BORE WAR

So, just as everybody expected, except for the Union of Fuckwits, Honest Dave is away back to South Africa with a flea in his ear. His attempt to take advantage of the desperate situation at Ibrox was given the bum's rush, due to his non-disclosure of who his co-investors are, his inability to provide proof of funds and his general unsuitability under AIM regulations. (King himself cites the SFA as a stumbling block, but we all know that the Hampden panjandrums would bend over backwards to help the Ibrox club.)

So where does Bisto FC go from here? Well, there are only two options: Ashley or administration. The latter option might seem like a good idea but I'm willing to bet that whoever drew up those 'onerous contracts' will have taken this into account and made provision. The legal wrangling could go on for years and cost Bisto a fortune in court costs. And then there's the little matter of the points hit for going through an insolvency event. Last year, when Bisto was way ahead of the pack, would have been a better time for administration in this respect; now it would condemn the new club to at least one more season in the Championship.

Ashley is hovering around like a vulture, waiting to pick the scraps before the body's even dead. King, of course, warns The Peeppul in his statement:

"...given the present concerns from supporters that Mr Ashley is using his shareholder status to put pressure on the board to alienate the rights and trade mark of the club in favour of his personal interest. I will make a separate announcement and appeal to fans on this topic at the appropriate time."

And:

"I would not be here without the support of the fans and neither would my co-investors. We are going to need to draw on your support again over the coming months."

So it looks like it's pish-stained bedsheets, red cards, boycotts and marches on empty stadiums for the foreseeable future. It looks as if King is determined to kill off this paricular Frankenstein's Monster and then try to replace it with one of his own. Would The Peeppul be happy to start 'The Journey' all over again? No matter what happens over the next few months the only thing that is certain is that the newest club in Scotland is, to use business terminology, fucked!

In a closing salvo, Honest Dave has a go at one of Leggat's favourite bêtes noires, Jack Irvine, the PR guru that everybody at Ibrox seems to use while denying his very existence. Davy Boy is in no mood for subtlety as he links Irvine squarely with Whyte and then goes on to say:

"My review of these emails indicates to me that he carefully identifies journalists that he believes lack journalistic integrity and ability and can therefore be fed by him for the benefit of whoever pays him. I urge fans to continue to ignore the nonsense that comes from these sources."

Surely King's not calling into question the integrity of the sports journalists in our MSM? He seems to be casting the spectre of 'succulent lamb' without actually calling it what it is. He's having a laugh, surely? Perhaps he could explain why the biggest consumers of blue-veined lamb in Scotland, the Daily Record sports staff, have constantly been beating the drum for King and his cronies! Then again, maybe he means Phil Mac Giolla Bhain or even, perish the thought, Merlin himself. If true then this would do McMurdo's credibility no end of harm. He's always banging on about how he supports the board from a position of independence. Wouldn't it be funny if it was discovered that he was actually on Irvine's payroll?

On a tenuously related matter, the Daily Record reports on Celtic's success in their Europa League match last night. It sounds as if it was hard going and Celtic did well to come out on top. Of course, this being the DR, we can't have a good news story from Parkhead spoiling the day of The Peeppul; they might smash up the libraries after all! So a snide comment has to be put in about the top tier at Celtic Park being closed. The reasoning from the DR is that the closure is due to 'lack of interest'. Of course, the underlying implication is that this is because 'Raynjurz' aren't around. The fact that this was a European night seems to elude them. It's time they got it through their thick heads; we are currently going through a recession and folk simply can't afford to go to football matches. Plus, this is the 21st Century and gone are the days when men could disappear to a match with impunity. I know from experience that if you usually pick your daughter up from her dancing class at 8 o'clock on a Wednesday, then, by Christ, you'll still be picking her up, European match or no European match! Nothing short of Bubonic Plague will get you out of it. Even then you might find yourself in the dog house for months on end!

Meanwhile, a 'surprise' announcement was made about a new oil field in the North Sea. Who'd a thought it, eh? Everybody's at pains to point out that the output is not going to be large, so it would not have benefited an independent Scotland by very much. What's the betting, though, that in a year or two's time they'll be saying that they were mistaken and the yield is a lot larger than first expected! Not only that, but they'll probably 'suddenly' discover new fields with much higher yields; pure serendipity, of course! Such mistakes are par for the course, however; during the 1979 referendum campaign we were told that the oil would be lucky to last another five years. It was sheer chance, of course, that it's lasted a lot longer than that!

The number of people viewing my blog is usually in the high three-figure mark, often tipping over into four figures. Why, then, are sales of my new book only hitting double figures? Come on, you lot, get your hands in your pockets! It's not as if I'm asking for donations or the like; I'm selling you something you'll probably enjoy. As Brendan says, it's my "best book yet", and the subject matter probably reflects the experiences of most of our ancestors. So at least have a look!

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