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Wednesday 30 October 2013

MERLIN MADNESS

I'm grateful to Shaun, and others, for spreading the word about my blog and getting me a lot more hits than before. Somebody said that they enjoyed my blog because it was funny, but I've discovered something a lot funnier than anything I could dream up. It was on Auld Merlin's website on Tuesday. He was talking about some programme on the telly and finished up with this classic statement:

'The enemy is hate.
Hatred of other people for their skin colour, religious beliefs or political convictions is the real enemy because such hate dehumanises us. Hating concepts, systems, institutions and even religions because we disagree with them may be acceptable and even admirable but hating people for their adherence to such things is where the line is crossed.
Hate is the petrol which we throw on the fires of bigotry and intolerance.'

Very commendable, but look at at the posts he allows underneath
it:

'I firmly believe that Scotland, (the indigenous Scots) have no or limited hatred. We have our history, we've fought our wars in a straightforward, nonterrorist, honourable fashion - even our reformation was nonviolent - but resolute.
These timmigrants have brought this hatred to our shores - I say again, our forefathers made a serious mistake.'

'hypocrisy , lying , cheating , backstabbing , unfaithfulness , these are the criteria you need to be an M.P.  surely you don't seriously
want BILL to be one of those ! and anyway most of the above are tim charectaristics (sic).'

'A bigger threat to society imo is the insidious infiltration of the false faith and their doctrine within positions of power.
Hate begets more hate and corrupts the soul. unfortunately there are corrupted minds amongst all societies Hopefully humanity will persevere.
KTF'

No comment from me is necessary. The above quotes speak for themselves.


Meanwhile we've found out that clearing The Messiah to become chairman of Bisto FC is the job of the Ibrox NOMAD. Considering that Bisto has changed their NOMAD a few times over the past year then if the current one doesn't play ball then, no doubt, they'll be shown the door as well. Who pays their wages? Bisto FC. Talk about a conflict of interest!
The SFA might have a harder job on their hands since their own rules make it clear that The Messiah is not a fit and proper person. It would be interesting to be a fly on the wall at the meeting to decide how they're going to spin it.

"Right, how ur wae gonny dae this? Ur wae gonny use the 'New company/same club' shite?"
"What aboot this wan: King wiz a director-y the club, no' the company. Since it wiz the company that went bust then he wisnae involved in it."
"No' bad, but is that no' gonny cause problems? Wur sayin' the noo that the club wiz an asset, run bay the company, so how could he bay a director-y the club an' no' the company?"
"An' if he wiz a director-y the club, an' the club's still the same club, then that means that he's been a director-y the club aw this time!"
"An' what aboot aw the business in South Africa?"
"That's easy. Wull jist make oot that it wiz racism against 'im because ay's white! Ye know what they darkies ur like; racist bastards!"
"Back tae the club bit, what aboot this: the name-y the company wiz chinged jist before liquidation tae Rangers 2012, so he wisnae a director-y the company that wiz liquidated!"
"That's a good idea but chinging a company's name disnae chinge the actual company. If it did then they could've jist chinged the name an' no' bothered aboot liquidation. So what kin wae dae?'
"Aw, fuckit! Jist rubber stamp it an' wull worry aboot it later. It worked wae kiddin' oan that Rangers still exist, dintit?"

Sooperally, meanwhile, is all excited about reaching his first-ever cup final. If they win the Ramsden's Cup do they actually get a cup or do they get three brass balls to hang outside Ibrox? Still, 'onwards and upwards' as the Bisto Kids keep saying!

Alex Ferguson was in Glasgow flogging the petulant greetin' he calls an autobiography. Apparently he said that even though Govan has changed you can still recognise it because there's a 'halo over it.' The poor auld bugger doesn't realise that it's not a halo; it's a huge ring of asbestos dust rising from Ibrox.

Finally, you've got to laugh at the desperation of the Bisto Kids in their point-scoring exercises. Their latest one is that Celtic supporters will be uspet at the Union Flag flying at Celtic Park during the Commonwealth Games. They're painting pictures of red, white and blue bunting everywhere, sending the Celtic fans into apoplexy. They seem to forget, however, that Celtic doesn't bother about things like that. In 1953 when the current Queen was crowned, there was a competition amongst all the teams in Britain for the Coronation Cup. Celtic had no qualms about taking part in said competition, even though it was to celebrate Auld Lizzie's coronation. Nor did the fans have any qualms about turning up to the games. I wasn't born yet at the time but I must have read it somewhere and forgotten; who was it that won that competition?

 



'Christ! Ah hope Ah kin haud this shite in tae half-time!'


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