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Friday 23 May 2014

MURDER MURDER POLIS

Is it not a criminal offence to waste police time? It's not as if they've got nothing else to do but turn up at Ibrox every couple of weeks so that somebody can have a look at what everybody's earning. They really do get carried away with themselves, The Peeppul. I wish somebody would hurry up and win this war for Ibrox; it would be nice to end my book with this current saga resolved. Even an administration would do me. Come on, lads, get it sorted! It's good to have some sort of conclusion at the end of a book.

Meanwhile, the Bisto Kids are all over the story of Neil Lennon leaving Celtic. It's the only bit of good news they've had for years now. Why they see it as good news I can't fathom; who are they going to hate now? And I noticed on McMurdo's blog that some are claiming that history will be 're-written' to make it look like Lennon was the victim of bigotry. What planet are thse clowns on? Even if Vincent Lunny has no eyes or ears when it comes to The Peeppul the rest of the world has and they could all see, as plain as day, what he was subjected to.

Staying with McMurdo, I see he's still got this theory in the back of his mind that some outside agency is to blame for the War of the Crooks. 'Divide and conquer,' he says, and it's not the first time he's come out with this. I take it, then, that it's all Celtic supporters in the Broomloan Stand waving pishy bedsheets about?

Strangely, given his penchant for constantly quoting the Bible like Dot Cotton, McMurdo hasn't looked to his religion for answers. Reformed Protestantism believes in predistination and that God orders everything that happens in the world. Their God is a sadistic brute, who has already decided, right from the start, who is going to Heaven and who is going to Hell. He has also made a Covenant with His 'Chosen People' that He will look after them here on Earth if they obey His laws. If they don't obey then God shows his anger the same way He did in the Old Testament. This is why you get the likes of DUP MPs claiming that all the floods in England are divine punishment for His people allowing same-sex marriages.

Since God is an Orangeman, He obviously supports the Ibrox team. Surely they must see that all the troubles besetting them are because God is angry about something they've done. Jesus said, 'Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's.' In other words: pay your taxes! Maybe God's been in league with HMRC all along, and the articles on the Rangers Tax Case blog were actually divine revelation, like the book in the Bible with the same name! So there's a new chant for them: 'God disnae like us an' we don't care!'

Knowing The Peeppul, however, if they did follow this train of thought they'd probably put it down to God being angry because they've been signing Catholics! Which brings me onto a disgusting post by somebody on McMurdo's blog. Some guy's daughter's getting married and he says,  "He is actually a Killie fan, but he is the right religion, and a very nice guy, and a member of HM’s Forces.
CoS wedding, I am pretty pleased with her choice." I thought we'd seen the last of that kind of thinking.


My own daughter has had an off/on relationship with her boyfriend for years now. The guy's not that interested in football but comes down on the side of 'Rangers'. He is also nominally a Protestant. I only discovered this by chance as I couldn't give a flying fuck which religion, if any, he follows. If he was trying to drag her off to join the Moonies or something then I think I'd be concerned; otherwise, as long as my daughter is happy then that's all that matters to me. This consideration obviously comes way down the list of priorities as far as some of The Peeppul are concerned.

Finally, I see Napier University has come out tops in a survey to find out where students get the most sex. Damn! Why couldn't they have had a survey like that before I chose which university I was going to?





And God did look upon The Rangers and said,
"Pye yer fuckin' taxes!"


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