There were two major criminal acts perpetrated in 2012; both by Duff and Phelps, whom, as I said, are not in the dock so I think I'm on safe enough ground here. The first act had two parts to it; the renaming of the company and the separation of the company from the club. Both acts are totally illegal under Company Law, but nobody was interested. The first act helped facilitate the second act, which was the sale of the assets, under the pretence that the club was still a going concern. It is not an administrator's job to sell the assets; that is the job of a liquidator. But, of course, the pretext was that the club was still in existence, allowing Duff and Phelps to carry out this criminal, and morally repugnant act. Nobody in the police or the judiciary cared. All that mattered was pretending that Rangers didn't die.
So why the huge interest now in what happened in 2012? The Daily Record, who else, gave the game away the other day with their headline: 'Wanted for Crimes against Rangers'. That about sums it up. Nobody seems to give a baboon's wank about the creditors; no tears were shed three years ago and none are being shed now. All that appears to matter is the money that was pished away during Green's regime. This trial is going to be nothing but a sham. 'Crimes against Rangers' right enough. It looks like Imrad Ahmad is perfectly correct in his assessment of Scotland's legal 'fraternity'.
So if the big crime is being bad to 'Raynjurz', expect to see a lot more people up before the beak. The police are probably scrutinising 'Ze List' as we speak. Maybe we should all be afraid.
"Isn't it true, Mr. Anderson, that you, with malice aforethought, did publish two books claiming that Rangers isn't Rangers anymore and, what is more, laughing at them?"
"And you, Mr. Monti, did you or did you not send your hound into the sewers to bite fuck out of many a poor Hun? And are you not responsible for the invention of the phrase 'Stupid, stupid Huns', claiming that they are thick twice over? And what, exactly, is the purpose of that infamous utility room?"
"Come, come, my dear Mick. Do you honestly expect the court to believe that you were not taking the piss far more than Mark Warburton has been doing? Sometimes you have had half a dozen posts on your blog on the same day. Do you not think that you are indeed guilty of heinous crimes against Rangers?"
"Ahhh! Hector! Perhaps you could tell the court about those corduroy trousers. You are obviously a terrorist-supporting, Rangers-hating, Teuchter bastard! I rest my case M'Lud!"
It'll be like some show trial in Nazi Germany or Stalin's USSR. We'll be there for a good couple of years at least and then, once we've all found been found guilty, we'll be crucified along the road from Ibrox to Govan Cross, with a sign nailed to each cross saying, "For crimes against Rangers". The only person to walk free will be Portpower, mainly because nobody understands what he's on about!
Meanwhile, The Peeppul are up in arms because Sevco hasn't been included in some video game called FIFA 16. Makers EA Sports have explained that they failed to come to an agreement with Sevco. I love their little addendum: "However, newly-promoted Hearts will feature in the game with the other 11 authentic clubs from the Scottish Premiership," Authentic clubs? That'll go down a storm at the Ludge! One of The Peeppul is quoted as saying, "I am outraged the world's most successful team has been overlooked." Whether or not that accolade ever belonged to Rangers is debatable; it is also moot, since Rangers died three years ago. But the worldwide fan base is on the case and a whole 1300 have signed an online petition. A promise has already been made that the requisite death threats will be arriving at EA's headquarters as soon as possible.
The Daily Record has got somebody to translate Barry Ferguson's latest chubby-stump crayon scribbles and it makes for hilarious reading. He claims that Derek McInnes is turning Aberdeen into Rangers. That's funny; I thought McInnes was doing a good job and now Ferguson comes along and tells us that he's actually killing off the club! Ferguson also confirms what those of us outwith The Peeppul always knew in our hearts to be true about the dead club: "(Winning) was the be all and end all of being at Rangers at that time." In fact, if truth be told, winning was always the be all and end all at Ibrox. The rules of the game, paying proper taxes and even the Second World War all came a distant second at Ibrox to making sure the team won. That's why they died!
Our wonderful government in Westminster has decided to scare the shit out of us again by telling us that there are 3000 bloodthirsty ISIS jihadists ready to murder us all in our beds. They really must think our heads button up the back. Forty years ago the country was full of IRA operatives, ready to blow us all up; now it's Muslims. In forty years time they'll have a new scapegoat. As long as we don't question what our masters in London are up to, they'll protect us from the big, bad men.
I found an interesting statement on IMDB when I was looking to see what a film was about. Somebody had this to say, "If a civilian is shot by a soldier, he is a casualty of war; a tragedy, but shit happens. If the civilian refuses to die but fights back - he's a terrorist!"
Finally, I see a letter has been sent to the Sevconians regarding a complaint by one of their own. It seems that the friendly, homely smell of sweat and unwiped arses at Ibrox has been spoiled by one or two of them actually washing. "It's no' the Raynjurz way," a Hun was quoted as saying. "Wae should aw bae staunin' the-gither, shooder tae shooder, jist like it wiz when Ah wiz wee. Ah kin stull remember the great days, singin' the songs and breathin' in the smell-a shite. Aye, they wur the days, when wae walked the land wi' dignity, giants in wur ain minds, an' then..." (Continued on any random page of 'Rangers (sic) Supporters Loyal'.
"Hello, playmates! It's yer old pal, Big-Hearted Bill Struth, again. Now what's all this I hear about supporters having to take baths and the like? In my day men were men and you took a bath on the first day of Spring and that was that. No walking about smelling like big Nancies back then; it would've frightened the horses! You sewed yourself into your combinations for the Winter and only took them off once June arrived. You even took your annual bath still wearing them. If God had meant me to walk around with clean bollocks seven days a week then He'd have given me a tongue like a cat's! So let's hear no more about it. A shite, a shave and a touch of Macassar is enough for any man to look his best. Just remember, the British Empire was built on knob cheese! Ayyyyyythenkyaow!"
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