YOU MIGHT NEED SOMEBODY

I see McMurdo has finally come out and said what he believes is going to happen with Bisto FC: they're basically fucked. This is his take on Peter Lawwell's supposed admission that Celtic 'needs' Rangers. Apparently what Lawwell is saying is that when Bisto FC goes belly-up the next new Ibrox team will walk straight into the Premiership. After all, Celtic, and everybody else, needs them in order to survive.

This hasn't gone down too well with some of McMurdo's disciples and there is already dissension in the ranks. They're slabbering all the usual pish about illegal demotions, illegal punishments and how Peter Lawwell forced other clubs into throwing Rangers (sic) into the lower leagues. They still don't get it, do they? Peter Lawwell would have been perfectly happy to let the new club into the SPL; it was the fans of all the other teams that weren't happy about this special treatment. And if things go as McMurdo seems to think they will then Scottish football is finished. Money isn't everything.

And you've really got to laugh at these clowns going on about Lawwell running Scottish football and having all his placemen in positions of power. There's only one answer to that: Campell Ogilvie EBT. If Lawwell is running everything then why is this character still holding down a job in the SFA? He's a constant reminder of the corruption at the top of our game and how rules have been bent in favour of one club - and it ain't Celtic!

The big reason, supposedly, for Lawell 'illegally demoting' Rangers (sic) was as a smokescreen to hide all the shady dealings between Celtic and Glasgow City Council. As one of the disciples says, "If Rangers had remained asis in 2012, challenging, leading the chase, winning titles and cups, competing in Europe etc there is no doubt that the MSM would have been all over CFC and their GCC land deals, Co-Op bank loans, Lennoxtown acquisition and the mystery of the “missing” deeds."

Maybe he should have gone a bit further back. If Rangers had remained 'asis' in 2012 they'd have been challenging for nothing more than the struggle to avoid relegation. It's really about time The Peeppul faced reality instead of inventing all these silly conspiracy theories. I suppose when you believe nonsense like British Israelism etc. then it doesn't take much to swallow any old story. I'm surprised they haven't been banging on about the Phantom Time Hypothesis. I only discovered this one recently. Look it up - it's fascinating!

Anyway, while the rest of the world is searching the internet for those pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, the sweaty hooves of The Peeppul are clattering on the keyboards desperately seeking some sign that the EC has found Celtic guilty of receiving state aid. Nothing has been discovered yet, and it won't, but that doesn't stop some of them experiencing a bit of premature ejaculation just because the preliminary investigation  has been mentioned on the Scottish Government website. As if that means anything!

The last day of the transfer window saw seven youngsters go out on loan from Bisto FC. I suppose this is what they call building for the future, relying on players that should be tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa and 'A Book At Bedtime' on Radio 4. The good news for the teams that have taken on these younger players is that loans from Ibrox usually don't have to be paid back.

Meanwhile, on the referendum front, Alistair Darling has called for police protection at the polling booths come the 18th in case the YES campaigners try to intimidate voters. It seems that kicking a woman in the stomach is perfectly reasonable behaviour but throwing an egg is an act of terrorism. The Daily Record is now talking of Jim Murphy being 'pelted' with eggs. Nothing like a bit of eggsageration, eh? (Sorry!)

The remains of the offending egg have been taken by the security services for analysis to ascertain the provenance of this weapon of mass destruction. The Tories believe that it originated in Iraq, while the Labour Bettertogetherers are convinced it's a home-grown egg, one of thousands bought by Alex Salmond as part of a concerted campaign. The Orange Order has claimed that the egg was laid by an Irish Republican hen in a garden on the Falls Road. The Ukippers,meanwhile, point to the fact that the egg was brown, not white. Apparently white eggs have become a minority in their own country, while brown eggs are taking over everywhere. We need to act now to stop this devaluing of British culture...etc...etc...drone...
drone...drone...

And a final visit to Ibrox. The details of the salary of the chairman, Mr. Blobby, have emerged and he's getting £60k a year for working a two-day month. Now there's a job worth having; not just a two-day week, but a two-day month! No doubt he also has loads of bonuses and share packages as well. He moans, however, that his remuneration is 'poor'. It looked to me as if he was being light-hearted, but it's still a big slap in the face for The Peeppul. It seems the only ones that don't have their snouts in the trough are the Easdales; but the big question-mark about them is, who do they represent? They've got proxy votes coming out their earholes but whose? There is speculation that Green, and maybe even Whyte, are still involved at Ibrox; that speculation could be right. Maybe the Easdales are taking nothing because they're only there to represent the ones that are taking nearly everything!

"A gottle of geer!"