill McMurdo's blog. (Though not by the man himself, I hasten to add.) It does not take a genius to guess which football team this Health and Safety guy supports, so his mind will already be attuned to an attitude of victimhood. What is he going to do now? Presumably he will just sink back into the hatred and bigotry that led him into terrorism in the first place, blaming the 'mhedia' for losing him his job!

The peace process in Northern Ireland is a difficult one, with all those involved trying to bury the past and move forward into a shared future. What chance do they have if we, in Scotland, are going to rake up the past in this manner?

'Are you Ahmad?'

'Am I Ahmad? I'm a-fuckin' a-blazin'! Wait till Ah get ma hauns oan that pish-stained alky!'