Saturday, 15 August 2015


It's beelin' time for the Huns again. For all the ridiculous statements about never wanting to sign him in the first place, it's obvious that Scott Allan going to Celtic is hurting them. And they don't even have the consolation of still believing that this is some kind of interim measure until he can sign for Sevco; he's signed up to a four-year contract at Paradise. All that's left for them now is hatred and bile and the usual, disgusting comments about Jock Stein.

The agnivores are none too happy either. Derek Johnstone was apparently expressing the hope on Radio Clyde that Allan fails his medical. His buddy, Gerry McCulloch, has been on Twitter with his own particular brand of bile:

"Celtic PR :"Peter, Ronny's talking to the media again today, we need something to shift the focus from Collins" PL: "Hand me my phone""

"So the focus quickly shifts from a disappointing result for Celtic? Mmmm."

That was when he, and the rest of them, were still clinging onto the hope that Allan was going to say, "No". That didn't happen so he's got a different story now to help the Huns nurse their anger and hatred:

"Apparently Rangers (sic) were happy to pay Scott Allan same wage as Celtic. Hibs just wouldn't sell and player had to get out."

Now there's a cartload of manure if ever I smelt it! Are he and the rest of the agnivores honestly going to try to make out that Hibs have just acted out of sheer spite? They really need to take a closer look at what Sevco was offering. They might well have offered Allan a hefty salary; they were obviously doing everything they could to unsettle him. But what was Hibs going to get out of it? You can just imagine Paul Murray making his bid to Rod Petrie, "275,000 big ones, mate. You can have a hundred nicker now and the rest when we win the Champions League. I can't say fairer than that, can I?" He then spits on his hand and offers it to Petrie.

It seems that everybody is well pissed off that their bullying tactics against Hibs didn't work. Our media went out of their way to try to force their hand but they refused to give in. The agnivores don't forgive too easily, so we can expect nothing but negativity about Allan from here on in. Meanwhile Sevco have been left with egg on their faces, especially given Honest Dave's promise that he would fork out 'whatever it takes'. Then again, we still don't know if the bids for Allan were serious or if it was all just a ploy to rattle Hibs. Still, that settles all the arguments about the unwritten part of Allan's contract. He has now signed for a 'bigger club' instead of one that finished below Hibs in the league.

The lack of transparency at Ibrox these days (ironic, since King rode in on a promise of being open) is reminiscent of the days when David Murray held sway. And speaking of Murray, the similarities between him and Michelle Mone are remarkable. Murray got a knighthood for being a successful businessman and now Mone is getting a seat in the House of Lords for the same reason. Nothing particularly untoward about that; except for the fact that both have actually been abject failures in business. Both of their businesses went, if you'll pardon the pun, tits up. Mone was fortunate enough to offload her company while the taxpayer is still paying for MIH's mess.

I think I've mentioned before that I know somebody that worked at MIH and his job, along with others, was to continually shift money around the bank accounts of the various subsidiaries of MIH, making it look as if they were all in the black. The reality was that things were bad and Murray relied on loans to keep things going. It's now emerging that Mone was in the same situation with her company. Then there were the EBTs. Both Mone and Murray misused these trusts. They were meant to be used for bonuses; Mone and Murray used them to top up wages.

Then there were the products. Murray sold a fallacy of European success, casinos and hotels, topped with mint sauce. Mone sold a fallacy of big, firm breasts, which would turn out to be a huge disappointment when the woman took the bra off to reveal a pair of withered, spaniel's lugs that reached to her knees. In both businesses it was all about tits and cups.

As more facts are uncovered about Michelle Mone it seems that her pose as a rich, successful business tycoon is all smoke and mirrors. She supposedly bought her ex-husband out for £24m; which now turns out to be a grossly exaggerated figure. And despite apparently being as rich as Croesus, Mone's properties in Scotland were, and are, mortgaged to the hilt, while her plush London pad is rented. The way she is being sold is exactly the same as the way the agnivores built Murray up as wielding power over some great, profitable financial empire. And why stop at just comparing her with Murray? I keep waiting to hear that she has 'wealth off the radar'.

And it seems that the comparisons with Ibrox are neverending. While Honest Dave goes all out to fleece the Peeppul, Milady Mone is going down the same route, selling diet pills to the weak and desperate. She also shows a propensity for paranoia that is straight out of the Sevco rule book. When questioned about her use of EBTs and loans, her reply was, "Typical SNP supporters!" That's right, because the Herald have been on the side of independence for years now, eh?

Meanwhile, in the real world, it's getting too easy now for plots to be seen everywhere. The latest is a hole in Cilla Black's fence, which has led to stories of gangs of thieves ready to pillage her English home during her funeral. Luckily the hole was spotted in time and the evil plot has been foiled. Supposedly, the hole was 'professionally made', leading the family to suspect thieves. That's one trade I've never seen in the phone book; a professional hole maker! Seriously, though, why would a gang of 'professionals' make a hole days before it's needed, crossing their fingers that nobody finds it? With the right tools you can be through any kind of fence in minutes, which suggests that the whole story is a load of cack!

And we're also being told about a plot to murder Auld Lizzie. I mentioned a couple of days ago about SKY's 'sting operation' to entrap Islamic extremists. A couple of 'journalists' set up a social network site and pretended to be interested in organising a jihad. "Emdy oot there waant tae kill some infidels?" Amazingly, we're supposed to believe that they were contacted, not by deluded nutjobs, but by top ISIS agents that the CIA have been after for ages. So the CIA can't find them but a couple of folk from SKY have got their address and postcode!

These top ISIS people told the SKY folk about the plot to kill the Queen and even about who was involved. The police have now 'rounded up' a wee lassie in Glasgow, who, supposedly, was going to kill Hurmadge with a home-made device. Never mind, hen; just pretend you're a Hun and Donald Findlay will be at your side to argue that you suffer from terminal stupidity and that your device would never hurt anybody!

Lastly, I wonder if Halloween Houston is going to condemn all the Huns expressing the hope that some terminal illness shows up in Scott Allan's medical.

Michelle shows her business brains and the talent she is going to bring to the new Government enquiry team. She might have her knockers but she also has plenty of support and is determined to nip any criticism in the bud. She is looking forward to her new role and claims that she is going to help lift poor people out off their self-imposed misery and separate the potential entrepreneurs from the workshy. "Lift and separate, that's what I'm going to do," she says, "cross my heart!" To her critics she says, "I'm still going to keep abreast with what's happening in Scotland and I look forward to the day when the voters pap the SNP out. So suck on that!"
And there are even more diddies to be found here:
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