JABBA THE AGNIVORE

MEN OF THE YEAR

I wonder if anyone else can cast their mind back to 1997. Rangers won their 9 in a row and the papers were full of what a genius Walter Smith was and how they were going to dominate Scottish football for many years to come. Success in Europe had so far eluded them but it was only a matter of time. After all, Rangers had a team of world-beaters and nothing was going to stand in their way! Murray was king and the press was in the business of spreading his message to the plebs.

Among all the triumphalism and sycophancy a spanner was thrown into the works by the Scottish PFA; Paolo Di Cannio was voted Player of The Year. Understandably, this caused a furore. How dare they choose a player from the second-placed team! Rangers had just won their ninth title in a row; surely the players deserved credit? The general consensus among Rangers fans was, 'It shooda been Bry-in Low-drup!'

There were dark hints in the papers that maybe all was not right with the vote. After all, what had Di Cannio achieved? Justice was done when the Football Writers Association chose Laudrup as their Player of The Year. 

Fast-forward to the season 2010-2011. This was the year in which Neil Lennon and his family had to be put under police protection due to the serious threats against his life. Such pressure was bound to take its toll on the man and no doubt spilled over into the team. That Celtic were pipped at the post for the SPL championship showed remarkable tenacity and even courage. Given everything that Neil Lennon had been through he was surely Scottish manager of the year for coming so close to winning the SPL? Perversely, John McGlynn, manager of Raith Rovers was chosen instead.

Of course, nobody in the press raised any voice in protest at this turn of events, unlike in 1997! If anything there was a feeling, tacitly expressed, that it should have been Walter Smith, although none of them were bold enough to say this explicitly. The Football Writers Association then inexplicably chose Mixu Paateleinen!

All of which puts Neil Lennon's current complaints in a new light. When Rangers players are snubbed then it's a major injustice, if not a downright conspiracy, whereas it's only right when Celtic players are snubbed! Rangers bloggers point out that Celtic easily won the SPL due to the expensive players they have in their squad; no plaudits, therefore, are deserved. Tam Cowan makes the same point in his Saturday column in the Daily Record. By that token, then, I take it they'll be recommending that nobody chooses David Templeton or Lee Wallace as SFL Player of the Year!

It is interesting to contrast the way in which Neil Lennon and Charles Green have been treated by the press. Lennon questions why none of his players have been nominated and is vilified for overreacting and being paranoid. Despite Loony Leggat, Bill McMurdo and even the official 'Rangers' website maintaining that Green has been the victim of a concerted press campaign, nothing could be further from the truth. No matter what insane ramblings he has come out with he is praised for 'fighting his corner' against his imagined enemies. 'Love him or loathe him,' every sports writer begins, before applauding his outspokenness and readiness to take on everybody. It's hardly their fault that he has chosen to make a complete arse of himself!

With the double standards evident in our press I wouldn't be at all surprised if the Football Writers Association chooses Sooperally as Manager of The Year for winning Division Three 'despite all he's been through'!

Meanwhile the civil war at Trigger's Brush FC continues unabated. Green's 'little friend' has been shown the door over allegations about posting pro-Green propaganda on a website using a pseudonym. No doubt he and Green will be plotting their next move, while Green faces the scrutiny of the Serious Fraud Office. Will there still be a Trigger's Brush FC this time next year? 

And, lastly, perhaps somebody could help me by answering a question. Where, in Scotland, is Tenman? I ask this because all the teams in Division Three seem to come from there. Every time this season that I have read about a Trigger's Brush FC victory they have been playing against Tenman Albion, Tenman Queens, Tenman Athletic or Tenman City. Where is this place Tenman? Is it a town, a district or a region? I don't seem to be able to locate it on any map!

Charles Green introduces his new 'Little Friend.'