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Friday 2 May 2014

PAT, MICK AND THE IRISHMAN

I remember when I was wee back in the 60s (Yes, I'm that old!) the favourite jokes doing the rounds were about Pat, Mick and the Irish Man. Everybody realised that the characters made no sense; after all, weren't Pat and Mick Irish as well? Still, it didn't stop folk telling them. They all followed the same format: Pat and Mick would get taken for mugs, while the Irish Man always managed to come off best. They were gentle, harmless jokes: the kind you groaned at rather than laugh.

Fast forward to the 70s and the jokes had changed. Now it was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman; with the Irishman the butt of the joke since he was thick. Comedians on the telly did a roaring trade in these kinds of jokes, along with other racist jokes about blacks and Pakistanis. Even Irish comedians joined in, with the likes of Jimmy Cricket, with his L and R wellies, so he'd remember which foot went where. Looking back, there was a real nastiness about many of these jokes.

And so onto the enlightened 21st Century. You never hear any of these jokes now; folk wouldn't stand for it, even though there's still a market among certain types. And those 'certain types' were out in force on McMurdo's website. What's stirred them up this time is the story in the Daily Record about Anthony Stokes, pictured in a bar on Falls Road, speaking to, or singing with, members of a band called Shebeen. Apparently this band are all Republicans. Shock! Horror!

Cue the hatred and bile from The Peeppul. The irony seems lost on them that practically every week they stand singing their hatred of Catholics and Irish people, with not a word said about it either by our authorities or our media. The story about Anthony Stokes, then, is not about 'balancing things out' or, as the papers are trying to do with Monday night's hooliganism, an attempt at 'both as bad as each other.' The fact that the bile from The Peeppul is never mentioned means that the papers are just trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator with their story about Stokes. How come there's no 'as bad as each other' now?

Look at this comment from McMurdo's blog:

"Sadly. Republican scum sucking a holes are not on the radar for the mhedia and the plastic offended to have a full blown outcry over this.
A young lad singing a song on a train or wherever, seems more shocking."


Is this guy for real? How does he know about the Stokes 'incident'? Why, he read it in the paper! And where he gets this "young lad singing a song" crap I've no idea. I don't remember seeing anything like that in our press, do you? Oh, wait, I remember there was a story about a girl on a train, supposedly singing 'Irish Rebel' songs. Is that what he's talking about?

And another quote:

"How about Presbyterian Scotsman, singing Scottish songs – in Scotland – Hardly a reason for those timmigrants to get offended is it my friend – but, without fail; they always do."

What 'Scottish songs' is he talking about? I've never heard of anyone being offended by somebody singing Scotland The Brave! Or maybe it was somebody singing in Scottish Gaelic? Then again, any condemnation in this regard would probably come from somebody thinking they were singing in Irish Gaelic! So what songs would a 'Presbyterian Scotsman' sing? Amazing Grace, perhaps? That's right, the papers are full of complaints about that particular song.

I suspect that he's not talking about 'Presbyterian Scotsmen' or 'Scottish songs' at all. I think what he means is Orange Scotsmen, singing songs of hate with reference to Ireland and nothing whatsoever to do with Scotland at all! Either that or there's a lot of folk out there that loathe Donald Where's Yer Troosers!

And a final, unintentionally funny, post from McMurdo's site:

"typical tim posting under different non de plumes[thats names for you thick tims]."

That's NOMS DE PLUME, genius! And a 'nom de plume' does not mean 'name' it means 'pseudonym': literally, 'pen name'. For example, Eric Blair wrote under the nom de plume of George Orwell. What's that old saying about it being better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt?

Anyway, back to the gravy boat that is Bisto FC. Some guy in Australia, who bought half-a-million-quid's worth of shares in the Bisto IPO and met Green et al on their vistit to Australia, has sent an open letter to Honest Dave in the Daily Record. Apparently the guy was pictured in 2012, with a huge cheque, bragging about buying his shares while his grandchildren looked on. He said he was investing "To ensure future generations, like my Grandkids, come to know the history of their family background and why we wear this strip with pride and honour." One of those, eh?

To the Bisto Kids, however, 'history,' 'family background' and 'tradition' all come a distant second to Mammon. This guy is no different. He calls on Honest Dave to buy out all the supporters that invested. He accuses Honest Dave of trying to recoup some of his losses, but this guy sounds like he's trying to do the same. His initial investment of half-a-million is now only worth about a hundred-odd thousand and he's obviously trying to get out before the share price falls any further. No doubt his grandkids have told him where to shove his 'family backgroud' and want cash instead!

Like most Bisto Kids, this guy lives in his own wee world. He praises Charles Green for 'saving Rangers (sic) and for being the first to come up with the idea of the Ibrox team moving to England. "I’m sure I’ve heard that expressed elsewhere in Glasgow since!" he says. I'm sure I've heard that expressed elsewhere in Glasgow, and at Ibrox, long before big Charlie Chuckles appeared on the scene!

Anyway, Honest Dave has rebuffed him, saying that he's not going to cover anybody's losses. That's the first sensible thing I've heard him come out with! Meanwhile, the Australian guy bleats and moans that he's an 'emotional investor'. If that's the case, then why the hell is he trying to offload his shares to King? It looks like a lot of The Peeppul have got their fingers, and their pockets, seriously burned in this fiasco and are now expecting everybody to feel sorry for them. I've only got one thing to say - Tell it to the face painter!





"Right, some folk seem tae be gettin' the wrang end-y the stick here. Ah'm no' here tae bail emdy oot. Ah'm no' pittin' a penny intae Bisto FC. That's up tae yous lot tae come up wi' the readies. The plan is that Ah use your money tae get back in, awright?"


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