BALLS (AND NECKS) OF BRASS REQUIRED

Is he or isn't he? The Daily Record was banging on yesterday about Kenny Miller coming back to Ibrox to 'spearhead' Sooperally's Championship campaign. You've got to laugh at the way the DR puts it: Ally 'swoops' for Kenny Miller. It makes it sound as if there was stiff competition for his signature. It also sounds like the old Ibrox Meals-On-Wheels has started delivering the lamb dinners again. Just like in the grand old days of yore, the DR took some ridiculous Ibrox PR at face value without checking anything.

The BBC, on the other hand, did do a bit of checking. In fact, they did the easiest bit of checking they could: they got in touch with Miller himself. Miller denied that Bisto FC had been in touch with him at all and spoke of keeping his options open. So either he's being extremely coy or the DR is talking shite. And it's not like the Daily Record to talk shite, is it?

And the DR continues its anti-Bisto-board stance with a couple of articles on Mr Blobby. The Union of Fuckwits has 'demanded' that he resign immediately, saying that his position is 'untenable'. Chris Graham has a go as well, letting us know that Mr Blobby is now one of the top names on Ze List. They're all unhappy at the bonus that Mr B is entitled to, especially when Sooper and his band of cluggers aren't taking one. But has Mr B really failed in his job? After all, his bonus depends on bringing in investment, not on the team steamrolling its way through a part-time league. Have a look at this picture from the Record:

Who's that standing in front of Mr Blobby; the wee man with the bunnet? Who do you know that wears headgear like that? And, if my eyes don't deceive me, there's a pair of specs underneath the peak of that bunnet. Could it be? Has Mr Blobby trounced all his critics by bringing in the one, the only, The Bunnet? Surely he deserves all the bonus money he gets for that coup?

Meanwhile the war between McMurdo's disciples and the Union of Fuckwits is hotting up. McMurdo let rip yesterday with a tirade against the 'Rebels' that accuses them of holding the club to ransom, of not wanting to rest until the club is destroyed and of being - gasp! - Bolsheviks! He says that the Bisto Board now has to step up and have 'balls of steel' to counter all this extortion and piracy. Unfortunately it's balls of brass the board will be more interested in as they try to see how much they can get at Ramsdens for the St Etienne bike!

Uncharacteristically, McMurdo has actually allowed a post that disagrees with him. This guy is not renewing his season ticket and makes the usual accusations about the board being full of crooks. He also says that "History will prove the so called “rebels” as you like to describe us actually SAVED the club."

So now we've got two sides lined up against one another, claiming that they're going to save Bisto FC and claiming that they're the 'real Rangers (sic) supporters.' The current uptake of season books, meanwhile, is only about 3000 and possibly even as low as 2000. Given the usual reluctance of The Peeppul to put their hands in their pockets, this is probably more to do with the price going up; all this talk about spivs etc is just a smokescreen!

And they're all having a go at Richard Gough on McMurdo's website. Apparently he said, when liquidation happened, that Rangers was dead. They seem to forget that he wasn't the only one. Auld Dignity and even Jabba came out with the same kind of stuff. Later, however, they changed their minds when a bundle of tenners was waved under their noses. Maybe that's the answer with Gough; the board should have got in there first with a well-paid position for him as part of Sooperally's staff! Surely it's not too late?

Finally, I hate to say I told you so - but I told you so. Have a look at this story:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-republican-sympathiser-arrested-after-3500630

This, along with Gerry Adams's arrest and all the press publicity about the Jean McConville case isn't just about the upcoming Euro elections you know. There's a sinister drip-drip effect being put in place that will have a huge impact on a certain referendum in September. Remember, you read it here first:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Torrent-Pat-Anderson-ebook/dp/B00IO8RKDA/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394520659&sr=1-4&keywords=torrent

Don't tell him, Pike!