Sunday, 15 November 2015


Does anybody believe that, when the First World War started, the German Government stirred up the people to fight by telling them that they were Team Evil and were going out to slaughter everybody in Europe? The German people would have been fed propaganda about the evil French, British and Russians. It wasn't until the 1960s that Fritz Fischer published his well-researched book on what the Germans were really fighting for. Nobody has ever bothered doing the same kind of research into why the British went to war, which is why we're still fed the old propaganda about defending democracy and freedom etc. etc. For the actual soldiers involved in the war, on both sides, they had no real idea of why they were fighting. Only the passage of time and the cooling of tempers allows that to happen.

It usually takes a long time for the truth to come out and sometimes we never really discover it and can only speculate. For example, as more and more evidence comes to light about the involvement of MI5 in the IRA it seems likely that speculation about IRA attacks being inspired by the English might well be true. One way of looking at it is, who benefitted? Events like the Birmingham bombings turned a lot of people against Irish Republicanism; people that previously had been supportive. If you've started reading 'Catalyst' then you'll know exactly what I'm getting at. As I said, who benefitted? The ordinary rank-and-file of the IRA would have had no knowledge of any ulterior motives at the time; as in war, nobody knows what's going on apart from the elites.

It's always difficult to discover the real reasons for occurrences while they're still going on; feelings run high and knee-jerk reactions are understandable. The attacks on Paris over the weekend have elicited the usual shouts about Muslims, calls for air strikes on Syria and there have already been attacks on immigrants and refugees. It's a strange place for ISIS to attack; the French have always acted independently and have been extremely critical of American involvement in the Middle East. Remember all the 'Freedom Fries' nonsense? The question needs to be asked again: who benefits? As usual, it's the ordinary, innocent folk that suffer.

Back to more parochial matters and the DR reports that a 'source' at the SFA has poured cold water on the idea of the Tainted Titles being stripped. It seems that there is 'no mechanism' for trying Rangers again; 'Double Indemnity' the 'source' joked. What a load of keech! Isn't it funny how, whenever it comes to Rangers or Sevco, there's 'no mechanism' for dealing with them? They're quick enough to find 'mechanisms' when it comes to dealing with other clubs, or for finding convicted criminals 'fit and proper'. Roll on Mike Ashley's court cases!

Meanwhile, the Huns have come up with another stupid analogy, which, as usual, misses the whole point. There was much back-slapping and congratulations meted out on the DR forum when some clown came up with this scenario: a car-sales company goes into liquidation and another company buys a vintage car that they used in displays and which won many shows. The second company now owns that history, which comes with the car. As somebody else pointed out, that's not what happened at Ibrox; it was more akin to somebody buying the old car's number plates and shoving them on a new car. Chateau Charlie obviously agrees, since his lawyer was at great pains to point out that Charlie Boy did not buy Rangers; he merely bought the assets. We won't have heard the last of that failed analogy, though!

The Daily Record, I see is up to its old tricks again with its comments section. As before, all manner of dodgy ads are allowed to pass through moderation and no effort is made to remove them. It's the same for normal posts; it seems that only certain ones are moderated. I put this up the other day:

As you can see, something in my post triggered moderation. I waited about thirty seconds and refreshed the page to find that my comment had disappeared. It was later that I discovered that the offending phrase was the word 'titles'. Using this word meant that your post was immediately flagged for moderation and then was removed almost immediately. Meanwhile, all comments about child abuse and phrases like 'Torbett Towers' are allowed through and, even when reported, are allowed to remain. It just shows what a filthy bunch of bigots they have down at Central Quay.

Amid all the court cases, projected court cases, threats and desperate attempts at deflection in the past week, one piece of news was the funniest of the lot: Halloween Houston has released a book! I doubt if he himself has written it (probably Jabba had a hand in it somewhere along the line) and laughably, the foreword was 'written' by Bomber Brown, a man who finds it difficult to string two coherent words together. 'Sons of Struth Demand the Truth' the tome is called and it's being released just in time for Christmas. There are going to be a lot of disappointed Hun weans on Christmas Day when they find that in their stockings; not to mention the sheer terror they're going to experience when they see that face leering out at them from the cover! And a wee word to Monti; Houston's book is 80,000 words, which is about the same as most of my books. Houston's book, however, is selling at a hefty £12.99, which makes my prices seem positively bargain-basement.

It looks as if it's a heart-wrenching tale of a man's struggle to get his new club out of the hands of spivs and shysters and into the hands of...er...spivs and shysters. It's a tale of bravery, tenacity and triumph over adversity. He apparently lost his cleaning business and suffered depression as he, and his convicted drug-dealer friend, attempted to oust the folk that were actually putting money into the new club. Read how he lost his long-term love interest when she finally got round to going to Specsavers and his estrangement from his children as he switched the light on too quickly one night when they were in bed and they ran off screaming about the 'Bogey Man'.

Thrill as Houston tells how he stood up to the gangster, Sandy Easdale, by bombarding him with e-mails. Smile as you read how Houston and his mob made Mike Ashley cry when they stopped getting the weans' school clothes from Sports Direct. Feel the rush of adrenalin as Houston's crew bravely take on an old man at Ibrox Stadium. All this and more in what critics are calling the best read since Leggat's last book.

Finally, I was serious about those songs and rhymes, you know. I got a good one from Gerry Creaney but I'm still looking for more. Come on. You must remember at least one! And if your memory continues to fail you, ask your weans!

"This book of Halloween Houston's is the best thing you'll ever read. And you know you can trust me; I'm as honest as the day is long...in Alaska in the middle of December."

And don't forget a really decent read:

Available at Amazon now, in paperback and Kindle.

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