JABBA THE AGNIVORE

REBELS, RENEGADES AND RECONSTRUCTION

The rebellion by Division 1 teams has really put the cat among the pigeons! The refusal to dance to the tune of Longmuir and his puppet-masters has been interpreted, of course, as part of some master plan of Peter Lawwell. Bill McMurdo has already accused the rebels of selling out and Loony Leggat will no doubt put the same spin on the story. Of course, they're only thinking about the good of Scottish football!

This concern over Scottish football has about as much meaning and feeling behind it as the frequent crocodile tears about abused children. Remember when Airdrie were put out of business by David Murray? Does anyone remember the 'Loyal' protesting about a proud, Scottish football club disappearing? They were all about Economic Darwinism back in those days; every man, or club, for himself and The Devil take the hindmost. And what was the reaction to Celtic almost going out of business? Sooperally said that he couldn't stop laughing! But now they're the guardians of football in Scotland. Ha!

Rob Roy MacGreegor has already come out in opposition to any suggestion of an SPL 2 and I expect his St Mirren counterpart will express the same views. MacGregor, of course, can't divulge that he's dancing to the tune of a flute band; instead he calls for a solution to suit all 42 teams. Aye, right! We all know that the solution is really just to suit one team! If part of the proposal for an SPL 2 was to fast-track Trigger's Brush FC into this new division, I wonder if he would still object!

As to the 42 teams, is there really a place for all these teams in a small country like Scotland? Back in the day there was nothing much else for working-class men to do on a Saturday. The only full day off was on a Sunday, when you were expected  to go to church and then look after your garden. The local boss, as well as the minister, would travel round to make sure you were abiding by the rules. A half-day on Saturday could either be spent in the pub or at the local football ground. It was probably the only time that a man could get time on his own, away from his family and away from work. An afternoon at the football and a night on the bevvy became the Saturday norm for working-class, Scottish men.

Now, of course, times have changed. The working day is shorter, you get the whole Saturday off and you can do what you want with your Sunday. Rather than being a chore, spending time with your family is seen as 'quality time.' There are so many leisure pursuits for people to follow these days and, unlike the old days, folk are not afraid to venture outside their own neighbourhood. Pubs have had to adapt; quiz nights, karaoke, food, children's playgrounds etc. Football needs to do the same; it's not the only game around any more.

Is it really feasible to expect 42 teams to be sustainable in Scotland anymore? For many of these teams if the usual auld man wi' the dug brings his grandson then it's a full house! The fans of Trigger's Brush FC, if the comments on blogs and media webpages are to be believed, are all committed Thatcherites. And yet, they are determined that all these teams should be subsidised! Thatcher must be turning in her grave, if not on a spit somewhere in Hell.

Trigger's Brush FC and its supporters have been telling us all how they've helped Scottish football by taking big crowds to the grounds of Division 3 teams. Strangely, they opposed league reconstruction because they would have to play many of the same teams again. Don't they want to redistribute the wealth to their friends anymore?

Of course, Trigger's Brush FC's two lackeys will do their best to scupper any plans for an SPL 2. If they're that desperate to help Trigger's Brush then why don't they go and join them? That would make everybody happy. The First Division rebels can join the current SPL teams in one organisation, while the rest, including Trigger's Brush FC, will have to stew in their own juices. I'm sure whoever ends up in charge at Ibrox will relish the opportunity to run their own league! That's if they're still around.

In this scenario I wonder which league the SFA would support! Who would UEFA view as the legitimate Scottish League? We could be in for some fun times, as long as Trigger's Brush FC don't go into liquidation again!

A sneak preview of the movie about Whyte's takeover. Paul McCartney will be doing the soundtrack and CD. He's calling it 'The Whyte Album.'