Instead of wasting his time delving into the mysteries of the universe, or trying to sort out the world's current economic and social problems, this man has decided to put his massive brain to better use: he's out to save Bisto FC. Considering he only owns 2.5% of the shares he's got a hell of a lot to say for himself. Still, Ronnie and Reggie don't own much more and they're running the show!
Like everyone that appears in the Daily Record to give their tuppence-worth, he claims to be a 'lifelong Rangers fan.' Strangely, he comes from Manchester with one of the biggest clubs on the planet on his doorstep but chose to support Rangers instead. Weird. And, like Sooperally, who owns about the same amount of shares, he gives his support to anybody and anything. Not so long ago he was praising Mr Blobby, saying how he was the best man for the job and how he would be the saviour of Bisto. Now he's 'thrown his weight behind' Dave King. At least King can be grateful that it's not Sooper that has thrown his weight behind him; he'd never recover!
For some reason the Daily Record are beating the drum for King. As I've said before, it's probably because of his Ancien Regime credentials. I think they're all hoping that the days of platters of best New Zealand might come back. As for Prior, great play is made of him being some kind of ex wunderkind of the investment market. 'Ex' seems to be the operative term here and it has to be asked, if he was so great, then why is he not still doing it? I'd imagine the DR pays him a tidy sum for his 'expert opinion' and this seems to be his main source of revenue. He reminds me of one of those 0898 numbers you'd phone for tips in the horse racing, where if the guy running the service was so great he'd be winning a fortune himself. In other words, Prior is full of shite!
Meanwhile, one of McMurdo's disciples is up in arms about somebody's freedom beeing impinged upon. A DUP dinosaur jockey, Ruth Patterson, decided to wear her Linfield scarf to a meeting of Belfast City Council. Cue a bit of petulant outrage from the leader of the Sinn Fein group. Although maybe not so petulant, since Patterson has previous for trying to cause trouble, wrapping herself in a Union flag to show her support for the 'fleg' protestors. Of course, the disciple posted this to show how ridiculous and petty Sinn Fein can be. All well and good.
Contrast this, however, with what was said about Trish Godman, Labout MSP. She was one of the ones that was targeted by the vile Kilwinning terrorists, who sent home-made bombs through the post. Her crime was that she wore a Celtic top into the Scottish Parliament. According to all the Bisto Kids, and McMurdo's disciples, she 'brought it on herself' by inappropriately and provocatively wearing a football top into a government building. Hypocrisy doesn't even begin to describe them!
And they're still banging on about the IRA being cowards, compared to the British army, who face their enemy. Now, I'm not condoning or defending terrorists in general, or the IRA in particular; it's the prejudice and ridiculous, convoluted descriptions The Peeppil use to try to rationalise their hatred that I've got a problem with. Using the logic they are employing, then Muslim extremists, who go in amongst their 'enemies' and die in the bomb explosions with them, are more heroic and worthy of praise than the British and Americans, who send drone bombers from hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away!
Sticking with this subject, I'm currently enjoying watching the Star Wars films, which I haven't seen in years. I'm watching The Empire Strikes Back as I write this. Great stuff. It made me think, though; who do The Peeppil root for when they're watching these films? Are they cheering for the law-and-order forces of the Galactic Empire or the rebels, who want to restore the Republic (Oh dear!)? Maybe they should start wearing 'We are all Darth Vader' masks!
McMurdo and his disciples are also making a big deal of what they call 'Plastic Paddys.' Now, I've never been to Ireland and don't feel any great connection, apart from the fact that my ancestors came from there at the end of the Nineteenth Century. I'd like to go some time and research my family tree but I certainly don't feel Irish or any great affinity for 'The Cause.' I can, however, understand those that do. I think I've mentioned before that my great-great-grandmother was murdered by the Black and Tans. Many families have similar stories, or worse, and that kind of thing can colour your way of thinking. My grandparents were members of the Order of Hibernia and kept in touch with family still over in Derry by letter and with annual visits. Some families kept such connections going a lot longer than mine did, and this can foster more of a link with history, as well as keeping going old resentments.
McMurdo and his disciples say that it's time to let go and place history where it belongs: in the past. This advice, however, is coming from people that go marching every year to celebrate historical events a lot older than the ones some Celtic supporters sing about! McMurdo accuses the 'Plastic Paddys' of believing in a 'skewed' version of history. This can actually be true; for example, Sean South was not an Englishman and quite possibly never went near Garryowen! The same accusation, however can be levelled against The People.
The ones that go blowing flutes and banging drums every July claim to be celebrating the Glorious Revolution and the granting of freedoms to us all. This stands in stark contrast to the truth. William of Orange reinstated the Test and Corporation Acts, which James II had repealed and which denied representation not only to Catholics but to many Nonconformists as well. During the reigns of William, Anne and their German successors, moreover, Ulster Presbyterians were constantly persecuted by the established Church of Ireland. Many of them fled to America to escape this persecution. So what 'freedoms' are the Orange Order celebrating?
The Orange Order also resisted any extension of the franchise in Britain and Ireland, not only to Catholics but to the middle classes in 1832. So when did they become friends of democracy? It's a bit like the current re-writing of history for the Centenary of the beginning of World War I. We're being told that Britain was fighting to maintain democracy in the face of an aggressive and oppressive Germany. The fact is, however, that about half the men fighting in the British army were not eligible to vote in elections, while the Germans had universal male suffrage! It seems the 'Plastic Paddys' are not the only ones to have a misty-eyed view of history!
Perhaps McMurdo and his disiples should take their own advice and put history in the past and join the rest of us in the Twenty-First Century. That includes all the ridiculous fairy tales about destiny and the Royal Family. If they opened their minds and discarded all the pseudo-history then they might see that a YES vote in September is our best option!
I see that McMurdo's pal, Max Clifford, has finally gone on trial for forcing himself on underage girls. Somehow I don't think we'll see the same outrage and calls for castration or decapitation on his blog that we encounter on other occasions. Clifford went to the wrong kind of school to deserve such condemnation!
Among all the plaudits currently doing the rounds about Fergus McCann, a Bisto Kid pointed out how the Celtic fans used to boo him and call for him to go. This is all true, of course. At the time it was frustrating to see Rangers spend millions on world-class talent and win title after title, while The Bunnet refused to blow the cobwebs off the Biscuit Tin. In hindsight, however, he did the right thing. If he had tried to compete with Rangers on the same level then there would be a new team playing at Celtic Park, the same as there is at Ibrox. Besides, is it not better to have a healthy scepticism about wealthy saviours rather than just welcome and place your trust in every sheister and crook that comes along? I bet the Bisto Kids now wish that Murray had kept the lid on the Rover Assortment tin instead of throwing tenners about!
And congratulations are in order to myself for selling two books! Thanks to Brendan and Ian I now have nearly a quid in my Royalties box! I've decided not to retire to the Bahamas just yet but those palm trees are calling already! I'm still more than happy to give away free copies of any of my books, as long as I get some kind of feedback. I can let you have them in Kindle, word or PDF format. Just drop me a message and let me know.
"Oxford? Cambridge? No, not me mate. I'm going to Govan!"
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