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Monday 8 September 2014

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED, I TELL YOU!

Keith Jackson, in typical Daily Record fashion, tells us that if Bisto FC goes, which looks more and more likely, the rest of Scottish football will follow. Scotland needs the 'Old Firm', bums on seat, television money, blah, blah, blah. Strangely the same apocalyptic visions were never mentioned in 1994; there was nothing said then about needing the Old Firm, eh? All we got was pictures of hearses outside Celtic Park. And what Jackson calls 'glee' and 'blood lust' the rest of Scotland called justice and making sure that the rules applied equally to EVERY team. 

McMurdo, meanwhile, gave his blog over to one of his disciples yesterday. The post was an impassioned plea for some billionaire to come to the rescue. The likely candidate is Mike Ashley, who is being feted by the Merlinites in exactly the same way they fawned over Craig Whyte. And we all know how well that turned out! But why do they need a billionaire? Simple. Because 'We are Rangers (sic)', 'We are The People' and 'We need to get back to where we belong'. There was only one dissenting voice:

"What’s wrong with both Celtic & Rangers being forced to live within their means? IE monies generated from their own fanbase and activities. Is it not the need for CL monies and egomaniac chairmen that has brought us to the brink? us being Scottish Football.
We SF need to accept our real level which is feeders to the EPL and make the best of it maybe at some point we will be adult enough to look in the mirror an see where the blame actually lies."


And therein lies the problem. Celtic and every other club are cutting back to live within their means; 'downsizing' as McMurdo calls it. Meanwhile, Bisto FC has learned nothing from what happened to the old club and is still spending what it can't possibly afford. But, then, it's hardly the current occupiers of the Blue Room that are at fault. The die was cast as soon as Charlie declared that his new club was 'Still Rangers'. Banging on about TUPE laws meant that he had to honour the previous contracts of Sooperally and the rest. Meanwhile The Peeppul themselves clamoured for a straight run up the leagues and were happy to see millions squandered to achieve it. Now, of course, they're back to Square One and 'up to their knees' in shite!

Instead of realising that it's their own fault for demanding a quick rise up to 'where they belong', they're desperately looking for other scapegoats. It's the fault of the board, of Graham Wallace and, of course, all those evil 'Ranynjurz Haturz'! McMurdo relates a story about the SFA blocking a plan by Ashley to provide cash as long as austerity measures were introduced. I can't say I've heard about that and I'm damn sure if it were true then the Daily Record would have been all over it! So it's the fault of the Peter Lawwell-controlled SFA that Bisto FC is going to the wall! I think we've been here before.

While McMurdo and his acolytes see Ashley as the only solution, they're worried about the board of Sports Direct; or, more specifically, one particular member of that board. That individual is one Charles McCreevy, an Irish politician, who has served in high office both in the Dáil and in Europe. Obviously this makes him suspect as far as The Peeppul are concerned. They see the likes of Gregory Campbell do nothing but try to make trouble for Celtic at Westminster, while his fellow DUP members attempt the same in Europe, and assume that Irish politicians will be as petty and vindictive as these sad bigots. Happily for them, it appears that McCreevy is standing down from the Sports Direct board. He probably doesn't want to be associated with the mess at Ibrox!

This desperate deflection by transferring their own behaviour patters onto others is par for the course among The Peeppul. I always love how they say that Celtic is hated throughout Europe. They never manage to say, however, what they base this opinion on; although I've a good idea. When you go abroad to European resorts they'll do anything to pull the punters in. I remember one pub in Spain with a Union Flag flying outside it, called the 'Robin Hood Bar'. At the end of the week all the English were disappearing and the Spanish were arriving. The frontage of this bar changed overnight. The flag vanished and a sign with a Spanish name appeared. One of the locals told me that the pub changed its name, facade and decor four times during the holiday season, depending on where the majority of the tourists were going to come from.

In Alvor, on the Algarve, there are numerous 'Irish' pubs inviting you to come in for the 'craic'. Basically, being an Irish pub involves installing a couple of tricolour flags and a Guinness tap. Sometimes they'll hire somebody with a guitar to belt out Irish ballads with a few Celtic songs thrown in. There was one called 'Paddy's Bar' where 'Paddy' turned out to be a huge local guy, who would join in all the Celtic songs that he'd obviously learned phonetically. We only went a couple of times, getting fed up hearing the same songs over and over. Some Irish folk we met couldn't stand it either; especially 'Paddy' constantly telling them how he loved the Irish and Celtic, and hated the English and Rangers. Nobody took him seriously, and considered him nothing more than an arsehole.

We once went to Benidorm, where the same kinds of pub are in evidence and there were a few Union-Flag-bedecked ones with some Rangers crests painted around the door. Now, you can just imagine Domingo behind the bar telling them all how he hates Celtic and loves Rangers. The other barmen, and the manager will say the same thing, adding that their friends all hate Celtic as well. Like all good businessmen, they'd be willing to curse their own family just as long as the punters kept coming and knocking back the pints!

Of course, being as thick as they are, The Peeppul will take all this at face value. And so they can confidently assert that Celtic are hated throughout Europe, conveniently ignoring the fact that many European teams, and English ones for that matter, choose to play Celtic when it comes to charity matches and testimonials. As usual, The Peeppul live in their own, wee world.

I see on the DR forums that some of them are still insisting that their team is 'Stull Raynjurz'. As usual, they point to the 'authorities' that supposedly believe the same; e.g. the SPFL, the SFA, the ECA etc. I had a thought the other day, however, while reading McMurdo's blog. Every eminent, reputable and respectable archaeologist, historian, Biblical scholar, theologian and social historian maintains that British Israelism is nothing more than a pile of shite. Not one of these scholars has anything to gain by saying this. The SPFL and the SFA, on the other hand, are driven by pound signs and are attempting to keep The Peeppul onside., while the ECA just goes along with whatever the national football associations and leagues say. Now, which 'authorities' would you say are more trustworthy?

Mr. Cut-and-Paste on McMurdo's blog treats us to various stories about how detestable those campaigning for YES are. While NO campaigners go around beating people up and kicking women in the stomach, those frenzied YESSERS are ripping down posters, threw an egg at Jim Murphy and are - gasp! - calling people names! No wonder they're being compared to the Nazis, eh? And Auld Cut-and-Paste shocks The Peeppul even more with the news of an English couple, who have been told to - I can hardly bring myself to say it - 'Go home!' What is the world coming to?

This English couple have been living here for years and are appalled by this racism; obviously The Peeppul are as well. Strangely, though, when the same Peeppul are telling me to 'Go home', even though I've lived here my whole life, as has my father, it doesn't count as racism, or any other kind of -ism for that matter. So one English couple are told to 'Go home' by some wee neds while thousands sing it to me at a football stadium and while they're marching round the streets. You even get folk from Northern Ireland travelling over to Scotland to tell me to 'Go home'. Obviously, though, this counts as nothing next to the travails of that poor English couple!

Staying with the referendum and there's panic in the air as it dawns on our masters in London that a YES vote is imminent. Even auld Frau Windsor's getting worried! Among the new promises of increased devolution there's still that element of trying to play on people's fears. According to some of the posts on the DR, as soon as we vote YES the east coast of Scotland will be swamped with illegal immigrants, all bringing their rabid dogs with them. All manner of terrorist organisations are readying their AK47s and Semtex to murder us all in our beds. Meanwhile Mad Putin is going to rain down nuclear missiles on us. Multinational companies will pull out in droves and you won't be able to get a McDonalds or KFC for love nor money. Not that it'll be worthwhile having any money as we're going to be hit with hyper-inflation. All you'll be able to do with a pound coin is put a down-payment on a Mars bar or buy a deid football team!

The Pakistani guy at my local shop thinks that the YES vote is all about voting with the heart and not the head. He just about shat himself when I explained that a NO vote will probably mean a UKIP government sooner rather than later. A Polish girl that my wife worked beside seems to think that her job would be at risk in the event of a YES vote, again ignoring the threat of the political situation in England. A NO vote could well see her with her arse kicked out the country altogether, never mind losing her job! It seems that Project Fear is reaching some people, although probably not the 'types' that the Bettertogetherers would like!

It seems to be lost on the Westminster Government and its cheerleaders that the surge in the support for independence has nothing whatsoever to do with Braveheart, anti-English hatred or even the SNP. If you'd asked a lot of people now intending to vote YES the same question ten years ago there would have been quite a different outcome. In fact, even when the idea of the referendum was first mooted I, and many others, laughed it off and would have voted NO there and then. What has changed is the political climate. For many years we've had to suffer under governments that the English, especially in the south, elected. We put up with it because we were part of the Union and that was how things worked. So what's changed now?

Well, I'm sure that many would agree with me that the great concern is the culture of isolationism in England. UKIP are trouncing all in polls and by-elections, while Cameron has filled his cabinet with Euro-sceptics. England appears to be only concerned about profits while Scotland is more about social justice and inclusion. The hatred of the EU being bandied about in England is actually quite frightening. The Westminster Government refuses to sign up to the Social Charter and all European calls for people to be treated with dignity and respect are derided as 'PC gone mad' or 'Eurocratic interference'. Our government has for decades been fighting a rearguard battle against European ideas of workers' rights and the duties of employers to their employees. They won't be happy until we've left Europe altogether and they've taken us back to how it was in the Nineteenth Century. 

The truth is that Scotland has outgrown the Union. While we're happy to be involved in Europe and the world stage as the minor players we are, Unionists cannot get over the fact that they don't rule the waves anymore. If the rest of the world don't want to play by the UK's rules then the Unionists' only answer is to stamp their collective foot petulantly and storm off in the huff. The choice on the 18th is between a vibrant, modern, internationalist nation or being part of a petulant nation that's angry because it's 'no' their baw' anymore. 

VOTE YES - IT'S THE POSITIVE OPTION!





 "What the fucking hell's going on, Mister Cehmeron? First you let those hun bastards steal one's tex money and now you're abite to lose a chunk of one's nation! Thet will be six million tex payers lost ehnd thet's going to make one hell of a dent in one's cehviah budget! Ehnd what is going to heppen to one's hices in Scotland? You really are a useless fucker! Off with his head!"






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