JABBA THE AGNIVORE: MAGNA CUM RISE RANGERS MORTUUS EST.

Trying to buy success is nothing new; in fact, it has gone on since ancient times. In the Ancient Roman Republic it cost a fortune to mount a successful election campaign and many young men had to resort to borrowing cash to make their way in the world. Even Julius Caesar could not rely on his illustrious family name and descent from the goddess Venus; he needed cash and he needed it fast. The idea was that if you were elected Consul you could then be posted to a lucrative Pro-Consulship abroad when your year's term was up. So when Caesar got his posting to Gaul he was up to his eyes in debt and it was not just military glory he was looking to earn.

Of course, for every success story like Caesar's there were plenty of failures. There were only two Consulships per year so not everybody was going to make it. If you were lucky then your family might bale you out, or you might end up in the pocket of a rich, behind-the-scenes man like Crassus. If you had nothing to fall back on then you'd end up being sued and then forced to work as a slave in one of the chain-gangs working the huge estates in Central Italy. Of course, some ran like hell as soon as their failure became apparent and could never return to Rome ever again. The whole business of politics was one huge gamble after another. Unfortunately, if you were an upper-class Roman from one of the great, old families then you were practically forced to take part in politics for the good name of your clan.

Football in the modern world is just like Roman politics; if you want to be big you need to spend big money. It doesn't always work, though. Look at Gretna. This club managed to climb to the giddy heights of the SPL from practically nowhere. When Brooks Mileson took ill and died, however, the money was gone and Gretna crashed and burned. It just showed what a gamble the whole thing is; you can be up there one minute and down at the bottom the next.

Most clubs don't have the benefit of a rich financier like Mileson behind them. Instead they rely on bank loans. This is something that Michel Platini has been, unsuccessfully, trying to stamp out for years. The money owed by huge, global brands like Man Utd, Barcelona etc makes frightening reading but, so far, all the books seem to be being balanced. Platini is not just worried about the unfair advantage these clubs gain but about the precarious position it places European football in overall. A 1929-style run on the banks, with all loans having to be called in, would cause the whole of European football to implode. UEFA, however, finds it hard to regulate against this spending and borrowing; remember the 'three foreigners' rule? How long did that last?

The problem is that all the laws of the EU, and Britain for that matter, are against regulating business. The free-market economy has become so ingrained that it's considered sacrilege to even question it. Football clubs are businesses and so it's a question of how much you can spend, how much you can borrow, how much you can make and Devil take the hindmost. And that's where David Murray comes in. He thought all it took was money. He spent millions upon millions trying to get Rangers into the big-boys' playground, not realising that he was never going to be able to borrow or spend as much as the biggest teams. Look at Rangers' biggest signing, Tore Andre Flo. His £12m price tag might seem big in Scotland but was risible compared to the silly money being thrown about by the big European clubs.

Flo also points to another flaw in Murray's plans: it's not just about spending money, it's what you buy with it. Flo was not a success at Rangers and was sold on for just over half what Murray paid for him. This also showed up another flaw. Murray was not building for the future. Everything was about immediate success and every failure just prompted him to throw more money at the problem; money that Rangers could afford less and less.

It was bound to end in tears and it did. Rangers debts ran into nine figures and all Murray could do was absorb this into his holding company, MIH. The banking crisis and the economic slump hit MIH hard and every part of the business was running at a loss. It wasn't long before the bank had to step in to protect its own investment. Lloyds Bank is still effectively running MIH and trying desperately to sell off assets and trim it back into a profit-making business, with little success so far. It makes you wonder if the company might have been in a better place if it hadn't absorbed all the losses made by Rangers. All the people that worked for MIH's subsidiaries, who lost their jobs, probably wonder about that too.

So, even discounting the tax fraud allegations, Rangers, and its holding company, MIH, faced a bleak financial future. There are folk now claiming that they would have bought Rangers if it hadn't been for the Tax Case; but would they have? The stadium was in a state of disrepair, the much-vaunted football academy had failed to produce much, especially since youth and planning for the future had been anathema at Ibrox for years and fat pay-packets were de rigeur. Any purchaser that wanted to make a success of it would have to restructure the whole club from the top down. All that had mattered to Murray was chasing that elusive dream of European success; he had gambled and he had failed. But that was life in the free-market economy that Murray was such a supporter of.

As I've said, let's put aside the arguments about tax-dodging, cheating, dodgy bank deals and financial doping. Cut all that away and you're left with the basic truth that Rangers, under Murray, tried to reach too far and failed. That's the way business works; if you're going to swim with the sharks then you can't complain when you get eaten.

All of which makes the current squealing by The Peeppul nothing but a ridiculous, petulant noise. McMurdo, for example, always makes it plain that he's a Tory at heart and believes in the free market. His disciples are the same and are desperately trying to dig up dirt on Celtic to get them investigated under the rules of fair competition. And yet, McMurdo has this to say, "Where is the credibility of the Scottish Government which turned a blind eye to the plight of Scotland’s most successful team in history?" So, essentially what he's saying is that every club in Scotland, especially Celtic, should operate under free-market, laissez-faire rules but that Rangers should have been helped by the Scottish Government! Er...why the Scottish Government? They keep telling us that they're British and that Rangers was (or still is in their eyes) the 'Quintessential British club'; so shouldn't they be targeting their ire towards Westminster?

He goes on, "Where is the credibility of self-appointed Rangers “experts” like RTC blog and Phil Mac Downfall?" I see, so the RTC blog has no credibility because it got it all wrong. And yet, the day before McMurdo was calling for an investigation into leaks from HMRC to RTC. Those 'leaks' couldn't have been very good considering that McMurdo is now contending that the blog got everything so spectacularly wrong! It seems they just want to lash out at everybody without rhyme nor reason. As for 'Downfall' Phil Mac Giolla Bhain merely explained the facts of what happened. I don't remember him making any particular moral judgments; he just reported the facts. And he's to be pilloried for that?

And there's more. "Where is the credibility of all the journos who lambasted and denigrated Rangers as cheaters?" Who? I asked this before and I'll ask it again: can any member of The Peeppul point to even one instance of Rangers being 'lambasted' and 'denigrated' in our esteemed press? Just one article. In fact, just one line will do!

The rickets sufferers today take their bile over to Northern Ireland, where they're quite welcome to remain while the rest of us try to build a Scotland for the future. But then it's hardly fair to inflict this bunch on the poor people, of whatever faith, in Ulster. They've got their own bams to contend with. Anyway, I was reading elsewhere about the struggle to eliminate prejudice and bigotry by teachers while it's inculcated into children at all times in the home. This is my own experience and its quite frightening to see what quite decent children can turn into.

There was one lad I taught, I'll call him Nigel since I've never actually taught anyone of that name. Nigel wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree but he knew this and was quite happy to laugh along when he made a mistake. His dad was a bit of a bigot but Nigel didn't show much of this kind of thing in school. He could get into trouble at times but there was no real badness in him and you couldn't help but like him. He also bought me a Henrik Larsson calendar for Christmas and insisted I put it up on the classroom wall!

Nigel professed to be a Rangers supporter but he wasn't that interested in football and had no idea what was going on in the league or anything. When Celtic won the league that year he couldn't care less and hadn't even known until somebody in the class told him. He gave us all a laugh in the middle of June when he came in on Monday to ask me if I'd seen Rangers beating Celtic the previous day. He was unconvinced when everyone tried to tell him that the season was over and that there couldn't possibly have been a game that Sunday. After questioning him about the score and the names of some of the players we deduced that his dad must have been playing a DVD of some old match!

Quite a few of my ex-pupils, and their parents, still keep in touch with me on Facebook. One of them pointed me in the direction of Nigel's page. It's filled with stuff about the Orange Lodge, the EDL and loads of anti-Muslim shite. He's got pictures of himself marching, in full regalia, in Belfast and fighting with police in the 'fleg' riots. There's also a bit about 'Oor wee country' ie Ulster. I suppose I have to take some of the blame. I remember the blood I sweated teaching him how to read a map, use an atlas and know something about different countries and continents and where they were in the world. If I hadn't made such an effort then he'd still think that Ulster was somewhere in the South Pacific!

Finally, something that puzzles me when I visit other blogs. Quite a few folk ask for donations 'to keep the blog running.' I don't get it. Does their internet connection run on a coin meter or something? Or maybe they see their time as valuable. My time is only as valuable as the DWP says it is and I suit myself when I feel like posting something here. The bloggers that ask for cash, however, don't post every day either. So what, exactly is the money for? Maybe somebody can explain it to me. Me? I see this as a hobby and the fact that other people read it helps to feed my innate megalomania. That's something money can't buy! Of course, I'd like everybody that reads this to buy my books but I'm not going to go in the huff if they don't! And if you're as skint as I am then I'm quite happy to give you a Kindle copy for free. (You're on your own with the paperback version - I can't afford to buy them to give away!) My writing is another hobby and I'm not stupid enough to think I'm going to make a career out of it, though it would be nice! So rest assured, if you like this blog I'm not going to ask you for any money or put up adverts for Thai brides or anything!

EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY

WHAT THEY WOULD HAVE SAID ABOUT THAT PICTURE ON PREVIOUS OCCASIONS

May 2011

The end of an era as David Murray sadly says goodbye to Rangers. Motherwell-born billionaire, Craig Whyte, looks on happily as his purchase is finalised.

June 2011

Motherwell-born billionaire, Craig Whyte looks on happily, making plans for the millions he's going to plough into Ally's warchest.

November 2011

Motherwell-born billionaire, Craig Whyte, might not have looked so happy if he had known all the bile that the filthy, muckraking BBC was going to throw at him.

February 2012