JABBA THE AGNIVORE

KING OF THE (COPLAND) ROAD

Loony Leggat got himself all excited yesterday. He got himself so worked-up that his fingers will still be sticking to the keyboard today. And the reason for his excitement? Apparently Dave King is looking to buy into Trigger's Brush FC. In fact, he's looking to buy up enough shares to be in charge.

You must remember Dave King, the guy that wanted to save Rangers last year but couldn't because of his tax case in South Africa? According to Leggat, everything is okay now because King's assets, outside of South Africa have been unfrozen. He, of course, omits to explain why. The South African government have seized all King's assets in the country to pay for the tax he dodged. Is that really the type they want running things at Ibrox? Maybe it is!

Somehow I don't think Bill McMurdo would be too happy to see King turning up at Ibrox. He hasn't commented yet on this but he has made his feelings plain about the 'Old Guard.' To him, things at Ibrox need to move forward, with solid business heads instead of so-called 'Rangers Men.'

Unfortunately, the only alternative seems to be the Easdale brothers, to whom Green has apparently promised to sell his shares. This pair are looking for seats in the boardroom as well and don't look as if they're ready to back down any time soon. They've got plenty of money and won't be overawed by King.

What's that phrase, 'Fit and proper person'? Would either King or the Easdales pass this test? One of the Easdales has been in prison for fraud, so it's not much of a choice, is it? Leggat, however, does not let this bother him. It matters not to him if somebody is a conman, as long as he's a 'dyed-in-the-wool bluenose!' King meets this particular criterion; Leggat, however, views the Easdales differently.

The Easdales, in Leggat's eyes, committed the worse crime possible. They spoke to Chris McLaughlin of BBC Scotland! This is the guy that was banned from Ibrox for having the nerve to report the truth. With a surname like that it's surprising he was allowed near there in the first place! Anyhoo, they apparently were quite chummy with McLaughlin, even - gasp! - calling him by his first name! Surely the Trigger's Brush 'loyal' would never accept such people?

Leggat takes this as proof that Green has no intention of selling his shares to the Chuckle Brothers. If they were, indeed, going to be buying these shares then they would never have committed the faux-pas of talking to McLaughlin. Since they are not really going to be buying the shares then, according to Leggat, the whole story is a ploy to stop the share price falling!

I'm sure investors, potential investors and the Diddy Stock Exchange are impressed that Green is ostensibly selling his shares to a convicted criminal! Yes, that's going to keep the share price high. On the floor of the Diddy Stock Exchange they're probably falling over themselves to put their hard-earned into the Trigger's Brush holding company, whatever it's called this week. The share price will be going through the roof!

Meanwhile Jabba is still doing nothing to earn his lamb. He has published nothing on the Rangers website since February and only came out of hiding last week to have a go at BBC Scotland. I think he spends all his time in bed, swallowing sleeping pills, desperately hoping that he'll wake up to find David Murray in the shower and discover that the last couple of years have been only a dream!

The Easdale brothers get ready to take their seats on the board.