GOTT SHÜTZE DIE KÖNIGIN!

My wife is a big fan of Casualty and Holby City. She likes nothing better than maudlin stories about folk dying and, of course, the soap elements help to make it interesting as well. I can't stand either programme so when she's watching them in the living room she wears the headphones so I don't have to suffer it. Meanwhile, I can get on with writing books and other worthwhile pursuits. I can't help looking up now and again while I'm thinking and it's amazing how many folk I recognise. I drive my wife mental with my shouting out, "Hey, that's him/her from Brookside/Eastenders/The Bill etc. etc." Both programmes seem to operate as a retirement home for ex-Soap actors.
 
In much the same way, Kilmarnock FC has always been there to provide a few extra paydays for ex-Huns. That's why you need to take the latest utterances from their chairman, Jim Mann, with a large dose of salt. He says that Scottish football is boring everyone because the same teams are playing each other over and over again. Er...isn't that what happens in every league in the world? Of, course, he's banging on about the top league needing to be made bigger; that seems to be the panacea everybody's coming up with these days. We could always try it, I suppose. How about a top league of 18 teams and throw everyone else into a Second Division? That would  work, wouldn't it? Well it didn't seem to work forty years ago, when everyone was concerned about falling ticket sales and they set up the Premier League to remedy the situation. It was thought that all the games against the 'wee diddy teams' in Division One was boring everybody; so what's changed now? Oh, aye...
 
And there's the real reason for all this talk of a bigger top tier; they're all missing 'Rangers'. Jim Mann admits as much, saying, "It will be better once Rangers are back in the league. They have cast a negative halo over west of Scotland football and every club have seen attendances dip." That's right, because attendances were at an all-time high before Rangers went tits-up. It's getting pathetic now, this desperation to rush Sevco into the top tier. They're not even bothering to hide it anymore.
 
Speaking of hiding things, the big story just now is the pictures of Auld Lizzie Saxe-Coburg Gotha and her mother doing Nazi salutes back in the day. I notice that nobody from the Palace is denying what they're doing; they're just concerned that the images have made their way into the public domain. Of course, all we're hearing is that it was a different time, nobody new what the Nazis were like in 1933 etc. What a load of pish! Hitler had laid it all out in Mein Kampf and already Jews were being treated, not as second-class citizens, but as if they weren't even human. Maybe Lizzie had an excuse, being only seven, but her mother is a different story altogether. Besides, nobody said that Pope Benedict was 'just a boy' when he was in the Hitler Youth, even though membership was as obligatory as being in the Lodge is in Larkhall.
 
One idiotic 'historian' claims that everybody used to goosestep and make Nazi salutes if they were the Germans in a game of soldiers. That is utter shite. No matter which side you were on in a game of soldiers you just ran about with a plastic gun or a stick, shouting, "Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-a-ow!" Such games usually didn't last long as everybody refused point-blank to die. Even firing a hundred rounds a minute into somebody at close range would elicit the response, "Ye missed may!" After about ten or fifteen minutes of this you would all pack it in and go and play at Kick-The-Can, football or rounders. Either that or somebody would join the game with a Johnny 7 and fire spring-loaded, plastic rockets at everybody's napper. The game would then end in tears and snotters and a fight involving a crowd of irate mothers. No Nazi salutes were ever involved.

Other arse lickers point out that this is all part of Rupert Murdoch's republican agenda. To prove some kind of point, they show that Murdoch earns more per year than the Queen does. Now, there's no denying that Murdoch's a cunt, but the operative word there is earns. If anyone wants to compare the cash the royals get with Murdoch's wad then there's something the royals need to do first: get a fucking job!

We should really be told more about the Nazi sympathies of the Royal Family; after all, they are Germans. Instead there'll be questions in the House and a big investigation into how this short film fell into the hands of The Sun. That sounds vaguely familiar. It's a bit like how the big interest in the Rangers Tax Case blog wasn't the content but how the writer had come by his information. How dare anyone question the Huns or their Queen!

Sieg Heil!

Who do you sponge off, ya auld deadbeat?

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